How To Know If Your Ex Girlfriend Is Still In Love With You

Does your ex girlfriend still love you?

It’s probably a thought that plagues you everyday since the break up.  It doesn’t matter whether you triggered the break-up or she just got fed up with you.

You are plagued with this same thought, over and over again in all its permutations.

You wonder:

Does she still care deeply about me?”

“Am I still on my ex-girlfriend’s mind?”

“Will my ex take me back…. does she even want me back?”

“Have her feelings about me changed…. is she still fond of me?”

It’s all you can think about.

And sometimes you might even feel a bit desperate about your situation.

The fact that your ex is missing from your life has you confused and conflicted.

Like most guys, you are probably reaching for even the smallest of signs that she still loves you.

You are willing to grasp any possibility that your former girlfriend is even mildly in love with you.

So you say to yourself, “I have to know if I have a chance”.  

You are willing to accept any form of love from your ex-girlfriend, just as long as you still have a chance to win her back.

You may be filled with thoughts about what you did wrong.

Maybe the two of your broke it off because of a mutual decision.

Though, in all my time in dealing with the ex break-up pattern, the reason why the two of your are no longer together is not likely due to a mutually arrived at decision.

Yea, I don’t see that very much.  Sure, it sounds nice, but in reality, it seldom really ever happens that way.

No, it is usually something she did or you did.

Maybe she cheated on you, but now you are mostly over it and are wondering if the love between you and your ex girlfriend is still in play.

Maybe you cheated on her, in which case you have finally come to your senses realizing that you screwed up royally.

But whatever happen, one huge question remains, doesn’t it?

Will she have you back?

Is there still any type of bond remaining between the two of you?

Now, you are probably pretty sure you love her.

Does My Ex Girlfriend Still Really Love Me or is She Faking?

does my woman still have the hots for me

It is too bad we cannot identify every single sign that points to your ex girlfriend wanting you back for real, isn’t it. I mean all you want to know is if she still has the hots for you.  Romance can be a fickle thing particularly when you are wresting with the emotions of an ex gf.

Because if we could conjure up such information, then you would be wise to her ways. You would know whether she is just throwing you a head fake, perhaps trying to fool you into thinking she still has feelings for you. Maybe her assertions that she still loves you is part of a larger, more devious plan she has in store for you.  Maybe she says you are that most special guy in her life, but maybe that is all talk.  Perhaps she is confused and just goes to her default response when asked or cornered.  The possibilities are endless, aren’t they?

Few woman out there are going to give up all their secret feelings.  This is particularly case if they are confused or were hurt in some way.  If you are the guy that did the hurting, you best not put too much stock on anything she is saying to you for awhile.

You see, while there are some signals women give off that can give them away as to their romantic interests, it it awful hard to take that brief list and generalize across the population of women.  And it is even more difficult still to expect to decipher or decode what your ex girlfriend is truly thinking about you and love, and the breakup, and prospects for putting all the pieces back together again.

But still it is a fair thing to ask and want to know.  So I got you covered.  A little further down in the post, I will provide you with 10 Signs That You Ex Girlfriend Still Loves You and Wants You.

Are You Really Looking For a Solution!

Over the course of this article, let’s just think of ourselves as detectives.  I will be your lead detective flushing out the truths about women and love and breakup.  You can be the junior detective trying to take what I share and apply it to your individual situation.

So does your ex girlfriend perhaps have something else in mind when she is using all the amorous and loving words with you?

Is she possibly faking her desire to be with you again for some ulterior motive.

I wish is was so easy to identify and understand all the telltale signs an ex girlfriend is truly still interested in you. I wish I could give you a survey or checklist that you complete allowing you to arrive at useful conclusions, no matter how startling they may be, yet still be assured you are right on the mark.

Sorry my man, there is no such thing.  You ex girlfriend may very well be a very fickle creature and unless you have a lot of history with her over a long period of time, you can’t be certain how she is processing everything right now.  So be careful about putting too much stock in the things she says.

I mean, how can you really know if your ex girlfriend still loves you?

After all, she broke up with you (assuming that is what happened).  Or maybe you did the dumping and you now realize you acted to fast, with haste, but now she is making overtures that she will give you another chance.  That you are not the foolish and hateful guy she earlier accused you of being.

Maybe there are some secret signs your ex girlfriend still loves you and know one but the guy who wants to charge you $500 can give you the answer.

Well, if that is the predicament you are in, forget the so called expert and keep reading on.

A lot of guys reach out to me in search of whether their woman is over them.  They want to know if their ex might still possibly have feelings for them, even after the guy said the most horrible things.

Let me give you a sampling of some of the comments and questions I get everyday.

So I have been thinking, when is it that you really know when your ex girlfriend is for real about all the nice stuff she is now saying about you. Is it when she says she still adores you and you are the best thing that ever happened to her?  She said all this stuff but then she broke up with me, so how can I know she is worth trusting again now when she keeps insisting I am the one she wants. Maybe she is just lonely.  Like really, is she going to be reliable?  Does my ex girlfriend really want me back or is she just playing games with my mind? – Jason

I don’t know if I want to get back together again with my ex.  She keeps saying all these things about trying again and that her love is so great for me. But can a guy really know if his woman still loves him after a breakup?  It was sort of mutual, this breakup of ours, and I am thinking she is being a little desperate. – Peter

Look Chris, I don’t know if you can help me but my ex girlfriend is a really tough nut to crack.  Yeah, she is a bit nutty too if you were thinking that.  After we went our separate ways, she was royally pissed.  It was like a hate fest.  I got calls and hang ups and my friends were telling me she was calling them telling them how I treated her like crap and was not worthy to be with her.  It was a messy couple of weeks for us.  I just kept my mouth shut. I didn’t really want the breakup.  She pushed for it after a big fight we had.  Now she is coming around and checking up on me, leaving me messages about events moved too fast for us.  It’s like a compete reversal.  She takes every opportunity to tell me she loves me, but after what happened when we split up, I got to wonder.  What’s going on with her now that she seems obsessed with pouring all kinds of attention on me? – Robert

Well, as you can see from some of those comments, the mind of a woman is not always going to be easy to predict. When emotions are flying around, you can be assured that the near term future is going to be hectic.  Your girlfriend may go from being completely freaked out about what went down, even accusing you of some of the most awful things, to a place where you can barely recognize her because she is so nice to you.

It is true that passions have a way of turning in reverse and accelerating in the complete opposite direction.

If the love between you and your ex was for real and has staying power, then it should not be shocking to see wide swings in her emotional reactions.  Whatever went down to cause the two of you to stop seeing each other, be assured that if those loving vibes you are getting from her are real, it will be hard for her to mask or pretend it is not so.

But I am Still So Confused About Whether This is True Love?

But for your love to be “complete”, you know in your mind and heart that she needs to love you back.

But how can you really know if what she says, constitutes true love or love that has staying power?

So does she still have that very special passion just for you?  Do your relationship with her really even have a chance to succeed over the long term?

Can you trust that these loving signals you are now picking up from her represent her deepest and most truthful feelings?

Perhaps she has been the most amazing creature you have ever laid your eyes on and you cannot imagine a future without her in your life.

But you can’t get it out of your mind that she has told you she loved you in the past, only to break up with you.

