How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Her

I am not going to lie to you.

I hate infidelity.

Sometimes I read stories from men and women about the lengths they are willing to go to, to deceive, manipulate and cheat on their partners and I am absolutely disgusted. Now, I am not here to give you a hard time about your situation. I am sure you have already beat yourself up enough about it without me adding on to the pity pile.

So, instead of telling you that you were bad and that you messed up I am going to give you a solution on how you can approach your current predicament.

Of course, I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about that solution with you until I first gave you a little disclaimer.

Your Ex Girlfriends Perspective

perspective

As many of you know, in addition to this website, Ex Girlfriend Recovery, I also run another website called, Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

That website is essentially the women’s version of this one where I help women get their exes back. So, as you can imagine I have heard my fair share of, “my ex boyfriend cheated on me,” stories.

So, I have some good news and some bad news for you regarding your ex girlfriend.

Which would you like to hear first?

Bad news?

Alright, here is the bad news.

Your ex girlfriend is going to be angry at you. So angry at you in fact that it is unlikely that she is going to take you back. You cheated on her and she has every right to be mad about that. The experience of you being unfaithful can hurt her for years (yes, I am not joking.)

That is something that you can’t just “get over” in a month.

So, the bad news is that getting an ex girlfriend back that you cheated on is probably the worst situation to be in (for you.) In other words, your chances are significantly lower.

Of course, I am going to show you what you need to do to succeed (in other words, the only method I have ever seen work for people.)

I did mention there was good news though, right?

Here is the good news.

As shocking as it may seem there are women who want their ex boyfriends back despite the fact that they cheated on them. I know it sounds crazy but hear my logic out for a moment.

I mentioned that I also run a fairly large site in addition to this one, right?

Well, that other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, has a page set aside specifically for women whose exes cheated on them.

Guess how many comments that page has?

415…

That means that there are a good number of women who are so in love with their boyfriends that they want them back even though they cheated on them.

So, the good news here is that even though your chances are without a doubt lowered if you cheated on your ex there is still hope because I have actual proof that there are women out there that will take a cheating ex back.

I guess the question you are now wondering is,

“How do I get my ex girlfriend back if I cheated on her?”

I am glad you asked.

Below I have put together a specific plan for you to follow for you to even have a chance of winning back your ex.

The Cheating Recovery Plan

easelly_visual
You will notice that in the graphic above there are really 5 steps to the “cheating recovery plan.”

Pretty nifty name huh?

I am known for going into great detail on pretty much every single topic you can possibly think about so the graphic above is going to be no different. The five topics talked about there are,

  1. The No Contact Rule
  2. Showing Intense Commitment
  3. Ending The Relationship
  4. Regaining Trust
  5. Rebuilding Attraction

I suppose we should start with the no contact rule.

The Importance Of The No Contact Rule For Cheaters

enjoy the silence

It sounds like the opposite of what you should be doing doesn’t it?

I mean, every fiber of your being probably wants to make up for what you did (cheating on your girlfriend) by writing long elegant apology letters, begging for her forgiveness or literally doing whatever she tells you to do until she takes you back.

What do all of those behaviors (writing letters, begging or following her every instruction by essentially becoming her slave) have in common?

If you guessed that none of them are what attractive people do then you would be right.

Look, I am not going to beat around the bush here. Your ex girlfriend does want you to beg for her back. She does want you to do everything humanly possible to prove to her that your indiscretion was a one time thing and it will never happen again.

However, right after you drop the “cheating bomb” or she breaks up with you isn’t the time to convince her to take you back.

Timing is everything when it comes to this.

Hmm…

Perhaps I could explain this a little better to you if I use a few examples.

Ok, you are here because you cheated, she found out and you obviously want her back. The problem with trying to convince her to take you back immediately after a breakup is that she is going to be more angry, hurt and disappointed in you than you can imagine.

Look, cheating on your significant other is the absolute worst thing that you can do in a relationship. There is NOTHING that hurts more. So, you have to understand that your ex girlfriend is going to need some time to level out emotionally.

The no contact rule can give her that time.

Of course, it also allows you not to do something stupid like begging for her back.

Why is begging for her back a bad idea?

NC vs Begging

pleassseee

Lets say that I am dating a girl and I cheat on her (which I would never do but this is an example so stick with me here.)

Alright, so I cheated on this imaginary girl and she found out. Obviously she isn’t going to be too happy with me. Now lets imagine that I beg for her back.

How do I go about this?

I blow up her cell phone with calls, texts and voicemails apologizing for what I did. In fact, I even go a step further and start writing her these long involved letters hoping that she will have some epiphany and take me back. While I guarantee that she will like the attention this won’t help my ultimate goal of getting her back.

Why not?

Because the wound of you cheating is still too fresh and you haven’t done anything to prove to her that things are going to change the second time around.

Talk is cheap and action is everything, remember that.

Now, lets take the same exact imaginary situation (me cheating on an imaginary girl) and look at how I would go about regaining her trust to win her back with the no contact rule.

Every fiber of my being is probably going to be telling me to beg for her back but I am not going to do that. Instead, I will probably send a simple text message like this,

cheating apology

(Side Note: Usually I don’t like recommending that people give a warning when they go into NC but I feel in this case, since you cheated, an exception has to be made.)

After that text message I would probably go into either a 21, 30, 45 or 60 day no contact rule. It is during this change that I would make some massive changes with my life (which I am going to cover in the next section entitled “Showing Intense Commitment.”)

