The Ultimate Guide To Getting A Long Distance Relationship Ex Girlfriend Back

Long distance is hard…

One look at the comments here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery can prove that.

Yesterday something happened on EGR (Ex Girlfriend Recovery) that has never happened before.

70% of the men that commented who were trying to get their girlfriends back were doing so from a failed long distance relationship. In other words, I have made a mistake in not writing this sooner. A lot of the men visiting this site have been struggling for a long time.

That ends today!

Usually when I write for EGR I write articles.

Well, this isn’t going to be an article…

This is going to be a guide.

In other words, I am going to make this the most helpful guide on LDR (long distance relationship) ex girlfriends in existence.

I suppose I should start by acknowledging my own experience in a long distance relationship.

I Am One Of The Few “Ex”- Perts Who Can Sympathize With You

I have been in a long distance relationship before.

March 18th to August 9th to be exact.

That is eight days shy of five months.

(I am rounding up though 😉 .)

Now, you may be kind of creeped out that I actually remember the dates of my long distance relationship but I assure you there is a reason I remember it. The woman that I was in a long distance relationship with for that time turned out to be my wife…

Don’t believe me?

Key-West-Wedding-003

I know…

I know…

I am a stud.

Anyways, my point in telling you this is that I know a thing or two about what it takes to make an LDR work because I have been there in the trenches.

I haven’t heard any other expert out there make that claim.

Just sayin…

The Truth About LDR’S That No One Wants To Tell You ( I Will Though…)

truth

Not everyone is cut out to make a long distance relationship work.

You see, out of all the situations I have seen when it comes to relationships an LDR by far has the most hurdles to overcome and it takes not one but two special people to work together to overcome them.

Yes, that means that in order to make this entire thing work your ex girlfriend has to be as intense as you about the two of you ending up together but more on that later.

Lets talk a little about the hurdles that a couple who is in a LDR will encounter.

The obvious hurdle in the way is the distance but I am looking for something a little deeper than that.

The Scary Truth About LDR’s

Every single long distance relationship is doomed.

In all my years doing this I have never once heard of a situation in which a couple stays together forever in a LDR.

Confused?

Ok, imagine that you and your ex girlfriend are still dating and are still in a long distance relationship. Everything is going great and both of you decide that you want to get married.

So, that’s what you do.

The normal thing that happens for a couple at this point is that they are no longer going to be “long distance.”

They will live together (hopefully forever.)

Well, if this happens (a couple living together) then that means the LDR has ended.

In other words, a long distance relationship has to end in some way, shape or form.

Now, like most things in this world, an LDR can really only end in one of two ways.

  • First Way- A breakup occurs where the the couple mutually agrees or someone in the couple no longer wants to continue.
  • Second Way- The distance is killed and the couple creates a more normal relationship

Obviously you are here because your long distance relationship ended in a breakup and you would have much rather of had it end the second more pleasant way.

Speaking of the second way…

There Has To Be A Plan In Place

plan

There is a difference between you and I.

Above I said I was in a LDR for five months and while my LDR did end it ended with me killing the distance and winding up with the woman I wanted.

You are here on this page…

And if you have read this far down the page that tells me that you had a long distance relationship that was unsuccessful and you are trying to get it back. This means that your LDR ended in the first way, with a breakup.

What we have here (when we compare your LDR to mine) are two long distance relationships that both ended but ended in very different ways.

So, what is it that I did differently?

Did I give more love than you?

No… though I am pretty good at that.

Did I make my woman more interested in me than yours was in you?

Probably… but you could have done that too if you did what I did.

What probably separated my experience from yours was the fact that I went into my LDR with a plan. You see, my (then girlfriend) and I don’t like long distance relationships. In fact, we despised them so much that we formulated a plan to get rid of the distance as soon as possible.

It took five months to see that plan through but we did and as a result we had a successful LDR.

We didn’t do what so many other couples out there do with just getting into a long distance relationship without defining future plans. Look, the absolute worst place for anyone to be is in a relationship that is stagnant and isn’t going to move anywhere.

If you don’t have a feasible plan to end up with your girlfriend permanently “location wise” before you enter a LDR then you are going to be fighting a losing battle because she will kick you to the curb eventually.

Welcome To The LDR “Hell List”

dine

You are obviously here because you and your ex girlfriend broke up and you want to learn how to get her back.

However, I feel I would be holding back from you if I didn’t let you in on what I really believe when it comes to LDR’s.

It takes a very special type of person to make a long distance relationship work and as much as this pains me to say, it could be entirely possible that you don’t have what it takes to make it.

You know how in training to become a Navy Seal the United States put their recruits through hell and only something like 25% of candidates ever make it through “hell week?”

Well, the list I am about to give you is my own personal version of “hell week” for long distance relationships.

In other words, if you can’t meet all the criteria on this list then you probably aren’t going to be able to win your ex girlfriend back so you can go home “MAGGOT.”

(Sorry for the “maggot” thing I got a little too excitable there.)

Ok, lets take a look at this list.

  • You Have To Have Extreme Maturity
  • You Have To Have Patience
  • You Have To Have The Means To Make It Work

Like always, lets take these points apart one by one.

You Have To Have Extreme Maturity

mature

Being mature isn’t always easy in a long distance relationship.

You see, if you are really in love with someone but you can’t see them then you are going to be prone to a little jealousy.

Hey, no judging from me. I have been there so I know exactly how you feel.

I want you to imagine a scenario for a second.

Lets say that you are still dating your ex girlfriend and are still in a long distance relationship with her. You haven’t seen her in a few months and she calls you up one day and tells you that she just hung out with one of her good “guy friends” over lunch.

(Girls are so dumb sometimes…)

You are obviously missing her a lot and upon hearing that some other man is enjoying her company you immediately think a few things,

“He is probably trying to get in her pants…”

“Why would she hang out with him when she is supposed to be missing me?”

“I wouldn’t of done that to her..”

This is a completely normal situation to get jealous in and to be honest I wouldn’t really blame you for getting jealous. Now, a little jealousy here and there is ok but really what matters is how you handle the jealousy. There are really two ways to approach this situation.

The First Way = The Immature Way

You can throw a tantrum…

Start a fight…

And basically alienate your girlfriend causing the two of you to have more than just distance on your mind.

(FYI most guys are guilty of this.)

Of course, then there is the second way.

The Second Way = The Mature Way

You can understand that the “meet up” was casual and meant nothing.

Your girlfriend is really struggling without you and having just a friendly lunch with an old friend makes her feel a little bit better about everything.

Its a small distraction from missing you, a distraction she deserves.

Most men don’t take the high road/mature way out.

Why?

Because it’s hard.

Being mature about unfair situations often is…

You Have To Have Patience

patient

Above I said that if you want your long distance relationship to work you need to formulate a plan in which the two of you will end up together permanently.

Assuming you have done that then that means you are going to have to be patient until the time comes for that plan to come to fruition.

Being patient during that time is extremely hard…

Trust me…

I told you that I was in an LDR for five months (we are rounding up remember?)

Well, when I think back to that time the thing I remember most about it was the loneliness and the impatience I felt.

My (then) girlfriend and I had worked out a deal where we would see each other once every single month until we moved in together. Well, I can remember very clearly that all I would have to look forward to were those little meet ups once a month.

They kept me going and really helped with my impatience.

Speaking of meet ups..

Lets talk about something super important to LDR’s

Having The Means To Make It Work

lets do this

There are two things that you need to have in order to realistically have a shot of making a long distance relationship work.

Do you have any idea of what those two things are?

  1. Time
  2. Money

I want you to imagine two scenarios for a second.

  • Scenario 1- You and your girlfriend are both 18 years old, in high school and she has just moved two states away. (Lack of Money)
  • Scenario 2- You and your girlfriend are both 30 years old, in a long distance relationship and both have jobs where you work A LOT and can’t get time off to see each other. (Lack of Time)

Do you see where I am going with this?