Or possibly you did the deed causing her to strike back, dragging you through the coals to exact some revenge.  So how can you believe her now after what you did to her and what she did back to you to get even?

Certainly, you think, “she must still have a very special feeling for me”.

On most days, you believe that your sweetheart could not have just given up on the relationship, despite all of the problems you and her were having.

All of those memorable, intense feelings and experiences had to count for something you figure.

But there are other days where you fear that your ex-girlfriend is slipping away.  The woman who use to adore you, now wants nothing to do with you.

And if that is true, you wonder what you can do to get her back and actually say those three special words and truly mean it.

For many guys out there who have lost their girlfriend, it is not just simply a matter of waiting a few days for it all to come back together.

Indeed, you probably have already figured out that this business of winning back your lover’s affection is shrouded in all kind of mystery and it’s going to take a pretty sophisticated plan to win her back.

The Magic of Love

magic

Now we are getting into the magic of what love is all about aren’t we!

I mean really, where did the love between the two of you originate?

Did it just come to be?

Was there something specific that sparked that powerful feeling of attraction and devotion?

If it doesn’t start with some kind of spark that you can reproduce, then how does it really take shape?

Ahh, now were are getting into the “science of love” aren’t we.

And by the way, if we are going to walk down that path, why not find out as much as we can.

What you really need to know is what your ex girlfriend might say or do to demonstrate that they still are very much in love with you.

This is really some heady stuff.  I mean, sometimes things as important as this are not so clear, particularly now since both of your emotions are all jumbled up.

Is it possible that her love for you is lost?

If so, how do you help her find it again.

What can you do to regain those very special feelings and get the dying embers of love all fired up again.

Well, while this is indeed a complicated subject, I have wonderful news for you.

There is hope out there for those whose exes profess they no longer love their boyfriends.

What is Love

what is love

Do you remember that old Saturday Night skit in which these two slick looking guys that would go to a bar looking to pick up women?

The song that played in the background was “What is Love” by Haddaway.

Of course, these guys were “losers” in every sense of word.  But is was fun watching them fall flat on their face as they would repeatedly try to turn up their macho personas to attract women.

Yep… I can hear the lyrics now…

What is love?

Baby, don’t hurt me

Don’t hurt me no more

If you follow the lyrics of the song further down the track you come across the line:

“what is wrong” and “give me a sign”.

So what is wrong you ask yourself?

Well, there is plenty wrong.

For starters, something went down between you and your ex girlfriend and now you are outside her circle of trust.

circle of trust

 

You are left wondering if she still has those very special loving feelings for you.

(FYI, if you want to learn how you can make your ex girlfriend fall in love with you I recommend reading this guide.)

The Love Doctor

doctor

 

The science of human behavior speaks to us on this topic and my advice is don’t give up the ship.

I turns out that love is a very “sticky” kind of thing.

Let’s turn our attention to what love isn’t.

It isn’t something you can summon up with some nice words.

It is not something you can dress up for and seduce, hoping to capture its essence.

You cannot command it from your ex-girlfriend.

Nor can you demand that she supply you with unconditional love.

You stand a better chance of howling at the wind and turning into a werewolf.

Love is one of those phenomenons of human existence that defies perfect definition.  If you think you fully understand it, then walk back to the end of the line because you have already failed the test.

The way I look at this deepest of human emotions is that it is multi faceted and operates on many variables.  Just doing a few thing does not bring the emotional bond into existence.

We can set the stage and seek to invite a person to the production, but much like “theater”, what really creates a lasting impression is highly subjective.

Trying to break down all of the variables in a logical manner, often leaves a person completely befuddled.

Love is not a commodity.

You can’t buy it or sell it.

You cannot force it into existence.

It is completely free. The harder you try to bring it into existence, the more elusive it becomes.

Chase after it, you seldom catch it.

But you can abruptly turn around and completely fall deeply and madly in love.

Hopefully, you are not depressed after reading all of this.

Indeed, the forces that influence loving feelings between you and your ex-girlfriend are in your favor.

So what do I mean by that?

Well, it is simple.  Once love is brought firmly into existence, it is hard to rub out.

Think about all of those times you spent with your ex girlfriend.  Think about all of those amazing experiences you shared with each other.  All of these episodes in your life starring you and your Ex usually add up to be powerful bonding experiences.

If you truly were in love with each other, then the force necessary to permanently pull you away from each other will need to be as powerful as the force that brought you together.

No doubt, the two of you are going through some really tough times right now.  I mean after all, you and your Ex have  “officially” gone through a breakup.

She may be telling you she wants nothing to do with you.  She may be telling you she hates you.  Hopefully you did not stoop so far to tell her the same thing.

The Gravity of Your Ex Girlfriend’s Love For You

gravity

 

The way I look at it, love, once it is formed between the two of you, acts like a force that pulls you together.

Breaking up that force is no easy task.

Yes, you can break up with a person.

You can get separated or divorced.

You can call each other names until you have exhausted the vocabulary.

But, that invisible force that acts upon the two of you is undeniable powerful.

Kind of like the force in Star Wars…

force

 

Ok…. you guys pretty much know I am a big movie buff, right?

What I find interesting about movies are the great action and adventure scenes or the cool science fiction scenarios.

I also like that every once in awhile a great movie will come along and not only entertain, but also teach something meaningful about life.

Sometimes you are introduced to an interesting and novel character.

Take Yoda, for example.

Now, I really love that little funny looking guy.

He was always full of clever little phrases.

And he offered up a few that might just help you.

If you were listening carefully,  you would have noticed Yoda speaks about this invisible force I described a bit earlier.

Do you remember the one I was talking about?

It’s that force that keeps you and your ex-girlfriend bonded closely together.

Some people call this force, “love”.

Well, I am just a simple minded guy here.  Maybe this invisible, attractive force is “love”.  Or maybe it is a product of that which we call “love”.  In other words, it comes into existence because of the loving feelings between you and your girlfriend.

I am really not sure which way it works.  And frankly, for purposes of this article, I don’t care.  I just want you to understand that there are powerful things at play, often beyond your full control.

Yoda describes this force that can act upon two people and it is indeed powerful.  He says:

yoda quote

You should know that escaping from this force is not easy.

If your ex-girlfriend truly loved you, then you have a big ally in the Force….. this bond that connected each of you to the other.

Now, Yoda is not the only one to speak about the Force.

Some people named Newton and Einstein have weighed in with their scientific thinking.

newton & Einstein

It turns out that when you take two heavenly bodies with mass, a gravitational attraction force is created.

Indeed, this force only exists because of the two bodies that are in close proximity to each other.

Attraction emerges.

The closer the bodies are to each other, the greater the Force.

Geez, are we talking about the science of gravity or human attraction?  You tell me!

I submit to you, that you have a lover’s trump card in your possession.

Those feelings of attraction and love that have grown over time between you and your ex-girlfriend have created a very special bond.

This bond is not easily broken.

Can the bond or force be severed?

Yep.

But we are going to talk about the things that will enable and support this bond that exists between the two of you.

Your job is to steer away from the things that qualify as “Force busters” or “Bond busters”

Can your ex girlfriend just simply ignore all of the good things that happened between the two of you, which led her “falling in love” with you?  No easily.

