(Full disclosure: I am a female and while it is probably considered treason for me to be sharing these secrets with you I’m going to do it anyways.)
So, you recently went through a break up and you find yourself wondering,
“Does she miss me? Is my ex over me?”
When a girl breaks up with you, she’s probably going to be stubborn about how she is feeling. She’s not going to want to admit to you that she misses you.
This would mean that you “win,” right?
No, not at all.
Even if the break up was entirely her idea, there is a good chance that she is going to be missing you. She may even secretly want you back.
A few weeks ago one of my fellow writers, Sarah, posted a really interesting article where she went to Starbucks and surveyed ten women randomly.
She asked them all one very easy question,
Do you still miss your most recent ex boyfriend?
70% or 7 out of 10 said that they did.
So, there is definitely a high likelihood that your ex is still missing you and may potentially want you back.
But if she isn’t going to admit to it outright then how will you know?
Well, that’s what I’m going to tell you today.
Remember though, everyone is different and what is true for one woman may not necessarily be true for another.
Without further ado I’d like to introduce you to the top four signs that your ex girlfriend isn’t over you and may potentially want you back,
- She texts you “by mistake” or when she’s drunk
- She lashes out at you
- She views your social media
- She reacts in an interesting way to the no contact rule.
Alright, now that we have a general idea of what we are looking for lets elaborate on these four signs a bit.
1. She texts you “by mistake” or when she’s drunk.
Have you ever texted someone?
It’s not easy to accidentally send a text to someone.
It doesn’t happen very often. Like, ever.
So, if you are getting an “Oh sorry, that wasn’t meant for you” message, don’t buy it.
It was meant for you and was just an attempt at grabbing some attention.
Now, lets turn our attention to drunk texts.
I’ve seen a lot of drunk texts in my time,
The drunk text is most likely another clue that she’s thinking of you.
They say a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.
If she is thinking about you when she’s drinking, it’s a good sign that she is thinking about you sober too.
2. She lashes out at you
When emotions are high and two people are angry they tend to say things that they don’t mean.
Case in point,
If your ex reaches out to you after the breakup with anger it can actually be a positive.
The opposite of love is not anger, it’s indifference.
If your ex is angry, it is a product of emotions.
And emotions are good!
If your ex becomes angry after finding out that you are dating or speaking to other women, then it is an even better sign that she still has feelings for you.
Women have a difficult time expressing to an ex when things hurt their feelings and will instead use alternate “secondary” emotions to compensate… including anger.
3. She views your Social Media
While you can’t see everyone who views your profiles like Facebook or Instagram, there are some accounts that can give you clues into if your ex is keeping track of you.
Your Instagram story and your Snapchat story both show you who views them.
If your ex is consistently looking at your story, then that is a pretty clear sign that she is still thinking about you and missing you.
Another thing to pay attention to is how quickly she views the story. If she always views it right away then great, she’s sitting by the phone waiting for you to pop up. Concurrently though, if she always waits until the last minute to view the stories then she me be trying to throw you off the trail, which is a good sign as well.
Pay Attention to What She Posts
For women, posting on social media is a huge outlet. What they post is their way of letting you know what they are thinking without actually admitting it to you or themselves. Pay careful attention to what your ex is posting on her social media accounts. There are many indicators that your ex may be missing you.
- If she posts about how carefree and happy she is
- Inspirational memes and quotes
- If she posts on your social media
- She’s trying too hard
- She blocks you
If she is posting about how happy and carefree she is, be wary.
Happy people don’t feel the need to tell others that they are happy. If she is constantly boasting about how perfect things are she is putting on a show and is probably also trying to make you jealous.
Inspirational memes and quotes.
Your Ex may not come right out and say she misses you but she may make it obvious that she is hurting. Need some proof? Here are some sappy things that I posted to my Facebook page after my Ex and I broke up:
Powerful stuff right?
Posting things like this are obvious indications that she is hurting and you are likely the cause. These things can come up on Instagram or on Facebook. Your ex may make status updates about “redirecting” or “big changes”these or small clues.
Another place to check into would be the hashtags that she chooses to use on Instagram. However, while social media can give you clues about how your ex is feeling it is unhealthy to become obsessed with checking her pages. Doing this may have negative side effects.
You may see her with other people or saying things to other people that may hurt you further… or you may find that constantly checking her social media platforms makes it difficult for you to focus on yourself and your own self-improvement.