Lets tackle scenario one first.

Scenario One

I have some bad news for the younger (high school) readers here who are in a long distance relationship.

You don’t have a good shot of making a long distance relationship work out. While you probably do have plenty of time to dedicate to a relationship you don’t have enough money to make it work. On average you should probably be seeing your significant other at least once a month.

If your significant other has moved a couple of states away then that means in order to see her your designated one time a month you have two options,

  1. Drive to see her
  2. Fly to see her

Lets work out the logistics of each of these things.

Driving to see her might prove to be a costly endeavor when you include gas. I mean, if your girlfriend is living two states away then you can expect to pay a minimum of $150 in gas there and back. But that is not whats really going to kill you financially in the end.

Really for a LDR to work out you have to find a more permanent solution and that usually requires someone to move to the other person.

Lets say that you and your girlfriend talk it over and the both of you decide that you should be the one to move to her.

Well, as if moving your entire life isn’t hard enough you have to figure out where you are going to live (most likely an apartment,) find a job to pay for that apartment and even then your relationship isn’t guaranteed to succeed in the end.

Are you starting to see why a lot of LDR’s fail?

My point with this scenario was simple.

If you truly want your long distance relationship to succeed then you have to have money.

Of course, that isn’t the only thing you need.

Lets look at scenario two.

Scenario Two

In case you have forgotten scenario two consists of both you and your girlfriend being around 30 years old, in a long distance relationship and you both have established jobs but not a lot of time.

Throughout my years I have found one correlation to be unfortunately true.

If you have a well paying job then you probably have to work a lot of hours (I am from the U.S. for my non U.S. readers.)

Thus, it’s not necessarily the easiest thing in the world to get off work.

Above I established that if you are in a long distance relationship then you should at least be seeing your significant other once a month. Well, if you work a lot then you are going to have to dip into your vacation days in order to make this possible but then you get into the fact that you only have a certain amount of vacation days to dip into.

In other words, time is a major issue here.

The obvious work around is to find a permanent solution where both of you can see each other every day but then you are faced with another problem.

Both of you have jobs…

Whoever moves is going to have to find a new job…

Finding a new job isn’t easy…

Oh, and lets not forget that no man or woman wants to take that big of a risk without re-assurance that the relationship is going to be worth it and they won’t be made a fool of.

My point is simple…

If you don’t have the means (time, money) to make a LDR work then your chances of winning your ex back really decrease.

Now that we have that out of the way lets take a look at some of the other challenges with long distance relationships.

The Two Other Reasons LDR’s Are So Hard

hard

Long distance relationships are hard for other, less obvious, reasons than just distance.

There are two that immediately spring to mind,

  1. Out of sight, out of mind.
  2. Lack of physical contact.

Lets take an in-depth look at both of these reasons,

Reason One- Out of Sight, Out of Mind

out of sight

Lets say that you and your girlfriend are still dating and your girlfriend decides to go out with her friends for a “girls night out” at a bar.

Here’s the thing though, all of her friends are single and as she goes out to the bar with her friends she gets hit on and her friends are encouraging her. Since you haven’t been around for a while she has been quite lonely and starts liking the attention. Pretty soon one thing leads to another and she is drunk and making out with some random dude.

Out of sight, out of mind…

You will find that thoughts like this constantly creep in when you are in a long distance relationship.

I mean, any mention of another male that isn’t you will have you thinking like this and it is so easy to grow irritable and start a fight with your girlfriend over nothing because of it.

In fact, so many people have this problem in long distance relationships that entire breakups occur just because someone was paranoid.

Of course, then there are those cases where someone in the relationship just thinks it’s ok to cheat (it’s not.)

Oftentimes this will be the carefree women who don’t hold their relationship in high regard or the men that couldn’t keep it in their pants.

Speaking of keeping it in your pants…

Reason Two- Lack of Physical Contact

dont touch me

As men we like sex.

Every single week our libidos needs have to be met or we are going to be a bit cranky.

Long distance relationships don’t really do anything for our libidos needs now do they?

Heck, you can’t even hold hands or hug your girlfriend if you really wanted to and sex, well lets just say sex is off the table for a while.

Some people take this really hard and end up cheating.

Others…

Well, others just break up because they can’t handle the lack of physical contact.

How To Approach Getting A Long Distance Girlfriend Back

Getting a long distance ex girlfriend back is not an easy task. In fact, I would say that most of the men who attempt this task end up failing at it. So, my goal for this guide is to come up with a plan that you can follow to increase your chances for success.

After all, that is what we are trying to accomplish here,

Increase your chances in this particular instance.

Below I have created a graphic for you outlining what I consider to be the best way to increase your chances of getting your LDR girlfriend back.

ex gf ldr

Avid readers of this site will notice that when you look at the long distance plan there isn’t too much that differs from the general plan I teach on Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO except for a few things.

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It just so happens that those few things change the plan drastically so don’t be fooled.

Like always, I am going to be covering each of the seven steps outlined in the game plan above in a very in-depth manner so if anything is confusing to you right now try not to jump off the ship yet.

Lets take a look at step one!

Step One- Determine If You Are A Candidate

chance

You remember the “Hell List” above in which I talked about what it takes to make a long distance relationship work?

Well, if you really want to increase your chances of getting your long distance relationship love life back on track then its a really good idea for you to determine if you even have a realistic shot of winning your ex back.

I am not going to lie to you, most men don’t have a good shot.

Why?

Their situation just isn’t conducive to it.

What do I mean by that?

If you are a high school kid that doesn’t have the time or money to find a permanent solution with your ex then you probably don’t have a situation that is amenable to working things out with your ex.

Lets take this example and roll with it for a bit.

Lets say that you are a high school kid who is 18 years old and your girlfriend just moved a few states away.

Lets make another assumption and say that you do manage to win your ex girlfriend back by following steps two to seven from the game plan above (and the game plan above has been tested and proven to work.) Well, you are still young and it could be years before either you or your girlfriend could move to each other.

So, logic dictates that another breakup is inevitable.

In other words, history will probably repeat itself if you don’t have what it takes to make things work.

Now, I don’t know about you but what I am going for here is to prevent history from repeating itself.

I know you are hurting right now as a result of this breakup but you know the only thing that will hurt more than the feeling you are feeling now.

Doing all the work I outline above, getting your girlfriend back and then having her break up with you again.

Trust me, you don’t want that.

What It Means If You Don’t Have What It Takes To Get Her Back

Lets say that you go up and read through the “Hell List” I put together above again and you determine that you really don’t think that even if you got her back you could make things work out with her.

What are you supposed to do?

Easy, in this case move on.

Seriously, if you feel like you can’t make a relationship with her work long term then what’s the point of even trying to get her back?

NEWSFLASH…

There is none.

So, don’t waste your precious time getting a girl back just so you can wind up hurt by another break up again.

Of course, what do you do if you determine that not only can you get your ex girlfriend back but you can keep her when you have her back?

What It Means If You DO Have What It Takes To Get Her Back

If you really believe that you can get her back and find a permanent solution where you can kill the distance then you have my blessing to move forward with the game plan above.

Seriously though, I really want you to be sure about this because once you get started on this game plan it is going to take dedication on your part and you are going to have to answer a lot of hard questions and overcome a lot of hard obstacles.

(And this is coming from someone who was able to make a long distance relationship work.)

If you really think you have what it takes you can move on to step two!

Step Two- Start No Contact

no contact

Avid readers of Ex Girlfriend Recovery will know that I am a huge fan of the no contact rule.

I have written about it here and here

Heck, my E-Book even talks about how to properly utilize it.