What can you do to get the relationship back on track?  Well, have you check out my e-book, “Ex-Girlfriend Recovery Pro” yet?  That would be a great start!

What Would You Do With...
A Proven System That Allowed You to Attract Any Woman You Wanted (Including Your Ex).
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But I do have a few ideas I want to shoot your way in just a moment.

But let’s talk a bit about the signs of love.

After all, despite all these fine words I have just written, you may still need additional convincing that your Ex still loves you.

What might that look like?

Well, let’s see.

Your Ex-Girlfriend’s Signs of Love

There was a classic book written years ago, called “1984”.

1984

It introduced us to what is called an “Orwellian” world.

In this world, many concepts are the opposite of what they really mean.

Black is actually white.

Good is really evil.

And everything you do or say is constantly being monitored.

Hey, it kind of sounds like that movie V for Vendetta!

v for vendetta

Sounds familiar?

Yes?

No?

Maybe?

Well welcome to my world of dispensing of relationship advice.

In my world, you advise people to institute the “No Contact Rule” so that eventually the person’s ex WILL contact them.

When you are trying to figure out if you ex-girlfriend still cares about you deeply, you need to apply both the traditional real world tests to evaluate if love still exists; and you need to utilize Orwellian world logic to figure out if your Ex still has the hots for you.

So what the heck does all this mean?

Let’s try some examples.

In the traditional world you can impose certain logical tests.

If you read the signs correctly, then things are looking up.

In the traditional world of relationships, signs of love would include:

  • Everything you say seems perfect to her.  She loves the way you look, dress, and talk.
  • She holds that gaze ever so long.  She reaches out with her hand first and squeezes tight
  • She agrees with essentially everything you say and is extremely supportive
  • You girlfriend is not just focused on sex, but it is clear she want to be by your side.  The emotionally connection is powerful
  • You Ex agrees that she wants nothing more than to have an exclusive relationship with YOU.
  • There are times where your girlfriend acts like she is obsessed with you and can’t seem to get enough of your time and space.
  • She is openly affectionate in public and touches you freely and naturally
  • She wants to make things for you and take care of you.  Whether it is cupcakes, dinner, or some kind of special craft, she is thrilled to turn her energy toward creating something for you.
  • Your girlfriend is agreeable to compromising for you, whether it is schedule related or choice of movie, she is all too happy to accommodate.
  • When the discussion turns to the future, you are a big part of it.

This is what we would expect in the traditional world of love. Everything just seems to slide nicely in place.  What she says and does, makes plenty of sense and the puzzle pieces fit.

Normally, you have little doubt of her undying affections.

Life in this world of relationship connections is sublime!

It is a beautiful place to live in.

But guess what?

I am a believer of multi-worlds.

Sometimes the world or experience you are having is not so traditional in the sense of things making sense.

Indeed, in a moment’s notice, you may find yourself off world.

In these situations, you are wondering just what the heck is going on because now your lover’s (or ex-girlfriend’s) behavior seems completely upside down.

Welcome To Your Ex Girlfriends Orwellian World

orwellian world

Ok, maybe it’s not that graphic in this new world but you get the idea for what I am going for here.

If you and your Ex broke it off and you are now wondering if she still really cares about you, it will be quite a feat for you to put the puzzle pieces together in this world.

You have to accept that your old girlfriend has slipped the surly bonds of earth and just about all the behavior from her will be completely foreign to you.

You have heard the old saying about men being from Mars and women are from Venus.

Well, forget that, because in this case, if your ex-girlfriend has entered into Orwellian space, you will be dealing with someone who is no longer even in our solar system (emotionally speaking)!

And why is that?

Because in this world I am talking about, your ex-girlfriend could say things that mean the complete opposite.  You will require a translator.

Fortunately for you, I have acquired a very special skill that makes me conversant in the Orwellian language.

So I can be your translator!

Here is how it works.

I will tell you what she may have said or is probably thinking, then I will translate it for you.

Will all this make her come back.

Nope.

But you stand a good chance of getting your sanity back.

Oh, and by the way, this translation of what your former girlfriend is really thinking only applies if she  “really loved you”.

I am not talking, a passing infatuation.

Your Ex’s feelings for you had to be the real deal.

Ready to play along?

So let’s get to it!

“I hate you”

Translation:

“I am really mad at him…so pissed.  He just doesn’t have a clue.  I can’t believe how he just doesn’t get it.  But I love him so much.  Maybe I need to teach him a lesson.  Gosh, I am so angry at him.  I don’t know what to do.”

Do you see how easy this is?

You and your girl break it off.

You start wondering if she still loves you.

She says some god awful things about you and now you have some serious doubts.  But you use the “Chris Seiter Orwellian Translator” and now you understand a bit more about the predicament you are in.

Seriously, you ex-girlfriend is likely still very much head over heels for you. But you have some work ahead of you to make things right.

In this strange new world that you Ex may be operating from, you can get easily confused.  Trust me, given this place she reside in now…she is confused as well.

She tells you she hates you, but she doesn’t really.

She spends most of her time trying to ignore you…but all she can do is think about you.

She has blocked you on every social media site that ever existed…but she dreams of you and wishes that things were back to the way they were in the good times.

You girlfriend of the past is probably even using the No Contact Rule on you.  But in reality, all she really wants is to talk to you and be held by you.

Welcome the Orwellian world of relationships gone awry.

Making Deposits into the Love Account

deposits love account

 

So you are probably thinking by now…

Ok, Chris, if I stand a decent chance given this ‘force’ that you say still acts upon me and my girl, tell me what I can do”.

Geez, do I really have to spell it out?

Just go out and pick up my Ex-girlfriend Recovery PRO e-books!

Your game plan, along with all kinds of “what ifs” and “what you should do” is covered in great detail.

What?

You are desperate to know something now?

Ok…OK.  I got you covered.

Generally speaking, you need to start making some deposits into your girlfriend’s trust account.

You see, every relationship can be measured by the capital that is invested in its emotional trust account.  It can also be called a “love account”.  When you get married, this becomes a “joint” account.  You are both vested in it.

There are two ways this account works.

It can grow, by you making deposits.

The more deposits you put into your account the better it is for your relationship.

So what are deposits?

Deposits are things like:

  • Telling your girl you love her and saying it first
  • Showing kindness and consideration
  • Behaving in a way that promotes trust and reliability
  • Listening intently to everything your girlfriend says, without interrupting her or making her feel wrong
  • Doing everything you can to make your girlfriend feel safe

(Side Note: You need to put these deposits into the “love account” at the right time. Timing is everything! What is the correct time? Where you know where to go to find that out.)

These are just a few examples of making deposits.

Do I need to tell you what withdrawals are?

I don’t think so.

I believe you know already.

Let’s just say that watching withdrawals being made from the relationship “trust account” is not a pretty sight to behold.

Now this all sounds fine and dandy. You think to yourself, “yea, I can learn to be the best version of myself and do a much better just of building up the old trust account”.

But then you go on to ask yourself, “how on earth am I going to do all of that when my Ex won’t even give me the time of day?”

Ok, I have a secret weapon for you.

secret weapon

It all starts with your texting strategy.  By the way, did you know I have written the mother of all texting relationship books?

