How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If YOU Broke Up With Her

There are really three outcomes that can occur during a breakup with a girlfriend.

  1. She can break up with you
  2. You can break up with her
  3. The both of you can mutually agree to the break up

Out of these three breakups which “situation” do you think has the least chance of success and which do you feel has the best chance of success?

Hmm…

Well, if an ex girlfriend breaks up with you then that probably tells us that something (for her) isn’t going right in the relationship. Therefore it is going to be a bit harder because the headwind that you have to overcome is whatever feelings you gave her that made her think that she didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore.

But what about if you broke up with her?

What kind of chance do you have if this is your reality?

Most likely, you will have an easier chance of getting her back.

It’s common sense.

HOWEVER, there is a huge misconception that men have when trying to get an ex back in this situation. They honestly believe that the entire process of winning an ex back (if they broke up with that ex) is going to be a cakewalk.

It’s not…

Trust me on that.

Which makes what I am about to say next that much more important.

Guess who I believe has the best chance of winning an ex girlfriend back?

It’s the couples who “mutually agree” to break up.

Why?

Easy, generally speaking there are no super hard feelings between the two.

The same cannot be said in the situations where you break up with an ex or where she breaks up with you.

There are always hard feelings in those situations.

But that’s not so much the case in those mutual breakups but lets get off the mutual break ups because that’s not why you are here. Nope, you are here because YOU broke up with your ex girlfriend and now you are regretting your choice and want her back but you haven’t quite figured out what you need to do to get her back.

Well, I am happy to say that I can help.

But where should I start?

Hmm…

Oh, I know.

Why Your Ex Girlfriend Might Not Want YOU Back

don't want

Usually I start off these guides with a massive insight into the actions that brought you into this situation. Oh, and when I say “massive” I mean MASSIVE. Heck, I would say it’s one of the prime reasons that Ex Girlfriend Recovery has become so popular.

In fact, I have written multiple books (Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO and The Texting Bible) based on these incredible insights.

But I am not going to do that today.

I don’t think you need me to create this laundry list of reasons for why you broke up with your ex girlfriend.

Heck, YOU know why you broke up with your ex girlfriend and while I am a huge proponent of trying to get your ex back for the right reasons it seems like no matter what I tell you, your mind is already made up and you want your girlfriend back.

So, instead of focusing on why you broke up with your ex girlfriend I want to talk about her and what she is feeling. More specifically, why it is going to be pretty tricky for you to win her back.

I suppose the most logical place to start is immediately after the breakup and why your actions will actually work against you.

(Hey, how bout that. I did find some way to dissect your actions.)

You did something that pissed your girlfriend off.

Care to guess what it is?

Nope, it’s not the cheating…

Nope, it’s not the flirting with other girls that one time…

And it’s definitely not the fact that you believe that the Karate Kid is the bad guy of the movie.

(Psst… I do too.)

It’s the fact that YOU had the audacity of breaking up with her.

Now, I don’t know what you said or what you did after the breakup but the mere fact you broke up with her is going to upset her and it creates this invisible headwind that you have to somehow get around if you want to have any chance of getting her back.

Confused?

Ok, I know just what the doctor ordered.

It’s time for me to create my world famous graphics illustrating a point!

(Que the applause!!!)

Ex Girlfriends Headwind

Pretty cool, right?

Lets dissect this a bit.

Obviously in this graphic you are the sailboat and you are sailing towards a destination which I have marked on the far left of the graphic. So, you are traveling down your merry way when all of a sudden you hit this really strong headwind.

As you can see, I have labeled the headwind as your ex girlfriends anger with you since YOU broke up with her.

Now, I am no expert at sailing but even I know that if sailboat hits a headwind it’s going to slow down and in some very rare cases may stop it’s progress forward entirely. Though I suppose you would need some massive hurricane for that to happen.

(I could be wrong though.)

So, how do professional sailors get around a headwind?

Well, usually they turn their sails to the headwind and move from right to left kind of zig zagging their way forward.

Hmm…. think of it like this,

zig zagging

I guess what I am trying to say is that they almost get by the headwind by going around it.

We need to do something similar with you in your situation.

But how?

How can we zig zag around your ex girlfriends anger of the breakup?

Well, my first piece of advice is to implement the no contact rule.

The No Contact Rule And It’s Ability To Diffuse Your Girlfriends Anger

im angry

For those of you who aren’t aware of what the no contact rule is I suggest you check out my book, Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO for a more “in-depth” explanation.

OR I suppose you can click on this link.

Anyways, I am not going to do what I normally do.

(What I Normally Do = Give you a quick crash course for what the no contact rule is.)

Instead, I am going to assume you already know what it is and just continue.

Alright, so what I established above was the fact that your ex girlfriend is going to be upset that YOU were the one that broke up with her. Overcoming this anger (or headwind) is going to be essential to your success.

So, here is my question to you.

What should you do to overcome it?

Your first instinct tells you to apologize or make some grand gesture but that doesn’t work.

In fact, subconsciously she is expecting this. Especially if you made it known that you still care about her but just didn’t want to be with her.

Why though?

Why is she expecting an apology or a “grand gesture” when she is hurt?

It’s actually quite simple.

Let’s say that you were walking down the street one day and you were looking at your cell phone. As you were looking at your cell phone you accidentally bumped into a person walking down the street. What is the first thing you say to the person you bumped into?

(Assuming you aren’t an a**hole.)

“I’m sorry?”

or

“I apologize.”

It’s common courtesy right?

As human beings we have this intense desire to help those who are hurt.

Take a baby who is crying non-stop because it’s very colicky.

