How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Think About You Constantly

So you probably think about your ex-girlfriend quite a bit, right?

But what if I told you that there was a way to turn the tables and make your ex girlfriend constantly think about you?

Would you be interested in something like that?

I mean after all, why should you be the only one suffering?

Ok, I didn’t mean it quite that way!

You certainly don’t want your ex-girlfriend to suffer.

But it sure would be comforting to know that your girlfriend has not forgotten you entirely.

To know that your ex girlfriend often thought of all of the great times you had together as a couple.

It is a worthy challenge, isn’t it!?

But more than that, if you were successful in having your ex-girlfriend obsessing just a tad (or more) over the memory of you, the things you did together, or even what you are doing now could ultimately help you win her back.

But how can you accomplish this?

If you are like a lot of my clients, then you are not on the best terms with your ex girlfriend right now.

Indeed, she may be really upset with you and has told you that she wants you out of her life.

Yikes…

Ok, I know that it sounds like a helpless situation where your ex-girlfriend wants nothing to do with you (or so she says) and tells you that she has nothing but contempt for you.

(Geez, it sounds like things could not get worse. )

But, do you know what?

I look at these situations a bit differently than most of my clients.

Part of the reason for that is because I have experience in dealing with tons of situations such as the one we are describing now.

The other reason, is that I am not clouded by a lot of the emotional turmoil that a guy or girl experiences when they have a break up.

What do I mean by that?

Well, I have seen a lot of situations in which the former girlfriend was absolutely livid with her boyfriend.  Fire and brimstone was erupting every spoken word she directed at him.

fire and brimstone

Well, my way of thinking about such things is,

Hey, that is a good sign!”

The way I figure (and psychology backs me up) is that if your ex-girlfriend invested that much energy in being upset with you, then there must have been a pretty strong connection between the two of you.

I mean, you don’t really get super angry at somebody who you don’t know well or don’t care about.

Sure, we can get mad for a spell at something that happens in our life. But that type of anger is hardly comparable to the passionate feelings that transpire between a couple.

When a person in a relationship really gets fired up and upset with another, that usually means that the bond and connection between those two people is still INTACT.

I know, it is an unusual type of logic, but from a deep psychological level, love and anger are two sides of the same coin.

connection

So what I am going to teach you is how to use that “intact bond” to your advantage.

And guess what?

There are multiple ways you can influence your ex girlfriends mindset such that they think of you more often and in a positive light.

After all, that is what this article is about.

How to make your recent flame think about your constantly.

What to Expect in the Early Stages of Your Break-up

unexpected

 

It is important for you to fully understand the emotions that your ex-girlfriend may be experiencing.

Why is this important to getting your ex girlfriend to miss you and think constantly about getting back together?

Well, it is pretty simple.

Think of yourself as entering into a war zone.

To succeed, you need to understand your adversary.  And often, in those early days following the break-up, YOU are the ENEMY, and the adversary is completely unpredictable.

enemy

Let there be no mistake, you ex is likely out for blood early on.

Now, I would agree that no one person is the same, but in the early stages of a break-up, most women are not going to be amenable to talking things out.

So, whatever bright ideas you think you might have to get her to really start missing you immediately after the break up, forget them.

They will land you deeper into the muck of emotions.

Think of it this way.

Your ex girlfriend is pretty screwed up emotionally.

Logic and sanity are far from most of her thought processes.

She will be in great pain.

You will also be suffering (lets not forget that)

Indeed, you both will be experiencing a “mirror” phenomenon where both of your are experiencing similar emotions and reactions.

I cannot emphasize this enough.

The female psyche is incredibly complex.

So your first task will be to come up to speed on same basic female psychology.  I will help you with that.

Your training begins here…

naruto training

In order to break through the “Thin Red Line”, you will need a multi-faceted game plan.  I can help you with that as well.

Just like every soldier who is preparing for battle, you need to get some training.

