By Chris Seiter

Updated on November 17th, 2022

So, you want your ex girlfriend back.

That’s why you are here, right?

Well, in order for that to happen your ex girlfriend has to want to get back with you.

And as much as some men want to believe, no human has the ability to “mind control” another person into doing what they want.

So, in order for a reunion to happen with your ex girlfriend she has to agree to come back to you.

Thus, winning her back is a function of convincing her to re-enter a relationship with you.

What’s the best way to do that?

With regret!

The Definition Of Regret (Regarding Your Ex Girlfriend)

regret meme

Have you ever looked up the word “regret” before?

If you haven’t here is a quick look at it’s definition,

Regret- a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.

Regret is a very powerful emotion and if you can get your ex girlfriend to feel it when she thinks about you, you are going to be that much closer to getting her back.

Here’s how this typically works.

Your ex girlfriend decides one day that shes “had enough” and decides to break up with you.

You are devastated of course.

However, over time something really interesting begins to happen. Your ex girlfriend begins to show signs of regret for her role in breaking up with you. Eventually her regret runs so deep that she asks for another chance with you.

In the ultimate turn of events you are in the drivers seat on whether or not you want to take her back.

I created a nice little info-graphic depicting this “regret cycle” below,

cycle of regret

You may notice that in one of the circles I put a nifty little star.

Well, that star represents the area where this entire article can help you.

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How This Page Can Help You

This page is all about teaching you the lost art of making an ex girlfriend regret letting you go (or leaving you.)

The idea works like this.

Using the strategies I teach on this page you can slowly but surely raise your chances of making your ex girlfriend feel the kind of regret that makes her want to take you back.

Essentially you can “expedite” the process.

Now, I realize that this page may be a little advanced for some of my new readers so I have done my best to even things out so they are very easy to understand.

I have done this by dividing this page up into three main sections.

  1. Identifying Signs Of Regret In Your Ex Girlfriend
  2. How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Regret Letting You Go

Pretty simple, right?

Well, on the outside when you divide things up into three sections like that it makes things look pretty easy. However, the truth of the matter is that making your ex girlfriend regret leaving you is not an easy task.

In fact, I highly recommend you pick up my book. As it will go into much greater detail than I go into here about how to win your ex girlfriend back (and I am going to go into great detail in this article.)

Anyways, lets just get right down to business.

SECTION ONE – Identifying Signs Of Regret In Your Ex Girlfriend

Before I teach you anything about bringing out regret in your girlfriend you must first know what to look for to determine if what you are doing is working.

For example, if someone were to come up to you and tell you that the best way to diffuse a nuclear bomb is to cut the “blue wire” then you would already know that when the moment comes…

blue wire

You should be looking for a blue wire to cut.

The same principle applies here.

In order to know if what you are doing to your ex girlfriend to make her feel regret is working you first must know what to look for or if we stick to our nuclear bomb example, you have to know “which wire to cut.”

Below I have compiled a list of all the signs that a woman (who has regret about breaking up with her boyfriend) will have.

Now, before I go on I would like to recommend that you go ahead and bookmark this page because in order for this strategy to be effective you are going to constantly have to refer to the list below as a “check up.”

(Oh, and for the record that is the first time I have ever asked anyone to bookmark this page in the history of the site so if that doesn’t tell you how important this list is I don’t know what will.)

Anyways, lets take a look at what “sign 1” has to offer.

Regret Sign One- She Says It Through Her Actions


I want to teach you a fun little trick.

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What’s the trick?

How to figure out what someone really wants.

But before I get to that I would first like to submit a fake scenario to teach this fun little trick to you.

A girl has just broken up with a guy and she cites the following reason for the breakup,


Poor Jordan…

Anyways, lets fast forward three months into the future and all of a sudden the girl who broke up with Jordan is messaging him again but things are a bit different this time around,

play city

What the heck happened here?

I mean, one moment this girl is telling Jordan that the relationship is boring and that they would be better off dating other people and the next she is messaging him stuff like she “misses him” and she is bringing up really romantic dates.

Well, Jordan being the mature and smart man he is just shrugs this off as his ex girlfriend having a weak moment (it happens to us all.)

However, he is very shocked when his phone buzzes at work one day and he opens it up to find this message,

jordans ex

Good god this girl is forward.

What is really going on in her head?

Is this a “get back together” drink or is this just a friendly meet up drink where nothing happens?