If she posts on your social media.
This can include but original posts, comments, and “likes”.
If your ex goes through and likes the things that you are posting then that’s a good sign.
It shows she is not only seeing the progress that you are making in bettering yourself, but it also shows she wants to give you just a gentle reminder that she is still there. Make sure that whatever you are posting on social media paints you in a positive light.
You don’t want her to see anything that might push you farther away.
She’s trying too hard.
If your ex posts pictures constantly of her out partying with friends or all over various guys then she may just be trying to put on a show. If you get the impression that she is trying a little too hard, then she probably is. Try not to let her actions make you jealous or angry or even that upset.
Take it as a good sign, even if it is painful to see.
She blocks you
This one may seem a little confusing.
How can getting blocked be a good thing? Being blocked is a negative way of reaching out. Blocking someone means they have made you feel something, either negative or positive.
After a break up, even negative emotions are indicators that your ex still cares. Your ex is either blocking you as a way of trying to get your attention, or she is blocking you because seeing you bettering yourself is painful for her.
While it is understandably frustrating to get blocked- try and look at it as a good thing.
These are all pretty good signs that your ex is missing you.
However, if she misses you this does not necessarily mean she wants you back. She may just be missing having someone to be close with or she may be missing your friendship. So what are some indicators that she wants you back?
4. How she reacts to the no contact rule
After the break up you are going to go through a no contact period. During this time period your Ex may not reach out at all. That’s okay. Don’t stress if that is the case. She may just be too proud to reach out. However, if she does reach out to you during the No Contact period there are some indicators that she either misses you or wants to get back together. It’s important to note the difference.
If she reaches out with anger:
Reaching out with anger is an indication that she misses you. You not responding to her texts upsets her and hurts her feelings, which is why she is getting angry. However, it does not necessarily mean she wants to get back together.
If she says she misses you or regrets the breakup
If your Ex texts you during the No Contact period and says she misses you and regrets the break up this is an indicator that she wants to get back together with you. However, if she says it once don’t take that as an excuse to break no contact. Your ex needs to reach out with these types of texts multiple times in order for you to be certain that she is not only just sad and lonely but actually, truly means it.
If she says she “misses your friendship”
Texting you to say she misses your friendship is not a sign that she wants to get back together. She took the effort of putting in that it was your friendship specifically. This is probably exactly the case. In some situations she may be trying to maintain some pride by making her feelings seem less intense than they actually are, however, this is not always the case and is still, not a reason to break the no contact rule.
If she tells her friends that she misses you/wants you back
If you have any close friends that you share with your ex then you are in luck. Try not to confide too much in this person as they may share the information with your ex. However, if you do end up talking about the breakup and the friend reveals to you that your Ex has said she wants you back or misses you take this as a good sign. Women will often confide in at least one other person. Just make sure that whoever you are talking to is a trustworthy source as you don’t want to get your hopes up over false information.
Important note: The only way to be 100% sure that your ex wants to get back together with you is if she tells you that she wants you back.
While the signs that your ex misses you may be accurate, they are not 100% certain. The reason that I am pointing this out is it is easy to misread signals and get your hopes up. This can lead to you being hurt all over again or reaching out to your Ex in a way that could be embarrassing for you if she does not feel the same way that you do.
But what if she doesn’t show you any of the signs that she misses you or wants you back?
You may find yourself wondering:
“Is my Ex over me?”
It’s fairly difficult to tell when a woman stops having feelings for you entirely. If a woman truly wants to hide her feelings, then she will do everything that she can to hide them. So while it may seem she has moved on and is doing perfectly fine without you, she may be hurting privately.
When you find yourself wondering, “is my ex over me” it is actually going to benefit you more to assume she IS over you. Ouch right? Don’t panic though. There’s a reason that you should feel this way.
Often times an ex comes back just when it seems like you have moved on from them. If you maintain the mindset that your Ex is over you it will give you the space and time to focus on yourself instead of on them. You can grow and develop your health, wealth, and relationships.
Your Ex is going to see your improvements and it will draw her back to you.
Another, final, important note is that emotions are fluid. Even if your ex tells you that she hates you and never wants to see you again, she will likely not feel like this forever. This is an important thing to remember. Even if your Ex moves on, she may come back. If she dislikes you now, she may start to feel differently once she sees the positive changes that you are making in yourself.
(Article Written By Shannon)