It’s true.

It’s called “The Texting Bible“.

Check it out if you are looking for the “Master’s” version of how to use texting to re-light the fuse with your ex-girlfriend.

It is the most powerful secret weapon I could ever offer up to you, short of actually providing individual relationship coaching.

Right now, I am sorry to say, I have had to put my coaching days on the back burner.

With a new baby, I am happy when I have time to even crawl into bed.  Thank goodness I put the Texting Bible together.

It has cut down on a lot of questions I have gotten.

But enough about me.

Let’s get back to you.

We started off this entire conversation with the question of whether the girl you broke up with, but care deeply about, is still fond of you.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall – Does My Girlfriend Love Me At All

Like I told you earlier, the embers of love are very difficult to completely flame out.

All of those habits and routines that you and your ex girl have grown accustomed to are still very much part of both of your psyches.

The process of bonding closely with another human being, particularly when it is the opposite sex, is something that has great staying power.

Unless you have royally [email protected]#ked up, then forces at play are on your side.  It could take some time.  When emotions start running really high, logic inevitably will run low.

Your girlfriend may be going through a bit of a crazy and confusing time on the emotional side.  Chances are you are too.

Whatever the catalyst that caused the two of you to split, my best advice is that time is going to be a big ally.  It takes time to collect one’s thoughts.  Both of you probably need  considerable time to draw closer to your real feelings.

As you know from my other writings, I am a fan of employing the No Contact Rule in most relationship situations where a serious breakup has occurred.

This affords you an opportunity to get your “[email protected]#t together”.  Even if you think you have it all together, you probably don’t.

But in closing, I want to reinforce some good news.  You and your ex girlfriend were an item, right?

You guys were close.  You cared for each other.  You told each other that you love the other.

Over time a connection was made.  A bond was formed.  A “love account” was opened.

When you are in love, couples practice, subconsciously, a phenomenon called “mirroring”.

You end up copying each other.  It is as if your spirits have merged.  If you sit a certain way, she does as well.  If you watch a certain show, she does also.  If there is music she likes, you learn to enjoy it.  You learn to anticipate each other’s words and needs, even before they are uttered or are exhibited.

I suppose that is where the term “soulmates” got started. If you are together with someone long enough, you become part of each other in a way.

So if you are wondering what she might be thinking, right at this time.  There is a mighty good chance she is also thinking about you as well.  She has probably been reading up on break-ups and and feelings of love.  She too is likely wondering if you love her.

Just know that this mirror image effect in how you both interact is also not something that just dissipates away in a matter of days or weeks.

Irrespective of whether she has doubts about you and even if she is seriously considering taking a different course in her life, just know that the months following a break-up more often results in couples reuniting.

Wrapping Up

Are you ready for her to come back into your life?

Have you become the best version of yourself as I teach in my e-books?

I certainly hope so because some pretty amazing things can happen when two people are motivated to improve their relationship.

So do me a favor.  After you have had some time to process all of the information, take an opportunity to COMMENT below.  You may have a question.  Or you might have an idea you want to share with our readers.

Either way, we really appreciate you weighing in!

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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139 Comments on "How To Know If Your Ex Girlfriend Is Still In Love With You"

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Ricky
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Hi, Just came across your site and after reading the comments thought I should explain my problem here as well. So I met this girl online a year and a half ago on a dating website. I am in India and she is in Manchester. In just two weeks of whatsapping and talking, we clicked and got into a LDR with each other. She did tell me upfront that she doesn’t do long distance and that we’ll need to find out something quick to be together. I explained her the whole situation and how I plan to be there with… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
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EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ricky,

How are you now?

XYZA
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Me and my girlfriend were together for around 6 years. She broke up with me in May 2017. A brief history was I was in depression since 2016 and became quite awkward and could not emotionally satisfy her, started taunting her and in short suffocating her emotionally. She went to tour and was her 1st job after trying for 2 years, she used to cry there because she was not able to do her job properly and her job which she got might go out of her hands and as i was in depression i used to ask her problem… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
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EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Xyza,

if she has moved on, what’s your plan?

Oscar
Guest
Hi, I find this article pretty interesting and somehow motivational to me. I would like to share my love story, I think is kinda nice to share and so I can relieve myself in some sence too. A year ago I moved to the US to start my graduate studies. I moved to a single apartment in a community of my college. The second week I had to look for a laundry card in the office on charge of the community, and was serviced by a girl of the staff. I recall starting to talk to her and suddenly she… Read more »
jake
Guest
hi, me and my ex broke up 2.5 weeks ago (she broke it up with me) we met at a club texted for about 3 weeks before started dating. we were so happy together did lots of weekend trips away did lots of activities and that was great she couldn’t get enough of me for about 4 months then i started doing fly in fly out work so i would be away for 2 weeks then home 1 week and so on. now i really struggled with this as i was on a mine site completely isolated form away one… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jake

are you still in nc now?

Marko
Guest
My girlfriend actually said, she lost all feelings for me. She doesn’t love me anymore. But in a friendly way. She said, she wants me to move on. She is happy as a single and I really saw that she was serious about this. She is really happy about it, she is laughing a lot and has fun. I see her in school every day. 1 month after the breakup (even though I stayed clingy and didn’t do all the thinks you say to become attractive, because I didn’t found your site at the right time.) Is she telling the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Marko,

Let’s day she is serious and has moved on..you can still try the no contact rule..

Ben
Guest
I do have a question. My ex and I broke up 9 months ago over jealously reasons (on my part). She moved on a few weeks later but recently got dumped by that guy. I’ve just started seeing a girl who I do like and I think she likes me back, cause I thought she had moved on so I gathered I should too. Anyways, the three of us were at the same party and my ex, saw us arrive together and gave us a dirty look. later on in the evening I went upstairs and my ex asked this… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Well, that’s actually a common reaction from an ex.. it’s like checking who replaced her because of ego.

Concerned mom
Guest
I find your responses disturbing. My daughter was engaged to a man who had minimal dating experience, was socially awkward and wanted to marry in approximately 6 mos after they started going out. He texted her non-stop and needed to know what she was doing at all times. When she didn’t respond immediately he sent an asinine text that he was “curled in fetal position worrying about you’ She recently called off their engagement (2nd time) but he will not stop texting, snap chatting or sending snail mails. Your site has given this misguided (scary man IMO) additional guidance to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi concerned mom,

We appreciate your concerns.. But we dont advice men to keep texting and ex to the point of chasing them or looking like a creep stalker.. Thank you for letting us clear that up

Larry
Guest
So; We met online and chatted at length for about a month, as she was on holiday twice during the month and I was working away a lot. We seemed to click straight away. Then met up in September and everything just seemed “easy and worked really well”. My ex has had 2 previous relationships to my knowledge. 1 was school boyfriend which ended when she went to uni, other was on/off relationship which last 5 years, volatile on both sides – included him cheating, children (he had with another woman – whilst with her, which he kept quiet) and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Larr,

Sorry, I’m confused.. Did you mean you didn’t initiate during nc but you replied to her messages? How active were you in improving yourself and in posting during and after nc?