Ah, the great questions of our time.

Would you like to know how you can determine what is really is going on in this situation?

Doing so will require the use of my “trick.”


Okie doke!

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What Is This “Trick?”

Have you ever heard the phrase,

“Actions speak louder than words?”

Well, it’s true.

They do.

I want you to take your ex girlfriends words out of the equation entirely.

What I want you to do is focus in on just her actions.

What someone says and what they do can sometimes be two completely different things.

Take the example of Jordan above.

Jordan’s ex told him that she wanted nothing to do with him. She told him that he was boring (or rather the relationship was) and that they should see other people. Yet after three months Jordan’s ex girlfriend’s actions aren’t in line with what she said in the past.

For example, Jordan and his ex going out on a date is a strong action stating that she does not think he’s boring and that she isn’t seeing other people.

If you really want to know what a woman is thinking in her head then ignore everything she says.

Rather look at the actions she takes.

That’s my little trick.

Ignore words and look at actions.

Now, I do want to bring this thing full circle so lets turn our attention back to regret.

If your ex girlfriend’s actions are consistent with someone who is regretting something,

  • She tells you she misses you a lot
  • She finds excuses to run into you
  • She is constantly messaging you and calling you
  • Oh, and my personal favorite, she constantly flirts with you

Then it’s a safe bet that she is regretting the breakup with you.

Remember, her actions mean everything.

Look at them.

Regret Sign Two- She Brings Up Past Memories In A Sad Way


Have you ever regretted something so much that you couldn’t get it out of your head?

Speaking personally I know I have.

I must admit that I have had a really great life (which is an accomplishment in and of itself.)

I had a great childhood.

I have surrounded myself with incredible people.

Oh, and I have a pretty wild job,

Screen Shot 2015-04-01 at 7.00.10 PM

However, I do have to say that as good as I have it in my life I do have one pretty big regret.

I am what you would call an introvert. While I am not super shy when you talk to me there are certain situations that make me uncomfortable.

For example, five years ago going out to crowded bars or clubs was definitely not my scene. More specifically, I was afraid of talking to not just women but anyone in general outside of people who I already knew.

So, when one of my friends would text me something like,


I would get so nervous about going out that I would always make up some excuse not to go.

I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I used,

“I am not feeling good”


“I already have plans”

to get out of putting myself into an uncomfortable situation.

It wasn’t until a few years down the road that I finally worked through my shyness and got the courage to go out more.

Of course, looking back in my infinite wisdom (I am not really that old I swear) I really do regret being so shy over something silly like what people would think about me. The truth of the matter is that I missed out on a lot of great experiences all because I was just too afraid to step out of my shell.

How does any of this relate to your ex girlfriend?

Good question!

Do me a favor and go back up to the top of this section and re-read my little introvert story again.

Do you see what I did with it?


Allow me to elaborate.

I told you a relatively long “in-depth” story about a regret I have about me being too shy. Now, when I told this story what kind of mood did you picture me in?

Was it a good mood?

A depressed mood?

A neutral mood?

How bout I just tell you.

I mean, this story is about me.

I was certainly not in a good mood to tell you about my regret. Oh, and I sure as hell wasn’t in a “neutral” mood either.

No, If I was being completely honest with you (and I am) I would say that I was more in a depressed mood looking back on the past.


Simple, I can’t go back in time and correct my shyness.

I can’t repair the friendships that were altered as a result of my insecurity about being around people.

I can’t do anything…

And I really do regret that fact.

Being depressed or sad about the past is a common theme among people who have regrets. If you just think about it logically no person who regrets something is going to be very upbeat or positive about that regret.

No, they are going to sad and depressed talking about it.

This brings us to your ex girlfriend.

Your Ex Girlfriend And Past Memories

Lets pretend that you and your ex girlfriend are four months removed from the breakup (she broke up with you.)

So, four months post breakup have brought some very new changes to your relationship.

The two of you don’t talk as often as you used to and you are both a little cold towards each other.

Now, nothing seems too out of the ordinary here as this behavior is very common for ex couples.

Where things start to get extraordinary is when your ex girlfriend sends you this text one day,


“What does it mean?” you think to yourself.

I’ll tell you what it means.

Your ex girlfriend is reminiscing about the old times and she is filled with sadness upon remember them.


Because the way she felt when she first met you was incredible and she hasn’t ever found that with anyone else since she has broken up with you.

Underlying this all is regret.

