He knew it the moment he did it…
It was a mistake.
Instead of thinking,
“Man, I totally nailed this beautiful chick”
He was thinking,
“What will Cassandra think? Would she even care that I slept with someone else?””
This was probably what was going through the mind of Billy, one of the men who I had the pleasure of working with personally a few years ago. You see, it started out like every email I get,
“Help me Chris… Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah CHEATING… Blah Blah Blah.”
Of course, I had read thousands of situations just like his and I thought I had seen it all.
Perhaps I had become numb to anything that had the word “ex” in it.
Maybe I was becoming arrogant.
After all, I thought I knew everything there was to know about exes.
It wasn’t until he said one phrase that I stopped scanning and started reading,
“I can’t live with myself… I hurt her so much… How can I make this better?”
It seems so simple, right?
Like something that I shouldn’t do a double take on.
But I did…
Something about that phrase froze me in place. You see, it made me think back to my very first relationship ever and revisit what went wrong.
I could sympathize with him.
Even though I didn’t have a lot of experience feeling helpless I have felt it one time in my entire life and it made that much of an impression on me that I knew that this was the person I wanted to help no matter what.
I wanted to help him feel less helpless.
I wanted to help him feel like he was in control.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?
Take the quizI think you can see where this is going, right?
Today I am going to help you get control back. Now, is that a guarantee?
No, I can’t necessarily guarantee that after reading this article you are going to have control of the current predicament you have found yourself in. BUT I can guarantee that you won’t feel helpless.
But more on that in a second.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room.
Hurting Your Ex Girlfriend
Have you ever looked up the definition of “hurt” before?
No?
Well, let’s ask my best friend in the world, Google,
According to Google,
Hurt = To cause physical pain or injury to.
Now, do you think that when a man comes to this site to figure out how to get his ex girlfriend back if he hurt her that he is talking about hurting her in this way?
God I hope not because that means I have been helping a bunch of abusers get back with their exes.
Luckily, I doubt that the men who come to this site are meaning “hurt” in this way.
They probably mean that they are hurting their exes emotionally.
Hmm…
Maybe an example is needed here.
Ok, lets take Billy’s situation with his ex girlfriend Cassandra above.
Billy cheated on Cassandra with another woman. Obviously Cassandra found out and ended the relationship after that.
Why?
Because the news that Billy had cheated on her HURT her.
Did it hurt her physically?
No, it hurt her emotionally.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?
Take the quizAnd that leads me to my next point.
This article is all about how to get an ex girlfriend back if you hurt her. In other words, I am operating under the assumption that you fu*ked things up with your ex in some way, shape or form.
Now, there are a lot of ways that a man can hurt a woman emotionally.
- Cheating on her
- Fighting with her
- Putting her down all the time
- Flirting with other girls but not actually cheating on her
- Disrespecting her choices
- Putting her low on the priority totem pole
And those are just the most popular ways.
I am sure there are THOUSANDS of ways that a woman can be hurt emotionally but I don’t have the time or patience to write out a thousand situations.
Speaking of situations.
One of the weakest aspects of reading about getting an ex back online is the fact that no matter what article you stumble across it isn’t going to be geared toward your situation totally.
Maybe it just offers general advice…
Maybe it doesn’t even offer that.
Here is my point, I have been making an effort on Ex Girlfriend Recovery lately to gear my articles towards all situations and this one isn’t going to be any different.
So, here is how I have decided to structure this article.
This is going to be a two part article.
PART ONE: I am going to dish out general advice on the strategies you can use to overcome your ex girlfriend being hurt.
PART TWO: I am then going to dish out more strategies directly relating to each of the situations above.
In other words, you are going to be getting the best of both worlds with this article.
Ya… We are just that cool here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?
Take the quizPART ONE: Strategies To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If You Hurt Her
Alright, lets turn our attention to some of the strategies that you can use to get your ex girlfriend back if you ended up hurting her.
Now, I do want to say that before we get started this section is going to be pretty comprehensive. However, it isn’t going to be as comprehensive in a technical aspect.
What do I mean by that?
Well, I am only focusing on big picture stuff here. If you want more technical aspects of getting your girlfriend back like exact things to say or timelines on what has to happen I suggest you check out Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.
Now that, that is out of the way lets talk about the strategies that you can use if you hurt your ex girlfriend.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?
Take the quiz
This graphic encompasses the main strategies that I think you should be employing to get your ex girlfriend back if you hurt her.
Well…. there’s no use beating around the bush.
Lets just get right into it.