A reality that I am living through at this very moment…

Seriously… My daughter has kept me up all night because of colic and is screaming behind me as we speak and my wife is trying to console her.

It’s that simple act of consoling a crying baby that makes us human because we know the baby is in pain and we want to help make it feel better.

Well, your ex girlfriend is subconsciously expecting the same thing to happen to her after a breakup.

She is expecting friends to come to her aid…

Family to come to her aid…

Oh, and even YOU to come to her aid…

But guess what I have found to be the case when you give her, her wish?

She ends up getting angrier.

angry girlfriend

Why?

Because there is nothing you can say at the present moment to make her less angry.

Oh, and if you think asking her to be your girlfriend again will work… it won’t.

She has all sorts of reasons to doubt the stability of a future relationship with you.

Lets look at the situation from her perspective.

One day the two of you are getting along swimmingly and then all of a sudden you break the news to her that you don’t want to be with her anymore. The second she hears this her heart is crushed and she is completely blindsided.

Now, If you have ever been blindsided in a relationship by something then you probably know what I am talking about. However, if you haven’t experienced what this is like then lets let you in on the experience.

I suppose the best way I can explain this is with a quote by UFC Legend Georges St. Pierre,

gsp

It’s not the punch that you can see that knocks you out. It’s the punch you can’t see.

This perfectly describes what it’s like to be blindsided.

She doesn’t want to experience this feeling ever again so if she were to decide to take you back then she would always be living in fear of having that feeling of being blindsided again. I guarantee you that she has run this scenario through her head at least a dozen times.

The future with you is unstable.

Besides, now-a-days it’s looked at as a taboo to take an ex back.

Seriously, what is the first thing that friends say to a woman who has had a boyfriend who just broke up with them.

“Oh, you are better off without him…”

“All men are dogs…”

“Plenty of fish in the sea…”

Getting an ex back isn’t very popular and the closer you are to the breakup the more intense these feelings of anger are and then you have the added benefit of dealing with the taboo of taking an ex back so fast.

This is one of the many reasons that I advise that you go into a no contact rule after a breakup NO MATTER WHAT.

I think it’s a universally agreed upon fact that in most cases time going by can diffuse anger.

Thus, by that logic if we let some time go by due to the no contact rule your ex girlfriend won’t have the same anger that she was having towards you right after the breakup.

I sense a graphic coming on…

Anger After NC

A couple of things I want to point out here.

Obviously your ex girlfriend is going to be super upset after the breakup and after some time goes by (preferably by a NC rule) she isn’t going to be as upset. However, I was really clever when picking the face emoticons in the graphic.

I want you to notice that the face that I have under “your ex after the no contact rule” is still not very happy.

In fact, it looks like there is some disappointment in that face, doesn’t there?

Look, one of the biggest misconceptions about the no contact rule is that it’s going to solve all of your problems.

That if you use the no contact rule on your girlfriend she will somehow magically forgive you and everything will go back to the way it was before. Unfortunately it doesn’t quite work that way. Your ex girlfriend will still probably be upset after the no contact rule but she will be nowhere near as upset as she was immediately after the breakup before you did the no contact rule.

Just look at the difference between the faces above.

One is seeing red while the other is just a little skeptical/disappointed.

Now, I don’t know about you but that’s one hell of an improvement in a short amount of time.

I know what you are thinking, though…

this face to this face

Well, before I get into that lets talk about the advantage that you do have over other men.

The Advantage You Have Over Other Men & How Good Your Chance Of Success Is

I am a big believer in the power of logical thinking.

In other words, when I try to size up a situation where a man is trying to get his girlfriend back I always ask a few basic questions,

  1. How good of a chance does this situation have of success?
  2. Are there any advantages that this situation has over the others out there?
  3. What about disadvantages? Does this situation have any?

Now, I have already talked about the disadvantages you are faced with if you are trying to get your ex girlfriend back if you broke up with her but what I have yet to talk about is how good of a chance you have of getting her back and if you have any advantages over any of the other situations out there.

I suppose we can talk about your advantage first.

(Oh ya… I forgot to mention that you do have one.)

The BIG Advantage That You Have Over Other Men

advantage in everything

Lets hit the pause button, zoom out and take a look at the big picture of the situation you are in.

Right now we know three things.

Thing #1- You were the one who broke up with your girlfriend

Thing #2- She is probably upset at this fact

Thing #3- The best way that you can combat this anger right now is to implement the no contact rule.

Well, I am about to let you in on thing #4.

Are you ready?

The fact that you were the one who broke up with her can actually serve as an advantage when it comes to getting her back.

Weird, right?

Well, it’s not actually that far out of left field when you think about it.

Human beings always seem to desire that which they cannot have.

I often use this example to describe men for the women on my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery but I am going to reverse engineer it for you since I feel it applies to women and I even mentioned this little example a bit in my last article.

Lets pretend that a woman is faced with the very tough decision of choosing between you and your clone.

There is nothing that is different between the two of you at all.

Same looks…

Same personality…

Same job…

Same weird birthmark on your left buttcheek…

(Too much?)

The ONLY thing that differs between the two of you is that she dated you and she hasn’t dated your clone yet.

Now, let me ask you a simple question.

Out of the two of you which do you think she will desire more?

Notice how I have the phrase “desire” bolded?

I did that because I am not asking who should is more likely to date again. I asked who she desires.

My money is on the fact that she is going to desire the new experience… the new guy (even though he is your clone.)

Remember, men and women always want what they can’t have.

And this brings us full circle.

YOU were the one who broke up with your ex girlfriend. You know what that means, right?

You put your ex girlfriend in a position where she is forced to desire you.

Why?

