Why Does My Ex Girlfriend Keep Contacting Me

Do you ever wonder why your ex girlfriend keeps trying to contact you?

It’s like she won’t let you go.  The breakup has happened and maybe you are still unsure what to do about it.  Yet, your ex girlfriend just won’t leave you alone.

Have you ever been in a situation where your ex girlfriend blows up your phone with message after message?

It is as if you can almost see the sizzling anger, resentment, tears or whatever is going on wither her coming through as you read over her words.

She might be texting at all hours of the day.  Or your ex girl friend might be calling you when the last thing you want to do is talk with her or anyone for that matter about your relationship issues.

Yet, she won’t give it up.  The calls come.  The text messages from your ex girlfriend keep flying across your phone.

What Does it Feel Like When Your Ex Girlfriend’s Texts and Phone Calls Just Keep Coming

girl texting you

It can be exasperating when you can hardly breathe and figure out what the hell happened, then suddenly here comes a volley of text messages from your ex girlfriend.  And when you don’t respond, then your ex girlfriend unloads a series of texts, followed by a volley of phone calls.

It’s like you have been dating a crazy woman all along, yet you never knew it. Well, maybe you don’t believe that entirely, but I bet the thought flashes through your mind.

She just won’t stop and when this goes on for a few days, you really start looking for places to hide because you figure she is going to be coming over to your place to confront you.

I wouldn’t blame you if you felt a bit paranoid if you were being bombarded by texts and calls from your ex.

If it wasn’t hard enough to deal with the confusion of a breakup, now you have to worry if your ex girlfriend will have some crazy notion about knocking on your door in the middle of the night or showing up at your workplace.

What on earth should you do when you are bombarded with text messages and phone calls from an irate and unhappy and very determined ex?

Well, if you have not already put together your ex recovery plan, then take a good look at some the resources I offer to my customers!

Why Won’t Your Ex Girlfriend Leave You Alone and Insists on Calling and Texting You (6 Major Reasons)

So let’s say you are one of those guys whose ex girlfriend keeps contacting you after she broke up with you.

Go figure, right.?

One moment you are telling yourself, “why did she do this”.  Then the next moment you are wondering “why does my ex keep contacting me after dumping me”.  Its one layer of confusion on top of another.

Then you have the bizarre case of your ex girlfriend going out and finding herself a new boyfriend, yet here comes the calls and texts from her.  I mean what does she expect, (you think to yourself)……that you are going to forgive her and give your blessing to her new romance.

So you don’t answer the phone or reply to her text messages. Yet you can’t help but wonder what it all means and what, if anything, you should do about it.

So let’s take a look at the 6 major reasons why your ex girlfriend won’t give you any peace of mind and seems to insist that you should be reading and replying to every text and picking up every call.  It get into this in great detail in my 485 page eBook, “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro”.

1. Your Ex Girlfriend Can’t Help Herself

It could be your ex girlfriend is just obsessed about making contact with you.  You are in her mind everyday since the breakup and the thought of not being able to talk to you is driving her nearly crazy.  She will do almost anything to get you to respond and when you don’t, it just fuels her desire to reach you.

It may seem like you ex girlfriend is acting a bit nuts and it could even spook you that she won’t stop trying to contact you, but you should know that a large part of her behavior is being driven by the chemistry of her brain, prodding her to get some relief by connecting with you.

2. Your Ex Girlfriend is Testing You

Another possibility is your ex girlfriend is being very clever and very sly.

She is reaching out to you just to see if you will bite.  She wants to gauge how you might be feeling or whether you will even respond to her.  It does not necessarily mean she wants to get back with you.  She may not be sure about what she wants.  But something in her mind tells her she needs more information about how you are handling all this. It is even possible this is her way of gauging how well you deal with adversity and obstacles or how much you really want her.

Just remember.  Your ex girlfriend (and girls in general) process and act upon events differently than you (guys in general).

3.  The Girl That You Thought Was the “One” Is Confused and Doesn’t Know What She Wants

confused girl

Relationships can be complicated and your ex girlfriend may truly not know what she wants.  She may be confused with her feelings.  So when she reaches out to you, she is driven to contact you to explore her own feelings and also evaluate how you feel about everything.

It can take your ex girlfriend some time to sort through her own feelings. So if she is reaching out in a somewhat confused state of mind, don’t make it easy for her to write you off by being rude or obnoxious if you do choose to reply.

4. Your Ex Girlfriend Is Reaching Out To You As Part of Her No Contact Effort

It could be that your ex girlfriend is a student of mine.

She could have visited my other website that is aimed at helping girls get their ex boyfriends back.  And if that is the case, she may have implemented the no contact rule and has finally gotten around to reaching out to you since her period of no contact with you has ended.

So think of her contact as not a fig leaf of goodwill, but rather part of a concerted effort to get the relationship back on track.  In effect she is initiating contact because it is part of her ex boyfriend recovery plan.

