By EBR Team Member: Ashley

Updated on July 15th, 2022

If a few days or weeks have passed since your breakup with your ex-girlfriend then you are most likely starting to question if she is missing you. You may have noticed some unusual behavior from her lately and are wondering if she has moved on and is happy without you.

This article is going to teach you the following useful information to help you establish if your exgirlfriend misses you:

  1. Recognizing how she feels right now.
  2. Signs an ex-girlfriend is missing you.
  3. How to make her miss you more.

Speaking from experience, every single woman will miss her ex to some degree after a breakup. Even if she broke up with you or is seeing someone else, I can guarantee that you still cross her mind and she still checks your Facebook regularly.

Just because you see your ex moving on, doesn’t mean she wants you to move on too. Your ex doesn’t want you moving on faster than she does as it would indicate that she meant very little to you. Your ex-girlfriend’s desire for you to still miss her, means she is still invested in the idea of you on some level and that you have a chance of getting back together.

The length of time a woman is likely to miss you after a breakup is based on three criteria.

How long you were together.

  1. Who initiated the breakup.
  2. When the breakup occurred.
  3. How long you were together

When we look at these three criteria I’m sure you will understand that if your relationship was very brief, then your ex will miss you less than if you were together several years.
The longer you are together the more intertwined your lives become. This makes a breakup much more difficult than if you had just met, this is especially true in situations where children or shared living are involved.

If your relationship lasted years or maybe if you were married, then your ex will take a very long time to move on from you. On our sister site, Ex-Boyfriend Recovery we have many women who come to us seeking help, still feeling a sense of loss and nostalgia for their ex’s even after 12 months of a breakup.

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Did You Initiate The Breakup With Your Ex Girlfriend or Did She?

The next criteria on the list relates to who initiated the breakup, generally speaking the person who initiates the breakup tends to miss the other person less. The only exception to this rule tends to be where the receiver was found to be cheating on their partner and this was the cause of the breakup.

The reason the person initiated a breakup tends to miss the other less is due to the fact that they have considered the breakup for some time. Usually a woman will consider a breakup for at least a month or so before actually going through with it.

The other reason they tend to miss you less, is due to the fact that they felt dissatisfied in someway with the relationship; hence the breakup.

The final reason that explains why the initiator misses the partner less is that they may have broken up with you due to work, school or family commitments. If this is the case then it is likely that those commitments are acting as a distraction for your ex and therefore helping them miss you less.

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How Long Has It Been Since the Breakup?

On average couples who breakup will miss each other for around 66 days before completely moving on. Obviously every situation is unique and the criteria above will give you an insight as to whether your ex is likely to miss you more or less than that.

The recovery process is exactly the same thing people experience when grieving a death and is illustrated below, the diagram shows the roller coaster of feelings all people experience and in what order after a breakup.

This 66 day mark is precisely the reason the ExGirlfriend Recovery program suggests a No Contact period of between 21-45 days, any longer than this and there is a risk that your ex will completely move on from you during that time. For normal breakups your ex-girlfriend’s feelings of regret following the breakup reach their peak between 21-30 days; this is precisely the reason why we recommend that you begin to reach out to your ex at that point.

For those of you who have come to the program long after a breakup then you can still use the principles outlined in ExGirlfriend Recovery Pro to re-attract your ex even after she has moved on after the breakup. The situation is not unsalvageable if your ex-girlfriend no longer misses you, it just means that you no longer have the advantage over other men….. you are on a level playing field.

How Long Were You Together?

This is just a common sense question. The truth is that women get attached more easily than men in most cases. And the longer a relationship lasts the more energy the people involved have invested.

Basically, if you two were together for a few weeks, it will be easier for her to move on that it would be if you were together for a few years.

10 Signs or Clues Your Ex Girlfriend Misses You

You can bet you ex girlfriend is going to be flashing some signs that will reveal that she actually misses you a lot more than you would imagine.  Some of these signs maybe subtle, while others could be more obvious. But how will you know what to look for unless you are able into the female brain.  Well look you, I can help you out with that because Chris has asked me to write about this topic.

So let’s get started.  Here are 10 clues that might just give you some insight into what your ex girlfriend is really up to and what it really means.

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1. She is Talking About You

If your ex-girlfriend is still talking about you to friends or family then that is a good sign you are still on her mind. In fact even negative conversations she might be having are still a relatively good sign, you see the opposite of love is not hate….. it is indifference.

If your girlfriend is speaking fondly about you to friends then this is a very positive sign that she is missing you.

2. She is Watching You

If you regularly have to see your ex at work, school or even at church you may notice her frequently looking in your direction. When you witness this take it as a sign that you are on your ex’s mind.

Now there are two ways your ex can look at you:

The “I am so sad” face.