Because even though she did technically “get you” at one point you ultimately broke up with her which is essentially the equivalent of telling her that she can’t have you anymore.

Now, I don’t know about you but that automatically puts her in a position where she is going to have to seek YOUR approval to get you back.

At least, that is what she is going to think.

And therein lies your greatest advantage.

When you do begin your campaign to get her back you will always have this on your side. She will always be under the assumption that she wasn’t good enough and there is nothing more than women love to prove to men that they are good enough.

Trust me on this.

But there is still a very pressing question to answer.

What kind of chance do you really have of success?

How Good Of A Chance Do You Really Have Of Success?

3d printing meme

One of the things I like doing here at Ex Girlfriend Recovery is assigning a certain percentage value to a certain situation.

Generally speaking the higher the percentage the better the chance.

Oh, and just so we don’t get out of hand with percentage the max percentage you can get is 100%. Of course, when it comes to getting an ex girlfriend back there is no percentage that is that high.

In fact, I would say that if you had something like a 40% chance of success that, that would be an amazing number.

Why am I telling you this?

It’s because I am going to attempt to assign a percentage to your situation.

Oh, and in case you forgot,

Your Situation = You Breaking Up With Your Ex Girlfriend

One of the biggest advantages that I have over other people in my field is that I interact with a lot of men and women in the comments of my articles. It is through these interactions that I am able to preach my message and see the kind of results they yield.

Now, some people are willing to get their exes back but they have problems following instruction.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that I am trying to teach two men to get back with their ex girlfriends after they broke up with them.

Man A

&

Man B

Now, lets also say that I come up with the very best strategy for getting an ex back in this situation and I teach it to both men.

Man A listens very intently but when push comes to shove he falters from the game plan and ultimately fails to get his ex back.

Man B, on the other hand, not only listens to the game plan but implements it to a T and gets his ex back.

I taught this very same strategy to both men so that means that my strategy had a 50% success rate, right?

Technically yes but there is a problem.

Man A did not follow my strategy. Instead, he opted to follow his own and while that can work sometimes it didn’t in this case. In my mind this ruins things because the strategy that I taught him is very different than the strategy that he actually employed.

What’s the point of me telling you this?

When I talk about the percentage of success I am only taking into account the people who followed the strategy perfectly.

In other words, if any alterations were made from the strategy I taught it doesn’t count because those alterations can really matter to your ex girlfriend.

I know what you are thinking…

“OK OK OK We get it… Just tell us what the percentage for success is in our situation.”

Honestly…

And I am not bullshi*ting you here.

A situation where YOU broke up with your ex girlfriend has the best chance of success out of all the situations out there.

I would say that if 100 men attempted to get their exes back in this particular situation 40 of them would succeed if they used my strategy.

In other words, 40% of them wold succeed using the strategy I am about to teach you.

Are you ready?

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If YOU Broke Up With Her

I want you to take a look at the graphic I put together below.

Study it because it is EVERYTHING you are going to need to get your ex girlfriend back assuming you broke up with her,

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Now, I am not going to lie to you.

This is the premise of the strategy that I teach in Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO and I am not going to be teaching you all of it today.

(Hey, I have to leave some of you wanting more.)

Nevertheless, I am going to dissect it a bit for you here.

I look at this strategy as having three parts.

Let me show them to you,

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

So, the three parts are,

Part One- The No Contact Rule

Part Two- The Value Chain

Part Three- Success

Lets talk about part one for a second.

PART ONE- The No Contact Rule

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Sound familiar?

Yup, I already talked a lot about this and told you how important it was to diffusing your ex girlfriends anger.

Notice how I have strategically placed the no contact rule before anything else.

This is because I want to make sure your ex girlfriend is at a place emotionally where she will at least be responsive to you.

Now, what do I mean by that.

As you are about to learn with the value chain, I am a big believer in using text messages to “work your way up” the value chain. However, it’s kind of impossible to move up this value chain if your ex looks like this every single time you reach out to her,

That’s where the no contact rule comes in.

Like I said above one of it’s many purposes is to get your ex girlfriend at a place emotionally where she will accept messages from you.

Once she is in this place that’s where we can turn our attention to part two of the process.

PART TWO: The Value Chain

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back copy

I have talked about “The Value Chain” a lot on this website specifically here and here.

(Heck, it’s the premise behind Ex Girlfriend Recovery PRO.)

Can you see the value chain alright?

No?

Ok, let me zoom in on that one part for you,

value chain

How’s that?

Good?

Alright you will notice that there are four main parts to the value chain.

  1. Text Messages
  2. Phone Calls
  3. A Small In Person Interaction
  4. A Romantic In Person Interaction

In a nutshell this is the order that you have to communicate with your ex girlfriend.

So, you start off with text messages…

Then you move to phone calls and then to the small in person interaction and finally the romantic in person interaction.

Now, I know you want details but I am not going to give them to you…

Well, maybe I will give you one big tip.

It’s this idea of always leave your ex girlfriend wanting more.

The premise is actually quite simple.

You get your ex girlfriend all worked up to where she is hanging on your every word and then at the climax you suddenly just end….

Kind of like I am about to right now!

PART THREE: SUCCESS!!!

great success

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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128 Comments on "How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back If YOU Broke Up With Her"

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abhinav raj
Guest
I was taking care of my girlfriend and we have made lots of promise and dreams,but I was not so serious at first but she was very honest and good and she supported till her last.Recently she stopped talking and she lost trust and think I am lying to her ,so she insulted me gave a slap in public as I was very angry and have black mail her,but now I realize I m in love with her .But the problem is she is with the person whom she hate the most and that guy came at this time when… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Abhinav,

Why did she lose trust in you, and are you going to do he no contact rule?