The Apology (Not To Be Confused With Begging)
Believe it or not this may be the single most effective thing that you can do.
Yesterday when I was mapping out this entire article I did some research online to try to figure out what some of my peers were saying about the subject of hurting an ex girlfriend and the truth is that I couldn’t find anything that I connected with which is rare.
What do I mean by that?
Well, when I am researching an article I usually read a lot into the topic and through that reading something makes a light bulb go off in my head and I know exactly what I want to write about but I had a lot of trouble with this article.
Seriously… I was on the verge of scraping it.
And it was making me mad.
I hate failing when it comes to you guys.
Anyways, my wife must have picked up on the fact that I was very visibly upset and she said two simple words that changed everything,
“What’s wrong?”
I explained my predicament to her.
I was reading a lot on the subject but I didn’t necessarily agree with anything I was reading.
I had ideas but none that were worthy of writing about.
That’s when she started chiming in with her personal experiences.
Let’s hit the pause button for a second.
My wife has had some horrible experiences with her exes. Hell, she’s been cheated on and wronged in more ways than I can count so when she chimes in with any of her personal experiences I sit up and listen.
That’s when the light-bulb went off in my head.
“You have had some horrible exes, right? And I think you have even taken a few back who have hurt you. What did they do to convince you? What worked on you?”
Oh, and in case you are wondering what my wife looks like,
Ya… don’t think that I am dumb. I know you are probably sitting there wondering how hot she is.
The Answer = VERY!
But that’s besides the point.
What worked on her was a heartfelt apology.
I believe her exact words were,
“To be honest… When my ex apologized for what he had done and he was literally crying in front of me all I could think was, “please don’t cry.” But you can’t tell the men that Chris.”
On the contrary, I can and I will Jen!
Look, I am not above anything.
My one goal with this website is to help you in your situation to the best of my ability and if that means recommending something that I may personally think puts you at a disadvantage then I will do it so long as I have seen it work.
And if a woman as beautiful as my wife is telling me that it worked on her…
Then I am left to assume that it’s going to work on other women.
But what kind of apology are we talking about here?
Hmm… that’s a very good question.
If you look at my wife’s statement above then you will notice that she never mentioned begging was a part of the apology.
She also did mention tears which I will admit works on me (can’t believe I just admitted that.)
Basically if you want to win a fight with me the best way is to bring out the water works and all of a sudden I will change my tune… God I hope my wife doesn’t read this.
But I don’t think tears are going to get you anywhere here.
What really needs to happen is a heartfelt apology from you regarding whatever it is that you did to hurt your ex girlfriend.
But What If The Apology Doesn’t Work?
Good question!
Honestly, I wouldn’t hold my breath that it would work BUT at least you will have tried. Don’t freak out just because one thing you tried didn’t work. It’s sort of like baseball in that way. Baseball is the only sport I can think of where a guy is looked at as a superstar if he fails more times than he succeeds.
What’s a great batting average for a baseball player?
BA: .300
Right?
In other words, out of ten at bats if a baseball player gets three hits he is looked at as a super star.
So, he failed to get a hit 7 times.
Getting your ex girlfriend to forgive you is a lot like that.
Not all of these strategies will work for you but as long as you keep trying and get one hit you are going to make some serious progress.
It’s a lot like baseball in that way.
Let’s move on to our next strategy.
Which is my personal pick for the best one that you should use.
The Value Chain
I have an admission to make.
When I first started Ex Girlfriend Recovery I didn’t talk much about “The Value Chain.”
The truth is that I hadn’t even thought it up yet.
All I had done was some basic research on how to get an ex back and off I went.
So naive… It really wasn’t until I started interacting with the visitors here that I was able to formulate a solid game plan to get an ex back.
That game plan is the value chain.
Hmm… Perhaps I should make a graphic depicting the value chain.
Alright, if this doesn’t make any sense to you then that’s ok. We aren’t going to be doing an in-depth look at every section of the value chain today. If you want that I suggest you pick up my book,
What I really want to talk about today is the purpose of this value chain.
First things first, what is a value chain?
Well, businesses often use a value chain to describe how their products get from the hands of a manufacturer to the hands of a customer.
In other words, they use the value chain to see how a product starts at point A and gets to point B.
Well, we are using the value chain in the same way here.
Right now you are at point A (a place where you have hurt your ex) and you are wanting to get to point B (A place where she isn’t hurt anymore and she wants you back.)
The value chain above is the road map that connects the two points,
But I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.
