When I was 18 years old I went through my very first breakup (I’m 28 now.)
Now, the thing that is interesting to note here is how the breakup went down. At 18 years old you are nothing but a ball of emotion and every little thing can “set you off.” This was my relationship in a nutshell.
She would flirt with other men, I would get jealous.
Jealousy would soon turn into anger and with anger came the fighting.
I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fighting in a relationship before in my life.
I suppose in hindsight that just goes with the territory of being young and inexperienced in relationships but I digress.
Already you know from this story that this relationship I am in is not very healthy.
But what if I told you that I broke up with this girl as a complete mistake?
How Was This Breakup A Mistake?
Here’s the backstory.
I had just graduated from high school and was enjoying my last summer before I was going to head off to college.
Of course, that “exciting summer” wasn’t so exciting as it was filled with a lot of anger and fights in my relationship with this girl. One day one of my buddies suggests that we go on a road trip to “enjoy ourselves” while we can before the constraints of college tether us.
I emphatically agreed!
For weeks we had this road trip all planned out.
We decided the first thing we were going to do was travel to a theme park and spend a day riding all the rollercoasters we could find.
Now, in the background I was telling my “soon to be ex girlfriend” what was happening so that she would know where I was but the day before I was due to go on this road trip my ex and I got into a massive fight.
(It was probably my fault and it was definitely over something stupid.)
Anyways, I literally remember muttering the phrase,
Over the phone because I was so annoyed with the conversation that I just wanted out of it.
So, after that fight I went to bed and woke up ready to go on the road trip with my buddy and like always the first thing I did was check my phone to see if I got a sweet good morning text from my girlfriend.
“Hmm… that’s weird” I thought to myself.
One thing you have to know about me is that I am pretty stubborn by nature so I took a hard line on this situation and reserved myself to make sure that I made her contact me first.
Anyways, my buddy and I hit the road and hours go by and I have gotten nothing from my girlfriend.
A few more hours go by and we are almost at our destination and that is when the anticipation is killing me.
I decide to break and text her.
And that is when the lightbulb went off in my head.
The night before I never specified how “I was done.”
You see, I had meant it in the context of the conversation. I was sick of fighting with her and didn’t want to continue a fight before I went off on my road trip. However, she took it as if I was done with the entire conversation.
I had broken up with her accidentally.
It was a complete mistake.
What This Page Can Do For You
You found this page because you think your breakup with your ex was a mistake.
Hell, some of you may have made a mistake and want her back.
Well, I want you to know that I understand what you are going through. I have literally been in your shoes and that is why I can understand what you want more than anything.
You want her back!
And I am here to tell you how to do that.
Now, it isn’t going to be an easy road and there are no guarantees when it comes to this but there is a process that you can follow to maximize your chances.
What I’d like to do is teach you that process and give you a general overview of what you can do starting right now if you want your ex girlfriend back.
Overall I’d say that this page is going to focus on three things.
- Your Overall Chances With Your Ex
- The Process You Need To Use
- Interacting With My Team
Does that sound like something to get excited about?
Ok, let’s begin!
Your Overall Chances With Your Ex
One of the most important questions that you are going to need to consider when determining how to move forward is if you even have a chance to get your ex back.
I’m actually shocked how many people out there will lie to your face and tell you that you have a great chance when really you don’t. So, I thought I would teach you my quick method on how you can determine your chances.
Take a look at the graphic I put together for you below,
Now, you may be sitting there and thinking,
“Umm Chris, what the hell is this?”
If you are having that moment do not panic. I will explain this graphic but I need to give you a little background first.
Last year I began doing coaching calls. I believe I did around 50 total in a month (which was a lot of work.)
Now, before I did these sessions I thought I knew everything there was to know about getting an ex back.
Boy was I wrong!
Talking to someone one on one teaches you so much.
Around client 25 I started to notice something that I have never noticed before. Really someones overall chances is based on three unique factors.
- What the actual breakup was like
- What you do after the breakup
- What the relationship was like before the breakup
I knew this before I started the coaching calls but I always assumed that all three of these factors were equal in weight.
But life doesn’t really work that way does it?
Really each one of these factors impacts your chances differently and that is what the graphic above depicts.