.
Guest
Hey i need help bad i really messed up so much! Basically me and my ex were dating for 3 months and it was the happiest time off my life and i started feeling depressed e.g i was crying every night and she couldn’t really comfort me and i got very down often. This was fine with her, but i was confused on why i wasn’t happy i thought she was the reason and i ended up braking up with her quiet harshly i must say. And after 2 days i started regretting it so much i mean you know… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Norman
Guest
Hi Chris, I would like to ask for a bit of guidance, since I’m in a strange position. I’ve been together with my gf for 5 years and my gf is confused between 2 guys me and the other guy. And so far, I made some mistake, I asked her to choose between him and me, so I’m kind of waiting for her answer. This situation raises a question, “have i broke up with her yet?”. I would like to know before i do the NC period, should I establish that we broke up with her? Or just proceed to… Read more »
Norman
Guest
On other notes, I have prepared all kinds of improvements I need to make, since I already workout when I was with her so she’s used to it, I chose to take guitar and singing lesson, cursive writings (for gifts), and psychology course. I’ve got a whole list of changes, things I’m going to do after successfully getting her back, training my ego and mentality to suit the “alpha male” image, all those technical stuffs you taught me, so please let me in into this, if there is even a slightest chance that I can get her back, I would… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Norman,

You’re not broke up yet.. Do nc, once it clear if you broke up

Norman
Guest

Ok, thank you

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You’re welcome!

Norbert
Guest
Hi, Me and my ex-girlfriend were together for 2,5 years and we lived together for 6 months. I am 26 and she is 19 ( but she is mature for her age ) Our relationship was a dream, i really think that she is the love of my love even if we won’t get back together. But we started to have multiple fights about little silly things. I broke up with her a lots of times, during 2,5 yrs but only for 1-2 days. I know f***ed it up this part because i was too intense and could not bear… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

You can initiate contact after nc, but if you weren’t active in improving yourself and in posting, restart the count of nc..

Will
Guest
Hello, I broke up with ex six months ago. The relationship was great for the first two and a half years but the last few months were full of fighting mostly because she felt like I wasn’t ready to take the relationship to the next level. She is 37 years old with two kids in elementary school. Maybe taking on the responsibility of being a parent played into my decision. I broke it off, moved out and proceeded to travel and teach overseas for a few months. After a two month nc I reached out and poured my heart out… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Slowly build rapport while you are improving yourself

Joe
Guest
To sum it up, I dated a girl for 2 years. She started being really induced for some reason and started turning controlling and manipulative so I broke it off with her. I wrote a harsh breakup text cause I reached my breaking point. We didn’t talk for two months and she saw me out and tried to make me jealous. It was annoying as shit but I shrugged it off. She texted me a sincere apology to make things work out. She tried hard and I gave in but still had bad feelings, so we argued and stuff but… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

how are you now Joe?

R
Guest
So based on every article I’ve read, I may have already messed up by violating pretty much all of the “don’ts” of getting back with your ex. This was my first relationship. We dated for nearly 2 years and everything was going well up until the end, where I began feeling suffocated and wanted space. We are two very different people by nature; I’m introverted while she’s outgoing and needs constant attention (she acknowledged this). Truthfully, I wasn’t being a very good boyfriend either; I didn’t take her out often or spend as much time with her as I should… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi R,

Why not try the advice above?

chris
Guest

my problem is almost the exact same except she didnt apologize but kind of went on a tangent about how i broke her heart and what not which made me feel so bad after thinking about how much i cared about her and wanted to protect her but in the end i was the one who actually hurt her the most.

Optimus
Guest
Hello, I just wanted to know. I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 3 years for about 6 months now. I’ve completely disappeared from her life and am still on NO CONTACT. However, it seems that she has decided to do same. Its been 6 months, I didn’t get a call, a text, nothing, never bumped into her!! I think am only asking this question because I miss the relationship and no HER. She was full of problems, thats for sure. But I kind of miss having a relationship with “substance”. I know I will meet someone even better… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That’s hard to say.. If you want a relationship, go out more and do what you love so you can meet people with the same interests.. because if you’re not going to get back with her, it doesn’t matter if she contacts you again or not

Carlos
Guest
I broke up with my girlfriend and I really feel like shit. We were having a (text)argument and i just said lets just go our separate ways and since we both are kind of stubborn we stopped talking for a few weeks to each other. The argument was mainly about the both of us feeling unwanted by the other to sum it up. I feel like i was a jerk to her for a while because of the problems i had at the time. -jobless -broke -just feeling down at the time -it felt for a while like she didn’t… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Carlos,

Restart 30 day nc,.focus in improving yourself and being active in posting in social media and then take that as a restart.. Build rapport slowly instead of asking her back right away..

Carlos
Guest

hey can my name be edited out? for privacy reasons i did it by accident….