But there always seems to be a common question that I get when it comes to the no contact rule and long distance relationships,

“Chris, since I am trying to get my girlfriend back and we were in a long distance relationship don’t you think it would be a bad idea to use the no contact rule since we are so far away?”

My answer to this question is always the same.

YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY USE THE NO CONTACT RULE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

Heck, I even think an argument can be made that no contact is even more effective in long distance relationship.

Think of it like this.

If you truly have a LDR with your girlfriend then that means that you probably don’t see each other in person that often. In other words, your main form of communication is probably through,

  • Texting
  • Skype
  • FaceTime
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Phone Calls

So, that means that you and your girlfriend were both constantly checking your phones to see if the other responded to a message, Skype call or phone call yet.

In a way, the long distance relationship trained both of you to be this way.

So, when you do, do the no contact rule…

Wait a second…

I haven’t even explained what the no contact rule is yet have I?

For an in depth explanation go here.

For a quick explanation look below,

The No Contact Rule- A designated period of time where you completely ignore your ex in every form imaginable.

Ok, now back to what I was talking about before…

Do you remember where I was?

Oh yes, the LDR training you to constantly check your phone…

Well, when you do use the no contact rule on an ex girlfriend who you had a long distance relationship with then the chances that she will be constantly checking her phone waiting for a response from you is actually pretty high.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that your ex girlfriend sends you this text message,

nc text message

Well, by the rules of no contact you would simply ignore the message.

Your ex girlfriend on the other hand is constantly checking her phone waiting for a response.

After a day she is starting to get fed up that the response isn’t coming.

After a week she is starting to think,

“I kind of miss him and having someone to talk to every day.”

So she sends you another text message which you ignore…

And again, your ex girlfriend is constantly checking her phone waiting for a response from you.

(The response doesn’t come…)

While she is angry she is starting to look at you in a different way.

She is starting to miss you and that is exactly what we want.

Step Three- Improve During The No Contact Rule

Most men make the mistake of believing that all they have to do to get their girlfriend back is make it through a period of no contact and their girlfriend will magically come running back.

If you believe that then I am going to have to burst your bubble…

burst bubble

But that is not really how this process works.

You have to go through a period of self improvement during no contact. So in other words, you have to actively work during no contact so you can maximize your chances of winning your girlfriend back.

I like to call this little period of self improvement,

The Gatsby Method

What Is The Gatsby Method?

The Gatsby Method is an idea I came up with that describes what you are supposed to be doing during your period of no contact. The idea is featured heavily in my E-Book,

Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO

Actually, I can’t claim sole ownership of the idea.

It was really you guys that made me think of it.

I was answering comments here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery one day and there was a guy who said something along the lines of,

“So Chris… Basically the time of improvement that you recommend during the no contact rule is like the Great Gatsby. We basically better ourselves and re-shape the perception of our girlfriends.”

I remember reading that comment and thinking to myself,

“Holy Crap… Why didn’t I think to call it that?”

And that was the moment the Gatsby Method was born.

(The Gatsby Method takes from the famous book by F. Scott Fitzgerald called The Great Gatsby.)

Basically the idea goes like this.

During your no contact period away from your ex girlfriend it is your job to improve in every way imaginable as much as you can.

I am talking about improving physically, mentally and emotionally.

The idea is that by the time you attempt to get your girlfriend back you are going to be a new man… a more attractive man in every way.

Think about going from this,

nerdy

To this!

caffrey

That is what you are shooting for here with “The Gatsby Method.”

Again, check out my E-Book for more information on the specifics of becoming a “Gatsby.”

Step Four- Use Indirect Methods To Stay Relevant

relavant

One of the most common questions I get from men who are using the no contact rule on their ex girlfriends is,

“How can I possibly stay relevant to my girlfriend if I am ignoring her? What if she loses feelings for me or moves on?”

It is a legitimate question to ask because it is not outside the realm of possibility that your ex girlfriend can move on during the no contact rule.

This is especially true for couples who were previously in a long distance relationship.

You know, that whole out of sight, out of mind thing?

Well, what I would recommend for those of you who are deathly afraid of your girlfriend moving on is to use indirect methods of reaching her.

Now, what do I mean by that?

An indirect method of reaching your ex girlfriend DOESN’T mean you pick up your phone and shoot her a text or call. No, rather there is a sneakier way to make sure that you stay on her mind throughout the no contact period.

Through the use of social media, mutual friends and jealousy tactics you can ensure that you can stay on her mind.

Lets take a look at each of these things now.

Indirect Method One- Social Media

Imagine your ex girlfriend logs on to Facebook one day and out of curiosity stumbles across your profile.

When she goes to your profile she is filled with anger, sadness and a bit of regret as she notices that you are having the time of your life with her.

Now, do you think this improves your chances of getting her back or not?

I would make the argument that it definitely improves your chances because as long as you remain on her mind during the no contact rule she won’t be able to successfully “get over” you. Now, the question you are probably wondering is,

“How the heck can I use social media to my favor?”

Please turn your attention to this article in which I teach you the proper way to use Facebook to improve your odds of getting her back.

Indirect Method Two- Mutual Friends

Yes, even mutual friends between the two of you have a role to play.

Now, what is the best way that you can use a mutual friend in your favor?

Well, in my experience your ex girlfriend is eventually going to ask a mutual friend how you are doing if you are doing the no contact rule. When this does happen you want to make sure that he or she relays the information that you want your ex to know.

This means that you must prepare your friends beforehand.

What should you tell them?

I have found that the best way to approach this is to tell your friends to tell your ex that you seem to be doing fine and that you aren’t talking to them too much about the breakup.

You kind of want to create a cloud of mystery that draws your ex in.

You want her to want to know more about you.

Indirect Method Three- Jealousy Methods

Jealousy methods are kind of like fire…

What I mean by that is that jealousy methods can work for you or they can work against you.

If you are starting a fire and you know exactly how to tame it then a fire can have a lot of uses. For example, you can use it to keep warm, cook things and create beauty (candles.) Of course, if you don’t tame a fire it can literally burn everything down.

Be careful if you are using jealousy tactics.

They can be extremely effective but they have to be used in the right way.

In this article I describe exactly how you need to use them.

Step Five- Build Attraction With Text Messages

text first

So, where are we with the overall LDR game plan?

Well, we determined whether or not you had a realistic shot of making an LDR work…

We implemented the no contact rule…

We became a Gatsby…

We stayed relevant through indirect methods of “reaching out…”

Oh, and we can’t forget that we did all this during that period of no contact.

So, what exactly are you supposed to do when your no contact is over? I mean, you can’t really win an ex girlfriend back if you just ignore her forever. Some type of communication has to happen.

Well, in step five we are going to be focusing on how you can use text messages to lightly re-build attraction with your girlfriend.

Roller Coaster Theory

I love roller coasters!

As a little kid they scared me to death but as I grew to be older I fell in love with them.

Hmm… that’s kind of like a metaphor for women if you think about it.

When we were young they scared us (you remember the “cootie” days.”)

But when we grew to be older all we wanted in the world was to “ride” them..

Ha ha!

Ok, horrible joke aside I want you to implement something called roller coaster theory for when you do contact your ex girlfriend.

What is the roller coaster theory?

Well, it is something I originally came up when I was working on my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

I was daydreaming one day about riding roller coasters and how much fun it used to be back in the good ole days and I made a very interesting connection between roller coasters and texting.

Ok, whenever you ride a roller coaster what is the first thing you say after the ride ends (and you enjoyed the roller coaster?)

“WOW I WANT TO RIDE THAT AGAIN!’

(For those readers who are 60+ please channel your inner kid.)

Well, imagine if your ex girlfriend viewed texting you like that.

Imagine if every time your conversation ended she was thinking,

“WOW I WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN!”

That is the roller coaster effect in action.

Now, you are probably wondering,

“How the heck do I achieve this effect?”

Good question!