This article is about how to get your ex back assuming you hurt her, right?
Well, what if I told you that just by completing the steps I have listed in the value chain above you work towards a reality where she isn’t as hurt anymore.
When I came up with the idea for the value chain I actually worked in the fact that a lot of ex girlfriends out there were going to be hurt.
So, how does it work you ask?
Well, if you read my article about getting an ex back fast you would know that generally speaking getting an ex girlfriend back isn’t a quick process. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. On average, if you do everything right, it can take up to 2-3 months to get an ex girlfriend back.
So, if this process is going to take three months do you honestly think that your ex is going to be as angry with you as she is right now in three months?
Of course not.
Time tends to do that to people.
So, the value chain has that going for it but I created the value chain in a way that you never go too fast too soon.
I like comparing it to taking a dip into the ocean.
Let’s say that you are at a beach and it’s 75 degrees (Fahrenheit) outside. In other words, it’s hot but it’s not too hot. Anyways, you decide that you want to take a dip into the ocean and the second your foot hits the water a shiver is sent up your spine.
IT’S COLD!
What do you do?
Do you just jump in head first and hope for the best?
No way…
You slowly wade in.
You take a step and the water is up to your ankles.
You take another step and it’s up to your shin.
Then your thighs
Then your waist…
Then your chest…
And then you are ready to play and frolic around.
The value chain works in the same way. It slowly wades in so you don’t appear very threatening to your ex. In other words, it’s designed to minimize damage and it’s probably the thing I would recommend the most for you to do if you are trying to get an ex back who you hurt.
Now, I realize I didn’t get into the details of what the value chain is comprised of but I wrote a whole book about it, PRO.
Besides, I have a lot of other tricks up my sleeve to teach you.
Showing Class
Breakups tend to bring out the worst in everyone.
You are upset…
She is upset…
You say things…
She says thing…
All in all breakups are a recipe for disaster when it comes to behavior.
I’ll never forget a story my wife told me about one of her friends, Lynn. Lynn and her new boyfriend had just moved into a new apartment together and one day, after a long day at work, Lynn came home to an empty house.
Her boyfriend was gone which wasn’t exactly abnormal for this time of day but what was abnormal was the fact that he left his laptop open on the table.
Kind of like this,
Now, I think you can see where this is going.
She saw the laptop and got curious as to what he was looking at.
So, she opened the laptop up and found something that would change her reality forever.
He had been cheating.
The proof was right in front of her eyes.
Apparently, her new boyfriend had been cheating on her for quite some time.
(She backdated the emails to figure out when the affair had started.)
Now, in her anger she decided the best thing to do was to go all Hollywood,
Except instead of throwing her boyfriends clothes out the window she threw his clothes down the stairs to their apartment.
His laptop too.
I think the police were called.
But that’s besides the point. My ultimate point in telling you this story is to explain that breakups no matter how “light” tend to make people do things that aren’t going to help them in the future.
Let me give you an example.
You are reading this article because you hurt your ex girlfriend and you are hoping to figure out how you can resolve the situation in a way that will help you get her back.
Well, let’s say that you said or did something that made your ex girlfriend even angrier at you post breakup.
Do you honestly think that’s going to help you get her back?
Of course not!
Instead, my recommendation to you is to handle everything with class.
The breakup…
Her annoying friends that keep bugging you…
The baggage…
Handle it all with class.
You don’t want to give your ex girlfriend any extra ammunition that she can use as a reason to NOT get back with you.
To be honest I am not quite sure there is anything more I can say to add on to this one.
Besides, it’s really the next few pieces of advice that I am about to give you that will really move the needle.
Jealousy
A few months ago I conducted an independent study on a portion of the success stories that I have had.
My aim with this study was to find out what was working and what wasn’t working.
While I will admit that I hadn’t done the best job of collecting successes over the years (I probably have had close to 500 but had only collected about 50) the study still proved to be very educational. You see, I am the type of guy that is skeptical about a lot of stuff.
Sometimes I need cold hard data to change my beliefs on something.
I guess you can say that I don’t have a lot of faith without scientific evidence.
But I am getting off topic here.
One of the most shocking discoveries that I encountered while doing my analysis was the fact that jealousy seemed to be one of the most popular and effective tactics.
Hmm… perhaps it’s better if I just show you by using one of the successes,
This woman actually told her ex that she should probably find someone who wants her after the breakup.
Bold…
But it worked.
She got him back.
But your situation is unique in the fact that you hurt your ex. So, the question you are probably kicking around in your mind right now is,
“Is Jealousy Even Worth Using?”