Why are these changes in my life important?

Because they are all going to be geared towards proving (not just showing) that you are a trustworthy person.

So, lets pull back for a second and really take a look at whats happening here.

Instead of begging for my imaginary ex back I decided to write a heartfelt apology and immediately duck into the no contact rule. As I am in the middle of the no contact rule I am doing things to prove that I am a trustworthy person. In other words, I am making some massive changes with my life to prove I can change my cheating ways.

Why is this so much more effective than begging?

Well, for one no girl finds begging super attractive. Remember, women are attracted to alphas not betas and men who beg are betas. Also, even though you can beg for your ex girlfriend back you aren’t doing anything to show her that you are a different, better and more trustworthy version of yourself.

The no contact rule gives you time to change your ways. It gives you time to prove that you are someone who can be completely trusted. However, most importantly, it allows you to be missed.

NC > Begging.

Showing Intense Commitment

commitment?

Lets pretend for a moment that your girlfriend cheated on you instead of the other way around.

Assuming that you are someone who gives second chances what would she have to do in order to win your heart back?

Speaking personally if someone cheated on me I would want to see an intense commitment by them to changing their ways or removing themselves from any type of situation that people often cheat in. For example, if a girl I was dating went to a club, found a guy there, danced with that guy and then eventually went home and slept with that guy then I am probably not going to be too thrilled of the idea of her going out to clubs after I break up with her.

Lets do a role swap using the same exact situation. However, instead of it being me and some imaginary girl lets pretend its you and your girlfriend.

So, to recap in case you forgot.

You went to a club, found a girl, took that girl home and eventually slept with her. Oh, and you did this all behind your girlfriends back. Obviously when your girlfriend finds out she is going to break up with you. Now, lets fast forward a few weeks when your ex girlfriend is really missing you (despite you cheating on her) and one of her girlfriends ends up spotting you at another club.

When your ex hears that she is going to immediately think,

“Wow, he hasn’t changed at all. There is no way I would ever want to get back with him if he keeps clubbing because he would probably cheat on me.”

This is where the intense commitment bit comes in.

How To Show Intense Commitment

intesntity intensifies

This part isn’t going to be easy to hear but it has to be heard.

Any type of behavior that can make your ex girlfriend think of cheating has to be eliminated.

What are these types of behaviors?

  • Getting drunk.
  • Going to clubs (for a while.)
  • Going to bars (for a while.)
  • Hitting on other women.

I am going to take a moment now and describe the threat of each of these behaviors and why you are going to have to avoid them at all costs.

Getting Drunk

You want to know what the most cited reason is for cheating?

“I was drunk… it was a mistake.”

Now, that’s a total BS answer but I have heard way too many stories from people using it as a crutch for cheating. Look, women have crazy minds (much more crazy than a mans mind.) So, trust me when I say that you getting drunk can lead their mind down a rabbit hole that eventually associates it with cheating.

So, rather than taking this chance of having your ex look at you like an unchanged man I say cut out drinking altogether.

Of course, if you do like a beer every now and then at least promise yourself that you won’t get drunk.

Show some commitment to this.

Going To Clubs And Bars

I have a question I want to ask you.

Why do most single men go to clubs and bars?

Let’s not beat around the bush here, it’s to get laid.

Yes, we are all men here and we all know that most men go to bars and clubs to pick up chicks. Your ex girlfriend isn’t stupid and realizes this fact. So, if for some reason she catches wind that you are going to a club or a bar she already has that association formed in her head and she is going to think that you are the same old guy that cheated on her.

So, show some commitment and be willing to sacrifice going to the clubs and bars.

Hitting On Other Women

I have a feeling that this is going to be one of the more challenging tasks that I ask of you.

Look, you are single and I am assuming that you are pretty good with women because you got a girlfriend (and you cheated on her.) So, that tells me that you know how to seduce.

Well, if you really want your ex girlfriend back then you are going to have to stop flirting with other women. You will have to stop hitting on them too. Your sole focus needs to be on one woman, the woman you want to get back.

End The Relationship

its over finally

You and your ex girlfriend weren’t the only ones affected by your infidelity.

The person you cheated with is likely going to be affected as well.

Look, I already know that you want your ex girlfriend back but how are you supposed to handle the third party that is also going to be affected by this?

If you want my greatest piece of advice when it comes to winning back an ex you cheated on it would be this,

You need to end whatever relationship you have with the person you cheated with completely.

(I did an extensive talk about this in my other guide on cheating if you would like a more in-depth insight than what I am about to provide below.)

What Does Ending The Relationship Completely Mean?

what does that mean

Lets look at things from your ex girlfriends perspective for a moment.

Lets say that your ex is thinking seriously about taking you back but is having some serious reservations about doing so because you are still good friends with the girl that you cheated on her with. What about if your ex actually did take you back but you were still good friends with the girl you cheated on her with?

Something tells me that your ex is going to be worried about history repeating itself.

One of the biggest mistakes I see that men make when they are in this particular situation is that they don’t have the stones to be a little mean and end a relationship with the girl that is the cause of all of their exes pain.

Look, I am not a fan of burning bridges but in the end it all boils down to this.

Who do you want more?

Your ex girlfriend (the reason you are here) or the girl you cheated on her with?

If you are serious about getting your ex girlfriend back then show that intense commitment to here and don’t be afraid to be a little mean to this other girl.

  • Block the girl from calling or texting you.
  • Block her from all forms of social media.
  • Never see her again in person.
  • Essentially cut her out of your life entirely.