Larry
Guest

Hi Amor

So at first – we continued to chat as normal, well not pre break up levels. But chatted and could spend a while chatting. Then we had a phone call – where she explained she needed more space, etc etc. I had been reading your website at this point, so I initiated NC. For 28 days, she didn’t contact me during NC. But pre-NC she would initiate contact at times, as well as always replying to me.

I am very active in improving myself, reading, learning new things and back to the gym.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Ok, if you didn’t initiate contact and didn’t reply for 28 days, that means you have to start with the texting phase..

Larry
Guest

So you think that with all that additional to the break up – I play the normal guidelines. I’ve started some texting and gentle messaging – she still seems a little stressed at times

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yup..and dont rush.. That’s why you need to slowly build rapport because just one text or two is not going to build rapport

Daniel
Guest
Hi Chris! My girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me a month ago saying I was taking her for granted. That I was unappreciative and insensitive. I am guilty about that because I’ve been focusing on studying and I’ve just joined an organization in my university. We never fight. But I feel like it’s because she keeps everything to herself. So I tried the 21 day NC since I sincerely feel like the reason for her break up is so shallow and I know she’s not interested in someone else (I asked one of her friends). On the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you need to restart nc, do at least 30 days.. Be active in improving yourself, and in posting in social media.. and then take it slow in building rapport after.. use topics she always loves talking about.

Daniel
Guest
My girlfriend and I broke up only a few days ago, she said she needed to figure herself or find herself. She said she doesn’t have love for me anymore, but a few days before she broke up with me, she was telling me she loves me and misses me etc with cute texts and everything. I am seriously confused because she acted so in love with me…. then she says she has to end it because she lost love for me and doesn’t see “us” like we were before. I didn’t do the no contact, I decided to message… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Daniel,

did she reply now?

John
Guest
Hi Chris, Big fan of your articles. I actually just purchased your Texting Bible. I’ve gotten plenty of female input for my situation (sister and chick friends), so I was hoping to get some thoughts from the male perspective. I’ll try to explain as quickly as possible. I believe my situation is slightly unique. That being said, let me just quickly mention that I’m not 100% certain that I want my ex back just yet. Quick back story on me: for the last 10 years I have run nightclubs in Boston, Miami, and Fort Lauderdale. I grew up in hospitality,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

I’ll forwad this to Chris ok?

John
Guest

Hi,

Wow thanks for the quick response and for forwarding to Chris. Any thoughts that you have as well- I’d love to hear!

Thanks again

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

It looks like she took the last talk as an opportunity to regain power by conveying that you’re a little too late. But, I think there’s still a chance but for me it’s because she’s immature. She missed you, she’ll continue to miss you if you further improve yourself but what I’m concerned is, if she doesn’t change, how does it all affect you? Are you going to allow her to continue to be like that? Because if yes, if you’re ok with it, then just continue building rapport. But if you don’t trust her, the relationship will be toxic..

John
Guest

Thanks for the input. I still have not reached back out since our first txting and calling covno’s after the 1 month of NC. It’s been two days now, but I feel it’s important for me to continue to think, and for her to digest as well. I could tell she missed me, like you said, because I was very surprised we communicated for as long as we did the other day. Would you be able to elaborate just a bit more about her regaining power and what you meant about her immaturity.

Thank you very much

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

regaining power, well, she was embarrased, she made a mistakex so making it seem that it was a little too late can make her look like, “Hey, I don’t care! I’m not that shaken. I’m moving on..blah blah blah.” For me, if she was mature enough, she would apologize for everything first and then used what happened to improve herself and not repeat her previous actions of partying too hard.

John
Guest
Hi Amor, This seems to be in your department! I know it’s completely against the rules to contact an ex, especially a new-ish ex, on Valentine’s Day… (or at least it totally should be against the rules!) I can’t lie and pretend like I didn’t think about texting her a few times, but I never EVER would have allowed myself to actually do so. I felt kind of crappy a few times throughout the day as well, but I didn’t crack. Quick reminder- I broke up with her. Since last week we’ve been in contact via text and call every… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

she thought of you… probably wondered why you weren’t messaging the whole day.. But that’s good that she is still nice in the message..

Erick
Guest
Me and my fiancee broke up for 1 month and half..she broke up with me because of mainly i was not like her dad because her dad was really good at household stuff ..i was not really good but i put effort into it..but because of constant criticism, i didnt performed well because my self esteem was crushed ..a week after we broke up i sent her a message that instead of criticizing me,encourage me so that i could be the man thay she wanted to be..she agreed but because of roller coaster feelings and situations plus i didn’t give… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Erick,

I agree with your plan..try that..

Erick
Guest

Dear Amor, thanks for replying to my message.. I appreciate that just an update what if she shared an article in FB., it says “11 reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with your EX”. She posted in the shared article ” AN ex should be put into past”.. Is it a bad thing? I felt she’s not yet over me because there is a big emotion there.. What I am afraid of is indifference.. Am i correct with my assessment? what is the best way to deal with it.. Thanks you are a big help!

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

think of it as her still weighing if she can be friends with you, that means she’s not yet sure
So, there’s a higher chance that she will be open to being friends if she can see you are moving on and not posting negative about your past with her..

Eddie
Guest
Hi guys ive been with this girl for 3 years we have a long distance relationship. I was visiting her a few days ago the first night was wonderful we kissed she fell asleep in my arms. The next day though we went to church but she seemed like she was ignoring me since i didnt even talk to her until we got to church and i was somewhat upset that as soon as churxh ended i went outside to avoid everyone and went and sat in my car and she came over asking why i was in mu car… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Eddie,

i hope you two talked after cooling down and resolved things..

Matthew
Guest
Hi ! Been reading your articles and they’re really helpful. I’ve been in a long distant relationship for a while with the girl who seemed perfect for me. She told me almost weekly how happy/lucky she was that we met and we had planned to meet up finally in a month. Everything was well, no arguments/negative problems and spoke through everything. Skipping up to today where suddenly she told me she had a conversation with her parents and they’ve told her strictly she cannot date me due to my race. Her attitude completely changed and she told me she needs… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matthew,

both affects it. How old are you both?

Matthew
Guest

Hi Amor, she is 28 and I’m 25
Up till a few days everything was amazing, she was asking me about marriage and the future so things were perfect before then.
I feel there was a strong connection there. I have the time and money to visit her in the future, that was never a problem.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That’s good that it’s not a problem.. I hope you’re in nc now to let her think and for you to improve

Andre Manuel
Guest
Hi Chris, my ex girlfriend of 2yrs broke up with me because of our religious differences. We have been very good all this while despite the religion barrier. She started acting strange and ignoring my calls and texts. The next time she text me was to break up with me, i was like what have i done? All she could say was that we can no longer be together because her parent does not support her relationship with a christian. She has said all sort if words like i hate you, i don’t love you, and so many. So, i… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi Andre,

how old are you both? So, that means she wants you to convert?