How To Achieve A Roller Coaster Effect

Figuring out how to text your ex girlfriend is a very complex and involved process.

If you wanted to know everything there is to know about it I could probably add on another 10,000 words to this article (and I don’t have the time or patience for that.)

Luckily I have a shortcut for you.

I have a way of adding 10,000 words to this post really quickly.

You want to know how?

This Is How!

Step Six- Using Phone/Skype

skype

I know I kind of cut things short a little bit in the last section…

But hey…

I have to keep you guys interested in exploring my site or grabbing my e-book somehow so I can’t give you the keys to the kingdom all the time.

Anyways, once you have build enough attraction with your ex you can turn your attention to building attraction through a phone call and skype.

Now, since you are in a long distance relationship phone calls, FaceTime or Skype is going to be essential for a “get your ex back” campaign.

So, what is my best advice for talking to her on the phone in this instance?

Piece of Advice #1- DON’T ASK HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, YET…

Most men are quick to strike once they reach this part of the process.

Don’t strike yet…

Down boy..

Down…

We have two goals here when you get on the phone.

Our first goal is to just keep the ball rolling on the attraction front. Keep priming her attraction wise through phone game which you can read about here.

Our second goal happens to be my next piece of advice!

Piece of Advice #2- OUR MAIN GOAL HERE IS TO SEE HER IN PERSON

So, here is the way things are supposed to go.

NC – TEXTS – CALLS – IN PERSON

Right now we are on the “calls” part so you have to build enough attraction on the phone to get her to say yes to a meet up in person.

Once you are in person then you can ask her to be official again.

Of course, there is an interesting little secret I am going to let you in on when you meet up with her in person again.

Step Seven- Planning A Get-Together

plan comes together

There are two things I really want to cover in this final section.

  1. How To Plan The “Get-Together.”
  2. What Will Likely Happen When You Do.

Lets just dive right in!

How Do You Plan A Get Together

If you are still considered “long distance” then getting a date with your ex isn’t going to be easy as just calling her up and going,

“Hey, lets get a cup of coffee some time.”

Interestingly, for non long distance relationships this is what I usually recommend.

I mean, a non threatening meet up after you have built enough attraction is a great way to further build attraction and get a step closer to getting a girl back.

Of course, you are in a much different situation.

Things aren’t as easy as just calling her up and asking her out for a cup of coffee.

No, you might actually have to travel halfway across the country or even to a different country just to see her.

So, in order for this to work SHE really has to want to see you.

Oh, and I volunteered you as the one to go out to see her because women love to feel romanced or like a man is willing to go to the ends of the earth for her so lets give her this to further cement your importance to her.

Your success for getting her to say yes to a “get together” is going to revolve around how good of a job you did on building attraction with her after the no contact rule.

If you want more information on how to do that properly then please check out my E-Book,

Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO

So, the idea here is that you build up a ton of attraction through texts, phone calls and FaceTime or Skype and there is no way she can so no to someone traveling just to see her!

Lets just assume that you did your job right and built up enough attraction and she says yes to a meet up.

What then?

What It Means If She Says Yes To A Get Together

Do you understand the significance of a long distance ex girlfriend say yes to you traveling to see just her?

ITS HUGE!!

Put yourself in her shoes for a moment.

Your ex boyfriend who you still have feelings for has just told you that he is going to travel across the country to see you. HE IS DOING THIS FOR YOU!

There is no greater feeling as a woman.

Once you have your ex girlfriend saying yes to a meet up like this then the cat is pretty much in the bag.

The probability of her saying yes when you do ask her to be your girlfriend again is very high.

She never had much of a chance really…

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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758 Comments on "The Ultimate Guide To Getting A Long Distance Relationship Ex Girlfriend Back"

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Karl
Guest
Hello, this is a long distance relationship. We broke up one year and a half ago, and I haven’t seen her since. I did NC and now we are still texting quite a lot. She has been in a rebound for some months but recently she left that guy. Right now she is trying to forget about him. She is going on holidays with her family soon and she isn’t really the kind of girl to beg for someone so I fear that NC will not be as effective as I would expect. Plus, it may prove difficult to arrange… Read more »
Ben
Guest
Hello Chris. Me and my Girlfriend broke up last week. we were best friend form past 2 years as i was in relationship with her best friend(i broke up with her best friend due to religion matter and we were not in contact) here i go…. from january of this year we both started talking to each other regularly and slowly we started talking via video calls and then we became close to each other sharing every problems,talking late night. we both decided to start LDR and we were in relation from last month(Febuary). we decided to meet each other… Read more »
Hurting Z
Guest
Hi – my ex (25 female) and I (37 male) have been in a LDR for about 15months. She had a traumatic experience at the beginning of Jan with an abortion. She’s always said to me she wants to have a future and babies together, but she didn’t want kids yet. Despite this, we agreed to keep moving forward together and I would improve in the relationship. Day to day everything was good – lots of chat and communication about different things. Lots of flirting and sexting like before. Then Wed last week all of a sudden (at least to… Read more »
Chris
Guest

Hey! I commen here and no body has reached out to me yet..

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chris,

Nothing is permanent. And the advice above is not guaranteed but it increases your chances of getting her back..

Chris
Guest
Hey. So, i and my girlfriend broke up a couple of days ago. We were dating for around three months. I love her, and at the peak of relationship she loved me a lot too. I guess she still does but..faded. So both of us are college students. We lived decently far away. The breakup happened because she couldn’t see any future of both of us, and also because of a couple of fights that happened that made her overthink on this. My ex and I were really close to each other. We were not just couples we were like… Read more »
Leonardo
Guest
hi, my ex girlfriend broke up with me last month, it was a sudden decision and i was surprised by that without giving any reason, we are long distance relationship for 4 years, but we shared a lot of memories and we traveled a lot in other countries to see each other. we always do text and do video call for us to be happy and complete our day. we always have a plan, planning to get married soon after this long distance relationship..but we still don’t know when it will happen because we focus on our work..and career. till… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi leonardo,

Restart nc, do at least 30 days and be active in posting and continue that after nc while slowly building rapport..

Jason Fox
Guest
Just really want to get some help as my situation is just really different and may help you guys in helping me, it’s just so different to many of the long distance cases I see you dealing with I’m 28 she is 24 she is a very loving person We knew each other for years and always caught each others eye,she was in a long relationship with a guy(7 years) They broke up and a year later we got together,it’s was a good relationship,however after four months I made the decision to leave to the uk in order to work… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jason,

tell her the current situation is not workable for you and there will be gifts to arrive that you’ve sent before the break up, and then thank her for everything, and then restart nc and do at least 30 days.. continue improving yourself and being active in posting after nc while you slowly build rapport.

Jocelyn
Guest

Hi, I submitted a post seeking advice to this, is it still being reviewed or am I not qualified for it?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jocelyn,

I just haven’t reached yours yet..If she doesn’t change her mind by December, do the advice above

Jocelyn
Guest
Thanks, Amor. And to update, last time she texted me (because she still insists on us being best friends after this break coming up) she started saying ‘i love you’ three times, talking about how she was looking at our old photos and thinking of how silly we were in our early years of going out, how she’s been doing fine, how she misses talking to me and is bored and lonely without me. I feel like she is either moving on or still hinting she wants to reconcile. I’ve been grieiving, on the other hand, and have had a… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That’s good that you’re going to therapy..Its ok to go through sadness but you have to be active in improving yourself….make her regret and miss you more in that way..