The “I wish you would go away” face.

Now the first one means your ex is experiencing some regret for breaking up with you.

The second clearly isn’t quite as good news as she is still feeling very negative towards you but like I said earlier, raging hate isn’t a bad sign….. on the contrary, it shows they are still OBSESSED with you!

3. She is Changing Her Appearance

If you have noticed your exgirlfriend rapidly losing weight or dressing nicer since your breakup, then this again could be another sign she is missing you. You might also see that your ex looks more exhausted lately, this is likely caused by a lack of sleep since the breakup.

Stress induced weight loss or insomnia is incredibly common after a breakup and is a clear sign that your ex is struggling without you.

4. She is Rebound Dating

If your ex-girlfriend has started using dating sites or has started dating someone new in the first eight weeks after a breakup then this is most likely a rebound.

A rebound boyfriend is way for your ex to feel temporarily better by avoiding dealing with the heartache she is feeling.

The reason we say a rebound occurs during the first 8 weeks relates back to the fact that a person starts to move on from a breakup after 66 days.

5. Your Ex Girlfriend Has Become a Party Girl

Has your ex turned into a party-girl? If you have noticed her acting out of character and suddenly going out and getting drunk all the time, then this is a sign she is not handling the breakup very well.

Your ex-girlfriend could be using partying as a way to fill the void she feels now you are gone. Partying helps her to feel popular even if she is around strangers as the alcohol helps to numb her feelings.

6. Your Ex is Exhibiting Hot and Cold Behavior

Repeated hot and cold behavior is a very good indication of your ex missing you.

When you experience hot and cold responses from your ex, it means that she is fighting with her heart’s desire to speak with you and her brains logic telling her to avoid you.

If your ex is displaying signs of hot and cold behavior towards you then that is a good sign she is starting to come around.

7. You are Getting These Odd Texts or Phone Calls From Your Ex Girlfriend

When your ex-girlfriend texts or calls you it can only mean one thing; that they want to talk to you!

Sometimes these messages are out of the blue.  She might be probing.  You might wonder, what does this mean”

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Whether it is something mundane like “how are you” or something less pleasant like “Why did you make me do this!”, both are signs your ex is thinking of you and is missing you.

There are different types of calls and texts that you may receive from your ex

8. Sometimes your Ex Drunk texts or drunk dials You

“Accidental” texts- these are never accidental

Friendly texts or calls

Angry texts

Asking for advice

Asking for her stuff back even if it is not valuable (shampoo, toothbrush, etc)

All of these should be interpreted as your ex-girlfriend trying to re-establish contact with you. Remember that it takes effort to send a text to someone, effort your ex doesn’t have to make after the breakup. Think about the value of that tube of toothpaste she wants back…. Your ex can afford toothpaste, the reason she is asking for it is an excuse to reach out and see you.
Receiving any of the texts above should be viewed as positive signs, although you should be cautious if your ex contacts you out of anger as she will need to calm down before she is receptive to speaking with you.

9. She is Hanging Out Where You Do

If your ex-girlfriend starts hanging out at places you would normally go but she has never been interested in going to before, then this is an indication that she is going specifically to see you.

I’ve seen so many stories of ex-girlfriends trying to “accidentally text” or “accidentally bump into” their ex that I can assure you if this is happening…. Then it is not an accident. If your ex-girlfriend is engineering ways to see you then this is an attempt to replicate a movie style romantic unplanned meetup and is definitely a positive sign that she is missing you.

10. Your Ex Girlfriend is Showing Subtle or Not so Subtle Signs She is Jealous

If your ex is showing signs of jealousy towards your new friends or dating life, take this as a top indicator for missing you. Your ex-girlfriend is going to experience jealousy as she thinks someone else is taking a man that belongs to her….. yes, she still thinks of you as her’s even after the breakup!

When this happens, you can see she secretly isn’t over you yet and is still missing you.

How to Make Her Miss You More

In the book Ex-Girlfriend Recovery PRO we explore lots of ways to help make your ex miss you and help you win her back. Today I am going to give you a little snippet of the information we cover so you can start applying the techniques today.

Use The No-Contact Rule to Help Both Her and Yourself

The first tool you should use when making your ex miss you is the No-Contact rule and it is the initial step of our program.

The no-contact period is an allotted length of time where you cut your ex-girlfriend out of your life on purpose. Within the Ex-Girlfriend Recovery program, we recommend a no contact period of between 21 and 45 days depending on your circumstances.

  • 21 days: a general or “mutual” breakup with no begging afterwards.
  • 30 days: a difficult breakup with some begging with your ex.
  • 45 days: a breakup caused by cheating or circumstances involving incessant begging.