She regrets the fact the two of you went through a breakup.

She regrets that the feeling you once shared is gone.

She regrets breaking up with you.

If your ex girlfriend is sending you depressing or sad messages like the example above then there is a strong possibility that she is starting to regret breaking up with you.

Regret Sign Three- An Indirect Mention


An indirect mention of regret is a pretty easy concept to grasp.

Your ex girlfriend, who is super depressed about the breakup, decides to take her frustrations out in a woman’s favorite place to take her frustrations out.

Care to take a guess at where that is?

And no, it’s not any place sexual for those of you whose minds went there.

(Get out of the gutter please this is a PG – 13 guide not a rated R one.)

Facebook = A woman’s favorite place to vent

I am not really that “into” social media outside of my job but even I have a Facebook.

Would you like to know what happens every single time when I log on to Facebook?

I am greeted by some passive aggressive meme/picture/quote by a woman with the intent of saying something indirectly to the man in her life (or even ex lover.)

Just to prove that this phenomenon exists I am going to log on to Facebook right now and screenshot the first one that I see and post it here.

Oh, and to make things even funner I am going to time how long it takes me to find an indirect comment from a woman to a man.


Get set…


It took me 1 minute and 22 seconds before I stumbled across this,

Screen Shot 2015-04-01 at 8.00.05 PM

Now, you may have noticed that I have blacked out the person’s name who shared this lovely quote. I did that to protect her identity because I do know this person and I do have a lot of respect for her (but I couldn’t help but use this because it was just too perfect :p .)

Why am I so thrilled to use this?

Because it is this persons way of indirectly telling her boyfriend to get his ass into gear.

(And she does have a boyfriend.)

You will find that as you get to know women more and more that they will post little messages like this on Facebook to indirectly serve a message to you.

Now, this is not every woman in the world.

Sometimes a woman can stumble across a quote that she finds interesting and will just share it for that very reason but you better believe that if you are dating a woman and she posts something like this,

real men

Then you better believe that, that quote is meant for you in some way shape or form.

Maybe she is trying to say to the world that you aren’t a “real man” or maybe she is trying to tell the world that you are a “real men” and she will never have to worry about you making dumb decisions like cheating or anything like that.

Either way, the quote was still meant for you.

This is especially true when it comes to indirect messages about regret.

For example, if you were to log on to Facebook one day and stumble across this from your ex girlfriend,

regrets and mistakes

What the heck do you think is going on in her head?

Well, in my professional opinion I think that mere fact that she even mentioned regret is a good sign. I think she is starting to feel regret and is posting something on Facebook to convince herself that the regret she is feeling over the breakup is a good thing.

All we care about is if she is feeling regret and most likely if she is posting something like the picture above on her Facebook after a breakup she either thinks she made a mistake or is regretting something.

Regret Sign Four- She Tells You

told you so

Whenever I get stumped on what to write about for this site I go to the well.

And by well I mean my wife.

Well, I did that for this article as I couldn’t think of any more regret signs and I wanted to have a minimum of at least four.

“What kinds of things will someone exhibit if they regret something?”

Not even a second went by before she blurted out,

“They’d probably just tell you.”

The more I thought about it the more I began to realize how true that was.

If someone regrets something they usually tell you.

Look at me.

I told you one of my regrets above.

So, why should your ex girlfriend be any different?

Here’s the catch though, usually what will happen is that if your ex girlfriend were to tell you that she regretted breaking up with you it would be down the road a bit after the breakup.

Women need time to process things and sometimes they need other experiences to put their experience with you in perspective.

The GIGS (grass is greener syndrome) is a perfect example for this.

For example, if your ex girlfriend breaks up with you when you were basically the perfect boyfriend and she starts dating a guy who treats her like dirt she is going to start to regret her decision of breaking up with you.

Usually what happens in this case is that your ex girlfriend gets back in touch with you (while she is dating the scumbag boyfriend) and mentions to you that there are times when she is really happy with this new guy but then there are also times when she regrets her decision of leaving you.

Notice how in this example your ex girlfriend didn’t flat out tell you,

“I regret breaking up with you.”

No, she disguised it within the fact that there are times when she is happy with the new guy.

It takes a lot for a woman to come out and say,

“I miss you”


“I regret my role in our demise”

after a breakup.

So, instead of just being forward with you by telling you these things flat out she finds a way to structure them so they are socially acceptable.

If this happens to you.