Is this too harsh and a bit much?

Probably.

But here is the way I look at it.

Lets say you advance pretty far in your quest to get your girlfriend back. After months of slowly rebuilding trust you finally go on a date with her.

This is it.

You FINALLY have her one on one again and it’s your chance to prove to her that you’ve turned over a new leaf. Of course, eventually your ex is going to get curious and ask the question that all exes will eventually ask in this situation.

“So, how’s (insert name of person you cheated on her with?)”

This is a question with meaning behind it.

If an ex girlfriend ever asks you something like this then that means she is trying to figure out what your relationship with that particular person is like.

It is at this point that you have two options which will all depend on whether or not you took my advice.

Option One- You Are Still Friends With The Person You Cheated On Her With

(AKA, The Wrong Option)

Lets say for a minute that you are an idiot and didn’t take my advice of completely ending your relationship with the person you cheated on your ex girlfriend with. Well, one of the main doubts in your exes head on whether or not she wants to get back with you is if history is going to repeat itself.

Specifically with this one person.

So, the second that your ex asks you the age old question that prys about your relationship with that one person and you tell her that you are still friends with that person then that is going to add extra doubt into your exes head which is going to make it twice as hard to get her back.

Option Two- You Haven’t Spoken To That Person Since The Incident (You Cut Them Out Of Your Life)

(AKA, The Right Option)

Alright, now lets say that you were smart and you did take my advice about cutting the girl you cheated on your ex with completely out of your life.

When your ex asks the question and you tell her that you got rid of her as a friend, as a phone contact and all social media your ex is going to be very impressed and instead of doubt creeping into her head the exact opposite thing will creep into her head, trust.

Speaking of trust.

Regaining Your Ex Girlfriends Trust

trust me

I am sure you have realized by now that everything that I have told you to do up to this point has been to slowly regain your exes trust.

You see, during your relationship with your ex she probably trusted you entirely. She told you things that she hasn’t told anyone and you were probably always the first person she went to when she had a problem. If you could rate her trust in you on a scale it would be a 10 out of 10.

Of course, now that you cheated on her she has no trust in you at all.

(That’s a 0 out of 10 in case you were wondering.)

Women don’t just get over being cheated on. In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if it took them years to finally come to terms with your betrayal. I want you to understand that this isn’t going to be an overnight process. You see, most guys waltz in here and think that in a couple of weeks if they do the things I suggested above their ex is going to magically come back to them.

Your very naive if you think this process is going to take just a couple of weeks.

No, this is going to take months and sometimes even years. In other words, it is going to require your commitment and blind faith (which is something that isn’t always easy to have when it comes to this process.)

If you can’t bring those qualities to the table then you might as well not even try.

Why are these qualities so important?

Because without those qualities it will be impossible to win back your exes trust.

Commitment & Blind Faith

Rebuilding trust takes two things.

Yup, you guessed it.

Commitment and Blind Faith!

Lets talk a little about commitment first.

When I say commitment I am not just talking about it in the sense that you have to commit to your ex girlfriend (meaning no other girls.) No, I am talking about how you have to commit to the process of getting her back. You can’t take any shortcuts and you have to do things the hard way which sometimes isn’t easy when there isn’t a guarantee of success.

Of course, this is where the blind faith comes in handy.

Look, I am not going to lie to you. Even if you do everything right on this page you might not succeed in getting your ex girlfriend back. Most men are paralyzed by this fact and as a result don’t put in the proper amount of effort that is required to build trust.

But every once in a while a special type of man comes along. The type of man who believes so much in this process that he is willing to remain disciplined and put in the proper amount of work it takes to win back a girls heart.

This type of man has blind faith.

Do you see what I am getting at here?

YOU need to be this type of man.

The Process of Rebuilding Attraction

build it

So far this guide has covered one main aspect of getting an ex girlfriend back, rebuilding trust.

Unfortunately, rebuilding trust in your ex isn’t going to be enough to win her heart back.

The other piece of the puzzle has to do with rebuilding attraction. You see, women are in love with courtship, romance and chemistry and you took a pretty big tumble in those departments when you cheated on your girlfriend.

Fortunately I have a plan for you to proceed if you are looking to make up in the “rebuild attraction” category. Here’s the thing though, rebuilding attraction is such a complicated process that I can’t really sum it up in a small paragraph for you.

Instead I figured I would refer you to some of my other guides that specifically deal in rebuilding attraction.

Take a look below,

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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535 Comments on "How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Her"

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Jase
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Hi Chris, I need your help. My relationship has been a mess from the very beginning and has recently blown up into a thousand pieces. I’m going to try and shorten it, but be warned, youre in for a long read. It started 6 months ago when Marina (the girl im in love with) started working at my company. I instantly fell for her and we had amazing chemistry from the start. The only issue was, I was already in a relationship. A few months earlier I was very happy with my ex (Valeria) but we’d hit a speed bump… Read more »
Jase
Guest
I don’t want to lose her Chris, but it’s becoming apparent that I’m not going to be able to get her back. She’s making new plans as we speak and I can’t ask her to change them for me again. I know I shouldn’t contact her, but I promised her I’d pick her up from the airport… should I email her first to ask for permission or just be there waiting? Also I wrote her a letter and inside contains a large sum of money. This is to help her on whatever path she’s chooses as she spent countless dollers… Read more »
Kyle
Guest

If nc falls on my bday and she messages me, do i reply?