Undertaking a no-contact period with your ex-girlfriend is going to give her time to miss you. When you think about it, it makes sense… you only miss people when they’re not around!
The no-contact period also has some other great benefits as it gives you time to regroup after the break-up and reorient yourself. The other great benefit of the no-contact period is that it gives you time to improve yourself and we are going to talk about that next.

Be an Alpha Male and Let Her Notice

During your no-contact period you are going to work on improving yourself so as you can win your ex back. This self-improvement is going to turn you into the Alpha Male, the coolest, hottest, most successful, in demand Brad Pitt type guy in town.

To do this you are going to focus on three key areas:

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  • Looking good
  • Getting a rich
  • Social life

Explaining why you need to become the alpha male is easy…

Have you ever had a car that was the greatest thing ever?

You loved it so much, you probably kept it a long time, but then slowly it just deteriorated… the brakes went, it started to rust, the engine blew, finally the air conditioner broke and you couldn’t take anymore and had to get rid of it.

That car is exactly like you and your ex-girlfriend.

Now picture the moment you see that old car driving around town… it feels nostalgic right?

You miss it a little bit, suddenly you remember all its flaws and the thought quickly vanishes from your mind. This is exactly how your ex feels when she sees or hears about your during no-contact.

Well imagine you saw your car around town and it had transformed into something better than when you first bought it.

What if someone had completely restored it, given it a custom paintjob, put cool new alloy wheels on it and installed the coolest gadgets inside?

Suddenly you don’t just miss your car, you would chase them down the road with a huge bag of cash to get it back.

By upgrading yourself to become the Alpha Male you are going to have your ex-girlfriend not only feeling jealous but chasing after you wanting to take you back.

Looking Good

When you are working on looking good, you should work on improving your body, getting a shave and haircut, invest in some new clothes and clear up any acne if that is a problem you suffer from. Improving your looks is a no-brainer, as it is going to get not just our ex-girlfriends attention but also the attention of other women, and all whilst boosting your confidence.

Leveraging Your Social Life – She Will Notice

The last area of self-improvement is that of your social life and that is going to fall into two categories.

  1. Friends
  2. Girls

The first category is friends. As part of your transition towards becoming the Alpha Male you need to work on expanding and enhancing your social circle…. Because every wolf needs a pack to lead!

Spend some time catching up with friends you haven’t seen in a while and try and go out and meet new people.

Joining a sports team is an easy way to get a readymade social life with very little effort but there are plenty of other ways to increase the number of friends you have. Making new friends is a great way to get your ex’s attention and make her wonder how you are suddenly meeting so many new people and naturally she will worry if any of those are girls.

The next category I want you to work on as part of expanding your social life is that of dating girls. Now I know you want your ex back, but right now you don’t have her yet so you need to keep moving forward with your life until the situation changes. A great way to do this is by dating new women, this will give you some confidence back and also lift your spirits after the breakup.

The best part about dating other women is that it awakens some feelings of jealousy in your ex-girlfriend when she finds out you are seeing new girls. Using subtle and indirect jealousy through social media is an excellent way to supercharge your ex’s desire to take you back. When your ex-girlfriend sees you dating lots of other women she will start to wonder if she made a mistake breaking up with you as other women perceive you as a great catch.

Be Wise in Your Use of Social Media – Your Ex Girlfriend is Probably Checking Up You

The last part of your efforts to make your ex miss you is to exploit your social media. After a breakup it is reported that 9 out of 10 people stalk their ex’s online.

How crazy is it to think that 90% of your ex-girlfriends have regularly checked your Facebook after a breakup!

Here is the interesting part, the more an ex snoops, the longer it will take her to get over you! This is because love is an addiction and checking your social media gives her another hit of the “love drug” therefore making it harder for her to move on.

If you use social media effectively it is a fantastic way to highlight to your ex-girlfriend all the improvements you are making on your journey to become the Alpha Male. It’s a way to show her how great you look, how rich and successful you have become, and how many women want you.

If you can get your female friends giving you likes or comments then this will drive your ex insane with feelings of jealousy. There is nothing that makes an ex-girlfriend more jealous than seeing another woman speaking to her man so make sure you get plenty of female admirers. I have learnt from our other site, Ex-Boyfriend Recovery that women carefully track the total number of female friends you have, and monitor the names and social media profiles of any new female friends you might have to understand if you are seeing someone new…believe me all women do this!

What Now?

Hopefully this article has given you some insight to identify if your ex is missing you. It is fair to say that unless it has been a very long time since your breakup that your ex is still thinking about you and checking up on you either directly or indirectly.

The second half of our article focused on ways that you can increase how much your ex-girlfriend misses you. By employing the no contact rule, transforming into an Alpha Male and using social media as an advertising mechanism for your progress, you can make her miss you even more and reach your ultimate goal of winning her back!


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