Dru
Guest
Hi Chris, recently my gf broke up with me. 3.5 months together. Short i know, but from the get go we hit it off big time. We have quite a bit in common. 3 weeks before she broke it off, she asked me was i into her. I replied of course i am, jumped up from couch, looked into her eyes reassured her gave her a very long hug and then gave her a kiss. She said sorry, you know my history(ex partner emotionaly abused her) So up until the last day i seen her, she stayed over. sleeped together(no… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dru,
if you’re right, just give her time.. do 21 days before talking to her again

Dru
Guest
Hi Amor, ill be coming up to 21 days no contact on the 1 november. No contact what so ever. No liking commenting on on social media. I know that she is pretty much stalking my accounts. A friend has told me this. My counseller/doctor seems to think she is a extremely damaged girl. I know she doesnt talk to her real dad. And calls her step dad, Dad. Im focussing on me as much as i can. Started Muay Thai up again, big walks with my dogs. working a lot. New haircut. I feel she is so afraid of… Read more »
Dru
Guest

Ive also been told she is liking some random guys social media pages. Hes in another country. So im not concerned, Im guessing that is directed at me. A form of communication or something. I dont know. Doenst really make sense to me.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yeah, just ignore it.. if you think you need to extend to 30 days, that’s ok

heartbroken
Guest
Hi Chris. I am extremely sorry to be this descriptive, but I have no other option but to pour my heart out as I want nothing more in my life right now than to get my baby back. I am currently dealing with heavy depression and chronic alcoholism. I have no way left but to start making appointments to psychiatrists and asking the experts online. That’s why you. Me and my girlfriend were madly in love, Like madly so. She was mesmerized by me, I was amazed by how amazing she was. We met as colleagues, and then became friends.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Heartbroken,

you need to stop chasing her and start doing no contact rule to improve yourself

Jak
Guest
Hey, So this girl I was seeing for a 5 months recently called it off abruptly. We started up with each other after getting out of relationships and instantly hit it off. Things were great except for the occasional hiccup from exes showing up in our day to day lives (attending college). Eventually all the drama fell to the side and we were spending a lot of time together. I let her know that I was with her and interested in pursuing a relationship but I wanted to make sure that both of us were 100% for the relationship. She… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jak,

how are you now?

Anthony Simmonds
Guest
So me and my ex had been broken up for a while but we do talked then she started becoming distant and we would talk less and less we would fight and argue a lot and i for could my that i didn’t realize what i was doing the whole relationship she’s had been taking to someone else but i wasn’t for sure i had became emotionally abusive toward her and kept texting here from different numbers after she blocked me i started the no contact sike but broke it and texted her a couple more times even though block… Read more »
Tilghman
Guest
Me and my ex gf have been dating close to 9 months . Everything was great . We were truly in love . Of course we argued every now and then . But nothing out of the ordinary . We made plans for the future . Marriage , kids . We both made it clear that we were deep in love . Then one day she contacts me saying she needs to work on her self and she’s not ready for a relationship right now . She can’t handle it . But she still wants to be friends . We… Read more »
Eli
Guest
Hi, I seriously need some advice. I was in a long distance relationship for almost a year sort of. We were together for 4 months at first but then I broke it off with her because I thought that feelings were dying out (we were running out of things to say to each other). After maybe 2 and a half months, we ended up talking again. Then, in June, she questioned whether we will ever be in a committed relationship again and I was hesitant about it since I rarely see her and for some reason thought that it would… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Eli,
do nc so you can have restart.. She’s confused because when she wants you to commit, you didn’t..

Matt
Guest
I’m just hoping for some insight on my situation, if you could help me out, that would be awesome! To start, me and my ex first met in high school where we were chemistry lab partners our sophomore year. We never really got intimate or dated back then but we always got along great. Fast forward 10 years later, she randomly adds me on Facebook, I’m not big on Facebook, but we begin to talk and things are going great like they always have. I ask her if she wants to meet up for a date and just enjoy and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Matt,

did she keep in talking or texting with the neighbor while she was with you? coz it looks like she’s just really using you as another option when things are not well with the other guy

Daniel
Guest
I dated this girl for a couple weeks and she said I can’t do this boyfriend girlfriend thing. I said she was worth pursuing so we kept dating. She always intiated affection and a lot of it. Then the last night we spent together she was affectionate and the next day she said she still felt that way. She said the relationship eiether moves forward or it doesn’t and she had to find herself. I said I can’t do this I got too much self respect and told her when she figured out what she wanted she knew how to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Daniel,

I think she thought you wanted to be together when you said directly that you thought about her.. hmm.. I think you can try a good memory text again but make it casual, friendly that you’re like just asking how she is..

David
Guest
Well, how do I start this off? My Ex of 2 months (I know, a small amount of time) broke up with me in the end of March, and for 3 months I tried to get back with her. I will usually make excuses to see her, and her and I would talk but she will get me mad because she finds it funny and so I used that to my advantage. She told me in April-May, that she no longer loves me nor shares feelings for me, and that nobody will accept it and that its embarrassing, she said… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi David,

it will take longer than 30 days though coz you really have to establish being the alpha male again by improving yourself and moving on without totally moving on from her of course.

Tidus
Guest

Hi Chris, recently my girlfriend wish to have a separation with me for the time being. She said that her feelings for me wasn’t like the same as before. We had a wonderful time for the past 2years and suddenly she just tell me this. I feel that she might be seeing another guy. Can advise me on what to do next? Thanks

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tidus,

give her space and then do active nc..

Rich
Guest

Hey! So my ex and I had an extremely bad break up. She broke up with me/cheated on me. Then 3 months after our break up she left for Sydney with her new one. Before she left for Sydney she blocked me from Facebook and Instagram when she got there she unblocked me. I never contacted her or made her feel I wanted to contact her. But recently just 2 days ago. She blocked me on Instagram and Facebook. I don’t know why she did since I haven’t tried speaking to her. Hope you can shed some light? Thanks!

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi rich,

maybe it’s to prevent herself from checking you

Dave
Guest
I’m trying to make sense of some things. My gf of almost 2 years broke up with me on a whim. For about 2 months we barely spoke. Than we got together for a movie, her initial plan was for it too end there but than she had dinner with me. Afterwards, we hung out in the parking lot for about 2 hours just talking. During this time she even admitted that a lot of her problem was likely anxiety, but also mentioned wanting to date other people. I admitted that I wouldn’t be cool with it but didn’t even… Read more »
Dave
Guest
I’d like to give a brief update to maybe ad more insight. Since this post I have been doing a lot of reflecting. I think I see where I went wrong and what I need to fix. I let the relationship go stale, causing her to start detaching. At which point, the cool confident me turned into the insecure me that continued to grow. I forgot how stupid love can make you. Either way, after the breakup when we met again the cool, confident me showed up for a day. But almost immediately the stupid insecure me showed up. Throwing… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dave,

you ahould start from a topic that she really love.. focus on build rapport instead of your mistakes

Chris
Guest
Hi, I recently reconnected with my girlfriend but now she is avoiding/ignoring me, she told me she slept with someone when we broke up and that her head wasn’t in the right place but she apologised and I forgave her. She told me a few weeks ago that she was pregnant with this guys kid and she was confused as she didn’t know what to do and the guy said he didn’t want it but I told her I’d support her regardless of what she decided. I last spoke to her through texting about two weeks ago and since then… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chris,

actually you need to give her space but I don’t consider it no contact because I think you should reply if she reaches to find out what her decision is but you should start improving yourself while you’re giving her space

Chris
Guest

Hi we’ve been talking on and off and she’s said she thinks it’s best I move on but then she says she doesn’t know what she wants and now I still don’t know where we stand. She is acting in self pity by saying stuff like she’s better off being alone and that she’s a selfish and stupid girl. I told her I’ll always be here for her and that we can work through it but she still remains confused?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if it’s like that, then it’s better to just do no contact to give her space to think

Tom
Guest
Hello, so I’ve successfully got through no contact. I can say that for sure since its been about a year and I havent spoken to her since we had a big dramatic fallout. we were living together, she went really distant and was still talking to her ex, I freaked out anxiety got the best of me and we ended up getting in a big fight after we were making out. Shes 24 Im 28. Since then she hasn’t reached out to me either, but I know she was seeing someone 2 weeks after we broke it off. However, to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tom,

as in now way? do you know where she works, mutual friends, her usual go to place for hang outs or when she wants to relax?