Then you need a plan and finally you need to take with you numerous weapons.

This way, if one or two of your tactics don’t work, you have others to fall back on.

I use this analogy of going to war for good reason.  If you really want your ex-girlfriend back, you will need to fight for her.

Now, just as in any strategic military campaign, there are different phases of the operation.

The same holds true when you are fighting to get your ex back.

Essentially, what you are trying to do is INFILTRATE her thoughts and turn them in your favor.  You want to flip the emotional coin.  Remember, the relationship coin has two faces.

love and hate

In the beginning she has a lot of anger and maybe some hateful feeling toward you.

But as I explained earlier, Love and Hate are two faces of the same coin.

A healthy relationship is mostly ruled by love.

But given that hate/anger is on the flip side of the coin, the dark side is always looming.

But guess what?

Actions can be taken to flip things back to those loving feelings.

In a moment, we are going to talk about the the 10 Synergistic Golden Rules of Persuading Your Ex Girlfriend to Think About You Constantly.

One of the first things you will put into play is the “No Contact Rule”.

The early period following your breakup is not the time to rush into battle.

You will get chewed up if you do.

Anyway, you will be in no condition to run into battle because you are most likely recovering from your own emotional wounds.

So, the No Contact Period, which you should consider deploying, will help you immensely in getting ready to battle for love.

As with any campaign, there will be different phases of your operation to win her back

You will be able to use the synergistic golden rules below to help you with the various phases of your operation.

Some rules help you more in the early days.

Other rules apply more toward the end of your campaign when you are engineering the first meet-up (after the break up) or during the period when the two of you are finally talking and trying to rebuild the relationship.

Just know this and never forget it… If the two of your genuinely cared deeply about each other, there is a powerful force operating between the two of you.

There is a bond that is most difficult to break.

Perhaps right now, that force is dark.  But it does not have to remain that way.

It is very possible (arguably likely) that you can flip that force back to where you and your girlfriend are once more connected in a positive way.

The 10 Synergistic “Get Your Ex Thinking About You” Golden Rules

I want you to take a look at the graphic below,

ten principles

This graphic is the composite of the 10 synergistic “get your ex thinking about you” principles. In other words, if you do these ten things then you have a really good chance of making your girlfriend think about you.

The ten things are as follows,

  1. The No Contact Rule
  2. Become The Best Version Of Yourself
  3. Put Distance Between You And Your Ex
  4. Flanking Attraction Maneuvers
  5. The Power Of Suggestion
  6. Healthy Doses Of Kindness
  7. Project Confidence
  8. Use The Element Of Surprise
  9. Don’t Show Her All Your Cards
  10. Use Contrarian Logic

I suppose we should start from the top, huh?

GOLDEN RULE ONE: The No Contact Rule

no contact

It’s odd, isn’t it.

When you think about the principle of the No Contact Rule in which you refrain from communicating with your ex girlfriend, you would think that it would only lead to utter failure of the relationship.

After all, you reason,

“How will she ever think about me in a positive manner if I simply ignore her?”

Well, in the beginning, she will be thinking about you quite a bit, but it won’t be all of the nice things you would wish for.

In fact, if you could read her mind, the things she would be thinking about regarding you would be pretty chaotic.

Eventually, what you want is her to stop thinking about you.  

“What??”, you might ask,

“How in the heck is that going to help me get her back?”

For most women (and men), this is the best way for healing to come into play.

This can only happen during a period of no contact.

Any efforts at this time to reach and out have a conversation or drop by for an impromptu visit, will likely be met with a barrage of anger, resentment, possibly even a few verbal insults.

Depending on how things went down when the two of your broke it off, your Ex’s mindset can range from sadness and depression to joy and delight that you are gone from her life.

Don’t fret too much.

I assure you, if this situation you find yourself in is like most typical break-ups, your ex gf will be riding up and down a roller coaster ride of emotions.