5.  Guess what?  Your Ex Girlfriend is Setting a Boyfriend Trap and You Better Watch Out

A more devious reason for why your ex girlfriend is suddenly trying to make contact with you is she is still very angry and wants to draw you in, only to pull the carpet out from under you.

Now I am sure your ex girlfriend is not the devil or some evil person trying to do you in.  In fact, she may not even be aware that she still harbors resentment towards you.  It could be something that lies deep in her unconscious mind.

Nevertheless, the pull on her to contact you can be strong.  And once you get involved in talking with her, the whole thing can blow up.  It could be something you say or the way you say it.

Whatever it is, before you know it, your ex girlfriend is all over you again, dredging up the past and unleashing all those things she has always wanted to say.

Oddly, when its all over, she feels better and you may feel worse. But if you recognize that the flip size of passionate hate is passionate love, this could be an opportune time to actually start making up with her.  You ex girlfriend has unleashed the Cracken on you and you survived and did not take it wrong.  You might be surprised at how she will respond positively to this!

6. Your Former Lover is Still Filled With Anger and Resentment and Is Playing Mind Games

Sometimes your ex girlfriend is filled with a lot of negative energy and so in her own unique brand of passive aggressive behavior, she may unleash this resentment by playing some mind games with you.

She might contact you in some way to pull you close and tempt you or give you hope, then pull back.  This is an offshoot of what I call push/pull theory.  At times you may feel like you are in a constant confused state as to what she wants from you because of her hot and cold behavior.

For example, one day your ex girlfriend is telling you how much she hates you. Then the next day she comes on to you as her friend, giving you a glimmer of hope that this relationship debacle can be repaired.

Often, your ex girlfriend is just confused and is acting out with those confused feelings being the driver of her behavior.

To you it may come off as her playing mind games.  And perhaps our ex girlfriend is screwing around with your head. But just as often, she is unsure what she feels or what she should do, so she tries out different behaviors to see which one fits or feels right.

What Can You Do If Your Ex Girlfriend Keeps Contacting You Over and Over Again?

constant texting

It’s not a pretty site when your ex girlfriend blows up your phone.

So what do you do?

Do you dare reply, just asking her to stop blowing up your phone and to simply leave you alone.  It seems like a re seasonable approach until you start reading stories of guys who tried that approach.

I am sure you have read or heard about guys whose girlfriend wouldn’t leave them alone.   There are these stories of ex girlfriends pestering their boyfriends, nagging at them and insisting their entire life was coming to an end.  Indeed, some of the stories of crazy ex girlfriends that were not contacted can sound pretty disturbing.

And its true.  Some of them are disturbing, particularly if you are on the other end of a belligerent attack from an ex girlfriend who is insistent on making contact with you.  The tones of desperation can be upsetting to deal with as you get caught up in your ex girlfriend’s emotional world.

So what on earth do you do?

I would recommend 3 different ways you may want to manage this situation depending on the frequency, severity, and type of ex girlfriend you have.

1. Ignore Her and Continue With Your No Contact

So if your ex girlfriend is making a pest of herself, reaching out over and over again, it would be best to not give in to the temptation to text her back or answer the phone.

Trust me, in most cases, she is not in the right mind to talk with you. Chances are your head is messed up too.  Any communications you have with her when she is feeling desperate and emotional is not going to usually turn out well.

Just stay true to your pledge to not contact her.

2. Respond to Your Ex Girlfriend  By Requesting Her To Respect Your Need for Quiet Space

Another approach in handling that incoming text or phone call from your ex girlfriend is to promptly respond to it and in a very kind and respectful tone, let her know you need some quiet time for yourself.

Explain that the relationship meant a lot to you and you need time to process the breakup and heal and to please respect your need for some time and space.

Now you may be thinking, “what if she is reaching out to tell you that the whole breakup thing was a huge mistake and she wants to apologize?”

So it’s possible that is what is happening, but honestly, its very unlikely.  And even it was true that she feels this way, it could also be true that these set of feelings are not deep.  In other-words, she might at that moment feel this way, but could easily flip back to what she was feeling and telling you before.

So take some time.  You will both benefit and thoughts and feelings will become clearer.

3. Explore the Conversation in Small Steps

There may be some occasions when your ex girlfriend is trying to connect with you that it makes sense to explore it small bit sizes.

Let’s say you have implemented no contact and a few weeks have gone by.  Let’s also assume the history between you and your ex girlfriend has been relatively positive and that the relationship has some mileage on it.

Further, assume that you girlfriend has not taken up with another guy and from her previous efforts to contact you it is clear she regrets the breakup.

Given these factors, it would make sense to explore the connection.  But go it slow.  Start with texts, then move to phone calls, then schedule a casual meet up.

Indeed, if you are at this stage of the post breakup period, it would be advantageous for you to pick up my eBook, “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro” so you have a blueprint to get you through this process of coming back together.

 

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter