It is said that there are certain unthinkable things a guy can do wrong which will doom him when it comes to love and romance.
What might be the awful deed that causes your girlfriend to become so furious with you, that her heart will grow darker by the day?
What is it that turns your girlfriend cold and heartless?
Have you ever been in a situation where you backed yourself into a corner such that you had no escape?
Telling a big lie to your girlfriend can do that to you. Your pettiness can lead to her responding in kind.
If the lie is big enough, she just might cancel you right out of her life.
That’s never a good outcome.
So let’s figure out what these big potholes are and avoid them.
And if you step in one, let’s figure out how to get you out.
What The Heck Happened Between Me and My Ex Girlfriend?
Being thrown aside or ditched by your girlfriend because of whatever you did (or she thinks you did) is going to flip you out for awhile.
One day, you are the biggest thing in her life. The next day you have become radioactive.
Suddenly she is your ex girlfriend and you are picking up the pieces wondering what on earth you said or did to warrant being kicked to the curb.
In all honesty, most guys out there no exactly what they did and they understand full well why their ex girlfriend has become so heartless, even petty.
More often than not, when you are running for cover because your girlfriend is on your heels, you usually have a pretty good idea what went down.
If you do certain things to a woman to really stink up your relationship, then be ready for some chaos because there will be no relief from the shellacking you are about to get.
In some cases, the incoming flack from your ex girlfriend will be so strong and with such ferocity, you will truly wonder if you will ever have another chance with her.
I know this sounds weird, but if she is freaking out and your head is spinning, hang in there. Your chances are not so bad. If she feels that strongly, it must mean she really care about you. It takes effort to be cold hearted. You are just going to have to learn to flip that emotion.
Your ex girlfriend’s fury can be turned into a positive form of passion.
So what might be some of the situations that unfold that will cause your ex girlfriend to become cold and distant, seemingly not caring at all about anything you say or do to defend yourself?
What is it that guys do to their girlfriends that turns them into the wildest creatures imaginable?
What on earth could you have done to take a beautiful and sensitive woman who practically worships you and turn her into a wild, mad woman who professes to hate you with a passion.
Well, my experience with such matters is that when things get crazy with your girlfriend and she gets it in her head that you have done her wrong and begins treating you with great bitterness, there are usually 2 things that could have caused her to react this way.
There are usually 2 things that turns her heart cold against you, with little interest in giving you a chance to squirm your way out of your predicament.
We are going to talk about these 2 things and along the way, offer you some ideas of dealing with some situations you might find yourself in.
The first situation that can arise which will, almost without fail, cause all types of breakup carnage is something you want to steer clear of at all costs.
This deed, (if you did it) really sounds terrible.
What might it be?
What on earth could you have done to end up your girlfriend’s doghouse.
Actually that is an understatement.
If you do this thing to your girlfriend, she will not only skin you alive, but you will frantically seek out some way to turn back the clock.
You won’t even recognize your ex girlfriend any more.
She will have been transformed into some kind of she devil.
Well, perhaps you won’t think of her exactly in those terms all of the time.
But there will be moments….
Yep, that is how bad it can get when your cross this line.
I Did Her Wrong in the Worst Way
Um mm, I wonder what it could be?
What do you suppose you could do that would cause you to later ask, “why is my ex girlfriend so cold to me”?
Why is my ex being so petty about this whole thing, you might inquire?
Why can’t I get her to just talk to me and let me explain, you might plead to no one listening.
Let me give you a hint. This is the kind of thing that when it happens, not only will she want to tear into you, but long afterwords you will still be left wondering how the relationship unraveled so quickly.
It’s not like you wanted it to.
Forgive and forget, you might think to yourself.
Well, let me give you another hint.
Women rarely forgive this type offense….at least not for a long time. And they never forget.
Indeed, if this happens to your girlfriend, she will completely shut you out, immediately.
In her mind, you will become the guy she “once loved”.
Now I am not saying that is how she will always feel. But, it is hard for me to explain how your ex will be so livid and wounded that the very image of you will make her sick.
I have spoke to a lot of women about this and you are just going to have trust me on why they can easily and so quickly slide from love to hate when this happens to them.
I don’t want to get too dramatic here.
Hate is the right word, but in most cases, if it makes you feel a bit better, it is sort of a temporary hate. Let’s just say your ex girlfriend has a temporary hatred for all things that are YOU (when this thing unfolds in her life).
Any notions of getting back into her good graces in a few days or weeks….well just throw them out of your foolish mind!
Look man, I am not dumping on you.
I know you.
You are like me. We both can say and do stupid things.
I Am Confused – Why Is My Ex Girlfriend So Mean and Rude?
When this sort of thing takes over your lives, in a way, you become a nobody to her.
She may shun you.
She may spit on you.
She may make it her duty to malign your name and tell all her friends she despises you and wishes you were never in her life.
That’s right, my man. You have royally pissed off what is now your ex girlfriend. And their ain’t no going back and undoing it.
It’s out there just hanging in the air and you better know what to do or you could blow the top off this whole relationship with her.
And by the way, If you are looking for the first signs of your ex becoming angry and bitter, you won’t need to look too hard if you are guilty of this.
