By Chris Seiter

Published on November 4th, 2023

When a relationship ends, the emotional ties and interactions that once formed its foundation can sometimes take a dark turn. Harassment from an ex is not just a post-breakup nuisance; it’s a serious issue that can significantly impact one’s emotional and physical well-being.

It’s an aggressive breach of personal boundaries that can escalate from unwelcome texts or calls to more menacing behaviors, instilling a continuous state of stress, anxiety, or fear. The effects can permeate every aspect of life, from personal peace to professional performance, and can lead to more severe consequences if left unchecked.

Taking such harassment seriously is critical because it represents a clear violation of one’s right to feel safe and secure. Moreover, addressing it head-on is essential for protecting oneself and ensuring the harassment does not escalate into a more dangerous situation. Whether it’s psychological torment or an explicit threat, each act of harassment is a red flag that warrants a firm response in the interest of safety and mental health.

If you find yourself being harassed by your ex-girlfriend, here are 12 steps you should consider to protect yourself and resolve the situation:

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What Can I Do If My Ex-Girlfriend is Harassing Me? 12 Essential Steps to Take

  1. Document Everything: Begin by recording every interaction, whether it’s through texts, calls, emails, or in-person encounters. Having a detailed record will be crucial if you decide to involve law enforcement later.
  2. Set Clear Boundaries: Clearly communicate to your ex that her behavior is unwanted. Be explicit about what you consider harassment and request her to stop.
  3. Limit Social Media Exposure: Adjust your privacy settings, ensuring she can’t access or post on your profiles. This helps in reducing potential points of interaction.
  4. Change Your Number: If she continually reaches out via calls or texts, consider changing your phone number. Inform close friends and family about the change to keep them in the loop.
  5. Avoid Face-to-Face Confrontations: Try to avoid situations where you might run into her. If unavoidable, consider having someone accompany you as a safety measure.
  6. Seek a Restraining Order: If the harassment escalates, consult legal advice about obtaining a restraining or protective order. This will legally bar her from approaching or contacting you.
  7. Inform Friends and Family: Let your close ones know about the situation. They can support you emotionally and keep an eye out, ensuring you’re not caught off-guard.
  8. Use Technology Wisely: Consider using apps or tools designed to block unwanted calls or texts. Keep your locations private and turn off sharing settings that might inform her of your whereabouts.
  9. Speak to a Counselor or Therapist: Harassment can be mentally taxing. Engaging with a professional can help process feelings and develop coping mechanisms.
  10. Stay Safe: Prioritize your safety. If you ever feel in immediate danger, do not hesitate to call the police or a local emergency number. Familiarize yourself with safe places in your vicinity.
  11. Consider Mediation: In some cases, mediation can help in resolving conflicts. A neutral third party can facilitate communication, helping both parties reach an understanding.
  12. Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with local laws and regulations concerning harassment and stalking. Being informed empowers you to take appropriate legal actions if required.


Harassment from an ex-girlfriend is a severe concern, and your feelings and safety are paramount. While every situation is unique, it’s essential to approach the issue with a combination of caution, assertiveness, and support. Always prioritize your well-being and never hesitate to seek professional or legal assistance when necessary. Remember, no one should have to endure harassment, and there are resources and avenues available to help you navigate through such challenging times.

What If My Ex is Harassing Me Through Text? 10 Crucial Dos and Don’ts

Text harassment is unnerving, especially coming from someone you once shared a close relationship with. When an ex-partner resorts to this behavior, it’s essential to take the right steps to safeguard your well-being and resolve the situation. Here are ten critical dos and don’ts to consider:

1. Do Document Every Message: Always save the harassing texts as evidence. This documentation can prove invaluable if the situation escalates and legal action becomes necessary. Screenshots, timestamps, and any other relevant details should be preserved.

2. Don’t Engage or Respond Aggressively: While your initial reaction might be to reply defensively or with anger, avoid doing so. Responding in kind can complicate matters, possibly making the situation more volatile.

3. Do Clearly State Your Boundaries: Send a clear, calm message asking your ex to stop texting you. Be concise and firm. Once you’ve made your stance clear, avoid any further engagement.

4. Don’t Delete the Texts: Even if the messages are hurtful, keep them stored. Deleting them might mean losing crucial evidence if you ever need to prove the harassment.

5. Do Use Blocking Features: Most phones and messaging apps allow you to block specific contacts. If the texts continue or become more aggressive, consider using this feature to stop the barrage of messages.

6. Don’t Share the Harassment Publicly: While you might feel the need to share your ordeal on social platforms for support, be cautious. Publicizing the harassment can escalate tensions and have unintended legal implications.

7. Do Inform Friends and Family: It’s crucial to let those close to you know about the situation. They can offer support, provide advice, and be on the lookout for any further concerning behavior from your ex.

8. Don’t Isolate Yourself: Harassment can make you feel alone or ashamed. Reach out to support groups or professionals who can guide you through the situation. Remember, you’re not alone, and many resources can help.


Experiencing harassment through text from an ex-partner is distressing and intimidating, but you are not powerless. By taking the right steps, you can regain control of the situation and protect your peace of mind. If the behavior persists or worsens, do not hesitate to contact the authorities. Your safety and security are of utmost importance. Remember, there is support and help available, and you deserve to live free from harassment.

Frequently Asked Questions About How To Handle An Ex That is Threatening or Harassing You

  1. What qualifies as harassment from an ex?
    • Harassment can be any persistent and unwanted communication or behavior that causes you distress or fear. This includes excessive calls, texts, emails, social media messages, or showing up in places after you’ve asked them to stop.
  2. How do I get my ex to stop contacting me?
    • Send a clear, written message that their contact is unwanted and will be considered harassment if it continues. After this, cease all communication. If they persist, block their number and social media accounts.
  3. Can I get a restraining order against my ex for harassment?
    • Yes, if their behavior constitutes harassment or stalking, you may be able to obtain a restraining order. The specific requirements for a restraining order vary by jurisdiction, so consult a legal professional.
  4. Should I respond to threats made by my ex?
    • Do not engage with the threats. Document them, take them seriously, and report them to the police, especially if you feel your safety is in jeopardy.
  5. What should I do if my ex is spreading rumors or lies about me?
    • Document the behavior, seek legal advice, and consider a cease and desist letter if the situation warrants it. In the meantime, maintain your integrity and avoid stooping to their level.
  6. Is it harassment if my ex only contacts me occasionally?
    • Even if the contact is not constant, it can still be harassment, especially if it’s unwanted and causes distress. The key is how the contact affects you and your sense of safety.
  7. What can I do if my ex is using other people to contact me?
    • Inform those people that you do not wish to receive messages from your ex and ask them not to relay information. If they continue, they may also be engaging in harassment.
  8. How should I deal with mutual friends during this situation?
    • Be honest with mutual friends about the situation without sharing unnecessary details or badmouthing your ex. Set boundaries about what information about you can be shared with your ex.
  9. Can I press charges if my ex is harassing me?
    • Depending on your local laws, harassment can be a criminal offense. Collect evidence of the harassment and consult with law enforcement or a legal professional to explore your options.
  10. What support resources are available for dealing with a harassing ex?
  • There are many resources, including hotlines, shelters, counseling services, legal aid, and online forums. Look for local organizations that specialize in dealing with harassment and domestic abuse.	

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