Jocelyn
Guest
Try not to judge, but I’m 17 years old and in high school, was with a girl for two years who’s now 18. We’ve been in an LDR for 6 months after she moved away to Indiana to make money for college. We’ve been through some bumpy roads, lots of arguments, but we’ve also been more loving and caring, helping each other pursue each other’s dreams with advice and tips, a bit of affectionate sensual stuff if you know what I mean, which imo outweighs the bad stuff that’s happened. Recently I messed up this week when I broke a… Read more »
Gumba
Guest
So me and my gf just broke up. She s a busy woman and I always told her that if her feelings ever changed about me to let me know and that I would understand completely because all I wanted was for her to be successful. She didn’t contact me for a whole month but I contacted her. The lack of communication made me feel like I was in her way. So I told her the same thing to let me know if I’m in her way to just let me know.. but in my mind I believed that there’s… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gumba,

don’t write it.. start the no contact rule, do at least 30 days..

Luke
Guest
(Didn’t see my comment so I apologize for the double post if it happens) Hello, My Ex and I just broke up a week ago. We had done long distance before when we were both in very tough positions (both in school 7+ hours away after going to the same school and living 5 minutes away from each other for 2 years) and she eventually moved back home to be with me and her family and we made it work another two years. We’ve been dating a total of 4 years and 6 months. I recently graduated moved four hours… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Luke,

that’s ok.. she already said no on meeting you.. you should continue in nc.

Luke
Guest
Hello, My Ex and I just broke up a week ago. We had done long distance before when we were both in very tough positions (both in school 7+ hours away after going to the same school and living 5 minutes away from each other for 2 years) and she eventually moved back home to be with me and her family and we made it work another two years. We’ve been dating a total of 4 years and 6 months. I recently graduated moved four hours west to start a new job while she was still in school and it… Read more »
Ancheet
Guest

Hey chris
What if I told you that she has also blocked me
And its been a month after the breakup
The whole month which I spent begging for her back
I started NC a week ago so
Il follow your methods to the T
But I hope you can help me out with my unique situation

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ancheet,

I’m not sure if you’ve read my reply in your other comment but I’ll paste it here and I can’t guarantee that Chris can answer soon to you too.

That’s why you need to make the most of your nc and to keep improving yourself and being active in posting even after it while slowly building rapport.. You can do 45 days

Steve
Guest
[Conitues the post from Stephan(Same person)] Hey, after NC i send her a letter and got a respinse three weeks later (content: beautiful relationship, but cant workout). After that i responded and we exchanged some messages. She play a little hot and cold and after 2 days of writing, i ended the conversation and wrote called her 2 days alter again. I know the Mock Campaign is diffrent but i thought calling would build more attraction. It was a nice call and we laughed but i kept it short. But now after we wrote and i teased her she didnt… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Steve,

Why a letter and not a text message or a messaging app?

Steve
Guest

Caused it seemed like a goood idea. It was no letter like” I miss u” and “Please come back”, more like ” Listen,This didnt go in the right direction”.ö But i then switched to text. But no because she didnt respond, i dont know when to contact her again..When should i reach out again after a no response?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

A letter is too serious and intimate..it was obvious that you’re trying to get her back.. Do a mini nc of two weeks and then initiate again.. Be active in these two weeks and continue to do so while continuing rapport

Steve
Guest

Okay thanks a lot. can i post updates under this post or should i open a new one?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome! you can post updates here.

Steve
Guest

So i’m doing ths mini no contact for 7 days now. Its pretty tough. One of the main reasons of our break up was the ldr. Now after moving out at home, i feel confident enough to move with somebody else, somewhere else. But i dont know how i could tell her this without coming across as to desperate or something like this. I want to communicate hope for a future together. Whats the best way to tell her this and give her hope?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I’m sorry Steve, did you mean to give her hope of getting back together? mention it when you’ve already built enough rapport and attraction..

Stephan
Guest

Mentioning it in a general term or personal term? for example “i’m now ready to move to another city and not afraid of leaving my old one” or “I’m willing to move in with you”…

Stephan
Guest

You could delete this comment, i only wanted to ask, if you please could delete the part of my second name. I wrote it there by mistake. Thanks

Steve
Guest

Is there anything, excluding scial media, i can do to shift her perspective on me?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I removed your last name.. Posts are a big thing.. if you have common friends and you go out with them, and they tag you too, she’ll probably see that too.. but don’t mention to friends that you’re trying to get her back.. make it seem like you’re moving on.. Don’t tell her that you’re willing to move in with her.. if she doesn’t want to get back with you, you would look like you’re chasing her and it will make her annoyed with you..

Steve
Guest

Now we had a little chat via Whatsapp, she invested very much but again suddenly stopped responding

Steve
Guest

I dont now how to go forward, if everytime i try something i suddenly get no response

Steve
Guest

She also told me that she never wants a LDR again, and i said i understand it, if it would happen to me again, i would change university, and move in a close surrounding. Then joked a little bit about my flat , cause my roommate is moving out

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

How did she respond to that?

Paul
Guest
Hey Chris, My gf is having a tough time with a lot of stuff going on, stress and along with that she finds it hard to be in a relationship right now because she feels she needs time for herself. We talked and we agreed on taking a “break from us” 3 days ago, but not a full break-up. As we are long distance, I sent her a package 3 weeks ago and it arrived yesterday, to my surprise. So she contacted me, she said she cried reading the letter and thanked me a thousand times for the package. I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Paul,

Talk to her and tell her the current aggreement is not workable for you and thank her for everything and then start nc.. That means no replying on your bday..

Paul
Guest
In fact I think I can manage 30 or 45 days NC (more than that and I’m afraid it will definitely kill our chances). The space and time has to do more with her than with me, because I can fix my own stuff and improve myself, my own bad habits… I’m working on it. But even if she wants to go back next week (for example), I think her family problems and her Uni stress might still be there “at least” up until half December. Any suggestions? We were very clear this was just a break and I’ve been… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Focus on what you can control, which is yourself.. If she doesn’t change, what’s your plan?

Paul
Guest

Well, if she doesn’t change or the problem persists, I think we will take more time maybe… I’m already making changes in my life and I just hope for this time in NC for her reconsider our distance, and when I start to reaching out and reattracting her, to continue this together as a couple. I don’t really know what to do if she doens’t change, I will just stick to the plan of getting an Ex back and see what will happen

Jon
Guest
My LDR gf broke up with me after 1year 8months . We had been talking about moving in together within a couple of months. Her and I had been arguing. She had a problematic outburst one day 8/21 and we didn’t really have a chance to talk about due to our schedules not allining. It came out a couple weeks later in a big argument where I brought up how upset I was about it and I initiated a break between us. A little over a week later I decide to reconnect and she lays it on me that she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jon,
You can initiate contact after 30 days because you didn’t reply to her message

Ocin
Guest
My ex gf and i broke up last september, and we were seeing each other. she told me that she loves me and she is moving away for a year, but she’s constantly flirting with other guys. but we always see each other like 2 times a week, i tried to NC her, but i failed, she annoy text call me at the third day. she will be leaving after 2 days. what should i do? i really want her back, should I do the NC rule? how many days? what to do after then? do I use facebook? return… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ocin,

Yes, you should.. Nc means no initiating, no replying, being active in improving yourself and in posting in social media during and after nc while slowly building rapport..do at least 30 days.

Oncin
Guest

thanks amor, but she told me that she wanted to contact me everyday, also she told me that if I won’t contact her, we will be slipping away. what should I do at this point? btw. she already left. hope you can help me. thank you very much

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Sorry for the late reply.
If you’re not in nc, tell her being friends is not working for you

Ocin
Guest

Thanks Amor, but she told me that if we stop communication there is a chance that the feelings will fade, but i dont like our situation right now, its like she’s not sure of me. do I still proceed with NC rule? what are the odds for this?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Sorry for the late reply.
If you’re not in nc, tell her being friends is not working for you

Chri
Guest
I tried posting this comment last week, but for some reason it did not show. So if it comes across twice, I apologize. My situation is a bit different from most. I was in a LDR recently with an amazing woman, since June. We had talked on the phone quite a bit and met several times as well. Everything was great. We had incredible communication and chemistry with each other. Then about 2 months in, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer (she had thyroid cancer a few years back and had recovered completely from it). Once she was diagnosed, she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chris,
Sorry, I just haven’t reached your comment yet.. Well, maybe she wants someone to talk but not to be in a serious relationship with.