If your ex girlfriend is doing this then make no mistake about it she regrets the breakup.

So, those are our four signs of an ex girlfriend regretting a breakup. Now that you know what to look for lets turn our attention on what you can do to really work to make her regret breaking up with you.

SECTION TWO- How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Regret The Breakup

regret page

You will notice that I have divided the “make your ex girlfriend regret the breakup” game plan up into four different sections.

  1. The No Contact Rule
  2. The Best Revenge In Life Is Success
  3. Leveraging The Good Times
  4. Creating New Good Times

Like always, I am going to go down the list, one by one, and give an in-depth explanation of what you need to be doing for each of these sections.

Lets start with section one, the no contact rule

Step One- Regret & The No Contact Rule


When you think of the actual act of “regretting” what has to happen for a human being to experience this feeling?

Well, ideally they have to miss someone or think to themselves,

“Man, I wish I could go back in time and change that.”

Of course, in addition to these thoughts enough time has to pass for them to experience regret.

Sure, there are cases where after a breakup occurs the person who broke up with the other person immediately regretted it but in my experience this is a rarity. Usually regret occurs down the road after some time has passed.

For example, lets say that you and your ex girlfriend have just broken up. Well, she isn’t going to regret her decision to break up with you until a few months have passed. Maybe she has gained some more life experience and looks back on your relationship with fond memories.

The main point I am getting at here is the fact that enough time has to pass for most women to feel regret.

This is where the no contact rule comes into play.

The no contact rule is the perfect compliment to regret because not only does it allow time to pass but it allows time to pass without an emotional crutch for your ex girlfriend to lean on.

What do I mean by an emotional crutch?

Some women take breakups pretty hard and as a result they look to their ex boyfriends for support on getting through the tough time (yes this occurs even if she broke up with you.)

If you take the emotional crutch they have in you out of the equation she is going to be left thinking,

“Maybe I took him for granted…”

This is a thought that you want her to have.

Oh, and then there is that added plus that the no contact rule forces time to go by so it can expedite her potential regret.

A Quick Crash Course Of The No Contact Rule

Some of the more tenured men reading this article are probably already aware of what the no contact rule is.

Of course, for those of you who are new to Ex Girlfriend Recovery don’t fret because I got your back on this.

The no contact rule is a period of time in which you ignore your ex in every way imaginable (except in certain instances) for a certain period of time.

Usually I recommend going into no contact for 21 days but there are also 30 day and 45 day rules that I have seen success with. Make sure you pick the rule that is best suited for your needs.

My book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO explains the no contact rule in a much more in-depth manner so check that out if you haven’t already.

Step Two- The Best Revenge In Life Is Success


Frank Sinatra said it best,

“The best revenge in life is massive success”

Heck, even Chuck Palahniuk, a famous novelist, said,

“The best revenge is happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fu**ing life.”

Makes you wonder if there is something to this “success/good life” thing, huh?

I want you to imagine something for me. Imagine that after your breakup with your ex girlfriend that you worked really hard and secured an amazing job that paid you a million dollars a year.

1 million

Then I want you to imagine that you got an amazing car.

Hmm… lets just go with a Ferrari,


Oh, now lets take things a step further and say that after the breakup with your ex girlfriend you had women crawling all over you 24/7.

women running

Most people would consider these things to be successful but it doesn’t matter what other people thing. What matters is what your ex girlfriend thinks.

Remember, we are trying to get her to regret the breakup.

So, what do you think is going on inside of her head after your new found success?

While I can’t predict with 100% accuracy what she is going to think I do know one thought that is likely to creep up in her mind.

“Wow, he is completely different than when I was with him. When I was with him he couldn’t even hold down a job and he didn’t even have a car. Maybe I made a mistake…”

Five words…

All it takes are five words from your ex girlfriend for her to be on a path of regret.

“Maybe I made a mistake”

If you can get your ex girlfriend to say these five words you are doing something right and it will be that much easier to get her back.

Of course, before I move on I would like to talk a little bit about success.

The main point of this entire section is to show you what striving for success can do for you.

Look, if you live and die by this credo,

“The best revenge in life is massive success”

and every single action you take is to be considered more of a success you are going to increase your chances of your ex girlfriend feeling regret tenfold.


Lets move on to another thing you can do to make your ex girlfriend regret breaking up with you.

Step Three- Leveraging The Good Times

good time

In all relationships there are good times and there are bad times.