So, what I’d like to do now is spend a few minutes going over each factor so you know what it is and how much it impacts your overall chances.
What The Actual Breakup Was Like
Out of the three factors I would say that this is the one with the least impact. It’s going to impact your overall chances at a rate of about 10%.
(More on that in a second.)
This factor refers to the actual act of breaking up.
What was said?
What was thrown?
Who broke up with who?
Generally speaking I’d like to see a very cordial breakup where you immediately dip into your no contact rule.. However, don’t be alarmed if you had one that was filled with screaming and crying. Things like this happen from time to time.
Now, why do you think I’d prefer to see you immediately get to work on the no contact rule?
It really has to do with perception more than anything.
Your ex girlfriend has a pretty good idea of how you are going to act during the breakup.
There is going to be anger…
There might be yelling…
Hell, there might even be some crying…
But what if instead of doing those things you gladly accepted the breakup, didn’t have any freak out and went into the no contact rule?
Well, if you did those things then the chances are pretty good that her perception of you will have been completely changed.
Instead of thinking “normal thoughts” she is going to think,
“Wait… did he even care about me in the relationship?”
You want her thinking that. It’s a much easier place to start as opposed to having her think,
“I am so glad I broke up with him.”
What You Do After The Breakup
This is where things start to heat up.
You’ll notice in my nifty graphic above I gave this one about a weight of 40%.
In other words, this is super important to master.
Now, I don’t want to waste too much time on this because I am going to go really in-depth on this in the next section.
However, I will say that out of the three factors we are looking at in this section this is the one you have the most control over.
What do I mean by that?
Well, unless you have a time machine you can’t go back in time and change how your breakup occurred and you can’t change how your relationship with your girlfriend was. So, those things are kind of set.
In other words, the only real control you have over the situation is with what you do after the breakup.
Luckily, it accounts for a massive amount of your chances!
Of course, not as much as the next factor we are about to talk about.
What Your Relationship Was Like Before The Breakup
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.
You don’t get your ex girlfriend back by saying the perfect thing at the perfect time.
You get her back by winning out in the internal conversation she has in her head when she is deciding on if she should take you back or not.
And more than anything what stops her from taking you back when she does have that internal conversation is memories of how things were in your relationship.
The biggest headwind you face revolves around seven simple words,
I don’t want history to repeat itself.
I can’t tell you how many situations I have dealt with where this has been the biggest gripe with the ex girlfriend.
This is the ultimate make or break factor which is why I have it weighted at 50%.
So, what is it that you’d like to see here?
Generally speaking I find there is always a point in a relationship where things start to go downhill. When I am on the phone with a coaching client I push them really hard to find that point.
Let’s say that you were dating your ex girlfriend for a total of ten months and somewhere around month eight things started to go downhill,
It’s really important to locate that point because it’s going to tell you a lot about the quality of your relationship.
Generally what I’d like to see is a lot of time going by before that downhill point.
Well, it means that most of your relationship was strong and happy. It’ll be easier to bring your ex back to those happy moments.
What I don’t want to see is that downhill point that occurs really early in a relationship and most of your relationship is marred with bad memories.
The Process You Need To Use To Get Your Ex Back
Have you ever heard of a value chain before?
Business tend to use them when outlining how their products get shipped and into customers hands.
So, for a basic food business it would tend to look something like this,
Essentially it’s a step by step model that shows you everything you need to know.
Well, what I’d like to do is create a value chain for you except instead of it being about the food business it’s about getting your ex back and the basic model you should be using.
Are you ready?
Now, I have some good news and I have some bad news.
Which would you like first?
The good news?!?
Well, the good news is I basically gave you the bones of the entire strategy I teach here on Ex Girlfriend Recovery.
So, what’s the bad news?
Well, the bad news is that I don’t have the time or patience to properly explain it to you. That’s why I wrote my best selling book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.
If you want a really good explanation of what to do I suggest you read that.
Interacting With My Team
Now, I’m not in denial to the fact that you probably have a lot of questions.
There’s bound to be something that I forgot to cover and that’s why I want to give you the opportunity to ask me or my team a question in the comments below.
Don’t worry, we aren’t like some of those other websites out there. If you ask a question we will respond. Now, it may take us a day or two but you’ll always get an answer.