Just know that implementing the No Contact Rule will allow her to re-calibrate without you being a catalyst for more adverse emotional reactions.

So if you want your girl to eventually come around to start thinking about you a lot (in a good way), steer clear of her for a spell.

Even if she reaches out to you in the early days of No Contact, chances are she really is not ready to talk to you.

If you try, you are likely stepping into a mined field.

Even if your Ex comes into the attempted conversation with good intentions, remember this is a time of chaos and uncertainty in how she will behave (and you too).

You might be thinking on Day 5 of No Contact when she calls you, “All right, she must be really missing me.  I can’t wait to talk with her.  I must really be on her mind!”.

Unfortunately, I have seen many occasions when that same scenario played out, but at the end of the conversation, the couple is at each others throats once again.

I realize every couple’s situation is different.

Just be careful.

Look, this period following the break up is very volatile, but you have a big trump card to play.

I have always said that the forces that pulled the two of you together are powerful.

It will take a monumental effort for the loving feelings she has for you to be completely stripped away.

What often happens is that with time, your ex girlfriend will return to those loving feelings.

This will not happen in the beginning, but there is a good chance it will happen before the end of your 21 or 30 day No Contact Period.

Do You Have the Relationship Shakes?

earthquake

Now, when I think about these kinds of situations where a break up occurs, I am reminded of an earthquake.

Something really bad goes down between the two of you and it feels like the very ground you are standing on is quaking and the foundation on which you built your relationship begins crumbling.

When your entire world is turned upside down from the breaking and crumbling of a relationship, everything seems lost.

But what happens in a real earthquake?

It turns out that most of the buildings erected were done with great planning and care.

The foundations of those buildings remain in place and is still solid.

After this earth shattering experience, people spend time to pick up the pieces.

Just like you will in your relationship shattered world.

In an earthquake, after some time has elapsed, people rebuild.

You will too.

That is what the No Contact Period is for.

To allow both you and your ex-girlfriend to begin to get in touch with your true feelings.

Once your former girlfriend has hit bottom and those chaotic thoughts (mostly angry and upset thoughts) have run their course, the powerful force that has bonded you together in the past will re-emerge and begin working its magic

This is when your ex and all of the good memories she has of you will come back to the forefront of her thinking.  Not always, but often.

If your relationship was strong before and the two of your were “tight”, then your chances of her thinking about you constantly will be high.

As days go by without hearing from you, your ex girlfriend will be even more motivated to think about you.

You will be missed and as the No Contact Period unfolds and after you do some of the other things I will talk about, she should miss you tremendously.

GOLDEN RULE TWO: Become the Best Version of Yourself

superman

So what the heck do you do with yourself during this No Contact Period where you are allowing your ex to get her sh#t  together?

Well it’s simple.

No matter what you might be thinking now, you need to get your sh#t together as well.

Hopefully, you ex-girlfriend is finally coming to terms with how important you are to her and thoughts of you are constantly flooding into her mind.

As I explained above, that is one of the benefits of instituting the No Contact Rule.

But there are some other things you can do that can help speed up that process.

And it all starts with becoming the best version of yourself.

What you don’t want to accomplish is to become someone different than who your really are.  Any wholesale changes in the core of who you are will be fake and superficial and your ex gf wouldn’t believe it anyway.

What you will want to do is to get a little religion in the form of the Holy Trinity!

Scared you, didn’t I?  You probably were thinking, “Crap, he wants me to go to church. How will that really help me?”

Ok, the truth is that I don’t want you to necessarily go to church more often.

Not really!

Not unless, that is something you feel you need to do for added support.

No, what I am talking about is the Holy Trinity of the recovery process.  That’s right.  You need to get your act together to rebuild your own ego and make yourself even more attractive to your ex-girlfriend.

The Holy Trinity consists of Health, Wealth, and Relationships.

hwr

 

I won’t go into great detail because I have discussed these concepts elsewhere on my website.