Ted
Guest
Hi … my girlfriend and I were together for 7 years up until last wednesday…. well last year around this time she found out I was chatting to my ex and we broke up but patched things up… this time I did not honestly did not have anything going on with this chick…I just told this girl not to msg me around my girl as I knew she would get infuriated if she saw me chatting to another girl… but my girl saw this msg and lost it…. its now been 5 days… I miss her so much and love… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ted,
Yeah, that’s considered cheating.. If you were not doing anything wrong, why did you hide it to your gf? Did you explain to her why?

Dylan
Guest
I got drunk and cheated on my girlfriend of 2.5 years with her best friend. She refuses to get back together with me and I made the mistake of begging her back. I should have tried NC but unfortunately, I came across this a little too late. My relationship with my ex was great although we had quite a few arguments here and there. We were very happy together but had no trust in each other. While I attempted begging for her back, she did speak to me a few times and said that she still loved me but had… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dylan,

You could use the advice on how to do nc rule if you work together in this link:
Using The No Contact Rule (Everything You Need To Know)

Dylan
Guest
Hello, my name is Dylan and I got drunk and cheated on my girlfriend of 2.5 years with her best friend. She refuses to get back together with me and I made the mistake of begging her back. I should have tried NC but unfortunately, I came across this a little too late. My relationship with my ex was great although we had quite a few arguments here and there. We were very happy together but had no trust in each other. While I attempted begging for her back, she did speak to me a few times and said that… Read more »
Onke
Guest
My girlfriend recently broke up with me (about 5 weeks ago). We were together for a little over 12 months. She has 2 little boys and I have 1 little boy myself. Her first marriage ended pretty bad, once she found out her ex-husband cheated on her with men and women, she left him and they got divorced. Trust issue, and insecurity has always been an on going while we were together. She kept trying to figure out whether I am faithful to her, and she did snoop and read all my text messages (in September). At onetime she reached… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Onke,

I think there’s a chance, just don’t rush things after nc.

Onke
Guest
Amor, The last time I wrote back on 12/17, I mentioned that my Ex called my Therapist and agreed to come in for a session, and move forward to a couple’s therapy afterward. However, she canceled her appointment. And I heard from our mutual friend that she thinks she no longer needs a therapy session, and doesn’t want to go anymore because in her mind I am the one that need help. We had a NC for 4 weeks after we broke up. However, I ran to her while I was with my kid, and she was with her kids… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

well, you’re not supposed to social media stalk her but you’re supposed to be active in posting even if you’re blocked because there’s a chance she will get curios and check your account through a different account or a friends’. So, you have to make your posts public.. Did you do that?

Onke Murdono
Guest
Hi Amor, since your last reply in January, things went South even more. My ex girlfriend is now been seeing a mutual friend since New Year’s eve. She went on a date with him once before (a month before we met) but she get rejected back then, as he didn’t want to do more than just friend. Apparently, when he found out she started dating me for about 2 1/2 weeks, he tried to get her back but it didn’t work b/c she was already into me. He waited a year, and hung out with us several times, and I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

If you’re still blocked, then yes, I think you should move on..

Raul Recinos
Guest
So me and my girl dated for almost 2 years thought the relationship we loved eeazch slot but I had trouble with social media and I lied alot and did things behind her back she finally caught me again that I had another Instagram account and we were done after that we talked as friends but she relaizedd that that wasn’t working and that this time she was moving on It still hadent hit me but then she said she started talking to someoneand that their in a relationship now and she doesn’t feel the same towards me we broke… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Raul,

Try the nc rule and the advice above first…

Raul Recinos
Guest
So me and my girl dated for almost 2 years thought the relationship we loved eeazch other slot but I had trouble with social media and I lied alot and did things behind her back she finally caught me again that I had another Instagram account and we were done after that we talked as friends but she relaizedd that that wasn’t working and that this time she was moving on It still hadent hit me but then she said she started talking to someoneand that their in a relationship now and she doesn’t feel the same towards me we… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Raul,

Try the nc rule and the advice above first…

Ruby93
Guest

She broke up with me and kept this reason to herself for about 4 months before telling me… I just thought you should know for more advice

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ruby93,

Apologize first, send a clean slate text, and then follow the advice above

Ruby93
Guest
Hello I cheated on my girl friend she got to know when she read a chat between me and my best friend in his phone.. She broke up with me without telling me the reason not until a weeks ago. She has been keeping contact with me we even saw last week before she told me. She said she wants us to be friends Av apologized and other desperate stuffs. I started to NC rule but didn’t send her the text, she got worried texted and called me through out last night I didn’t reply den she texted me this… Read more »
Matthew S
Guest
Where do I even begin? Okay. Well, me and my ex dated for 2.5 years. In the first 6 months she cheated on me physically and then again by texting a guy sexual things. We talked and I forgave her but for some reason, subconsciously, I guess I really didn’t. I physically cheated on her once, thinking it would help me feel better, it didn’t, and told her about it. We talked it all out and we forgave each other and everything seemed fine. Or so I thought. Well, I got into this habit of texting girls back who texted… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Matthew,
why not rebuild rapport instead of an ultimatum?

xsoe
Guest
Native english speaker here. Hi, my ex girlfriend of 6 months brokeup with me one week ago, and it getting worse and worse for me everyday. I didnt cheat on her or anything, but i have written with a girl who i used to date but, and i didnt tell her that, which i shouldn’t have. Before she broke up with me, she checked my phone and found the messages between the girl and i. I apologized to her og regretted everything, but it was too late. She said that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Yes, restart nc and follow the advice on what to do if you cheated..even though you think you didn’t..for her you did..

