When my clients are battling through a breakup, one of the things that they often share in common is a sense of feeling worthless.
That is the byproduct of being dumped. No matter how strong you are in the head, you can’t help but feel discarded and abandoned when your ex drops you.
This feeling of worthlessness can cause even the most balanced of minds to descend into depression.
Today we are going to tackle what an ex girlfriend might say or do that causes you to feel disrespected, inadequate, and very small.
Then we are going to talk about what you can do to recover from the awful feeling of being rejected.
9 Ways My Ex Girlfriend Made Me Feel Worthless
There are certainly more than nine ways a person can make you feel worthless.
It runs the gambit from angry and ugly words to insensitive and selfish actions.
But for the sake of this article, I am going to focus on the top issues my clients have run into when trying to pick up the pieces of a disappointing breakup.
Ever wonder why you feel nervous when you run into your ex?
Do you ever feel the crush of anxiety when the two of you finally face off?
Are you even ready for such an encounter after being dragged through the coals?
If your ex is making you feel sick and sad and you are not sure what is going on, take it from me…you’re probably harboring some feelings of worthlessness.
After being rejected over and over again, it’s hard not to feel vulnerable.
Confidence in yourself can go right out the door.
But it is helpful to know that what is said or done by your ex girlfriend is not always what it seems.
The emotional roller coaster following a breakup can be filled with many surprises and how she reacts to you may have many psychological underpinnings.
So let’s examine what your ex might be saying or doing that makes you feel horrible and then let’s try to make some sense of it all.
1. My Ex Tells Me She Should Have Broken Up With Me Long Ago
It’s not easy to deal with fragile feelings of self when your ex tells you numerous times she should have broken up with you long ago.
These kind of statements from your ex can cause you to question your worth and ability to attract a woman.
Invariably, you will ask yourself if things were so bad this long, why didn’t she say something sooner?
You may ask, why is she so insistent that the two of you are a terrible match?
It can be complicated when trying to make sense of what she is saying now versus how she behaved when the two of your were together.
Just know that more often than not, words and actions are not always reflective of the underlying truth.
2. She Texted Me Out of the Blue That She Found Someone Else
It can be a crushing shot from the dark when you hear from your ex girlfriend that she has found someone else.
Could it really be true? Or is she playing the jealousy card?
I know it’s tough to hear this kind of thing from the woman you love.
All sorts of thoughts will cross your mind. But it’s important to understand that just because she professes she has found some other guy, doesn’t mean that it is the end of all things.
It could be the beginning of your ex learning that the grass is not always greener.
No doubt, hearing she has found someone else can be a real blow to your ego.
But don’t let go of the fact that sometimes an ex will be drawn into a rebound relationship for all sorts of reasons.
This is not time to give up on the relationship.
3. She Cheated On Me After She Told Me She Loved Me
There is probably nothing more painful than learning from your ex that she cheated on you. One day you are confident with the notion that the two of you are really clicking. Then suddenly your world comes crashing down after you find out that she is sleeping with another guy.
Not only can it make you feel worthless and discarded, but learning of this kind of betrayal can change your view about everything…..your self value, her degree of commitment, and even your ability to trust in a woman again.
But while it won’t make you feel much better right now, just know that cheating is not that rare and and often the cheater comes to realize they have made a huge mistake.
What it takes to move forward with success is a strategic game plan.
4. Every Time I Call or Text Her She Says Cruel Things
Sometimes, whatever you and your ex girlfriend had in the past, it’s simply not going to be enough to overcome her desire to say cruel things.
If this is your ex girlfriend’s make-up, then perhaps you should be grateful that the two of you are broken up.
No doubt, we can all say things we later regret. No one is immune to this.
But if your ex girlfriend frequently texts you things that border on cruel and abusive, then it’s probably time to chalk up this relationship as a learning experience and move forward without her.
5. My Ex Tells Me I Am a Nobody To Her
Very often I will hear from clients who tell me that their ex girlfriend despises them. An ex will sometimes go out of the way to make it clear that you are are “nobody” to them.