But what you want to do is improve in each of these areas.

Your Health is not just about your physical health, though I am a huge fan of working out a lot, particularly after a break-up.

Health is also your emotional health.  And that is the beauty of working out.  It helps you in both areas.

Improving wealth is also two fold. Whether you are vying for a new promotion or seeking to lift your business to the next level, your efforts on building up your assets will give you a new focus and sense of purpose.

When I think about wealth, I also include in this equation spiritual wealth.

This include embracing new activities that brings you closer to achieving spiritual balance in your life.  You most likely have been through an spiritual and emotional upheaval.

Something needs to happen to bring you out of this tailspin.  This could be taking up yoga, meditation, or even drawing closer to your religious beliefs.

The third element of the Holy Trinity is all about the relationships you have in life.

This is not a time where you want to withdraw from the world.  Indeed, you want to reach out and embrace the friends you know you can count on.

It can also be establishing new friendships, which means you need to try some new things….rub shoulders with some new people.

Also, don’t forget the value that your family can offer you during hard times.

Without a doubt, seeking to leverage your existing relationships and expanding your social circles is an important step of healing and gaining perspective.

And here is the beauty of the Holy Trinity.  When you do these things and demonstrate you are willing to embrace a more enriched lifestyle, this kind of news get around.

Indeed, you will learn there are ways you ensure your ex-girlfriend hears about them.

When she sees some of the changes you are undergoing, trust me, you will be on her mind a lot.

GOLDEN RULE THREE: Put Distance Between You and Your Ex GF

distance

Ironically, sometimes the best way to draw closer to your Ex is to put distance between each other.

This distance I am referring to can be both in terms of actual miles and emotions.

How does this work, you might ask?

You have heard of the old saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.  There is a lot of truth in this.

Your ex-girlfriend is accustomed to certain routines that involve YOU.

When that is take away, she will begin to miss you and think about you.  It is the natural order of how we behave.

We are creatures of habit.

Once something important is removed from our lives, we eventually act like a drug abuser who needs another fix.  There are certain chemicals exist in our brain that makes us behave in that fashion.

As I mentioned before, there is a powerful force that bonds boyfriend and girlfriend together.

The strength of this force depends on the amount of time the couple has been together and the quality of their relationship.

Take that away, and this “co-dependency”  factor comes into play.

Even when the two of you are no longer seeing each other, each party will feel incomplete.  Knowing this, you can leverage it to your advantage if you truly want your ex back in your life.

Sometimes, just going on a trip far away and making sure your ex-girlfriend knows about it, can create a powerful longing for your ex to want to be closer to you.

So where ever you are in the process of reuniting with your former girlfriend, just remember that putting distance between you and her can set into motion a huge desire on her part to want to be with you.

The thought that you are someplace, without her…. doing and enjoying things “without her”….possibly meeting someone else…..these thoughts will flood her mind which in turn will play to your advantage in creating attraction.

GOLDEN RULE FOUR: Flanking Attraction Maneuvers

sicssors

Sometimes you just have to be a little sneaky to gain ground on recouping your relationship.

If you are currently within the No Contact Period, one way to create attraction is to launch what I would describe as “Flanking Attraction Maneuvers”.

So what the heck is that?

This is when you turn to your friends and/or social media to create a certain mental picture that you wish to float into your ex-girlfriend’s mind.

Your mission is to creating an emotional reaction from your ex girlfriend such that she misses you even more.

This tactic can be highly effective if it is executed properly.  For example, if the two of you have mutual friends, you could enlist one of those friends to pass on a little information on your behalf.

It is important though that this information is NOT thought to be coming from you, but rather it should be positioned as the observation from a friend.

The intended result is to make your Ex cringe with desire to see you. Maybe you have your friend say something like this:

good woman

The trick is having a friend that can create this mental picture such that it comes off as real, objective, and unrehearsed.