Yes, but only a certain type of jealousy.
What I am about to tell you is something that I have never written before on Ex Girlfriend Recovery. Hell, I haven’t even put this in “Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO” yet. It’s a new type of jealousy and I can’t even take credit for it.
This was the brainchild of my wife (who I have talked about a lot so far in this article.)
Getting A Friend Involved
I know this sounds weird but there is a method to the madness and if you do this correctly it can arguably be the most powerful form of jealousy that you can use to your favor.
Here’s how it works.
Imagine that you and your ex girlfriend share a mutual friend who is a woman. A BEAUTIFUL woman. Now lets pretend that this mutual friend has always liked you a bit more than your ex girlfriend.
Not that she hates your girlfriend it’s just that you and this mutual friend go way back.
You have known each other for pretty much your whole lives.
Therefore, her loyalty is with you as opposed to your ex girlfriend.
Now, let’s say that you pull this friend aside and let her in on your plan to get your ex girlfriend back and you need her help. You need her to vouch for you in front of your ex girlfriend.
You need her to say something like,
“Man, isn’t he so great. I can’t believe I have never dated him before. I am seriously thinking about it. The way he makes me feel inside is just so amazing. But I wanted to get your opinion first.”
In other words, you want this friend to vouch for you so much that she creates competition.
Competition
Competition is a beautiful thing.
It serves two purposes.
It proves that you are considered to be a man of higher value and oftentimes women treat men better who aren’t easy to get.
Let’s walk a mile in your ex girlfriends shoes.
Your ex girlfriend is a woman and probably a beautiful one at that.
She’s used to snapping her fingers and getting any man she wants.
But along comes this guy who she has to fight for.
She has to struggle…
In other words, she snaps her fingers and nothing happens. What’s worse, is that she is going to have to fight other women for the right to be with him. Don’t you think she is going to cherish a guy like that much more as opposed to a guy that she can get with a flick of her wrist?
Of course!
And creating competition with another woman… a mutual friend can make this happen.
It’s going to shell shock her into trying to win you back as opposed to the other way around.
Now, some men are going to read this and say,
“Hmm… I like the idea but I think it’s too risky. What if she just gives up entirely and encourages the other girl to get me?”
It doesn’t matter.
No really… it doesn’t.
The purpose here isn’t to win her back with this one method. It’s to re-position yourself in her eyes. Before the incident where another girl was basically asking permission to date you she viewed you as an ex boyfriend who she didn’t like very much but after this incident she is going to wake up and realize that other women are very interested in you.
That does something to women.
Competition breeds success.
But what if she actively tries to discourage the mutual friend from dating you?
It doesn’t matter.
This mutual friend isn’t really trying to win you and she could potentially be trying to sabotage any new relationship you form so she can win you back herself. It’s not out of the realm of possibility.
What matters is that she sees first hand that other women are interested in you.
If you can create that kind of an atmosphere nothing can go wrong because you are going to be making an indirect point, that you are a hot commodity among women and she is missing out.
Moving On Increases Value
But lets say that you do all of this.
Let’s say you give a heartfelt apology…
You use the value chain…
You show class…
You incite jealousy…
Create competition…
And you still feel that you aren’t any closer to your goal of getting your ex girlfriend back who you hurt.
What is there left to do?
Most people will tell you to give up and I happen to agree with them but not because I think you should actually give up. It’s just that for the last four years I have been knee deep in “ex recovery” and I have began noticing some very interesting trends.
Particularly the trend that sometimes the best thing to do to get an ex back is to simply move on.
I know it sounds counter intuitive but rushing is often an enemy when it comes to getting an ex back. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let more time go by to make an ex realize what she lost out on.
The example I always like to cite here is actually a podcast episode I did on my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery.
You see, on EBR I do a weekly podcast where I advise women on how to handle their situations with their exes. And in one of the first episodes that I ever did I got a question from a woman named Melissa who asked,
“Can moving on work to get an ex back?”
Melissa had tried everything that she could possibly think of to get her ex back but nothing seemed to work. So, not being a woman that would just wait around she decided that the best thing to do in her situation was to move on.
So she did…
She healed from the breakup.
She started focusing on her career and other aspects of her life.
She finally became happy again and that’s when it happened.
A year removed from the breakup she heard from her ex again who wanted to hang out all the time.
In other words, he wanted her back.
Apparently he had seen how well she was doing in her life and found her attractive again.
Funny how moving on can expedite this process, huh?