Tony
Guest

Hello,

I’ve submitted a comment seeking advice but it does not seem to be approved and I have not received any help. I’m just trying to find out what could be happening here? did i type too many words? was it too complex?

Thank you

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tony,

Sorry, I just haven’t reached it yet. check this one:
The Complete Guide To Getting Ex Girlfriends Back In Impossible Situations

Tony
Guest

Hello Amor,

thank you for your response, but I am confused, why did you refer me to the link?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Because it looks like it’s a combination of distance and her losing interest because of cultural differences

Intae
Guest
Hi, I have an issue about buying “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro” I broke up with my gf 2 days ago. I read and reread posts here as much as I could. We were in LDR as well. I am a college student in CA, and she’s currently working in FL after graduating high school there. We met online 600+days ago, and we visited each other 3 times, about 95 days total living together. We planned to live together soon. She was about to come here in mid-October before her Bday. But since it would be very hard for us to… Read more »
Intae
Guest

Oh, I wrote it wrong, sorry.
**I doubt that she would make a new bf during this period.
She is not really interested in other guys rn. She is just really busy and stressing with her life.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Intae,

Correct me if I’m wrong. You were trying to purchase the exgirlfriend recovery with insufficient funds?

Mike
Guest
Hi, it’s Mike from your other guide about texting your ex back, well as I said we broke up mid june after dating for 1.5 yrs I did 40+ days of no contact , started talking to her again she started trusting me , she told me she had been depressed when I left but now she feels better. She broke up with me.She had been talking to a few people but stopped, now for about a week she told me she had been talking to another guy who is from another country every day, found out yesterday when I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,

Proceed with the meet up and have fun.. Stop minding the other guy, focus in your actions and your impressions in her

Mike
Guest

Thanks for the reply but she seems to be spending all her time with him and focusing only on what he does, barely gets involved in a conversation with me. What do I do in this case?

Mike
Guest

I’m very sorry for posting again but we had a fight, she declines all my offers and barely talks to me, too busy talking to the other guy, so I lost it, she called me immature, should I restart no contact, for how long, bearing in mind I did 45 days before. I feel like this is not worth the effort anymore. Please help.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yeah, the more you do the no contact rule, the less it can help you.. It doesn’t matter if she has more attention for the other guy because what matters is what she remembers and what she feels during and after talking or being with you.. I think do a two week nc as a last resort.. if you can’t build rapport and attraction slowly after that, it would be better to move on.

Stephan
Guest
Hey, my girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and we were in a ldr. I could move to her in about two years and we already had done two years. Is this at the moment worth a try? I could spend maybe around 4 Month per year at her house, but i didn’t do it before, because that are new circumstances. We had a nice break up with “I love you” and “If its meant to be that we come together we will”. Afterwards we both or more likly she decided that its better to get a little… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Stephan,

It’s not a guarantee that it would work, but the advice above raises your chances. So, yes, try it. Try at least 30 days. It’s ok to extend to 45 days..

kelvin carter
Guest
Hello , I got redirected here, My girlfriend of little over a year broke up with me almost two weeks ago because she’s moving to new York for 5 years for school. She said that long distance would drive her crazy ( which I could understand) , and that when she moved back we could try again. We’ve had talks before she actually left the first one we had after the break we were crying and it was really just me trying to claw my way back into the relationship. The second talk wmshe came over my house and we… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

the best advice we can give is for you to start the no contact rule so you can start a new routine and be active in healing and improving yourself. That doesn’t mean you’re going to forget the hurt. That’s how progress work, you keep going through the pain because if comfort is what was fuels progress, everybody would have been successful in what they wanted.

kelvin carter
Guest

How long should I try NC , 21 days?

kelvin carter
Guest

And sorry for the bad grammar i was on my phone and I didnt look over it

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That’s ok..Do at least, 30 days..

Don
Guest
Long story short I met a great girl in California and we hit it off immediately on the first date. I went back home, then deployed. We continued to stay in touch and talked about meeting up when I got back. There were all sorts of plans as far as what we’d do…in fact she had all sorts of plans. Then out of nowhere she said she couldn’t do the LDR thing and needed a break. To be honest, I saw it coming based off of text communication. We never because Facebook friends or anything like that because I left… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Don,

take it slow in building rapport after nc. Take it as a restart.

Alex
Guest
Hey, I need some help with my situation. i from SPAIN my girlfriend from USA, we meet via site dating, we started dating since last september 2016, we talk everyday via whatsapp and skype. i still can’t understand why she broke up with me, she said that she love me a week ago before this, we was so happy and we talked about the time we’ll meet, and about married, and about children’s :(( Please help me i want her back, now am sick i can’t stop think about her, i’ve lost a lot of weithg since she broke up… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Alex,

You just have to make your posts public. So, that even if you’re not friends if she gets curious she’ll see you’re moving on. Be active in improving yourself. Do at least 30 days.

David
Guest
Hey, I have a quick question. My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years, texting and skyping everyday, seeing each other once a month. I live in Northern California and she lives in Baja California, Mexico. Right now she’s in Kazhakstan for an internship and she broke up with me about a week ago. Our relationship was pretty serious: talking about living together, marriage, children, etc., and the breakup was just her crying and saying she couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel for us. I think the distance finally got… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s better to stick with the regular nc period.

James
Guest
Hello! I’m in a really difficult long time relationship breakup that left me with many doubts and I would like to hear your advice. Recently me and my now exgirlfriend broke up after a long distance relationship. We were together 2 years in the same country and we had the most perfect relationship, but then she had to move to the other side of the world and been apart for one more year. For the first 6 months apart, everything went nicely and I even visited her and everything felt right. But then, the day I left, she had a… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I hope you’re still in no contact now, and very active in improving yourself.

James
Guest
We were in no contact until a few days ago. I’ve been improving, having a great time and meeting new people. She wrote me a text for my birthday and said she really wanted to talk, so we had a short talk on Skype. I decided not to ask her about the other guy situation and just let her talk. She told me how much she misses me and that she realized that the other guy was just a mistake. She also confessed that she became really jealous when she saw a photo of me with another girl on Facebook… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I’m confused. If she agreed to fix things up, then you’re back together?

James
Guest
I understand it’s quite confusing. No, we are not back together because she saids she still hasn’t made up her mind about what is going to happen with her life, and so she cannot decide if she can be with me or not. I don’t really understand why she thinks the relationship cannot work if she doesn’t get a job or has to move to another city, but it’s her decision. At the same time, I don’t think she can fix my trust in her throught the internet and I told her that if she wants to be with me,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

ok, what did she say about your conditions? And if she’s not sure too, you need to set a timeline on until when you’re going to give her a chance.

James
Guest
Actually we spoke today and I asked her if she has been thinking about our relationship. She said that she knows that she loves me more than the other guy, but that because of the distance she still cannot decide. She answered me that she still doesn’t know if she can do the things I asked her to do. I told her what I think about the topic and how I feel she left me as a second choice. She promises I am not, but I felt the urge to tell her that she has to decide once and for… Read more »
James
Guest
Hi, just wanted to run my story past you. So basically I met this girl while visiting some friends in the country I used to live in. We got on great, stayed in touch since October, would Snapchat and whatsapp every single day. A few times we’ve tried to curb talking as much because feelings were becoming too strong, and the distance obviously didn’t help. After the last time this happened I decided to book a trip to come over and see her. Everything went great, we had an amazing time and were planning her trip to see me. But… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Did you send it?