I suppose, depending on the factors that preceded all of this, one could conclude that your ex girlfriend wants nothing to do with you.
It would seem obvious, right?
But then again, if she keeps telling you this sort of thing, particularly when you did not invite the conversation, then the words themselves may actually betray her real feelings.
It is very possible that while she is insisting on one hand that you mean nothing to her, what she is actually saying is that she is still hurt and mad at you.
Perhaps in that moment she wants you gone. But time has a way of smoothing things out.
Hence, for the time being, it would be best to give her plenty of space and avoid trying to respond to her in a negative way.
Indeed, responding to her at all can lead to more of the same. She may still be purging a lot of the negative feelings that are washing over her.
So don’t set yourself up to be her punching bag.
6. My Ex Girlfriend Tells Her Friends That I Was Her Worst Boyfriend
If this is what is going down in your relationship then it would be best if you avoid taking the bait.
Because that is what is happening here…she is is likely baiting you to respond or do something.
More often than not, if your ex’s friends are showing up in your life and telling you that she thinks you were her worst boyfriend ever…by far…then it would be in your best interest not to get caught up in making similar claims about her.
Indeed, you may want to take the contrarian approach and tell her friends that you ex girlfriend was a great girlfriend and that you regret things got sideways.
Chances are that some of your statements will find its way back to her, in effect neutralizing her concerted efforts to insult you.
Avoid playing the blame game.
It will make you feel better about yourself and it allows you to keep your options open.
Those options tend to dry up if you start trading blame, back and forth, as most couples end up doing.
Who knows, you may ultimately find a way to recover the relationship if you choose to take the high road.
7. She Made Fun of Our Sex Life
So if your ex girlfriend is trying to humiliate you by making ugly comments about your sex life, then instead of feeling badly about what she is saying, look at it in a different way.
Ask yourself, what kind of person would stoop so low to say such things.
The answer is usually that such a person is a poor quality individual, not worthy of your love and attention.
Her words and claims say more about her than anything else.
It’s time to turn the page.
8. My Ex Girlfriend Ridiculed Me On Facebook Warning Other Women Not To Date Me
I am seeing this more and more.
An ex girlfriend will be angry with you over something.
So instead of seeking to move on and find her healing zone, she will take a turn to the dark path.
Sometimes an ex may say such things because they are looking to hurt you in anyway they can.
But other times an ex girlfriend may be harboring conflicted feelings and part of her reasoning, whether she realizes it or not, is to keep you away from finding her replacement.
You see, deep down inside she may not be ready to let you go and she doesn’t want any competition for your affections.
9. My Ex Told Me That She Was Just Using Me To Make Another Guy Jealous
This can be a particularly painful revelation if it is true.
Again, bear in mind that what your ex might say after the breakup needs to be understood from many different angles.
In time, the real truth of what she saw in you will be revealed. Yes, it could be true she was using you.
Unfortunately, people will do this kind of thing. Sometimes it can start innocently enough, then turn fully into a relationship built around deceit.
But sometimes, even if your ex makes such a claim, it doesn’t make it so.
Relationships are full of complexities and certainly it is wrong for you to be used in such a manner. And if it turns out this was her gambit from the beginning, then that should be a relationship breaker.
Why invest any more of your affections on someone who is so calculating and selfish?
In conclusion, no matter what your ex girlfriend might say or do to make you feel worthless, you should be reminded that it is her behavior that is at fault, not yours.
The fix is for you to realize that there are many paths that are always unfolding before you.
Learning from the past and accepting that sometimes we can choose wrong in who we get involved with is just part of our lessons learned.
Then again, in some of these situations the ex may be deserving of another chance if there are extenuating circumstances.
Time, it is said, is the ultimate truth machine.
In time, it will be clear to you what your ex truly wants and if it aligns with what you need.
Having a sensible plan that can help you work though this entire process can be part of the solution.
Fortunately, that is what I do best, so feel free to take a deeper dive into my Ex Recovery Program.