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Sure 🙂

Jay
Guest
I was friends with this girl for about 8 years, since high school, I showed my interest to her here and their but we would mostly be busy being involve with other people, until last January. She started showing interest and then we stared dating. Everything was great, many laughs, many good times and never any arguments. It went on this way for about 10 months. September, I started nursing school and had less time ot hang out. We went from 4 or 5 times a week to maybe once or twice a week. I start to notice a change.… Read more »
Jay
Guest

Edit: I am completely dedicated to making my next gf work harder for me, and my goal is to maintain the attraction thru self improvement, and requirement of equal or more effort by the girl, regardless of whether m next girl is a new girl or if I get back with my ex. But should I even try to get back wit her?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jay,

I think it would be better to have a good communication whether with her or with your next of what makes each other happy.. because maybe her love language is time.. her mistake is that she pretended to be happy even if she weren’t

Kmari
Guest
Hey my name is Omari and was looking for any help. My ex and me were together for 4 years. We lived together too. I broke up with my ex about a month ago. I broke up with her out of angry because she emotionally cheated on me. After the brake up she went to stay at a friends house. I realized I made a huge mistake and wanted her back. So I went into NC. The second week of NC she contacted me and wanted to meet up. I broke NC and went to see her. Once I got… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Jim
Guest
Dear Chris & team, I’ve been having a real rough time getting my ex back over the past few months. We have been together for 5 years and lived with each other for 4. In the situation where I got my ex back after i broke up with her and moved into another townhouse without her I was going swell and she wanted me back madly but what was halting me from accepting her was she was still talking to the guy who she emotionally cheated on me with online. She told me she regretted it and i told her… Read more »
Jim
Guest

Just to add on that last msg I sent, I asked her to tell me how she felt even if it wasn’t what I would like to hear.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jim,

what did she say to that? At this point, if you’re going to build rapport, you have to be more friendly and use every opportunity that comes naturally to do that, like the concert.

Glen
Guest
This feels stupid but hey lets try anyway So In January of this year I started talking to this girl that I’d met last year at a local event, we got on well but didn’t talk at the time. In January we started talking a lot and decided to meet up, and we both clearly had feelings for each other and the first date went perfectly, and we were a couple not long after that. We were together for about 6 months and everything was amazing, we really loved each other and even though some bits weren’t great (she had… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Glen,
instead of trying to convince her through words, do it by action. You have to really improve, be different from the guy she was before.

Nick
Guest
I was together with my ex for a little over a year, at the time I had other things that were making me emotional and I shouldn’t have made the decision to break up but I did. I messed up and begged for her back and apologized and everything, then I sent the clean slate text and started no contact. I am now almost completely through my 21 days of no contact which will end on Thursday. My ex had sent me 2 texts before during my three weeks and yesterday she sent me “Hey Nick. Can we talk?” I’m… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Nick,

did you talk?

Nick
Guest
Yes I did after my 21 days of no contact were over. I used one of the example texts after no contact and the response was positive! I made sure to end the conversation first. I started a second conversation and it went well except she had to go somewhere for school and she waited to respond to me until after which was around 10:30 pm. I didn’t want to respond around 11:30 as I usually wait an hour to respond right now so it doesn’t seem like I’m waiting on her to respond. The last text though didn’t have… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

In those cases, if yoy can send messages everyday do so..and then just rest for 2-3 days maybe after 4-5 days of continuous talking until you can procees to calls

InRegret
Guest
Chris and Team, I’m trying to get my ex back after 8 months of NC. We dated for about 6 months, but I didn’t have my s*** together and I broke up with her. I was struggling getting over a prior relationship that lasted many years, and couldn’t open myself up fully which was causing communication issues on my part. 
She is the most amazing woman I have ever met, and over all it was the most amazing relationship I’ve had (I’ve dated off and on since). I blamed her for much of the break up, which she took it… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Inregret,

ok.. let’s say, she did receive the letter, then let’s say that’s your clean slate letter. Start to be more active in social media now, act like you’re moving on before messaging her.

Ali
Guest
This might be too long, and I am sorry in advance, so if you read it, It is very much appreciated 🙂 I left my ex 4 years ago, because she was leaving to another country for a year and I didn’t wanna be in a long distance relationship, I got with another girl shortly after and she thinks I left her for the other girl, which is not true. She was very broken and we stayed kinda close to each other during the period where i transitioned from her to the other girl (which I didn’t really wanna do… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI ALi,

It’s ok that you’re the one initiating.. It would really take baby steps especially if you’ve been hot and cold before.. As long as you’re the one ending the conversation at high point.. Especially that you’re long distance.. it would take a long time of building rapport..

Ali
Guest
That’s nice to hear! The thing is, we would be having an amazing conversation, she would send me loads of messages and share a lot of songs she likes (I asked her to share some songs, and she shared a lot, she kept sending me songs for a long time, even after I ended the conversation) and then out of the sudden, I ask her for help in something, she took 2 days to reply, but she did help, she laughs after many things I say, uses a lot of happy emojis, and make jokes, and then suddenly I start… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

that means you have to rest for now.. the conversations are getting boring and I think you’re starting to look like you’re chasing her.

Jonas
Guest

I broke up with my girlfriend about a week ago. And I already regret it. The worst thing is that we study in the same school and in the same class. It would be much easier to me to not see her almost every day. I broke up with her because I wanted to get better at myself, I tried to explain it to her, but hopeless. She thinks that I broke up with her beacuse I’m tired of her or something. Is there anything that I can do?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jonas,

if she doesnt believe you, stop trying to convince her and start improving yourself instead

Dominic Cruz
Guest
Well after trying to be friends and thinking that I could work it out with her. It didn’t work, so I told her how I felt and that I couldn’t be just “friends” because I love her more than anything. I also told her if you can’t see through us, then I respect that. But if you change your mind and you do see through us, then you know where to find me. So I’m a let go and let God. I felt she was stringing me along because I was always the first and last person she talked to… Read more »
Nick Clark
Guest
I broke up with my girlfriend about a little more than 2 months agof because my family didn’t like her and she wanted me to move in with her, but I wasnt ready for that, and I broke it off with her while went on a family vacation and broke her heart. I realized that I do love her and after this time has past I need her in my life, I regret what I did, and there’s alot of issues I caused with my family knowing about mine and hers business so I messed up there. She told me… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nick,

are you in no contact rule now?

