Have you ever suffered a breakup, but soon afterwords you find yourself running into your ex girlfriend?
If you are one of those individuals who keeps bumping into your ex girlfriend, you are probably wondering why it keeps happening.
And you are also probably wondering if it is a good thing and how you can use it to your advantage if you want her back.
Maybe you are consciously (or even subconsciously) doing things so that you cross paths with her.
Or perhaps, your ex girlfriend is doing things to make sure she bumps into you.
Or it could be one amazing cosmic coincidence.
So why does it happen?
Should you avoid such unplanned meetings with your ex girlfriend?
What should you do about it if it does happen?
Should the “bumping accidentally on purpose” strategy be part of your ex back Plan?
It’s an interesting topic, isn’t it!
So let’s tackle it.
Why Do I Keep Running Into My Ex Girlfriend?
There are multiple reasons why the two of you may end up bumping into each other.
Reason 1: You could be crossing paths because she wants to see you so she can judge how you will react. Let’s refer to this as the Ex GF Bump Test. In this case, she is pulling all the strings and engineering how the two of you will come into contact. This could end up as one of those pass or fail situations, so pay attention to what I talk about later in this article!
Reason 2: You and your ex girlfriend, try as you might to avoid each other, may run in the same social circles so running into each other is not that rare of an event. It can just happen without planning and occur unexpectedly.
Reason 3: You subconscious is a powerful thing. Just maybe you are coming into her world because deep down you know there is unfinished business. So you end up putting yourself in her path, perhaps without fully realizing what you are doing.
Reason 4: Both of you have experiences with the other that you both value……a special park…..a movie theater where you had good times…..a favorite restaurant. It stands to reason those same places will attract you both and somewhere along the way you could come across each other.
Reason 5: You may have hurt her badly, yet your ex may still want to give you a chance to confront your regret and apologize. So she makes an effort to put herself in your path to see what comes of it all. And be aware that she may not even be sure about what she wants.
Reason 6: An unexpected meeting of two former lovers could be purely coincidental and random. That’s right. Weird coincidences can happen. Or you can call it karma. Who knows, maybe you are both destined to have another chance to get it right if you believe in that kind of thing!
What Should I Do If I Bump Into My Ex Girlfriend?
Ah, so now we have arrived at the critical question! If you find yourself face to face with your ex girlfriend, how should you handle it?
Here Are Things You Should NOT Do If You Cross Paths Unexpectedly
- Don’t ignore her. Even if you are in the midst of your No Contact Period, it would be poor form to not acknowledge her. Maybe she planned it. Maybe not. This is not the time to judge.
- Don’t act different or pretend you are not surprised. She will notice the difference and see right through what ever your ploy might be.
- Avoid starting a new argument with your ex if you happen to accidentally (or on purpose) bump into her. Bite your lip if angry words are about to emerge. Rise above it. Don’t give in to your base anger which could still be present.
- Don’t bring up the past or play the blame game. That slippery slope will just be a big turn off and turn what could have been a positive into a huge negative.
- Don’t accuse her of going out of her way to run into you, even if you strongly suspect it. The truth is you can’t be sure and if you are certain, don’t make her look and feel foolish.
- Don’t banter on incessantly about nonsensical things.
- Don’t pretend nothing is wrong and that things didn’t go sour. Acting like you are a happy, go lucky guy with not a care in the world is not the vibe you want to project.
Here Are The Things You SHOULD Do If You and Your Ex Girlfriend Have An Unplanned Encounter
- Be cordial and respectful.
- Ask her politely how she has been doing
- Find something positive to say to her
- Realize that she may have arranged for this chance encounter so use it to show your maturity and humility. So put best face forward
- Talk about yourself briefly, revealing a truth about how you have been spending your time, but don’t go overboard.
- Don’t be in a hurry to leave. Let her end the encounter
- Let your parting words be positive and thank her for sharing her time with you.
Should I Try To Run Into Her As a Matter of Strategy?
So by now your are probably wondering whether it is a worthwhile strategy to accidentally on purpose bump into your ex girlfriend. Great question.
Unfortunately, there is no one straight answer. Well, I guess I could say, “it depends”. But that usually pisses off people when they are looking for the “one” right way of getting an ex back.
But it is true. Sometimes it pays to find a way where the two of you can have an unplanned rendezvous – sort kinda – if you catch the drift.
Then there are other times when it would be awful timing to try to get back on her good side.
So how do you know whether you should try to run into her?
It is a bit tricky because things can change, where upon it may not be a good idea to do so, but then later, after some time has elapsed, running into her could open a door.
Let me give you some general guidelines. It often comes down to certain factors and circumstances that are in play.
Consider these moving pieces.
Arrange to Bump Into Her If The Following Variables Are In Play:
- A few weeks have gone by without either of you seeing each other, yet the breakup was not that bad and there was some stability to the relationship.
- You are are hearing from your sources that she could be amenable to conversation.
- You are far along with your No Contact Period and she has made some positive efforts to communicate.
- Both of you have a mutual friend that has invited each of you to some event. (Note: Applies only if you are not in your no contact period or you are far along and things have not been testy).
- You know that you are mostly to blame for the breakup and trusted friends tell you she has been inquiring about you a lot. In this event, you best be prepared to confess that you made mistakes, otherwise you will lose ground when implementing this tactic.
Avoid Trying To Run Into Your Ex Girlfriend If The Following Variables Are In Play:
- You just started with your No Contact Period. Trust me, you both likely need to spend some time apart to lick your wounds and gain some new perspectives.
- You have been drinking get this sudden desire to meet up with her somehow. Don’t do it. Your drunken state is likely to leave you exposed.
- You hear from others she is going to a party or some other event that you planned to be at, but emotionally you still carry a lot of pain and resentment for what went down.
- Her best friend says she can arrange for the two of you to be in the same place at the same time. Before jumping at this offer ask yourself….who is orchestrating your ex recovery plan? Her best friend or your own carefully crafted Ex Back Plan.