You need only look in the mirror for your first real clue.
In fact, it is probably something you even thought about and discounted because deep inside you thought you could get away with it.
“She won’t find out.” She will never find out”, you may have said to yourself.
You probably figured that this misdeed will never get you in big trouble with your girlfriend because you are so good at this.
Maybe it’s not your first time.
Now remember man, I am here to help. So don’t get pissed at me for my speculations.
Trust me, you are not alone in screwing up this part of your relationship.
But unfortunately, for you, the act is so bad in the mind of your girlfriend that she no sooner will tear your head off if you bothered to contradict her or try to weasel out of your role.
Have you guessed what is is now?
Of course you know what it is.
Like I said, there are multiple things that can happen which will make your girlfriend’s blood boil and literally explored your relationship apart.
They fall into two main categories.
One of these great misdeeds is called CHEATING.
If you girlfriend hears about, or god forbid, catches you in the act of cheating…of being unfaithful, then you should never be very surprised as to why your ex girlfriend treats you coldly.
Heck man, even if your girlfriend just believes that you were even thinking or planning of screwing around with another girl, look out. It’s not going to be pretty.
The real question is how do you get yourself out of this huge mess (if you did the deed).
I am not going to judge you. That is not what this is about.
But if one is looking for the mother of all breakup outcomes that will just send her into a frenzy, it’s called cheating. Hooking up. Messing around. Whatever you want to call it.
Whether it be a physical or emotional form of cheating, just know that either way, your ex girlfriend is going to livid at you. That is the first emotion that will grip her mind. Other emotions will soon follow.
But it is the anger that she will have towards you that will give birth to her cold and distant demeanor.
She is probably going to say all kinds of terrible things. And if you have even the slightest smarts, you will just let her unload and not even try to explain or defend.
You are not going to say a word. At least not just yet. If she just found out the dirty deed you were up to, and you really, really want her back, then accept you really screwed up and take heed to what I am about to say.
I going to give you a little game plan on how to deal with an ex girlfriend that is distant or cold, or even petty after she has learned about your cheating on her.
So you already know the first part of the ex recovery plan.
Keep you mouth closed.
Don’t give in to any desperate emotions that might bubble up inside you.
Say nothing and do nothing until she has fully reacted. If you start yapping at your girlfriend about anything, no matter how loving and supporting you think it might sound, it will all sound hollow.
How long it takes for your ex to get through the freak out stage is hard to predict.
It could take a few seconds, a few minutes, or even a few days. She may run away from you, with the intention of never seeing you again.
She may go into a full on screaming tirade.
Your girlfriend could feel terribly wounded and cry and sob uncontrollably.
It is possibly your ex may be so shocked she won’t know what to say or how to react.
So there could be odd reactions from your ex. Though this is outside the topic of this post, she may even blame herself. If she goes down that road, then break your silence and immediately correct her and tell her none of it is on her. It’s all on you. She is not a fault.
So your lady could go through a variety of reactions. But once she comes out of this emotional ride, her bitterness will usually begin to build.
Just know, that whatever goes down, remain calm, don’t panic.
Don’t lie to your ex.
Don’t go into some long winded explanation.
Chances are, she won’t hear a word you are saying.
At some point, she may ask questions. Answer everything honestly. Don’t freak and tell her every single gritty detail. And don’t try to convince her that it will never happen again. It will just make her mad and she won’t believe you at this time. You will have to show her through your actions that it will never happen again.
Let her control everything. Sooner or later, she will get around to asking the obvious questions. “Don’t you still love me?”. “Is the affair over?”. “Why did you sleep with her?”
If you want to have any chance with her in the future, you better be prepared to tell her that you have always loved her and will always will love her.
You must be prepared to honestly tell her the affair is over and that you are ashamed and disappointed in your behavior. And you best have an honest explanation why you were with this other woman and had sex with her.
Now let’s keep this timeline in perspective.
You probably won’t get the opportunity to answer all these questions for awhile because she may not be emotionally prepared to hear what you have to say.
She may be afraid to know any of these things. The anger and rising resentment may build in her to such a degree that she will have little interest in knowing the details. Her mood can change instantly, exploding into a wildfire.
She may go very quiet and just start shutting you out with no contact at all. She may convey to you through a mutual friend that she no longer wants to associate with you.
So instead of an aggressive and hostile reaction, she might just box you out of her life through a more passive aggressive approach.
In either case, you will likely feel she is being cold hearted in refusing to acknowledge your very existence.
Just know that there is a process she will need to go through.
You got one you need to go through too.
And you will need to respect that for the time being. But these central relationship questions will be lurking in the back of your ex girlfriend’s mind.
Eventually, you will need to find a way to get her talking so these ugly truths can be dealt with.
That has to happen before the two of you have any chance of repairing the relationship.
This is the first step to re-establishing honesty and trust.
When she sees and understands (though this could take some time) that you are willing to answer, honestly, all of her hard questions and take it on the chin; a part of her will know you are not a complete, untrustworthy liar.
So that is the first part of the plan.
Think of it as making a little impression in the wall of distrust she has erected. Through various strategies and tactics, you will slowly break down her wall of resistance.