Dominic Cruz
Guest
Hey, my name is Dominic. I was in a off and on relationship 3 times and I broke it off again because we got into a real nasty argument where her insecurities went overboard. She got jealous about a co-worker who left across the country to pursue a different career and I had no interest in this other woman at all. However, she saw that I was interacting with her through twitter 2 weeks later, not even close to be flirting and she flipped out on me. She talked to me as if I had cheated on her and then… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Dominic,

you have to really back off now.. Letting time pass is the only choice.. but ofcourse, you can’t just wait for time to pass.. you have to show you have moved on. SO, that someday when she knows you have moved on, she wouldn’t have second thoughts being friendly again.

Dominic Cruz
Guest

Well I have backed off for some time. Now she is contacting me via direct messages (similar to text message) under a new account. She previously deleted her other one because she tried avoiding me. Under her new account, I’m acting like I don’t know who she is, but I’m talking to her giving her the good night and good morning treatment. I noticed she is missing me. How do I keep progressing this?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

That means the no contact is broken.. If you’re acting like you don’t know who she is, does that means she’s using a different name? Once she knew that you know that’s her, would she change the way she talks to you?

Dominic Cruz
Guest
In the past couple days we have talked. We talked about what went wrong and how we could of been better. She said to me that she can’t see through anymore. However, she told me she loves me and we started talking great things to each other. After she told me she loved me and vice versa, she said all the great characteristics about me and I said the same to her and she told me to give it time. She still loves it when I tell her good night and sweet dreams because that was something I did everyday… Read more »
Dominic Cruz
Guest

We are best friends to each other and she knows I would do anything for her. Btw she knew I knew it was her under that account, but the way she talked to me felt like we were getting to know each other even more hence that’s probably why she told me, “let’s give it time.” She knows I want to be with her, but I have to break the cycle of the off again and on again. And so far, I’m recognizing that very clearly.

Mark
Guest
I lost my job and gf on the same day. We fought because I was feeling sad etc… We got back together a day or 2 after and then I called it off shortly after that because I couldnt deal with everything that was happening. I cant stop thinking about her and I dont want to meet anyone esle, however, I needed a break, I was going crazy. She says because I broke up with her that it’s over and it’s time for us to move on. I chatted with her tonight and it almost seemed like she was interested… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Mark
Are you back together now? hope you are

Frank Li
Guest
Hi I (23M) recently broke up with my girlfriend(20F) last week. I broke up with her because we were not always on the same page and struggled sometimes with having deep conversations. I kept seeing her flaws and it built up in me before I broke it off with her last week. After thinking about it more this week, I have realized how selfish I was in the relationship and how much effort she had put into the relationship to try it make it work, while I kept criticizing the relationship. The past few weeks I have seen her change… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi frank li

since you already told her that.. stick to it and use the remaining days to improve yourself

Diego
Guest
Hi there, me and my girlfriend of around 6 months recently broke up about 4 days ago. We started dating, then I moved about 2 hours away for school. I felt that as time passed by she wasn’t as happy, and I guessed it was because of the long distance. 4 days ago, she told me she didn’t feel like talking and that she wasn’t happy and that she didn’t know what to do. Thing is, two weeks ago, I decided to move back. I’m moving back in a week. I noticed how unhappy she was, but I never asked… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Diego,

wait for a week.. SO, that means that’s when you’re back there.. Talk to her when you arrive there..

Gedas
Guest
Hello guys. My situation is simple. Just few points. We lived for 7 months togethere and we know each other for 18 months. We had a big arguing after another and i decided that i dont wnat that anymore. So i packed my stuff and got out. Also i said a lot of nasty words to her. After 3 days i regret that so i wrote sms that i forgot few things, we met for a few minutes, it was cold short conversation. Then later that day i called and invited for dinner, she refused, but we met next day.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Gedas,

if you feel that way, that’s good.. You should try it!

Madara
Guest
We broke up 2 times already,our relationship started 2010 i was her first boyfriend. the first broke up was 2011 and i beg her to comeback. then the next year while we’re at college (im architecture student. she’s accountant) 2012 We’re both busy studying that time there’s a conflict on our schedule. i broke up with her through text because we seldom meeting each other for the last 3 months. I feel miserable with our broke up. i hurt her badly. I dont text or meet with her for these last 3 months before I broke up with her. This… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Madara,

Try first, if she replies positively take it slow and build rapport.

kenny
Guest
ok my problem is pretty huge. So me and my ex we have a long history together… we broken up 3 times now including this one… I broke up with her the first time…. i regretted it.. i was crawling and begging for her to come back . Then i found out she was with a guy and then later it did not work out with the guy and she came back to me….. Then we got back together for few months and then she decided to dump me again because I give her too much… then she immediately found… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kenny,

With everything that happened, you should be the one who’s angry.. She’s so used to you being there whenever she wants to.. if youbreally want her back.. at least make her prove you’re not an option

chenny
Guest
Hi I recently got dumped by my girlfriend, After valentine day we haven’t talk but on that day she seem a little bit off. And after the a while i kept calling her and texting her she didn’t reply. Couple day later she text me back saying she don’t have time she have to study. Then one day she finally text me and say we need to talk. I already feel the chill down my spine, on that day my love come to a end she said she want to break up with me. She told me during that one… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chenny,

Sorry for the late reply.. If she said she’s annoyed with your texts abd calls then definitely do nc.. do an active no contact… improve yourself anf be active in posting in social media..don’t post anything relating to her or the relationahip..

Larry
Guest
I was searching for help for getting my ex fiance back when I found your site and I am hoping you can help me. Here we go. I was involved with this girl I met online a little over a year ago. She is in college and has no phone of her own. Being a former college student myself I know how busy it can be. One day we were chatting and she said she doesn’t have time for me which upset me to hear so I said to her “I’m breaking up with you” She came back and said… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Larry,

when did you break up?

