By Chris Seiter

Published on October 29th, 2023

Breakups are never easy to deal with, especially with today’s interconnected digital world. Sometimes, even after parting ways, the interest lingers, leading one party (or both) to ‘check up’ on the other.

So what are the possible indications or signs that your ex is still interested in you and wants to know what is going on in your life.  It turns out there are numerous ways your ex can check to see where your head is and how you are doing.

Below are 23 signs that your ex might be keeping tabs on you, along with an exploration of the motivations behind such behavior.

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23 Signs Your Ex Is Checking Up On You

  1. Increased Social Media Activity: They like, comment, or share your posts more frequently than before.
  2. Mutual Friends Say So: Friends might mention that your ex asked about you or discussed you recently.
  3. Unexplained Texts: They message you about recent events in your life that you haven’t shared with them.
  4. Frequent Profile Visits: Tools like LinkedIn notify you when someone views your profile. If it’s them often, it’s a clue.
  5. Nostalgic Messages: They bring up old memories or inside jokes out of the blue.
  6. Checking Your Online Status: They seem to be online or active every time you are.
  7. Asking About Your Love Life: Directly or indirectly inquiring about your current dating status.
  8. Anonymous Calls: You receive calls from unknown numbers, only to hear silence or a hang-up.
  9. Bumping into You ‘Accidentally’: Suddenly, they’re at your favorite spots or events you attend.
  10. Reacting Emotionally: They display strong reactions to your posts, especially those hinting at moving on or new relationships.
  11. Revisiting Shared Places: Posting or checking in at places you both used to visit.
  12. Staying in Touch with Your Family: They maintain or initiate contact with your family members.
  13. Watching Your Stories: They are always one of the first to view your Instagram or Snapchat stories.
  14. Engaging with Old Posts: Liking or commenting on older photos and statuses.
  15. Unfollowing then Refollowing: It might indicate they were checking your profile and accidentally hit a button.
  16. Sending Random Links or Memes: Especially if they align with your current activities or interests.
  17. Avoiding New Partners: They steer clear of discussing or interacting with your new significant other.
  18. Using Shared Accounts: If you notice activity on old shared streaming or shopping accounts.
  19. Keeping Shared Photos: They haven’t removed pictures of you two together from social media.
  20. Returning Your Belongings: They find reasons to return old items or ask for theirs back.
  21. Remembering Details: Mentioning specifics about your life that you haven’t shared with them recently.
  22. Active on Shared Platforms: Increased activity on shared platforms like shared gaming or discussion forums.
  23. Subtle Recommendations: Suggesting songs, movies, or books that resonate with your shared past.

Why Would Your Ex Check Up on You?

  1. Unresolved Emotions: They might still have feelings for you and are trying to gauge where you stand.
  2. Seeking Closure: Some relationships end abruptly, and they might be seeking answers or closure.
  3. Jealousy: They want to know if you’ve moved on or are seeing someone else.
  4. Regret: They might regret the breakup and are contemplating reconciliation.
  5. Concern: Regardless of the relationship’s end, they might still care about your well-being.
  6. Curiosity: Pure human nature. Sometimes, curiosity about how an ex is doing can be a driving factor.

Remember, while these signs can indicate interest, it’s essential to maintain boundaries. If you’re uncomfortable with their attention, communicate your feelings or consider adjusting your privacy settings. However, if you believe there’s room for reconciliation, these signs might be a starting point for a conversation.

What Should You Do If Your Ex Checks On You?

When you discover that your ex is checking up on you, a whirlwind of emotions might come into play. From flattery and nostalgia to confusion or anxiety, your reactions can be varied. Here’s a structured approach on how to handle such situations.  Bear in mind that if you are engaged in No Contact, then your action and response may be somewhat different than suggested below.

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Before taking any action, it’s crucial to understand and acknowledge how you feel about your ex reaching out or checking up on you. Are you indifferent, curious, pleased, or agitated?
  2. Determine Their Intent: Understand the nature of their check-ins. Is it a one-off instance spurred by a moment of nostalgia, or is there a consistent pattern suggesting deeper emotions?
  3. Set Clear Boundaries: If you’re uncomfortable with their attention or feel it infringes upon your privacy, kindly but firmly set boundaries. Communicate that you’d appreciate more distance or request them to limit their online engagement with you.
  4. Decide on Communication: Depending on how you feel, you can choose to respond or not. If you’re considering reconciliation or remaining friends, open a line of communication. If not, it’s okay to limit or avoid interaction.
  5. Stay Authentic: If you decide to communicate, stay true to your feelings. Avoid playing mind games or trying to incite jealousy. Honest communication is always the best approach.
  6. Avoid Overanalyzing: If they liked a photo or viewed a story, it might be casual browsing. Not every action has profound meaning, so avoid overanalyzing each interaction.
  7. Guard Your Emotional Well-being: If their check-ins evoke strong negative emotions or rekindle past traumas, consider seeking support. Talk to close friends, family, or consider professional counseling.
  8. Adjust Privacy Settings: If you’re concerned about privacy, review your social media settings. Limit what’s visible to non-friends or specific people to ensure your comfort.
  9. Stay Open to Reconciliation (if you want): If you believe there’s potential for rekindling the relationship and their check-ins seem genuine, consider discussing the possibility of a fresh start. However, ensure you’re not revisiting old patterns.
  10. Seek Perspective: Talk to someone you trust about the situation. A close friend, family member, or relationship expert can offer valuable insights, allowing you to see the situation from different angles.
  11. Stay Focused on Your Growth: Whether it’s pursuing new hobbies, career goals, or personal development, stay focused on your journey. Don’t let the past distract you from the present or future.
  12. Remember It’s Okay to Move On: If you’ve outgrown the relationship or feel it’s best left in the past, it’s okay. Everyone’s journey is unique, and moving on can be a testament to personal growth.

In conclusion, an ex checking up on you can be a tricky situation to deal with. However, by staying attuned to your feelings, establishing clear boundaries, and focusing on your well-being, you can handle such scenarios with grace and clarity.

Whether you choose to reopen a chapter or pen a new one, ensure it aligns with your current desires and needs as well as the Game Plan you have employed to get your ex back.	

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