xsoe
Guest
Thank you, so after 2 days in NC, she did text me, and asked how im doing. I know that i shouldnt have reply at all, but i couldnt resist, so i did. She asked me if i wouldnt come over at her place, which i did. We talked for a little bit, but not too deep about our feelings and relationship. I was still confused, becasue she acted like we were getting back together, and i could feel the sexual intention from her. Then right before sex, i asked her if it is only sex, because i could kiss… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Restart the rule..do at least 30 days.. Don’t reply again if she messages, because the more you restart nc, the less it can help you..

xsoe
Guest

What if she just wrote that she hates me so much, because i have been ignoring hers texts?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You can send a clean slate message before restarting nc… Tell her you understand her decision now but being friendly is not workable for now and thank her for everything

xsoe
Guest
I did send her a clean slate message, but we did also text more afterward, this time she texts med that she wish she could kiss me right now, and asking me to come over, and i did… And we did actually have sex this time. I thought she wanted me back, but the day after i felt like we were at the same position as before, i have been played by her, and i know that it was very stupid that i trusted my guts and feelings than my brain. So is it too latae for me now to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That means that’s not a clean slate message anymore.. it’s not yet too late but you have to stop talking to her because the more you restart nc the less it can help you

BROKe
Guest
Native english speaker here. Hi, my ex girlfriend of 6 months brokeup with me one week ago, and it getting worse and worse for me everyday. I didnt cheat on her or anything, but i have written with a girl who i used to date but, and i didnt tell her that, which i shouldn’t have. Before she broke up with me, she checked my phone and found the messages between the girl and i. I apologized to her og regretted everything, but it was too late. She said that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Yes, restart nc and follow the advice on what to do if you cheated..even though you think you didn’t..for her you did..

broke
Guest
Native english speaker here. Hi, my ex girlfriend of 6 months brokeup with me one week ago, and it getting worse and worse for me everyday. I didnt cheat on her or anything, but i have written with a girl who i used to date but, and i didnt tell her that, which i shouldn’t have. Before she broke up with me, she checked my phone and found the messages between the girl and i. I apologized to her og regretted everything, but it was too late. She said that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Yes, restart nc and follow the advice on what to do if you cheated..even though you think you didn’t..for her you did..

Jesus
Guest
So me and my girl of 2 years and half broke up about a week ago because I cheated on her for the second time, the first time I told her straight up and we got back together within a week although it took some time to regain her trust we ended getting back together this time it happened id say 6 months ago I was at a party I was drunk and high and some girl we go to school with gave me head for about 5 seconds I couldn’t get erect I don’t know if it was the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jesus,

Just be civil with her at school
Dont initiate talks

Jesus
Guest
Me and my girl of 2 years and half broke up because I cheated on her for the second time, the first time I told her straight up and it took about a week for us to get back together although it took some time to regain her trust but the second time around happened maybe 6 months ago I let a girl give me head I was drunk and high it was literally 5 seconds until I realized what I was doing and removed myself from the situation the girl meant nothing to me I had never talked to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jesus,

Just be civil with her at school
Dont initiate talks

DonovanV
Guest
Good day, Me and my ex broke up a little over 2 weeks ago after she found out I was lying about making out with another girl. We have been together for almost 6 years, but this past year has been quite rough. At the beginning of the year I had been feeling quite detached from our relationship and I started talking to this girl I met at school. Although the majority of our conversations was just friendly talk, I kinda knew this girl was attracted to me, and I kept talking to her for that reason. Of course there… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Sam
Guest
So I kissed two girls during our relationship but didn’t sleep with anyone else. After months of guilt and the relationship being too intense I told her what I did and broke it off with her as I believed I didn’t love her. I soon realised I am madly in love with her and it was what I had done and the relationship itself that led me to believe I didn’t love her anymore. About 3 weeks later we started talking again and met up a few times. Things were great and we got along super well but I new… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sam,

Yes but, Do nc more for yourself.. Prepare your routine that if whether your get her back or not you’re still going to stick to that routine

JC
Guest
I need advise bad. Me and my girlfriend of 6 months broke up because of me cheating. I was texting another girl about us engaging in sexual activities. I messed up because right after it I immediately began begging her to take me back and apologizing over and over again. I even cried because it honestly hurt me to know that I hurt her. I know that if she was to ever give me another chance I would NEVER do anything like that to her again. It has only been 3 days but yesterday she told me to leave her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jc,

Why not try the advice above?

Kyle
Guest
Hey there, so I need some advice because I feel my situation is a tad different than others… I had a girlfriend(Lets call her K) and we were together for 9 months. I know thats not a long time but hear me out. I am an FTM trans guy and she was my better half. I trusted her with everything and she trusted me with everything. Now here comes the problem we have had some fights and we have been fixing things. The other day we went on date and it was the first positive step in restoring the relationship,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kyle,

You can still try the advice above..it suits youe situation

Jesse
Guest
Hi…looking for advice. So I cheated on my gf months ago. She found out by seeing some messages but didn’t get the whole idea that I actually slept with someone. We were back and forth for a while because she kept trying to pull the truth out of me and I was too afraid to tell her each time. I ended up developing anxiety issues to the point of physical shutdown from my body. My gf of course wanted honesty from me and even after all this was still committed in trying to make us work. I never came fully… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jesse,

why not try the advice above instead?