Jenny
Guest
I see you all respond pretty fast, so maybe you can help me. I have known my ex for almost two years, we dated after two months, moved in together after 6. She says at the 7-8 month point, she saw the true me. That I was mean, and bitter, and not confident. Nothing like the girl that she met in the beginning. But that she held on for so long because she hoped I would get better over time. After several months of coaxing, I went to talk to a counselor and tests say I have severe anxiety and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jenny,

put yourself first.. You know, it’s not good that she said those things to you.. even if you have depression, she shouldn’t just be rude to you.. Focus on you first because you’re taking yourself in every relationship.. whoever you’re with, if it’s the same you and you still have the same insecurities, the same problems will arise.. So, this time.. don’t try to get back with if you’re not emotionally stable.. YOu ahve to do it without her, so you know that you did it yourself and not because of an outside source.

Adam
Guest
I need help with my ex gf, she ended our relationship about 2 months ago and since then I have chased her. She started becoming distant a few weeks before she ended it, so I started to pursue her more until it got to a point where she turned around and said she hates me, she never loved me, etc. I went to see her the next day but she turned me away and told me she didn’t want me so I left her alone for a few days and asked to talk to her properly over the phone, she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Adam,

yeah she sounds so annoyed with you.. I don’t get it.. If you really didn’t do anything then something’s up with her.. Anyways, since you’re not getting positive responses.. and if you still want to try, do nc first.

Adam
Guest

Hi,

She contacted me yesterday via text and said ‘Hi, how are you?’ so I didn’t reply for like an hour and went out whilst leaving my phone at home, when I came back I saw that she called me so I called back and I think she rejected it so I replied to her text and said ‘I’m good thanks, yourself?’ and she replied 2 hours later with ‘???’ so I asked ‘what?’ and she hasn’t gotten back to me.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Adam.

did you talk again? or are you in nc now?

Adam
Guest
Hi, she came back a few days after writing this message telling me how much she misses me and that her head was messed up etc but after a week of contact she has become distant again. She says she wants to be with me and that we are together but from my side it doesn’t feel like it. She hardly responds and when she does text it’s generally short and brief conversation like we’re friends or acquaintances, when I call she doesn’t pick up and when we do talk she sounds sad and depressed (she told me she’s been… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

try to restart nc, and this time stick to it..

Adam Byrd
Guest

Hi what’s a good period of no contact as she is saying that she’s busy all the time and she ignores certain messages but replies to others

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

do it as soon as possible.. and do 30 days at least.

Adam Byrd
Guest

Do I respond if she contacts me?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if you’re in no contact period, nope.

Adam Byrd
Guest

Hi we spoke and she told me she’s pregnant from the guy she went with after we broke up and she said she doesn’t know what to do but I told her I’ll support her and she’s on and off with contact she told me she told the guy and he doesn’t want the baby but she doesn’t know either and she says she wants to be with me but she doesn’t talk to me as much

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

give her space, let her think first.

Shawn
Guest
Dear Chris, I have been dating this girl on and off for 5 years. To say there is a sorted past to this relationship would be an understatement. To try and make it short our relationship was built out of unhappiness of both our previous relationships. Both were marriages! Through the years we have had some of the most intense of times and some really low points as well but we always found our way back because of our strong attraction and our deep love for each other. We both have professed our love on so many occasions its hard… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Shawn,

actually that was a good decision from her.. I agree with her that you should move on because she chose herself.. if you want, try again for her when you see that she has moved on herself..for now focus on healing and improving yourself

Jonny
Guest
Hi Chris, Welcome to my situation. I was dating a girl for 3 years. We lived together for 1.5 years. One day her Dad asked her if we wanted to buy a house. We were in love; trip to Europe in 5 months that she bought for me…We signed for the house on Feb, then 9 days later, she started a new relationship with another guy at my work. They communicated through emails all the way to March 8th. On March 8th, I had this weird gut feeling. I took her out the day before on our anniversary, her favorite… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jonny,

actually you are right about letting her improve first.. because let’s say the other guy didn’t leave, would she still be like what she is now with you?

Bob
Guest
Hi, Recently, my girlfriend of 5 years came over and randomly asked if I saw myself marrying her as she is. Confused as to what her motives were, I said I wasn’t sure (expecting further conversation, and knowing we’ve agreed we’re not ready). She then broke down, cried, and said we want different things before saying I deserve better, breaking up with me, and leaving. Confused, I waited a few days and asked to talk whenever she was ready. She came over immediately and I expected to discuss marriage and what her concerns were, but she said “I love you… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Bob,

maybe she’s emotional because she’s out of the pill. I think she was expecting an answer that you’re sure about getting married with her.. If you talk, stay calm and just explain that it doesn’t mean you won’t get married down the line, it’s just that it’s not now because… (whatever your reasons are) but explain it calmly

Bob
Guest
Thanks for the advice. It just seems like that discussion is off the table at this point. When I had her come over to talk, my goal was to explain that I was just caught off guard and wanted to avoid the question until I understood her motives – then tell her my actual feelings on the matter (I want to get married, but need some time). However, she kind of put of a wrench in that plan by coming out of nowhere with “I love you but I’m not in love with you” and “I’ve been keeping it inside… Read more »
Paul
Guest
So I came on a little late to your site. I wish I would have found it a lot sooner otherwise I would have used to NC rule. My girlfriend and I broke up after a year and a half. It’s been a month and I’ve only had two convos with her about how she is doing and them a couple others that were short, involved returning possessions. She moved on after 1 week so I believe she is in a rebound, and I wanna make a move. I just saw her tonight for the first time in a month… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Paul,

are you both social media friends? and when was the last time you talked? how many days exactly?