Well, that’s what we are trying to tap into here. We are trying to move on with our lives so that our ex girlfriends will see that they missed out on something special.
PART TWO: What To Do In Your Specific Situation
Now, I have been claiming that I am making an active effort to improve the quality of the content on this website by doing a better job of matching your individual situation with the advice I dish out.
However, that puts me in a difficult position because there are literally thousands of ways that you could hurt your ex girlfriend (no offense.)
So, in an effort to make all of our lives easier I am going to stereotype a bit.
I am going to take the most popular situations where an ex boyfriend hurts his ex girlfriend and give you a few tips on how to approach that situation should you find yourself in it.
Here is a rundown of what we are going to be talking about,
I guess we should start with the big one…
You Hurt Her By Cheating
Here’s the big question…
What can you do to get an ex girlfriend back if you cheated on her?
Well, my first piece of advice to you is to actually check out this page. To date, that is one of my favorite pages because the advice I give out there is probably the only way that I think will give you a legitimate chance.
On this page what I would really like to focus on is what strategies will work if you cheated and what strategies won’t.
If you recall, I gave you six of my very best strategies to make amends with an ex assuming you hurt her. Here’s a quick recap,
Now, some of these strategies will work if you cheated and some of them won’t.
I’d like to let you in on which ones those are so you don’t make the mistake of implementing a failing strategy. Sound good?
Ok, I have decided that the best way to signify what you should do versus what you shouldn’t do is to use checks and “X’s.”
So…
Check = Do The Strategy
X = Do NOT Do The Strategy
To be honest this one is pretty self explanatory.
You are going to want to do every strategy that I taught you above with the exception of the ones involving members of the opposite sex.
Why?
Well, cheating has a way of creating insecurity issues within women and if you were to try to win your ex back by making her jealous or trying to get her into a competition with another girl then the chances are high that she won’t respond to it.
Think of it like this.
If your ex girlfriend is considering getting back with you after you hurt her by cheating on her and then you post a picture on Facebook with another girl then all of a sudden you are going to kill any progress you made because your ex is going to be sitting there thinking,
“I can’t trust him.”
That’s not where you want to be. You want to be in a position where you are the most trustworthy man alive.
Get it?
Let’s move on.
You Hurt Her By Flirting With Other Women
This is an interesting situation in the fact that when I say, “flirting with other women,” that’s all I mean.
In other words, no actual cheating took place.
Hmm…
Maybe it’s better if I gave you an example.
Ok, let’s say that during your relationship with your ex girlfriend she would always complain that you were spending too much time with other women. She would constantly see you talking to them and flirting with them.
This hurt her on a deep level and ultimately spelled the end of your relationship with her.
What can you do to win her back in this type of a situation?
Good question!
I am going to say something that may strike you as controversial but it’s something that you absolutely need to hear.
Even though you didn’t cheat on your ex girlfriend you still need to treat the situation as if you cheated. In other words, use this post as your guide for getting her back.
Flirting with other women is still going to bring out the same insecurities within your ex girlfriend as it would if you had cheated on her.
Therefore, we can take a page from the cheating book as to what strategies will work and what strategies won’t work,
This is pretty self explanatory.
Let’s move on and talk about some of the more interesting situations.
You Hurt Her By Fighting
Out of all the situations I have listed in part two of this article this is the one that I can relate to the most.
My ex and I used to fight a lot.
And these weren’t the type of fights that were little squabbles. No, these were nasty fights.
With yelling…
Screaming…
Crying…
Seriously, I remember once thinking to myself,
“Are all relationships like this? We fight on average once every single week.”
It’s funny, everything was fine until about the two month mark (AKA: The end of the honeymoon period.)
I remember it well because we got into a massive fight over something that I still think to this day I was 100% right about.
But maybe I will let you be the judge of who is right and wrong.
Here’s the situation, I had just got out of seeing a movie with my family and I decided to text my “then girlfriend” to see how she was. It took her about ten minutes to respond,
I saw the text and immediately I started worrying.
Why?
Well, her friend Kelsey was notoriously the type of girl who would always cause trouble.
But I had to keep my cool. I had to not let her know that I was worrying about her while at the same time prying into what was really going on at this “sleepover.”
So, I pried…
And pried…
And pried…
And then eventually I pried enough to two things.
Thing #1: My girlfriend had lied to me.
Thing #2: The lie = the sleepover wasn’t at Kelsey’s house… It was at a guy named Jason’s…
The moment I heard this I reacted the way you would expect any guy to react.