James
Guest
I got everything off my chest in a phonecall, but we had no contact since, for 2 weeks. Until today, when she texted me. I’d been out on a few dates and trying to improve myself, was actually feeling better. But this has knocked me a bit. I’m not sure whether she was just checking in, or wanting back into my life, because 2 or 3 texts later she said she’d be in touch soon but says we needed our space. Might have been true for her but now my heads all over the place again. Hopefully I’ll gain some… Read more »
Isaiah Brantley
Guest

I’m trying to get my ex back but it seems like she just laughs in my face at me doing my hardest to get her back and work things out…please help me

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

why did you break up? How long were you together, are you in the no contact period and how much are you improving yourself?

X
Guest
Hi Amor, Just have a question. So my long distance ex split with me almost a month ago. The way it happened was she told me she loved me but she had to leave. I pleaded a bit but to no avail. I realise now I was being clingy and had gone a bit overboard. She said maybe she would visit me if I wanted to talk, I said yeah sure let me know, then she flipflopped at the last second saying it was best we don’t see each other. I said I was disappointed, she replied with you will… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

restart and do at least 30 day..be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media..after that, dont ask to be friends, just be friendly to slowly build rapport while you continue in improvīng yourself

Steven
Guest
We had a 7 month relationship, it was great, she had to leave the country for work and family, we had planned that we would stay together and try LDR, I was going to go see her, the first 2-3 weeks it was fine, we were talking to eachother everyday, 4th weeek we started fighting for nonsense do to being paranoid and just not being physically together plus the time difference, im in Canada and she is in Europe and the relationship became toxic, and we just couldnt communicate anymore so we cancelled the plan and decided to break up,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

do at least 30 days. Don’t just wait. Be active in improving yourself and yes, be active in posting in social media.

Dave
Guest
Hi guys, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 9 months. We were friends before that for roughly 2 years. I have a situation that is a mix of long-distance and a couple of other things. When we started going out she was had been out of an 8 year relationship for about 6 months. She still had feeling for her ex and he played a lot of mind games with her for the first few months of our relationship. This obviously make me uneasy and a bit insecure. Also, she was in communication with another guy from back… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Peter
Guest
Hi Amor, Me and my ex have known each other for about 10 years as we attended the same high school, but only got into a relationship recently which lasted for about 11 months. The reason for the break up was due to LDR as we both attend different universities. The break up was mutual and it ended really well because we had no issues apart from the LDR, and we both agreed that when we did spend time together everything was perfect but when we had to go back to respective universities our communication became difficult near the last… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Peter,

If doing nc will not help you with your exams, do it after exams.. And check the link below:
Can I Prevent My Ex Girlfriend From Being With Someone Else?

Peter
Guest
Hi Amor, thanks for your reply. I decided to go ahead with NC and it was going really well but the other day we had a social event together in which my ex was there, so I continued the NC but obviously kept it civil with her and said “hi”. However she continuously kept coming up to me or trying to get my attention to have a chat but I kindly just walked away or kept it extremely short and went over to my friends. By the end of the night she tries the same thing again but I don’t… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you handled it well at first but you need to start it over after talking to her

Jake
Guest
Hi, (sorry for it being a long read) I will start this by saying that i had been in a “depressed” kind of mode for about 7 years due to a time when i got hit by many things at once during my university years. I was 22. I am now 29. While still in the city, i changed to study somthing different i met my now ex. After many other relationships she felt like THE ONE. Things were great but after a year of dating i had to go back to my city (1 hour drive away). We would… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jake,

It’s very important to improve yourself because that helps in rebuilding attraction.. She wont be attracted if she still sees you as the old you

Anzac
Guest
My relationship is a long distance relationship. I am 5 years younger than my girlfriend. I have been with for for 6 years, 2 years as a friend who is in one sided love ( she knew about it) and then 4 years as her boyfriend. My relationship started on 2012 December 11 and she broke up with me this feb 10th 2017. Throughout all these 4 years of our long distance relationship we didn’t even meet once, we never saw each other physically only through skype and phonecalls were we talking to each other(we wanted to but we never… Read more »
Anzac
Guest

I forgot to mention that the breakup happened on 10th Feb 2017

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Anzac,

Try to talk to her, if she doesn’t want to try the no contact rule.

Anzac
Guest

But the no contact rule will only help me if she is trying to contact me. She isn’t trying to contact me.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Nope, the no contact rule will help if you improve yourself and then slowly rebuild rapport after nc while continuing to improve yourself. That is whether she contacts you or not during nc, because if she does, you have to ignore it.

James
Guest
Hi to Chris and the EGR team, I found this guide extremely helpful, and it was reassuring that the way I was planning on going about things is basically what you recommended. My situation is a little more complex, however, due to the reasoning behind the breakup. My (now ex) girlfriend lives in a different state, but she is a flight attendant so we actually got to see each other rather frequently. I would fly on discounted tickets to see her, and she would request to work layover flights to my city (on average we’d get 2-3 nights together about… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi James,

I think you should take it slow after nc.. Text first. Be friendly, instead of asking it. Slowly rebuild rapport.

James
Guest

How do I keep from being “friendzoned” if I act friendly? Would it not be better to make my intentions/feelings clear and explain how I think things could work out between us?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

it’s like starting over as two people who don’t know each other. You’re just friendly at first and slowly build rapport and attraction because over time you’re going to be more flirty too. Declaring love to somebody who doesn’t love you or doesn’t want to is like asking them to marry when they’re not ready..

James
Guest

Ah, now I understand what you meant. The more I look at it the more I think you’re right. Since we were long distance, the time we spent together was kind of like playing house instead of dating. I’m going to acknowledge things moved too quickly, and ask for another chance this time going at a more natural pace without the long distance. If she says yes to meeting, how do I go about that first conversation? Anything I should avoid saying?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you mean the conversation at the meeting? Just be natural at that moment. Talk about catching up, what you can see, what you’re eating, interests, plans, everything good and fun and then leave at high point.

Jan
Guest
Hi Chris and Amor, My girlfriend and I were together for 5 years (4 years we were in a long distance relationship) and we just broke up more than a week ago (before valentine’s day. It sucks. yeah). And throughout the time we had no contact, I never had visited this site. And good enough, I think I did the best of my situation. I never made contact with her, I kept my emotions always in check, and I go out often to eliminate me overthinking and asking questions to my self that I know has no answers. But then… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jan,

well, it’s common to ask that, and you didn’t have a negative reply right? But for me, that actually hurts your chances for no contact because it’s already set that you would meet in a month. It’s like she’s friendzoning you.. So, I think you should tell her that being friends is not working for you now and then do the no contact period for at least 30 days. Don’t tell her that you’re doing that and that you’re doing 30 days.

Ria
Guest
hi i read the article about how to win back the ex. i was in 2 year relationship with a girl also but she lives in singapore, and i live here in Philippines, but my problem here is every time i message her she wont reply of my messages so by that i get a little bit mad because i did all the effort to get her back.. but there is a instance that she reason that she is always busy at her work which i understand. so my question is is it over for me or should i stop… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ria,

When did you break up? Did you do the no contact rule? How much did you improve?

Stanley Clark
Guest
So me and my ex dated for 7 months, all long distance. Everything was going fine, I was doing my thing in this program calied FEMA Corps, traveling throughout the US helping disasters and she was taking classes in Grad school. She surprised me with the break up call last week, saying there’s been a lake of communication, she doesn’t feel like we connect on as deep a level as we used to and that we might grow apart while I’m abroad in the peace corps. Ah yes, what makes matters worse is that in June I’ll be leaving for… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Stanley,

if she’s just afraid, why not just make more effort to talk to her, so that she’s reassured that everything is going to be fine. It will be harder but you won’t, like, disappear on her.. because maybe that’s what she’s afraid..

