So just how do you go about interpreting all the mix signals you are getting from your ex girlfriend?
I guess one should start from the beginning of what went down and where you stand now before you can make a lot of sense of what she is saying and doing.
But I can give you an idea of some of the kinds of mixed signals your ex might be sending you and what they might mean.
And yes, I know your ex is confusing you when you get these signals. Learning to decode what they all mean and what you can do about it is what we are going to tackle in this post.
So hold on! This ride may get a little rough and wild.
7 Types of Mix Signals An Ex Will Send Out
1. I Love You – I Hate You
So during and after a breakup, it may feel like your ex is dragging you through the coals. There may be a lot of talk about what you really meant to each other and she may tell you that she loves you dearly and doesn’t want you to leave.
She may insist that her life will never been the same and if you could just please reconsider.
Then on a dime, all of that love that she pours out on you can turn into a ugly, horrible mess of emotion.
She may turn on you with all her anger and insist on how she hates you and you were the worst boyfriend and that she never wants to see or hear from you again.
Best to stay out of her way when things turn sour like this because if history is a reliable guide, things can get a lot worse before it gets better.
2. Let’s Talk – But Let Not Talk Too Much
Then sometimes you have these breakups were your ex still wants to talk to you.
She may be insistent that the two of you stay in touch and help each other through all the difficulty.
Like the good chap that you are, you figure, OK, let’s give that a try. It might help you both in the long run, you think.
But just as you get your hopes up that the fall from this breakup won’t be too bad, she starts to pull back and doesn’t want to talk anymore.
Just when you thought that things were opening up and that there might even be a chance of the two of you making up, she no longer wants to keep the communication channels wide open.
Now you are really confused about everything. Welcome to the crazy and dizzy world of breakups. Are you starting to think now you might just benefit from a sensible Ex Recovery Plan!
3. I Want You Back – Now I Am Not So Sure
Then there is the case of an ex who after the breakup reconsidered and decides that she didn’t want to breakup with you at all.
She tells you in the most convincing way that she was wrong. That the two of you are meant for each other. Let’s just put the past behind us, your ex girlfriend implores.
All looks well, until it doesn’t.
Out of nowhere it seems, you start getting the impression that your ex is not in such a hurry to get back together. She starts to pull back again, and even pull away at your touches and efforts to draw close.
Now your head is spinning. Does she want you back? Or is the breakup back on again. I know, it sucks.
4. I Am Angry With You – I Am Not Really
Then there is the case of the angry…I mean really angry ex girlfriend.
No matter how often you apologize, it falls on deaf ears. You might as well just accept that you ex girlfriend hates your guts and will be mad at you for the rest of your life.
And just when you are starting to get use to the idea that you have become the most hated person in your ex’s world, suddenly it all turns around.
She starts coming around and actually treating you nice. Even saying the most lovely and pleasant of things to you.
You start to think its getting back to the old days. Your ex girlfriend is now calling you honey and babe and all the other sweet things she use to lay down on you.
Then just as soon as it all started looking good for you again, your ex seizes the moment in a flurry of emotions and you discover that she is upset with you again.
You could have said or done nothing wrong. The two of you may have driven by a place that set off in her mind not so happy reminders of a past event. Like a shot in the night, you are jarred by your ex’s flip flop.
Whatever it is, guess what? You are toast in your ex’s eyes. Get ready as you are about to get burned again.
5. I Am So Depressed – I Am So Happy
Then we have the case of the ex girlfriend who is so sad.
I mean she is so unhappy with her predicament that she can’t get out of bed or even bring herself to care about much of anything.
So you check up on her and just like that she perks up. It seems to be looking up for her – for you – for everything.
Well guess what?
That seldom lasts very long. These choppy times when emotional reactions run in all directions will need to run its course.
There is not a lot you can do to stop it. The truth is the more your ex girlfriend tries to pretend she is happy and living a wonderful life, the worst she will feel on the inside.
And the same goes for you too.
So if you are seeing these kinds of emotional reactions, don’t let it throw you off too much.
In time, such reactions will run its course as your ex starts to confront what she is experiencing and seeks to invest in some self recovery.
6. This is All My Fault – You Are To Blame For Everything
Have you ever been through a break up where your ex girlfriend insisted that she was to blame for everything.
She may plead with you to accept all of her apologies and insist that she will change and never make the same mistakes.
And just for a minute or two, you might just actually believe it all, until she turns it around on you.
Suddenly, her whole demeanor may start to change as all those suppressed feelings come pouring out. The truth is she is still very upset with you and in her eyes, you are to blame for a lot of what went down.
Like a switch that suddenly turns on, your ex girlfriend can open up all the thoughts and feelings she has been hiding from you, many of which you had no idea were lingering just below the surface.
7. I am Ignoring You Completely – I Need To Talk With You Urgently
Then we have the girlfriend who after learning that you want to break up, now wants nothing to do with you.
She ignores you completely, even those nice texts you send out to her to check up on her welfare. It’s like you don’t even exist. Try as you might to make contact, your ex has other plans…namely to shut you out of her life for eternity.
And just when you thought you had no chance in hell to hear even a peep from your ex, your phone rings. It could be a text or even an actual call.
Or when you thought you would never see her again, she shows up and wants to talk.
It’s like you are suddenly her best friend. Suddenly, she needs to talk with you like pronto.
Why Does Your Ex Girlfriend Send You Different Signals?
Now you may think that if you are getting all these confusing, mixed messages from your ex that it can’t be good.
And certainly, we would all be better off if things went down with less chaos and confusion and mystery.
But let me assure you that what is going down in your life right now is probably very normal. If your ex is sending out these confusing mixed messages, then in many ways it’s usually a good outcome.
I can think of far worse things happening.
You see, the signals you are picking up are just the kind of things one would expect to see, feel, and hear if your ex girlfriend was unsure about what she feels.
She, like yourself, is going through a personal battle. Maybe it was best to break up. Or maybe it was a huge mistake.
You see, it’s not the emotions of the moment that will decide that. It going to get resolved over time as you both wrestle with your feelings and priorities and the potential solutions you both arrive at.
So accept the confusion as part of the process. I know it will be hard. But the kind of environment I spelled out above is not uncommon and does not necessarily spell doom.
What will help you in the long run in making more sense of it all, this mixed signals environment you are living in now, is having a sensible plan that can help you through these darker times.
That’s what I do. I help steer people to the light.
So if you haven’t done so already, give my Program a look!