It is important that any comments attributed to you about your ex is portrayed as being very positive.  Brevity is the key.

You can also accomplish the same effect using social media.

Again, the idea is to portray yourself as a humble survivor of break up, who has nothing but positive things to say about your former lover.

All of us have egos and like to be complemented.

You are essentially baiting the hook with humility and a compliment to arouse her curiosity and re-attraction for you. But let’s get one thing straight!  It has to be real humility and a real compliment.

It is also important that while you want to be portrayed with humility, you should not be perceived as weak or suffering.

You want people to describe you as doing very well.  That information in itself creates a sense that you have landed on your feet and are going forward (with or without her).

It puts a little more pressure on your ex to act.

GOLDEN RULE FIVE: The Power Of Suggestion

not droids

In war, sometimes you make flanking maneuvers.  And sometimes you attack straight on.

The power of suggestion is embedded in many of the things we are talking about.  But if you want to take the gloves off, then you can start a rumor.

This is a more aggressive approach, because you are not trying to appeal to your ex-girlfriend’s better nature such as we discussed in the Flanking Maneuvers example.

With a rumor you are seeking to directly attack your former girlfriend right where it can cause an explosion of jealousy.

Now I will tell you, this a more risky approach than flanking strategies.

So beware!

But I know for a fact that it has worked on many occasions.

Some women will see past this line of attack.  But many women are jealous to the bone.

And even the thought of you with another woman…. even if your ex is still mad about the break up…will send her into a fury.

Sometimes, that is a good thing.

It helps her get some of the pent up anger out.  It can also cause her to realize that you have “CAPITAL” and she has invested a lot into you and may not be willing to let you go.

Now, one big caveat.

Don’t employ this approach if your break-up was due to you previously being unfaithful or if she thought you were unfaithful.  It will just blow up in your face.

GOLDEN RULE SIX: Invest Healthy Doses of Kindness

kindness

Of all of the golden rules, this one is my favorite and is probably the most important.

Some years ago, a study was done that took decades to complete.

They looked at all of things that transpired between a couple and evaluated what the most critical thing two people can do that keeps their relationship healthy and long lasting.

It boils down to Kindness.

This is what I want you to do.

I want you to work out all of your angry feelings you have for your Ex (if you have any).

I want you to put away any thoughts of speaking badly about her to ANYONE.

And if you get the opportunity to interact with your ex-girlfriend, I want you to be supremely KIND to her.

I cannot emphasize enough how important this is.

Even if you don’t think it’s working…trust me, it is working at the subconscious levels.

Think of every kind word you utter to her…every kind gesture you extend to her as your way of rebuilding the “love account”.

It make take many deposits of kind acts, but there is a good chance that someday you will look back and realize how impactful those little things you said really were in the larger scheme of things.

So how do you become a kinder and gentler soul?

That’s seems to be a tough one for some people who have long been conditioned to act and behave a certain way.

But, know this.

The act of being unkind, is a cop out.

Yes, it takes effort to be kind.

You may even have to sacrifice things you want.

But if this girl is important enough to you, then the road to recovery needs to be paved with kindness.

And I am not just talking about being kind to your girlfriend.  She needs to see the kindness extended to people you encounter.  It has to be real.

Hey, do you have to become “Jesus” like, to accomplish what I am talking about?  No.

But it’s good to have lofty goals.

GOLDEN RULE SEVEN: Project Confidence

confidence

In your dealings with your ex girlfriend, you always want to project confidence.

Now there is a thin line between arrogance and confidence, so be careful about coming off as a jerk.

Women are not attracted to men who frequently act with uncertainty.

A woman want to feel safe and protected.  They want to have fun and experience some adventures.

Women feel more secure when they are around a confident man.  Somebody that can take charge, without running over her.

Now you may not be feeling so confident these days.

Particularly if you are in the beginning stages of recovering from your ex breaking it off with you.

That is understandable, but during the early stage of your recovery, you will need to regain your confidence.