William
Guest
I’m actually a little confused at the moment. I’ve been hanging out with my ex for a couple of weeks off and on. We’ve gone out to eat a few times, I’ve cooked her dinner and even did a little shopping with her. So, last weekend my ex went on a trip to get a new tattoo. She doesn’t know that I know that she also went down there to see her new boyfriend that she had been dating for a couple of months. She didn’t outright tell me that she what’s going down there to see him as well,… Read more »
ITS ME
Guest
Dear Chris, My pleasure to read you and share thoughts with you. I have had a LDR with my ex for 2,5 years. She is in her early 20’s and i am in my early 30’s, both down to earth and happy to have found each other. When i knew her she a was young sweet lady that was bit lost she never had a beautiful love relationship. I gave her all the love i had & all the advices i could in order to help her to become more confident and a better person. She changed of career because… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Hello It’s Me, Very Adele! 🙂 It’s hard to maintain an LDR Relationship and a growing business at the same time. You have done it for two years, that takes discipline and good time management to last that long. But from what you said, your ex has some issues of her own too and it’s great that you’re helping her with that but confidence should always come from within. Like happiness, you can be a great source of it for her, but she should know how to make herself happy too without you. I’m not saying you should blame her… Read more »
ITS ME
Guest
Hi EGR TEAM MEMBER: Thank you for your prompt reaction & reply. I’ll try to see what to do or not to do as you said. The thing is that i know somehow that she must feel confident and secure by her own so if we have some harder moments in life she’ll be able to stand by her own and as i told her many times support me or if i am not there be able to fight by herself. I’ll try to wait and se what she thinks and if she’s mature enough to understand that we had… Read more »
ITS ME
Guest
Hi EGR TEAM MEMBER: AMOR I took a plane and came to visit her over the weekend. We spent a moment together and she says which is true that i have been rude and not giving that much attention to her. She felt enough unloved to feel that i am not right for her, it was nice together and she touched me many times while we were both a bit distant, i think she need time and to understand that i was and still under a strong person but that i am willing to fix things for her and that… Read more »
ITS ME
Guest
Hi EGR TEAM MEMBER: AMOR ITS ME AGAIN, Yes very adele. I sent a message to her parents saying i am travelling to see her and so she contacted me and told me not to come. However i did took a plane and came to her city. We met after she finished uni she came to see me at my hotel. She has a lot of pression as she has exams during all next week. We have been speaking and i could really understand how much pain she had from my last behaviour because of the work pression, we could… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi again it’s me!

continue on having fun while balancing time for her exams.

Steve
Guest
Hi Chris, You may not know it but I wanted to thank you for all the help you have been giving me. I followed everything you said to get my ex back that I have been with for three of the best years of my life and I think its working. I did the no contact rule, got in the best shape of my life, realized that my happiness isnt soly depended on her and made my self into a fun loving guy which has allot going for him. I went on a friendly date with her for ice cream… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Steve,
sorry for the late reply. Yeah you did great! How is everything now? I hope you’ve progressed. 🙂

Patrick
Guest
Hey Chris, My situation has been weird. So my ex and I have been talking again for a while. I try not to get annoying and do it too much but early one she encouraged it and seemed to enjoy speaking to me too. Over the past few weeks it seemed that I was making good progress; flirting was met with equal efforts in flirting, good night texts, long conversations, and if I got not response, she’d apologize for the waiting. I appeared to make her jealous (posting a picture of me and a female friend at a concert) and… Read more »
caskf
Guest
Hi Chris, I have a weird one for you, if you think you’re up to it. I was in an LDR for 2 years with a girl I loved very much but then I broke it off with her in spectacularly terrible fashion: I told her I didn’t love her and she should move on. Because I was an idiot and thought it wouldn’t work out. 6 months later, she was with another guy. Fast forward another 2 years and she’s breaking up with the new guy and starts messaging me just to talk. The conversation continued and I let… Read more »
Dan
Guest

Hi Chris.My ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because she cheated on me with another new guy she just met for 5 days.She said she was able to connect with him and she has lost the passion in me.We literally used to live together until this happened.I just started the NC for a day.The guy she likes told her he can’t love her like how I love her.They are just friends now.She says she cares for me but not love.How do I get about this?Really need your help.I’m from Malaysia.

lvtvs
Guest
its been 3 months i am following NC. how should i approach ehr now. should i write a letter and send her through any unknown person. should i call or text or email about meeting? when she broke up she clearly warned me not to call, text, email, or any other sources to contact her. thats her anger i know otherwise she would have blocked me all over except whatsapp. and on whatsapp she i putting the same pics which she used to send me and putting status my songs lines which i wrote for her. this is perfect time… Read more »
borra
Guest
She asked me for a break, and I did NC then a week after she broke up with me, saying that I was one of the best men she have ever known and that she realy wanted to be with me because I was worth it, but that she didn’t love me as I love her. After that I accepted it and started NC. Now I dont know if I should count the week before the break up as NC time. It’s been two weeks now in which I’ve tried to improve. Please tell me what should I do because… Read more »
Borra
Guest

Yeah I am still in NC, I was planning to do it for 21 days. She has College Mentality. I dont know if I should continue talking to her best friend.

Borra
Guest

She also had a fight during the weekend with her best friend because she was feeling that her best friend was changing her for her boyfriend. (I learned this because her best friend told me without me asking)

Borra
Guest
Well I didn’t say anything about her situation, I just changed the subject(I just asked why was my ex mad at her when she mentioned it). Yeah I think she wants to party all time, but I think she is not that into it. Another fact is that one week before she askeed for the break, she was away for three weeks because of surgery, saying to me that she missed me a lot and when she arrived we said that we loved each other, but then suddenly the break. So now I don’t know if I need to take… Read more »
borra
Guest

Also, everyone is telling me that all this smells like she cheated.

borra
Guest

I was thinking of using the surprise factor of surprise sending her a rose in a box, but since we didn’t end mad at each other why would I do something cute for her??

borra
Guest

She hasn’t put any story in snapchat which for me means that she doesn’t want me to know what she is doing, contrary when we started five months ago when she was filming every detail of the party on snapchat’s story.

Borra
Guest

Do you think I need to stop trying ?

borra
Guest

So whats my percentage of getting her back according to my situation? I sent her the anonymous rose and she texted me the day after that she didnt know what to say (assuming I sent it) but I never responded. I am at day 23 of NC.

Timmy
Guest
Hey Chris I’m trying to give me and my ex some time. It has been 2 months since we broke up. Since then we did meet and even kissed each other. I’m really confused because to me it fells like we are still a couple but we aren’t. I’m really afraid of talking about us, because if I do, I will mess up. When we meet she tells me how good I look and that now since we broke up, I do things that I didn’t do before. What do you recommend me to do, what should my next steps… Read more »
Timmy
Guest

no she doesn’t, she is a pretty shy women.
How do you think I could bring up the conversation up about being a couple again. I somehow have the feeling that it is too early now. I’m kinda waiting for the right moment, but I have no idea how I should “identify” this particular moment.

Timmy
Guest
Thanks Chris. I somehow have the feeling that she is anxious of something. Maybe getting back together and doing the same mistakes or getting the same bad feeling again and break up again. Maybe she thinks I would control her to much and she wouldn’t have much personal space left. I’m trying to show to her, that I’m not tryna do this. I guess the vacation example is a good beginning for me to show that to her. Do you recommend not to talk about the vacation at all. Maybe do a no contact for that particular time (5 days)?… Read more »
Timmy
Guest

What should I respond If she asks me why I haven’t been texting back? Just say I have been busy?

Christian
Guest
Chris, still me, and I’m still so confused and I just don’t know what I should do, act or feel! It’s so hard ???? on Thursday she texted me saying how I was the nicest person she had ever met, how much people suck, she thanked me for being me, I told her I loved her and she said it back. We texted that night and then the next day all day pretty much. I saw her out, and she gets sad seeing me. I ask her “Do you still love me?” She said yes and then I basically asked… Read more »