Jay
Guest
Hey Chris, Read your article on what to do if you broke up with her, and want her back. Will try to keep it brief. My ex and I dated for about 11 months, and only 2 months into it she started staying at my place. We got along great, went on trips, I hung out with her friends, family. Everything was perfect and I didn’t mind her staying. I don’t know what happened, but over time we started arguing more. I started feeling less attracted to her overtime and missed being single and hanging out with my friends. To… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jay,

How long has she been seeig the other guy? While tecting, do you think you can make it interesting instead of doing nc now?

Jay
Guest

I’d say max of a month, but I don’t see any proof on FB or in texts. What do you mean by interesting ? Show I have changed and was sincere about wanting her back ? I have been doing NC for about 3 days.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

It means talking about topics she loves the most. If this was all like starting from the beginning, and you know she doesn’t like you, what would you do to keep her interested in you?

It’s like that but the difference now is that you already know what she loves and likes talking about.

Jay
Guest
We have been texting a little more and I have been throwing in a lot of humor which is one thing she always liked about me – she has been more receptive lately. However, when our relationship topic comes up, she always makes a point that she is falling for someone else and every single time, brings up how bad I hurt her and how she blames me for a lot of arguments we have had..and usually she starts ignoring me after that for a period. When it came up today, i just asked her to talk and she said… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

actually, it’s bettet to not raise that topic until she’s attracted enough to get back with you

Jay
Guest

Ok. Yesterday I told her I was buying a smart watch, and then asked her how her day was, and she said “You don’t care”. I don’t know how to interpret that ?

What if she ignores my messages for a day or few days ? Is it ok to limit texting to a every few days ?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

actually that’s a negative comment. That means you have to stop texting her for a few days..

Jay
Guest

She’s just responding with one word texts.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

after trying the texts, and the negative reply..that means the better option now is to do nc

Jay
Guest
We had about 3 consecutive days of really good texting conversations – laughing at eachother’s jokes,etc. And today, I got the ignore treatment. Texted her a few times and got a little frustrated about it. Then she says she has moved on and she can’t do this anymore. She thinks I’m trying to sabotage her and her new bf, which I have said nothing negative about her new bf. She keeps reminding me how we broke up 5 months ago. But to me, we have seen each other less than 2 months ago. I think I really should just give… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

oh no.. I forgot she with another guy…yes, that would really happen because she would protect her vurrent relationship.. since she knows you want her back, yes, the best next move is to stop for now and move on… If the right time really comes at least both of you have moved on from the past

Jay
Guest
Yeah – they started dating almost immediately after her and I saw each other and I was still unsure about getting back with her and wanted to wait a little longer. She told me the other day that I absolutely destroyed her when I broke up with her. She claims she is in love with this new guy after dating him for a month, which to me is immature, and a sign of a rebound. He also doesn’t seem like a quality guy in terms of education and lifestyle, which her and I value greatly. I am in the tech… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

yeah, it does sound like a rebound..if the honeymoon period is over after nc, there’s a greater chance

Jay
Guest

What if she says something negative in text, and then calls the next day during NC ?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

YOu have to be firm on not answering. I know it’s hard but it’s for the best..

Jay
Guest

I didn’t answer. I have been doing NC for a week. Extremely difficult…but working out and talking to other girls helps. Should I give it 20 more days

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

just to clarify, you didn’t finish your first nc right? if so, it’s better to do at least 21 days this time

Jay
Guest
I caved today, after 10 days of NC. Asked her what her weekend plans were, and she said she was busy and is with someone. I continued to say I’m glad you are happy, but I want something serious and if you don’t i’m moving on. She started saying “you treated me like shit”. Also a girl I used to date added me on FB a few weeks ago, and my ex she said I hope it works out with her and i’m sure you are trying to get with her, and you “ruined everything”. I said it shouldn’t matter… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yes, jealousy can mean she cares but it can also mean she is hurt because she’s still possessive of you.. Do at least 21 days since you already did 10.. if you feel you need to extend when you reach the 2st day.. that’s okay

Jay
Guest

Yesterday she said I treated her so bad when we broke up. We were so close after living together for a year. Do you think I need to apologize in any sort of way ? I don’t want to look weak, but at the same time, I want her to know I’m truly sorry and that I have changed. How can I do this, or continue with NC ?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
It’s better if you send a sincere apology..ay least it would be a full reatart after nc and that you never meant to hurt her like I’m sorry on how that moment turned out. Words were said out of emotions and I didn’t mean them. I understand you’re hurt but I hope someday you’ll forgive.. Only time can prove that I have changed and I didn’t mean what I said, so I won’t say promises. something like that.. at least you’re not begging right.. if she replied nicely that’s good, reply back and say thanks and that yoi need this… Read more »
Danie
Guest
Hi Chris, I broke up with my girlfriend (an LDR, 200 km) about a month ago, because she told me she feels that she can’t engage to neither me nor another guy. I take this decision beacuse I wanted to “shock” her and reconsider her decision. We met in March and maybe we had go fast and underestimate some aspect of the relationship, but all was ok. On August she went to a fire preventing camp in Sardinia. When she came back she was different (she often told that she’s like a male beacuse she likes do practical thing). We… Read more »
DANIE
Guest

I send it after the NC

DANIE
Guest

I sent it after NC.