Soho
Guest
Hi, thank you for your contribution here. I have read a lot on this website and keep thinking that my situation is somewhat different where my actions may need to be customized from the guidelines emphasized on this website. I feel that this article is most related to me, but even then, there is a difference in which I want the girl I cheated WITH back, not the one I cheated ON. But that is speaking in simple terms. The fact is that I already broke up with my previous girlfriend (so I didn’t really cheat, we were in the… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Nope.. You didn’t cheat on her, no need to apologize many times

Lui
Guest
Hi! My girlfriend broke up with me after cheating on her. Not any hidden relationship but punctual meetings with some girls, just to fill up my stupid ego………3 girls. One meeting with each. I really regret how stupid I have been and what I have lost…… Anyway. After begging for oportunity just 3 days after, she told me clearly that there is no point we can rebuild this…. Im doing a period of NC. But I want to know after period, how to get in touch again with her? What to say? Keep saying how much I regret to show… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
very_much_lost
Guest
Hey guys, I need some quick advice. I realize the chances of a success get-back-together depends a lot on the circumstances of the breakup and the nature of the relationship. Everything was literally amazing until the moment i was caught cheating. The problem was that I cheated on her with my ex in the past and when she saw the texts, it was over. Afterwards, I did everything I could to make things worse, acting needy and jealous. After a lot of burning where she finally told me I should move on, and she never wanted to see me again,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

do it as the advice above.. and be active in improving yourself..

Jeremy
Guest
My situation is a little more complicated. I was dating my now ex for about a year. This came not too long after a 7 year relationship with the girl before her. We had instant chemistry. But she was very reserved on actually dating. She just wanted to see me on the weekends, and keep it casual. I later found out this was due to deep trust issues. I convinced her to date me. It was amazing. We seemed perfect for each other. Although I was still talking to others girls innapropriately that I had met in-between the two, some… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jeremy,

Are yoy following the advice above?

H
Guest
Hi, I was in a relationship with the love of my life for 4 years and a half, we break up 2 days ago as she caught me sex chatting with her friend. It was a one night thing, I was a little bit drunk and her friend came chatting with me and we started sex chatting knowing it was wrong on both sides. She even exchanged nudes, we said some nasty stuffs, I don’t want to mention any details as I am so ashamed of my actions. I didn’t mean to hurt my girlfriend as she means the world… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Try the advice above..its not a guarantee but it increases your chances

Sipi
Guest

Hay man
I’m going through the exact same situation,minus the physical and twice. But I hope you won or win your battle. Iv just discovered this site. My journey to reunited with the love of my life starts now. Good luck man I know how you feel

Byron
Guest
I’m in a sticky situation? Quite recently me and girlfriend broke because she found that I was sexting my ex. So we broke up? For the past 3 weeks she had been telling me how she was willing to give it another go and give me a chance of proving my love to her? We was planning on taking things slow again, just getting used to being around each other again and a few days ago she said she didn’t want to do it no more? After 3 weeks of telling me she did, how much she loved me and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

do you want to try the advice above?

John
Guest
Chris, Thank you so much for everything you have written you have taken a lot of pressure off of me and helped me deal with my terrible breakup. I started dating my ex my sophomore year of college and we fell in love so fast. I never believed in love and never thought I would meet someone like her. Last year we took a break where she was stressed about a lot of stuff and ended up fooling around with a couple of guys but nothing that meant anything. She wanted me back and I accepted. Then came the hardest… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

approach it like a long distance relationship since that’s where it’s heading… right now, you should start nc and check the link below:
The Ultimate Guide To Getting A Long Distance Relationship Ex Girlfriend Back

John
Guest
So update to all of this. She texted me on graduation with a very long text and I sent her one back that made her cry. She was upset she couldn’t be there. She seemed to keep herself busy at home while I was bored and non stop thinking about her. We talk off and on and when we do she sometimes stops answering and sometimes I double text her and she makes an excuse. Recently she told me she misses me a lot. She was on vacation with her family and send me a picture of her tan lines… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

If you’re going to follow the advice above, that means no talking to her even if you’re near

vijay
Guest
Hi…. (Sorry for weak English) i am in relationship with my girlfriend form 2 and half years, she was cheat me and she completely apologies about what she did and i forgive her, i don’t know why it happen, and i never ask to her why she did it because many time there is no answerers, i trust on her blindly (after what she did or before never it happen), i am not saying that i a good but i am (one women man) i love her so much. but now days i trying to make her happy, trying to… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Vijay,
Do you want to try the advice above?

Andrew
Guest
So my girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up monday night. A few weeks ago I messed up big time and messaged a girl and asked her for nudes and my girlfriend found out. After a lot of talking about it she seemed line she was going to give me one more chance. But than last night while she was at work she was talking to a female coworker about the situation and she said she didn’t think it was going to be possible ton keep a relationship. So after she got home we talked for about an hour… Read more »
Andrew
Guest

Oh and by the way last night after our breakup she said she still loves me so much but she doesn’t love what I did and doesn’t know if she can trust me

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Andrew,

did you send an apology text like above? I think you should do 30 days.

John
Guest
So I’ve been with my ex girlfriend for about 5-6 years things were as high and they can get and of course at times it was tough and we went through the motions she never broke i eventually did, she would be mean to me never really enjoyed wanting to have sex a lot of things that took place had me I guess you can say “check out” a girl who I had known for quite some time contacted me to play flag football no harm there right? But it became more than that at that point we hadn’t spoke… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi John,

do you want to try what’s advised above?

