By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 9th, 2022

Does your ex girlfriend still love you?

It’s probably a thought that plagues you everyday since the break up.  It doesn’t matter whether you triggered the break-up or she just got fed up with you.

You are plagued with this same thought, over and over again in all its permutations.

You wonder:

Does she still care deeply about me?”

“Am I still on my ex-girlfriend’s mind?”

“Will my ex take me back…. does she even want me back?”

“Have her feelings about me changed…. is she still fond of me?”

It’s all you can think about.

And sometimes you might even feel a bit desperate about your situation.

The fact that your ex is missing from your life has you confused and conflicted.

Like most guys, you are probably reaching for even the smallest of signs that she still loves you.

You are willing to grasp any possibility that your former girlfriend is even mildly in love with you.

So you say to yourself, “I have to know if I have a chance”.  

You are willing to accept any form of love from your ex-girlfriend, just as long as you still have a chance to win her back.

You may be filled with thoughts about what you did wrong.

Maybe the two of your broke it off because of a mutual decision.

Though, in all my time in dealing with the ex break-up pattern, the reason why the two of your are no longer together is not likely due to a mutually arrived at decision.

Yea, I don’t see that very much.  Sure, it sounds nice, but in reality, it seldom really ever happens that way.

No, it is usually something she did or you did.

Maybe she cheated on you, but now you are mostly over it and are wondering if the love between you and your ex girlfriend is still in play.

Maybe you cheated on her, in which case you have finally come to your senses realizing that you screwed up royally.

But whatever happen, one huge question remains, doesn’t it?

Will she have you back?

Is there still any type of bond remaining between the two of you?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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Now, you are probably pretty sure you love her.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Does My Ex Girlfriend Still Really Love Me or is She Faking?

does my woman still have the hots for me

It is too bad we cannot identify every single sign that points to your ex girlfriend wanting you back for real, isn’t it. I mean all you want to know is if she still has the hots for you.  Romance can be a fickle thing particularly when you are wresting with the emotions of an ex gf.

Because if we could conjure up such information, then you would be wise to her ways. You would know whether she is just throwing you a head fake, perhaps trying to fool you into thinking she still has feelings for you. Maybe her assertions that she still loves you is part of a larger, more devious plan she has in store for you.  Maybe she says you are that most special guy in her life, but maybe that is all talk.  Perhaps she is confused and just goes to her default response when asked or cornered.  The possibilities are endless, aren’t they?

Few woman out there are going to give up all their secret feelings.  This is particularly case if they are confused or were hurt in some way.  If you are the guy that did the hurting, you best not put too much stock on anything she is saying to you for awhile.

You see, while there are some signals women give off that can give them away as to their romantic interests, it it awful hard to take that brief list and generalize across the population of women.  And it is even more difficult still to expect to decipher or decode what your ex girlfriend is truly thinking about you and love, and the breakup, and prospects for putting all the pieces back together again.

But still it is a fair thing to ask and want to know.  So I got you covered.  A little further down in the post, I will provide you with 10 Signs That You Ex Girlfriend Still Loves You and Wants You.

Are You Really Looking For a Solution!

Over the course of this article, let’s just think of ourselves as detectives.  I will be your lead detective flushing out the truths about women and love and breakup.  You can be the junior detective trying to take what I share and apply it to your individual situation.

So does your ex girlfriend perhaps have something else in mind when she is using all the amorous and loving words with you?

Is she possibly faking her desire to be with you again for some ulterior motive.

I wish is was so easy to identify and understand all the telltale signs an ex girlfriend is truly still interested in you. I wish I could give you a survey or checklist that you complete allowing you to arrive at useful conclusions, no matter how startling they may be, yet still be assured you are right on the mark.

Sorry my man, there is no such thing.  You ex girlfriend may very well be a very fickle creature and unless you have a lot of history with her over a long period of time, you can’t be certain how she is processing everything right now.  So be careful about putting too much stock in the things she says.

I mean, how can you really know if your ex girlfriend still loves you?

After all, she broke up with you (assuming that is what happened).  Or maybe you did the dumping and you now realize you acted to fast, with haste, but now she is making overtures that she will give you another chance.  That you are not the foolish and hateful guy she earlier accused you of being.

Maybe there are some secret signs your ex girlfriend still loves you and know one but the guy who wants to charge you $500 can give you the answer.

Well, if that is the predicament you are in, forget the so called expert and keep reading on.

A lot of guys reach out to me in search of whether their woman is over them.  They want to know if their ex might still possibly have feelings for them, even after the guy said the most horrible things.

Let me give you a sampling of some of the comments and questions I get everyday.

So I have been thinking, when is it that you really know when your ex girlfriend is for real about all the nice stuff she is now saying about you. Is it when she says she still adores you and you are the best thing that ever happened to her?  She said all this stuff but then she broke up with me, so how can I know she is worth trusting again now when she keeps insisting I am the one she wants. Maybe she is just lonely.  Like really, is she going to be reliable?  Does my ex girlfriend really want me back or is she just playing games with my mind? – Jason

I don’t know if I want to get back together again with my ex.  She keeps saying all these things about trying again and that her love is so great for me. But can a guy really know if his woman still loves him after a breakup?  It was sort of mutual, this breakup of ours, and I am thinking she is being a little desperate. – Peter

Look Chris, I don’t know if you can help me but my ex girlfriend is a really tough nut to crack.  Yeah, she is a bit nutty too if you were thinking that.  After we went our separate ways, she was royally pissed.  It was like a hate fest.  I got calls and hang ups and my friends were telling me she was calling them telling them how I treated her like crap and was not worthy to be with her.  It was a messy couple of weeks for us.  I just kept my mouth shut. I didn’t really want the breakup.  She pushed for it after a big fight we had.  Now she is coming around and checking up on me, leaving me messages about events moved too fast for us.  It’s like a compete reversal.  She takes every opportunity to tell me she loves me, but after what happened when we split up, I got to wonder.  What’s going on with her now that she seems obsessed with pouring all kinds of attention on me? – Robert

Well, as you can see from some of those comments, the mind of a woman is not always going to be easy to predict. When emotions are flying around, you can be assured that the near term future is going to be hectic.  Your girlfriend may go from being completely freaked out about what went down, even accusing you of some of the most awful things, to a place where you can barely recognize her because she is so nice to you.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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It is true that passions have a way of turning in reverse and accelerating in the complete opposite direction.

If the love between you and your ex was for real and has staying power, then it should not be shocking to see wide swings in her emotional reactions.  Whatever went down to cause the two of you to stop seeing each other, be assured that if those loving vibes you are getting from her are real, it will be hard for her to mask or pretend it is not so.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

But I am Still So Confused About Whether This is True Love?

But for your love to be “complete”, you know in your mind and heart that she needs to love you back.

But how can you really know if what she says, constitutes true love or love that has staying power?

So does she still have that very special passion just for you?  Do your relationship with her really even have a chance to succeed over the long term?

Can you trust that these loving signals you are now picking up from her represent her deepest and most truthful feelings?

Perhaps she has been the most amazing creature you have ever laid your eyes on and you cannot imagine a future without her in your life.

But you can’t get it out of your mind that she has told you she loved you in the past, only to break up with you.

Or possibly you did the deed causing her to strike back, dragging you through the coals to exact some revenge.  So how can you believe her now after what you did to her and what she did back to you to get even?

Certainly, you think, “she must still have a very special feeling for me”.

On most days, you believe that your sweetheart could not have just given up on the relationship, despite all of the problems you and her were having.

All of those memorable, intense feelings and experiences had to count for something you figure.

But there are other days where you fear that your ex-girlfriend is slipping away.  The woman who use to adore you, now wants nothing to do with you.

And if that is true, you wonder what you can do to get her back and actually say those three special words and truly mean it.

For many guys out there who have lost their girlfriend, it is not just simply a matter of waiting a few days for it all to come back together.

Indeed, you probably have already figured out that this business of winning back your lover’s affection is shrouded in all kind of mystery and it’s going to take a pretty sophisticated plan to win her back.

The Magic of Love


Now we are getting into the magic of what love is all about aren’t we!

I mean really, where did the love between the two of you originate?

Did it just come to be?

Was there something specific that sparked that powerful feeling of attraction and devotion?

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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If it doesn’t start with some kind of spark that you can reproduce, then how does it really take shape?

Ahh, now were are getting into the “science of love” aren’t we.

And by the way, if we are going to walk down that path, why not find out as much as we can.

What you really need to know is what your ex girlfriend might say or do to demonstrate that they still are very much in love with you.

This is really some heady stuff.  I mean, sometimes things as important as this are not so clear, particularly now since both of your emotions are all jumbled up.

Is it possible that her love for you is lost?

If so, how do you help her find it again.

What can you do to regain those very special feelings and get the dying embers of love all fired up again.

Well, while this is indeed a complicated subject, I have wonderful news for you.

There is hope out there for those whose exes profess they no longer love their boyfriends.

What is Love

what is love

Do you remember that old Saturday Night skit in which these two slick looking guys that would go to a bar looking to pick up women?

The song that played in the background was “What is Love” by Haddaway.

Of course, these guys were “losers” in every sense of word.  But is was fun watching them fall flat on their face as they would repeatedly try to turn up their macho personas to attract women.

Yep… I can hear the lyrics now…

What is love?

Baby, don’t hurt me

Don’t hurt me no more

If you follow the lyrics of the song further down the track you come across the line:

“what is wrong” and “give me a sign”.

So what is wrong you ask yourself?

Well, there is plenty wrong.

For starters, something went down between you and your ex girlfriend and now you are outside her circle of trust.

circle of trust


You are left wondering if she still has those very special loving feelings for you.

(FYI, if you want to learn how you can make your ex girlfriend fall in love with you I recommend reading this guide.)

The Love Doctor



The science of human behavior speaks to us on this topic and my advice is don’t give up the ship.

I turns out that love is a very “sticky” kind of thing.

Let’s turn our attention to what love isn’t.

It isn’t something you can summon up with some nice words.

It is not something you can dress up for and seduce, hoping to capture its essence.

You cannot command it from your ex-girlfriend.

Nor can you demand that she supply you with unconditional love.

You stand a better chance of howling at the wind and turning into a werewolf.

Love is one of those phenomenons of human existence that defies perfect definition.  If you think you fully understand it, then walk back to the end of the line because you have already failed the test.

The way I look at this deepest of human emotions is that it is multi faceted and operates on many variables.  Just doing a few thing does not bring the emotional bond into existence.

We can set the stage and seek to invite a person to the production, but much like “theater”, what really creates a lasting impression is highly subjective.

Trying to break down all of the variables in a logical manner, often leaves a person completely befuddled.

Love is not a commodity.

You can’t buy it or sell it.

You cannot force it into existence.

It is completely free. The harder you try to bring it into existence, the more elusive it becomes.

Chase after it, you seldom catch it.

But you can abruptly turn around and completely fall deeply and madly in love.

Hopefully, you are not depressed after reading all of this.

Indeed, the forces that influence loving feelings between you and your ex-girlfriend are in your favor.

So what do I mean by that?

Well, it is simple.  Once love is brought firmly into existence, it is hard to rub out.

Think about all of those times you spent with your ex girlfriend.  Think about all of those amazing experiences you shared with each other.  All of these episodes in your life starring you and your Ex usually add up to be powerful bonding experiences.

If you truly were in love with each other, then the force necessary to permanently pull you away from each other will need to be as powerful as the force that brought you together.

No doubt, the two of you are going through some really tough times right now.  I mean after all, you and your Ex have  “officially” gone through a breakup.

She may be telling you she wants nothing to do with you.  She may be telling you she hates you.  Hopefully you did not stoop so far to tell her the same thing.

The Gravity of Your Ex Girlfriend’s Love For You



The way I look at it, love, once it is formed between the two of you, acts like a force that pulls you together.

Breaking up that force is no easy task.

Yes, you can break up with a person.

You can get separated or divorced.

You can call each other names until you have exhausted the vocabulary.

But, that invisible force that acts upon the two of you is undeniable powerful.

Kind of like the force in Star Wars…



Ok…. you guys pretty much know I am a big movie buff, right?

What I find interesting about movies are the great action and adventure scenes or the cool science fiction scenarios.

I also like that every once in awhile a great movie will come along and not only entertain, but also teach something meaningful about life.

Sometimes you are introduced to an interesting and novel character.

Take Yoda, for example.

Now, I really love that little funny looking guy.

He was always full of clever little phrases.

And he offered up a few that might just help you.

If you were listening carefully,  you would have noticed Yoda speaks about this invisible force I described a bit earlier.

Do you remember the one I was talking about?

It’s that force that keeps you and your ex-girlfriend bonded closely together.

Some people call this force, “love”.

Well, I am just a simple minded guy here.  Maybe this invisible, attractive force is “love”.  Or maybe it is a product of that which we call “love”.  In other words, it comes into existence because of the loving feelings between you and your girlfriend.

I am really not sure which way it works.  And frankly, for purposes of this article, I don’t care.  I just want you to understand that there are powerful things at play, often beyond your full control.

Yoda describes this force that can act upon two people and it is indeed powerful.  He says:

yoda quote

You should know that escaping from this force is not easy.

If your ex-girlfriend truly loved you, then you have a big ally in the Force….. this bond that connected each of you to the other.

Now, Yoda is not the only one to speak about the Force.

Some people named Newton and Einstein have weighed in with their scientific thinking.

newton & Einstein

It turns out that when you take two heavenly bodies with mass, a gravitational attraction force is created.

Indeed, this force only exists because of the two bodies that are in close proximity to each other.

Attraction emerges.

The closer the bodies are to each other, the greater the Force.

Geez, are we talking about the science of gravity or human attraction?  You tell me!

I submit to you, that you have a lover’s trump card in your possession.

Those feelings of attraction and love that have grown over time between you and your ex-girlfriend have created a very special bond.

This bond is not easily broken.

Can the bond or force be severed?


But we are going to talk about the things that will enable and support this bond that exists between the two of you.

Your job is to steer away from the things that qualify as “Force busters” or “Bond busters”

Can your ex girlfriend just simply ignore all of the good things that happened between the two of you, which led her “falling in love” with you?  No easily.

What can you do to get the relationship back on track?  Well, have you check out my e-book, “Ex-Girlfriend Recovery Pro” yet?  That would be a great start!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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But I do have a few ideas I want to shoot your way in just a moment.

But let’s talk a bit about the signs of love.

After all, despite all these fine words I have just written, you may still need additional convincing that your Ex still loves you.

What might that look like?

Well, let’s see.

Your Ex-Girlfriend’s Signs of Love

There was a classic book written years ago, called “1984”.


It introduced us to what is called an “Orwellian” world.

In this world, many concepts are the opposite of what they really mean.

Black is actually white.

Good is really evil.

And everything you do or say is constantly being monitored.

Hey, it kind of sounds like that movie V for Vendetta!

v for vendetta

Sounds familiar?




Well welcome to my world of dispensing of relationship advice.

In my world, you advise people to institute the “No Contact Rule” so that eventually the person’s ex WILL contact them.

When you are trying to figure out if you ex-girlfriend still cares about you deeply, you need to apply both the traditional real world tests to evaluate if love still exists; and you need to utilize Orwellian world logic to figure out if your Ex still has the hots for you.

So what the heck does all this mean?

Let’s try some examples.

In the traditional world you can impose certain logical tests.

If you read the signs correctly, then things are looking up.

In the traditional world of relationships, signs of love would include:

  • Everything you say seems perfect to her.  She loves the way you look, dress, and talk.
  • She holds that gaze ever so long.  She reaches out with her hand first and squeezes tight
  • She agrees with essentially everything you say and is extremely supportive
  • You girlfriend is not just focused on sex, but it is clear she want to be by your side.  The emotionally connection is powerful
  • You Ex agrees that she wants nothing more than to have an exclusive relationship with YOU.
  • There are times where your girlfriend acts like she is obsessed with you and can’t seem to get enough of your time and space.
  • She is openly affectionate in public and touches you freely and naturally
  • She wants to make things for you and take care of you.  Whether it is cupcakes, dinner, or some kind of special craft, she is thrilled to turn her energy toward creating something for you.
  • Your girlfriend is agreeable to compromising for you, whether it is schedule related or choice of movie, she is all too happy to accommodate.
  • When the discussion turns to the future, you are a big part of it.

This is what we would expect in the traditional world of love. Everything just seems to slide nicely in place.  What she says and does, makes plenty of sense and the puzzle pieces fit.

Normally, you have little doubt of her undying affections.

Life in this world of relationship connections is sublime!

It is a beautiful place to live in.

But guess what?

I am a believer of multi-worlds.

Sometimes the world or experience you are having is not so traditional in the sense of things making sense.

Indeed, in a moment’s notice, you may find yourself off world.

In these situations, you are wondering just what the heck is going on because now your lover’s (or ex-girlfriend’s) behavior seems completely upside down.

Welcome To Your Ex Girlfriends Orwellian World

orwellian world

Ok, maybe it’s not that graphic in this new world but you get the idea for what I am going for here.

If you and your Ex broke it off and you are now wondering if she still really cares about you, it will be quite a feat for you to put the puzzle pieces together in this world.

You have to accept that your old girlfriend has slipped the surly bonds of earth and just about all the behavior from her will be completely foreign to you.

You have heard the old saying about men being from Mars and women are from Venus.

Well, forget that, because in this case, if your ex-girlfriend has entered into Orwellian space, you will be dealing with someone who is no longer even in our solar system (emotionally speaking)!

And why is that?

Because in this world I am talking about, your ex-girlfriend could say things that mean the complete opposite.  You will require a translator.

Fortunately for you, I have acquired a very special skill that makes me conversant in the Orwellian language.

So I can be your translator!

Here is how it works.

I will tell you what she may have said or is probably thinking, then I will translate it for you.

Will all this make her come back.


But you stand a good chance of getting your sanity back.

Oh, and by the way, this translation of what your former girlfriend is really thinking only applies if she  “really loved you”.

I am not talking, a passing infatuation.

Your Ex’s feelings for you had to be the real deal.

Ready to play along?

So let’s get to it!

“I hate you”


“I am really mad at him…so pissed.  He just doesn’t have a clue.  I can’t believe how he just doesn’t get it.  But I love him so much.  Maybe I need to teach him a lesson.  Gosh, I am so angry at him.  I don’t know what to do.”

Do you see how easy this is?

You and your girl break it off.

You start wondering if she still loves you.

She says some god awful things about you and now you have some serious doubts.  But you use the “Chris Seiter Orwellian Translator” and now you understand a bit more about the predicament you are in.

Seriously, you ex-girlfriend is likely still very much head over heels for you. But you have some work ahead of you to make things right.

In this strange new world that you Ex may be operating from, you can get easily confused.  Trust me, given this place she reside in now…she is confused as well.

She tells you she hates you, but she doesn’t really.

She spends most of her time trying to ignore you…but all she can do is think about you.

She has blocked you on every social media site that ever existed…but she dreams of you and wishes that things were back to the way they were in the good times.

You girlfriend of the past is probably even using the No Contact Rule on you.  But in reality, all she really wants is to talk to you and be held by you.

Welcome the Orwellian world of relationships gone awry.

Making Deposits into the Love Account

deposits love account


So you are probably thinking by now…

Ok, Chris, if I stand a decent chance given this ‘force’ that you say still acts upon me and my girl, tell me what I can do”.

Geez, do I really have to spell it out?

Just go out and pick up my Ex-girlfriend Recovery PRO e-books!

Your game plan, along with all kinds of “what ifs” and “what you should do” is covered in great detail.


You are desperate to know something now?

Ok…OK.  I got you covered.

Generally speaking, you need to start making some deposits into your girlfriend’s trust account.

You see, every relationship can be measured by the capital that is invested in its emotional trust account.  It can also be called a “love account”.  When you get married, this becomes a “joint” account.  You are both vested in it.

There are two ways this account works.

It can grow, by you making deposits.

The more deposits you put into your account the better it is for your relationship.

So what are deposits?

Deposits are things like:

  • Telling your girl you love her and saying it first
  • Showing kindness and consideration
  • Behaving in a way that promotes trust and reliability
  • Listening intently to everything your girlfriend says, without interrupting her or making her feel wrong
  • Doing everything you can to make your girlfriend feel safe

(Side Note: You need to put these deposits into the “love account” at the right time. Timing is everything! What is the correct time? Where you know where to go to find that out.)

These are just a few examples of making deposits.

Do I need to tell you what withdrawals are?

I don’t think so.

I believe you know already.

Let’s just say that watching withdrawals being made from the relationship “trust account” is not a pretty sight to behold.

Now this all sounds fine and dandy. You think to yourself, “yea, I can learn to be the best version of myself and do a much better just of building up the old trust account”.

But then you go on to ask yourself, “how on earth am I going to do all of that when my Ex won’t even give me the time of day?”

Ok, I have a secret weapon for you.

secret weapon

It all starts with your texting strategy.  By the way, did you know I have written the mother of all texting relationship books?

It’s true.

It’s called “The Texting Bible“.

Check it out if you are looking for the “Master’s” version of how to use texting to re-light the fuse with your ex-girlfriend.

It is the most powerful secret weapon I could ever offer up to you, short of actually providing individual relationship coaching.

Right now, I am sorry to say, I have had to put my coaching days on the back burner.

With a new baby, I am happy when I have time to even crawl into bed.  Thank goodness I put the Texting Bible together.

It has cut down on a lot of questions I have gotten.

But enough about me.

Let’s get back to you.

We started off this entire conversation with the question of whether the girl you broke up with, but care deeply about, is still fond of you.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall – Does My Girlfriend Love Me At All

Like I told you earlier, the embers of love are very difficult to completely flame out.

All of those habits and routines that you and your ex girl have grown accustomed to are still very much part of both of your psyches.

The process of bonding closely with another human being, particularly when it is the opposite sex, is something that has great staying power.

Unless you have royally f@#ked up, then forces at play are on your side.  It could take some time.  When emotions start running really high, logic inevitably will run low.

Your girlfriend may be going through a bit of a crazy and confusing time on the emotional side.  Chances are you are too.

Whatever the catalyst that caused the two of you to split, my best advice is that time is going to be a big ally.  It takes time to collect one’s thoughts.  Both of you probably need  considerable time to draw closer to your real feelings.

As you know from my other writings, I am a fan of employing the No Contact Rule in most relationship situations where a serious breakup has occurred.

This affords you an opportunity to get your “s@#t together”.  Even if you think you have it all together, you probably don’t.

But in closing, I want to reinforce some good news.  You and your ex girlfriend were an item, right?

You guys were close.  You cared for each other.  You told each other that you love the other.

Over time a connection was made.  A bond was formed.  A “love account” was opened.

When you are in love, couples practice, subconsciously, a phenomenon called “mirroring”.

You end up copying each other.  It is as if your spirits have merged.  If you sit a certain way, she does as well.  If you watch a certain show, she does also.  If there is music she likes, you learn to enjoy it.  You learn to anticipate each other’s words and needs, even before they are uttered or are exhibited.

I suppose that is where the term “soulmates” got started. If you are together with someone long enough, you become part of each other in a way.

So if you are wondering what she might be thinking, right at this time.  There is a mighty good chance she is also thinking about you as well.  She has probably been reading up on break-ups and and feelings of love.  She too is likely wondering if you love her.

Just know that this mirror image effect in how you both interact is also not something that just dissipates away in a matter of days or weeks.

Irrespective of whether she has doubts about you and even if she is seriously considering taking a different course in her life, just know that the months following a break-up more often results in couples reuniting.

Wrapping Up

Are you ready for her to come back into your life?

Have you become the best version of yourself as I teach in my e-books?

I certainly hope so because some pretty amazing things can happen when two people are motivated to improve their relationship.

So do me a favor.  After you have had some time to process all of the information, take an opportunity to COMMENT below.  You may have a question.  Or you might have an idea you want to share with our readers.

Either way, we really appreciate you weighing in!	

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