Drew
Guest
So this girl was never officially my girlfriend, but she might have well have been. i met this girl last fall while i was broken up with my girlfriend for about a month due to mixed feelings i had before meeting this other girl. I absolutely loved everything about this girl. She was a 10/10 in my book, more so then my girlfriend who i ended up getting back with right before i headed back home for the holidays out of security it seems. After we all return from break, this girl and i hung out and one thing led… Read more »
Drew
Guest

I didnt commit because of my ex back home. My ex kept trying to get me back. I am nice guy so i didnt want to ignore her, but i missed the opportunity with the other girl, who i really wanted to date.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Drew,
Saying no doesn’t mean you’re not nice.

Jason
Guest
Hey Chris I could really use your help! I have been reading your articles( A little too late I think) after already making a lot of mistakes. So ill give you some background information on my situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years and now were only 22 years old. We were very serious and even planned on getting married, but she was my first girlfriend and only girl ive been with. I didn’t want to look back at my youth and regret not fully living life if she wasn’t “the one” so I decided to end it.… Read more »
Jason
Guest
Well not sure what you were able to read, but long story short I broke up with her / 3 months went by tried getting her back through over the top romantic things/ I was extremely needy/ extremely available to her/ settled for being just friends this went on for around 2 to 3 months . She told me she couldn’t take me back because she couldn’t trust I wouldnt break up with her again. Eventually I told her I had to move on.. 2months later I just opened up the conversation with her. I employed your techniques on trying… Read more »
Jason
Guest
I Have had 2 separate short conversations with her since breaking the no contact period. The first conversation I had was before I came across your guide on texting your ex. I opened the conversation with her because I saw something online about her being signed up for a wedding registry with the date being our anniversary so I was confused and asked her about it, she told me she made it while we were still dating. the conversation went like this from there Me – ” Anything new and exciting going on in your life?” Her- “Nothings new. Just… Read more »
Jason
Guest

Hey Chris, so for an update: she texted me asking me a question 5 days after her ignoring my text and I answered it, but she didn’t reply after. Do you think I should wait a week or two to send her the text I described above in the last paragraph?

Alexander
Guest
ok chris idk if i can be helped or win her back but here we go. my ex i have been dating on/off 4 years. long story short we have a had incredible bond/love but like any couple have had ups and downs. i had tendency to run away when getting fustrated and would breaking up with her. i feel at disadvantage since i have won her back once already, we have been broken up for about 2/3 months. this time she has a new bf already who is in the military and she recently left to go see him… Read more »
al
Guest

hope you have any advice update she wrote to me telling me it isnt the same with him but shes dealing and its not that hes bad, she sent me photos of her getting ready for the marine ball she attending with him. the only thing i feel worried is she hasnt wrote since then maybe it went well is all i can think .

al
Guest

hey chris update i saw her at the mall it was very nice for 15 min on her work break we got food . i made the mistake of trying to visit her at night and she was on the phone with her current bf, and said it wasnt fair that we tried too many times and that he deserves a shot. i feel the hot cold treatment and idk what to do anymore i did tell her i was going to leave her alone.

al
Guest

so she told him she needed space to think about what she wants but she also made it clear to me im in the same boat and asked for no contact.

Frank
Guest
My story it’s a mix of situations. I broke up with my gf three months ago (some weeks before she left the country). She felt so dumped and had an horrible time. After some weeks, I decided to try with her again but when I asked to try it again she said NO! She left the country (but is planning come back in 3 months. Have passed 3 months already without see her) and after the NC period we’re texting again (with good responses from her) but the most of the times, she just stops to text and never text… Read more »
Joey
Guest

What is the best was to get in contact with you? My story is probably to long to put on here. And was wanting some advice on my unique situation.

I enjoy reading these articles. Been helping a little. But just needing extra advice.

Jim
Guest

Bleh

J
Guest
She actually does love her new job, its a dream job for her thats why i brought it up i figured it would get her excited talking about it but obviously she’s ignored me. That very day she did put up a picture on FaceBook that said “All i want to do is drop everything and travel the world with someone who wants to do it just as much as i do”. This was clearly aimed at me and she doesn’t often post on FB one of the reasons we split was because she thought we had different life goals.… Read more »
J
Guest
Well i said i’d keep you posted; She tried to phone me on Sunday (2 Days after the text about the job) But i didnt answer it, wasn’t ready or prepared to speak over the phone at the time. Plus i didnt want to seem to available haha. She then text me a few hours after she tried to ring, basically saying she cant find some clothes and they must be at mine (Which they arn’t as we’ve actually all ready had this conversation twice since she took all her stuff after the break up) Im not sure if thats… Read more »
Jonny
Guest
So, my story starts with meeting this girl, we will call her Sarah. And our relationship was about two years with everything said and done. Sarah and I first met when we worked together at an outdoor retail store. We really hit it off right from the start and began seeing each-other everyday and dating and sleeping with each other all the time. This went on for about a year or so, until I finally got together with her. She always told me how much she loved me and how IN love she was with me every day. Everything was… Read more »
E
Guest
Hey Chris, I broke up with my ex about 4 weeks ago. About a week after, I sent a pretty positive, long apology text. She replied with a positive, long message, and we basically came to a mutual understanding that we needed some time apart. (She moved away for college, and we were in a long distance relationship for about a month, and I couldn’t handle the lack of communication. I pretty much ended up pushing her away with my neediness.) We hadn’t communicated since those few texts until about 3 days ago when she decided to message me. We… Read more »
J
Guest
So me and my ex split about 3 months ago now, we stayed in contact after for a little in which time she sent me mixed signals and i begged for another chance. We split because i couldnt give her what she wanted from me in terms of romance and she said i needed to find myself. I feel i have now and i am ready to give it another go with her, however i think she is casually seeing somebody else at the moment that im sure is a rebound. I followed your advice on NC for 30 days… Read more »