Nathan
Guest
So I have massively screwed up to the point she does not even want to see me. Basically 6 months into our relationship I cheated on her and ever since have felt guilty before her finding out. When she did we carried on for a couple of months but recently she ended it saying she does not feel the same. I’ve gone about it the wrong way and pleaded citing how much I love her and how I would move to where she is (we are semi long distance). The distance thing isn’t so much as issue as that was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nathan,

do you want to try the advice above?

Abhi
Guest
I was in a relationship with my girl for about more than 7 years . It was all great since last year when she went to Australia and i was all alone left. We skyped and had a talk regularly . And it was one day when a girl from my office approached me and i was carried away at that moment.We went out for dates and dinner and even got to different cities for fun trips. Eventually one of my friend who was a mutual friend between me and my girl told her everything about what was happening here.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Abhi,

do you want to try the advice above?

Josh
Guest
This, believe it or not, is the short version. I was married for 8 years with two kids. The relationship steadily began to fall apart. Towards the end I met an amazing girl, Carol. And yes I cheated on my wife with her. I fell in love with Carol but always felt like I was still cheating on my wife. I left Carol to try again with the wife. The wife had moved on, so I confessed about my cheating. The wife struggled at first but was ok with it. She told me to be with Carol if that’s what… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Josh,

do you want to try the advice above?

Kyle
Guest
Hello there – We were in real love me and my gf and I was doing everything to make her feel good and trust me as we live in different countries and wants something really serious from her. I did a mistake, and continued a conversation a friend of mine was having with a random girl from my phone with absolutely zero intentions to cheat or do anything more serious about messaging for fun. it happened for only 2, 3 days and that was it. She saw the messages on my phone (never deleted them since I didnt have any… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kyle,

in this case.. I agree that you should try to talk to her first..

Simon-Pierre Clermont
Guest
Simon-Pierre Clermont
Hello there (sorry for my english im french) I realy dont know what to do! Here is my story… I met a girl 3 month ago and everything was going realy well no big fights nothing and 3 weeks ago i woke up and she was crying in bed i asked her why she was crying she told me “for nothing” i asked her if i did something wrong she sed “yes” i tryed to talk to her and asked her if she went on my cell phone she sed “no why?” i told her that my ex gf invited… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Simon,

so you’re not talking to you ex’s child anymore too? But you still work with her right? Do you plan on getting a new job?

Vinicius Lino
Guest
I cheated on my girlfriend of 4 years. I kept a secret, as i let a girl develope a realtion with me for 1 year now. I have told her i was stupid, i was a coward, but that i want her back, i would anithing to do só And that i see her as the only person in my life to do anithing her. Including a family. She is the string one, working, studing, voluntering. And i just work. I did anithing And everithing for her, but to respect her in this betrayal matter. She discovered it, And confrontos… Read more »
Tim
Guest
My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. We met in high school. I was 2 years older and I left for college while we were about a year into our relationship. I was many states away and I unfortunately kissed another girl while we were together. We ended up breaking up while I was at college and didn’t get back together for another 2 years. A year ago I ran into her unexpectedly at a different college we both ended up transferring into. I asked her to go on a date to wit she said yes and… Read more »
Khaleed
Guest
Greetings I met up with a woman, Alzia, as friends. I did not cheat, but it did the same damage as cheating. My girl friend broke up with me. Loss of attraction, trust, jealousy, and hurt feelings. I went over 21 days of no talking bcuz Im sure she was upset at me. Yesterday, I talk to her, she was neutral. I invited her for some lunch, but she said she wants to keep a distance. I texted her on what has she been up to and she has not said back. Do I start again, this time, 30 days… Read more »
Carla
Guest

I’m sitting here looking up how to cope with being cheated on, and I stumble across this site. And my dumb ex-boyfriend literally quoted that “no contact” text to me word-for-word. Everything about him was fake and generic, right down to the apology. Hey, Adam! How’s the no contact thing going? Hahah
Irrelevant and off topic, maybe. But guys… At least change the text a little bit.

prashu
Guest

what shall i do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Prashu,

have you read the article I recommended in your first post and are you following the advice here and in that post?

Aaron
Guest

What if she keeps contacting me after I cheated on her? Not to get back together, just to keep telling me how much I hurt her and how she’s drinking every night because of it. Should I be there for her to vent or should I ignore her for her own good so she can heal because I always seem to make her angrier.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Apologize sincerely one time.. and then just let her do that but don’t reply.

prashu
Guest

i apologized to her one last time two weeks ago. should i contact her or try to talk to her?

Totally IN Love
Guest
I just wanted to say thank you for this and to inform those that should stumble across it while searching that this does truly work. While I didn’t cheat on my girlfriend, this still helped my situation. Her and I had a great eight-month relationship before our break-up. She was offered a second job working evenings and as it was a passion of hers, I encouraged her to follow it, even knowing what that meant. The offer finally came to fruition and we were forced to call it quits as we’d never see each other due to our schedules. It… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Totally in love,

thanks for sharing your story! I’m glad you know how to take things slow

Nico
Guest
I’m going to admit it: I cheated on my girlfriend of 3 years on a drunken one night stand. I confessed to her the next day of my stupid mistake. After a lot of emotions at the time, she asked me to give her space and I gave it to her. We managed to meet up 3 months later to speak about how stuff had been and it was decent. We both got things off our chest but she wasn’t willing to take me back as she said she still wasn’t ready and had a lot of things going on.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nico,

how are you now? were you active in updating your social media posts during nc?