Well, when you look at things with the mindset of “I want to make my girlfriend regret this breakup” the bad times aren’t going to do too much for you.

So, instead of dwelling on past memories with your ex focus on the positive ones.

Now, if you are wondering what the best way to get back in touch with her is I highly recommend checking out my book,

Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO

There you can find a step by step layout of what you need to be doing to really have a chance of winning her back. It will also teach you how to slowly build attraction when texting her. Eventually you will advance to a point where you can bring up good memories and really work to create some of that regret within here.

(That is what this section is about.)

So, just to reiterate.

If you are trying to get your ex girlfriend back (which most of you reading this are) you can’t just contact her out of the blue with the memories I talk about here.

No, you have to follow the game plan I lay out first to advance to a point where you can bring this stuff up.

In other words, what I am about to talk about is a bit involved.

Create Your List Of Good Memories

I can’t tell you how many times I have peddled this tactic on this website.

Actually I probably can but I am too lazy to go back and link to all the instance :p .

(Hey, I am allowed to be lazy sometimes.)

If you really want to increase your chances of creating regret within your ex girlfriend it would be incredibly smart to write down a list of the top 5 or 10 memories that you have with your ex girlfriend.

These memories should NOT be sexual in nature so what I am looking for here isn’t that one time you had a “quickie” in her parents bed.

Here, I will give you a proper example of a good memory using my wife and I.


Lets see here…

Oh, I know!

The trip to Paris we took is a great example of a good memory.

(For those of you who are doubting that I took my wife to Paris take this)

paris trip

This kind of memory is great because it brings up all kinds of incredible feelings.

This is the kind of memory that is perfect for creating regret.

For example, lets pretend that instead of my wife and I going to Paris your ex girlfriend and you ended up going to Paris.

You thought I was going to pretend let you go with my wife to Paris, huh?

Pshh… In your dreams.

Anyways, you and your ex girlfriend went to Paris.

That is a memory that she is never going to forget.

Oh, and it’s a memory that she is going to cherish.

But how can you use it to bring out regret within her?

Good question.

Lets say that you text your ex girlfriend something like this,


How can a text message like this bring out regret?

Let’s dissect it from a woman’s point of view and find out.

“I just heard them talking on the TV about Paris.”

This part of the text serves one purpose. It reminds her of the time that the two of you went to Paris. Pretty simple so far, right? Well, things are about to get spiced up.

“It reminds me of the time we went there and saw the Eifel Tower light up at night.”

Notice how specific this was.

Notice the details.

Your ex girlfriend is going to read this and immediately be transported to the night that you were sitting on a blanket, sipping on wine and watching the Eifel Tower light up like crazy.

eifel tower

“Do you remember that?”

This serves as re-enforcement to make your ex remember that amazing night.

So, why is this so effective at creating regret within your ex girlfriend?

Simple, that brief moment where she was transported back in time to that moment is going to make her think,

“Wow, that was an incredible night. I miss that.”

The more and more she dwells on that memory she is going to miss it. The more she misses it the more chance she will have of regretting the breakup. Remember, her missing you is very close to her regretting the breakup.

Now, imagine if you were to constantly paint her mind with powerful memories like this?

You’d have quite the effect wouldn’t you?

But here is the best part, that’s only half the battle.

Step Four- Creating New Good Times

new roman

While you are strategically battering your ex girlfriends mind with powerful memories you should also be working to create new memories on that same level.

What do I mean by this?

Take her on dates…

But not just any dates.


I am talking about the kind of dates that when she goes home at the end of the night she calls her friends up and brags to them.

What’s the best way to accomplish this?

Ask her a simple question.

“What is something you have always wanted to do but you have never done?”

When she gives you an answer make her dream into a reality.

So, lets pretend that you ask her this question and she tells you something like skydiving.

Ok, first off skydiving is kind of a weird dream to have but we can work with that.

I want you to plan an incredible date that culminates in her achieving her dream of skydiving.

Why is it so important that you be the one to help her achieve this dream?

Good question.

For the rest of her life she is going to associate you with that dream. So, instead of being just her ex boyfriend you are going to be the guy that made her dream come true and in my book that is a step up from “just an ex boyfriend.”

Remember, this is a two fold attacking (leveraging existing memories and creating new ones.)

If you do this right you will substantially increase your chances of making her regret her decision to break up with you.

My last piece of advice…

Be careful skydiving.


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