I went batshit crazy trying to understand why she was sleeping over at some guy’s house.
And therein lied the greatest fight of our relationship.
It was a disagreement on our moral beliefs around dating.
You see, I was of the mind that if you are dating someone the only place you should have a sleepover at another guys house.
And she was of the mind that she was with a group of girls and they were sleeping over a mutual friends house who happened to be a guy so there was nothing wrong.
Now, I see her point a little bit.
But here’s what she neglected to tell me at the time.
Before dating me she had a massive crush on this guy.
And after we broke up guess who she dated?
Yup, the same guy.
But all fights are disagreements on things. You had a fight with your ex girlfriend and it hurt her.
You believed what you believed and she believed what she believed and your wills clashed. So, what kind of strategy can you employ to smooth things over and get your relationship back on track?
How about all of them?
As it turns out, all of the strategies I have taught you on this page will work for getting an ex back assuming you hurt her through a massive fight.
You Hurt Her By Lowering Her Self Esteem
Easter just concluded.
That’s important to note for one reason because it meant that my assistants who handle most of the emails that we get had vacation. Therefore, over the Easter holiday emails really piled up.
I think we had something insane like 400 unopened emails in a day.
Well, at the beginning of this week I set a goal that I wanted all of the emails to be answered by the end of the week. However, I knew that in order to successfully reach this goal I would have to step up and help out.
So, that’s what I did.
I took about 80 of those unanswered emails and started handing out advice to those who wanted it.
I happened to come across a really interesting situation where a woman was confused as to whether she wanted to take her ex back. You see, he was very controlling throughout their relationship and set very strict rules.
Any time that she would break one of these rules he would berate her and put her down.
The Result = Her self esteem took a massive hit.
As this process repeated itself it pushed her to the breaking point and she ended up breaking up with him. After some time passed he ended up coming back into the picture and started begging for her back.
Great news, right?
Well, there was just one problem.
She didn’t know if she wanted to get back with him. She had been hurt on such a deep level that she had these constant flashbacks of history repeating itself.
So, let’s say you find yourself in this position.
Let’s say that you put your ex girlfriend down.
Let’s say that you hurt her self esteem.
And let’s say that you get to a point where she is considering taking you back. The big headwind that you are going to be facing revolves around convincing her that history isn’t going to repeat itself.
Seriously, your sole focus should revolve around displaying qualities that make her think,
“Wow, he has changed. He’s not like he used to be.”
Let me help you out a bit more.
Here are the tactics I think are going to be ideal for a situation like this,
Well, I’ll be damned.
Looks like all of the tactics are going to work in this situation.
I guess it’s your lucky day.
You Hurt Her By Putting Her Last
What does this even mean?
Hurting her by putting her last?
Now, before you scoff at the idea I just want to say something.
Relationships are kind of like plants.
I know…
I know…
It’s a weird analogy but bear with me hear.
What does a plant need to survive?
Sunlight and water, right?
I mean, it doesn’t need it absolutely every single day but if you go… say… three days without putting a plant in the sunlight or feeding it water it’s going to wither away and eventually die.
Relationships are the same way.
They intimacy, trust and all that good stuff.
But perhaps the most underrated factor is the fact that they require TIME.
Yes, you actually have to spend time with your significant other.
And for those of you who are in a long distance relationship raising your hands in protest all I will say is this.
I was in an LDR (long distance relationship) for six months and I still found the time to carve out 2 to 3 hours a day to talk to my girlfriend on the phone.
Time is essential to make a relationship survive.
But what if your ex girlfriend wasn’t your top priority? What if you spent all of your time out at bars or hanging out with your friends?
What if this happened so much that it hurt her to the point that she wanted to break up with you.
What can you do to recover from this?
Here’s what you can do,
So, a couple of things to take note of here.
The first thing is why we don’t use jealousy.
Let’s say that you were not prioritizing your time with your ex girlfriend too well. Instead, you spent all of your time barhopping with your friends. That act alone is enough to make any woman jealous.
Oftentimes, the mind is the worst enemy for any human being.
I mean, look at the situation from her perspective.
You are putting yourself in a position where cheating is likely.
- You aren’t spending time with her
- You are at a bar where everyone knows people go to hit on other people
- You are with your friends who aren’t exactly the best influence
Your ex girlfriend is going to be very insecure about your extracurricular activities that don’t involve her. So, why would you purposefully try to make her jealous when she already is worried to death that she may have been cheated on by you?
It’s not going to do anything to raise your chances of getting her back.