prashu
Guest
I was in relationship with my girlfriend since last 4 years. Our relationship started at the end of my school life. After two months i went to college. Then we were in long distance relationship. I used to meet her in 1-2 months. In my 2nd semester i met a girl in my class and after sometime we became friends. We used to talk on phone and chat. After 1 year in 4th semester i proposed that girl even though i was committed already. I don’t know how i did that. After two months i realised that i am going… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Prashu,

try out what Chris advised here first before giving up and mix the advice in this article too: The Ultimate Guide To Getting A Long Distance Relationship Ex Girlfriend Back

prashu
Guest
Its been two months i have not talked to her. i tried to talked to her but she ignored all my messages. 20 days back i sent her my last message telling her that i accept her decision and after this i will leave her alone for her good. till than i have not contacted her. I have talked to my friends and a therapist, they all advised me to move on and rather than this concentrate on my studies more. if I will try to talk to her i wont be able to get out of this pain and… Read more »
prashu
Guest

everybody is telling me and i have also started thinking that it is nearly impossible to get her back. because i am very much far away from her and reason of breaking up is cheating. so i dont know whether taking a chance with this on the cost of m career is a good idea or not.

prashu
Guest

she also told my friend that there is no chance of getting back together and tell me to move on and stop contacting her.

NS
Guest
I never truely had sex with another woman while i dated my ex, but her and i were off and on, when we were on a off time i started talking to another girl, after we got back together it continued for awhile, by awhile i mean not to far into a week, i have a weak character flaw where i don’t like it when people dislike me or hate me so the other girl had said she loved me so i said it back(i never meant it tho) and i meant to delete the messages and i had forgotten… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI NS,

if that’s how much you both are unsure with each other.. you really need a reset.. First, you need to stop using a rebound to feel good.. You have to improve yourself and build confidence first and not think about the opinion of others.. let her be for now.. and focus on yourself to have a reset.. if she sleeps with others, so be it but if she sees how much you’re improving by yourself and not using other people, she will probably stop sleeping with others and miss you.

Kk
Guest

If she slept with someone, move on dude, I hate that you did what you did, but if she also loved you she would’ve not done that. Two wrongs doesn’t make it right, accept what you did and move on. It would’ve been different if she did it to you, because a worthy woman would not do that even if you fucked up. She made things so much worse, and you made it worse twice, that’s not how you work things out. Bad bad foundation to start fresh

Leon
Guest
Hi, It is my understanding that this information isn’t necessarily tailored to an individual, its provided for the majority. However, Im in a circumstance which is different to some. See, i go to university and my Ex and i met there, i had been together with her for a year. the thing is, its currently summer, therefore i am unable to see her as i live a distance from her. the relationship basically ended because i kissed her friend, and she i failed to tell her…of course she found out. I highly regret this mistake, i was unexperienced with how… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Leon,

did she say she wants to stay connected with you to work things out?

Ryan
Guest

Hi Amor,

Could you explain the reason as to why you don’t respond if the ex tries to communicate with you during the NC period? I fear that ignoring them could potentially be taken in a very bad way by one’s ex, they may feel that means you really don’t care and are fine without them now, which should ultimately provoke them to move on no?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi Ryan,

nc is not a cure for all breakups, it depends on the situation if you should use it

Ben
Guest
Hi Chris, I did something I feel is even worse than physically cheating on my beautiful best friend and soulmate: I still talked to my crazy psycho ex because we shared a dog and continued to still talk to her even after he passed away like an idiot. She always made me feel guilty when she was sad she had no one to talk to. A week ago my ex told my gf that I cheated on her our entire relationship, which wasn’t true. I still talked to her, which I will take ownership of doing…she destroyed me. This has… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Ben,

do you want to try what Chris advised above?

Ben
Guest

We are back in the same house, back I feel so distant with her. I just feel like her roommate. We are not intimate, just distant. Everything is so different and I haven’t slept because I know things aren’t the same. Like I know she is talking to other guys and stuff. Sleeping in different beds, I am just doing everything I can to try to make it right and take baby steps but I feel like I am getting nowhere with her and it’s breaking my heart

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

ok.. are you going to do limited no contact?

Siddiq Manzano
Guest

Good day Amor, I have one question.
If you initiate a 30day NC, and your ex messages you within that let’s say on day 10, do you reply or not? As not replying may be taken as avoiding them, but replying might be showing neediness.
Help!!!

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi Siddiq,

nope, don’t reply.. why did you do nc? how was the breakup?

Siddiq Manzano
Guest

The breakup was horrible i initially had to sleep on the floor.
I initiated it because even after breaking up with me I can tell she didn’t want to… So I thought I’d follow some rules and give her time to miss me and to think about the decisions we both made.
I’m fully committed to the program and I’m willing to do what it takes.

Joe
Guest
Hi there, I cheated on my (ex)-gf of almost 4 years on a drunken one night stand. I told her the next day an I acted needy and begged right after, initially for the first couple of days. I’m pretty ashamed of the cheating, especially as I have hurt her before (not this way, though) and she’s been cheated on in a previous relationship. Now I guess I’m doing the NC rule, but I’m worried after 30 days if she doesn’t try to contact me…should I still try to contact her? Also, her birthday is coming up in a few… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Joe,

yes, it’s ok to initiate contact after nc. If her bday is within nc you shouldnt