Jose
Guest
Hello I was dating distance for 2 years and she broke up with me on in this month, I am just having the worst month of my life, not kidding… I am going to visit her on April, trying to have a last chance… I’ll be there 2 weeks, the first one I will be like talking, having fun, cinema, etc. starting the 2nd one I’ll ask her to be my girlfriend. So, during the first week do you recommend me to have sex with her if she wants? I mean let go for the things without putting pressure or… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jose,

that looks like chasing.. why did she break up with you?

Jose
Guest

Thanks for answering!
I meant till she say yes for we to be couple*
She broke up with me because of distance… and she stopped feeling less love for me, she say she wants to feel a lil bit of freedom.

No haha, I’ll not chase her, just saying that if she wants to have sex… what about if I say no because we are not couple, it would be more effective for she to say yes for we be couple? or just go with the flow?

Jose
Guest

Thanks for answering!
I meant till she say yes for we to be couple*
She broke up with me because of distance… and she stopped feeling less love for me, she say she wants to feel a lil bit of freedom.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

during nc dont sleep with her.. just focus in improving yourself but after nc you can even if you’re not together yet

Uriel
Guest
So, I have a bit of an extra problem on my hands. Me and my LDR ex broke up some time ago on our first meeting. She broke up on me, but I know that the fault was mine as I introduced the idea of a break up to her and drove her to it by displaying ever lowering self confidence and letting myself go physically due issues in my personal life. Both of these are things I will be working on during my NC, which is already in its early days. The break up was the best one I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Uriel,

how old are you both? who is she more happy with? with you or with her best friend?

Uriel
Guest

Hello Amor,

I am 27 and she is 22. The BFF is 26 years old.

She was happier with me while I still had my confidence intact. I was playful and confident, we had really nice and long Skype calls. She even criticized her BFF to me back in the day. However, I became quite unbearable towards the end. I met all the requirements for killing attraction. So by the time we split up, she preferred her company to mine.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

ok, well, you can’t control them.. you can only control yourself.. so be active in posting, because that’s your indirect way of showing your better self

Jonathan
Guest
Hi, The one that got away 25 years ago started messaging me in December. I had never dreamed it would ever be possible. We started lots of romantic, detailed texts about each others past lives etc. I am 42 and so is she. She lives in Cape Town South Africa and I live in Harare, Zimbabwe. 2400km away. After about two weeks of intense messaging, voice messages and intimate but not sexual selfies, she said she had been thinking and it was all over. I was beside myself. I replied with the normal hope you find the right guys thing.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jonathan,

I hope you’re in the no contact period now..

NL
Guest
So I have a bit of an issue. My ex and I dated long distance for almost two years. I live in Vancouver, she lives in LA. A week after I returned from LA, she broke up with me. Initially, she said that there was another guy and after seeing her again when I was in town for the holidays, she admitted that it was really because she couldn’t take the long distance anymore. When I heard that, I was a bit skeptical because there was actually another guy in the picture and he was her co-worker. At this point,… Read more »
NL
Guest

So to add a bit more detail, she’s been posting almost non-stop about her dates with the new guy. Even my close friends noticed it. The other thing that boggles my mind is that she also got upset when people found out that we broke up.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nl,

it’s not just about being silent, if you cant work out a solution for the problem then yes, you have to move on…

NL
Guest
Thanks for the quick response Amor. I do want her back and plan on implementing ways to lessen the distance, especially those outlined by Chris in the article. It’s a bit surprising though that less than a week after the break up, they already started dating and moving pretty fast. Even her friends and family were pretty shocked when they reached out to me. When I also spoke with her sister, she says that my ex still loves me and is willing to try again but she really cannot take the pain whenever she sees me leave so this isn’t… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yup, he’s more likely a rebound

NL
Guest

Thanks Amor! I’ll keep you guys posted.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you’re welcome! Thanks too!

SV
Guest
My ex-gf ended our almost 2 year long-distance relationship due to being exhausted due to the LDR. She says she loves me and I am the best thing that happened to her but that she needs space to figure things out. Due to her past she is used to find the easiest way to eliminate pain. We live 4 hours apart, and due to my job being flexible and my work travel brining me to her area, I have been able to spend a lot of time there. Of course when she first had these concerns I latched on instead… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Sv,

be active in improving yourself during and after nc.. and then slowly rebuild rapport before asking her out

Jake
Guest
What if my ex girlfriend , decided to move on and found new boyfriend as she wants to have normal relationship , and after 2 months says she(24yr chinese girl) loves him(new guy) and that I should let her go if I love her. She says that her parents like new boyfriend(didn’t like me as I am foreigner) and I think she got engaged. I am not sure if that is so serious , is she in some kind of honeymoon? or does she really want new life. I could not see her for a year and i know was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jake,

Yeah, it can be because they’re still in honeymoon phase but once they get married, of course it’s game over. For now, the best you can do is to improve yourself, once the period ends, she may start comparing you to him.

Mike
Guest
Hello ! I just need your advice on this…me and my girlfriend(now ex) had been dating for almost 3 years, and for the past year and a half we were in a ldr. After I left for uni, we now live in different countries in Europe and due to money issues we can only afford to see each others during the holidays; so like every 2-3 months… We had plans that she would move to where I am this summer… However, when I arrived today for Christmas, she broke up with me, but said she wants to stay friends. She… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mike,

if you don’t do nc now, what’s your plan?

Danny
Guest
Hi Chris and Amor, I read the above article, by which I got really impressed. I need your help for my situation, which is slightly different from the above one. Me and my girlfriend were in LDR from two years. We are in different countries and doing doctorate studies. We meet once in a year. We were very very compatible to each other, deeply in love, so much that we thought that the distances would not affect our relationship. We had also decided to get married after finishing our studies. In the last week, she told me that she has… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Danny

honestly, it’s small.. Even if you’re compatible the othet guy is more present.. Is there a way that to increase the times of seeing each other personally?

Ale
Guest
My ex and I met during a study abroad trip over the summer. We began to date abroad and continued our relationship back in the US. After 2 months of dating, I left across our city to pursue an internship. We decided to have an open relationship and see how things went. The main goal was to preserve the possibility of dating when I returned. Physical affection is very important for her. Before I left, she was slightly more invested than I and would become depressed if I wasn’t available. The distance of the relationship was difficult for us both.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi ale,

so how long have you been in long distance now and how much do you see each other in a month? There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, but it looks like it’s your only choice

Ale
Guest
Hi Amor, Just wanted to say that she ended up calling before the trip, looking to meet. We did and it was excellent to reconnect over the weekend. We’ve been long distance for 2 months and that was our only meeting. I’ll be back in December, so another month without contact but that’s not too bad I suppose. I appreciate your responses. These situations can be such a shock to the system that sometimes it’s cathartic to write it out and hear what a 3rd party has to say. I’d also like to add that no contact helped me step… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome!

Esteban
Guest
Hi, My girlfriend of 3 months literally just broke up with me yesterday. She claimed she needed “direct intimacy” and the fact that we were 3,000 miles away disabled us from that. Also, the week prior to our split, we had the worse week of our relationship where she grew very distant, which she later confessed was not my fault. Outside of this 1 week of distance, we were very much into each other. Texting and facetiming practically every day. She contacted me as much as I did her. But this one week seemed to trigger something in her that… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Esteban,

yup. I agree with your plan.. it’s a.very short nc but I think you need to talk

Jake
Guest
Hey, My ex girlfriend broke up with me because of a misunderstanding. She said we can still be friends but I went straight into NC. After 21 days I reconnected with her and everything seemed fine. I left her wanting more and our rapport was good. Very recently, I transitioned to calling (video calling) and she seemed to have a good time. We laughed and had very little silences. But after the call, our further texting conversations seemed bland. She doesn’t quite return as quickly or with the same amount of words as before. I’m trying to figure out what… Read more »