Remember something important.
Think of your ex girlfriend as having two minds. One is going to be be telling her that you are a good for nothing slime ball, right! The other part of her mind will still cling to these flashes of the wonderful times she had with you. That is the side you need to awaken.
As far as the rest of the plan on how to inch your way back into her life, I am going to encourage you to take a look at this tool for all the details because it is just too involved to cover it all here.
Just Your Run of the Mill Breakup
I don’t mean to diminish the cause of your breakup because the reality is that
whatever it is that triggered the breakup, the aftermath is going to be tough on you both.
So the second most common reason for why an ex girlfriend freezes you out of her life is just all the crap you both went through just before and during (possibly after) a breakup.
Breakups by definition are fractures of our soul.
And when our heart is broken, some pretty ugly stuff come happen afterwords.
Trust me, both of you will be close to the WORST versions of yourselves.
So cold, angry, bitter, mean, ugly, and nasty treatment is par for the course, I am afraid to report.
Now, if you are in a horrible situation such that your ex girlfriend has nothing but harsh and brutal things to say to you and about you, no doubt you are going to need some pointers on how to get out of this mess.
It is something I specialize in. And I have heard from lots of guys whose backs are up against the wall as their ex girlfriends have gone from a placid, unfeeling demeanor to a cold blooded attitude in a matter of days. Here are few examples:
I don’t know where to begin. My ex treats me like I am inhuman. Calling her unkind is too kind. She doesn’t think twice about texting me with some callous, mean response when all I am doing is trying to get some conversation started – Jake G.
I don’t know if she is worth it. My fiance flipped out when I met up with an old girlfriend. She won’t see me and has told me she wants to cancel everything. After all that has gone down between us, I thought I really knew her. Now she is looking for ways to stick it to me. She can be pretty ruthless when she wants and she is acting like I meant nothing to her and she is turning the page – John K.
My job with these guys was to get them settled down and show them that their girlfriend’s emotions and reactions are often here now and gone tomorrow.
You got to play the long game, I tell them.
So whatever happened in your case, just know you are not the first guy who has run up against an ex that blocks you out of everything and writes you out of her existence.
If your ex girlfriend is going to jerk you around, don’t be a fool and react poorly to her sour mood.
You have to think about the long game of getting her back. Feuding and fighting and payback…that is the game for short timers. They rarely have any success.
And here is the crazy thing about it all.
She might not even be conscious of what she is doing.
Sure, there are some women out there who are out to get you back for the breakup pain you sent her way. Some women (and men too) will find ways to rationalize their reaction or response to the breakup. They may think, “he has it coming to him”. Their hurt and anger may run so deep, she might think, “I hope he suffers much like I am suffering now”.
So yep, no doubt, there will some ex girlfriends who will act out of anger and raging jealousy or resentment, saying and doing the cruelest things they can conjure up to even the score.
When you are hurt, it is natural for you to want to strike back and hurt the other person.
But giving in to such impulses are indeed crude and cruel and only serves to making things so much worse.
Is It Possible Your Ex Isn’t Really Out To Ruin You?
It could be that your ex girlfriend is not really that uncaring.
Sometimes it is not her intention to be cold hearted or project the image of a woman without pity or sympathy.
Maybe you are projecting that unflattering image on her.
Now don’t freak out. Just hear me out. I wouldn’t take you down this route unless I had good reason.
Your mind can trick you.
Sometimes, it is your own emotions that can get wrapped up so tight that all you can see is what you think is your ex girlfriend abandoning you and seemingly shutting down any feelings she use to have for you.
In many cases, your ex girlfriend is suffering as much as you are and she too may be thinking that you are the cold hearted boyfriend, without any empathy.
She may be wondering why you have dragged her through such misery.
She may feel you are the one acting with pettiness and because (in her mind) your broke her heart, you are the one who acted with malice.
Your ex girlfriend could also be reeling from all the aftermath following the breakup. Hence, what you think is a cold or heartless reaction from her could be her going through a period of shock, unable to function in any reasonable way.
Her emotional psyche may have kicked into survival mode and therefor she is shutting down all her feelings. This is why many people who come out of a really bad breakup describe themselves as feeling numb.
It can be terribly difficult to see the real underlying truths of what exactly your ex girlfriend is thinking, particularly when both you and her are so entangled in emotional upheaval.
Just know that things are rarely what they appear to be.
Throttle back any rush to judgement during this time.
It will not get you far in the recovery process. Indeed, it can doom you.
And speaking of the recovery process, I wrote an excellent post that shows you how to get your girlfriend back if she is really upset with you.
Everybody can learn more about how to better their chances, even if their ex girlfriend has fired off some really cruel and bitter remarks. It is in part, a matter of getting more educated in what is really going on with her thinking and what things you should and should not do in order to optimize your chances.
That is why I put together, here at my website, a lot of resources you can tap into that will help you find your way.
Some Closing Thoughts…
I encourage you to explore my website as I provide a multitude of tools that can be of help. I also would like you to comment below, telling us about your situation as we might be able to offer you some quick advice about your particular situation.
I appreciate you checking us out.