This can be accomplished through some of the things I discussed earlier as it relates to the Holy Trinity.

If you want your girl to think of you often in a positive way, you CANNOT show her a guy who is weepy or depressed, or listless much of the time.

You don’t want to come off as someone who acts like their entire life is shattered.

You can control your attitude every morning you get up out of bed. It’s a choice.

And if you decide to project a positive attitude of confidence, then you will BECOME a person with a positive attitude with confidence.

GOLDEN RULE EIGHT: Use Surprise to Your Advantage

surprise

 

Every now and again, you will need to reach into your bag of tricks.

You have heard of surprise attacks, right?

Well, the can work out incredibly well or turn out horribly wrong in the world of relationships.

I think the degree of success is dependent on personality types (e.g. what kind of girl is your ex), timing and the type of surprise you decide to employ.

Here are two favorites of mine.

This can work after you are well into the No Contact Period or probably best during the phase in which you and your Ex are starting to talk and see each other again.

The first idea is to send her a single rose in a box.

Have it delivered.

The attached note should be from “Anonymous”.  An optional play off of this idea is to include a cryptic short message in the note.

Something like:

“A Rose For You”

The second idea, is similar to the first, except it is more sophisticated and novel.

There are places you can go to have a message placed into a clear empty wine bottle.

The bottle is corked and sealed.  You arrange to have the bottle delivered to your ex-girlfriend.

The trick is what you want to say in the message.  First of all, keep it very short. It can’t come off as sounding romantic or corny.

Though you want her to know it’s from you.

“Just wanted to brighten your day. Thank you for everything”

GOLDEN RULE NINE: Don’t Show Her All Your Cards

poker meme

Ok, so do you remember how I described these Golden rules?

I used the word “synergistic” which means that these ideas are co-mingled and benefit from each other.

For example, you send her roses, but you don’t reveal who you are.  That is the combining of #8 and #9 Rules.

Throughout your efforts to win her back, you are seeking to create an environment such that your ex is missing you and frequently thinking about you.

You are doing this by showing confidence.

You are doing this by exhibiting kindness.

Your are doing this by implementing the No Contact Rule, Flanking Maneuvers, and Surprise attacks.

These ideas that you are executing are filled with strategy, but the one common thread is that there is always a touch of puzzlement associated with them.

You in effect are not revealing all your cards.  You want to leave her wanting more.

The last thing you want to do is burst the sphere of mystery you are creating.

For example, she is really not certain why your are implementing No Contact and what it all means for the two of you.

She may be pleasantly surprised and elated to see the “new you”, but is still left with the notion how all that happened without her in your life.

In a way, you are deliberately keeping your ex girlfriend off balance.

She probably never expected to receive a single rose.  She wonders if it was from you, but is not sure. You have not followed up since you sent the rose,  “so who could it be, she wonders?”

It is driving her just a little nuts!

What you are doing is leaving your ex-girlfriend with a little puzzle about you.

Puzzles have to be solved, right?  That is what you want her to do.

GOLDEN RULE TEN: Use Contrarian Logic  

death on th eline

There is this scientific principle that says the shortest distance between two points is a straight line (i.e. a straight line of Yes).

Yea, I know, you probably have no clue what all that means.  Hang in there as I will get you there!

I find it an interesting tactic to play the “Yes” game.

I will teach you how.

If you are like most guys, you tend to want to control everything.

In fact, your ex probably had to tip toe all around you to get you to do all sorts of things.

Indeed, for some guys, their control issues are one of the reason why the relationship slid off the tracks.

If that is the case for you, you best work on it, because few women I know like being controlled or bossed around all of the time.

Anyway, let’s get back to the Yes game.

Sometimes the quickest way back into your girlfriend’s heart is to say Yes to everything…. at least for a spell.

But never show her all your cards.

Meaning, you will come off as a very agreeable person, willing to do essentially all of the things she suggests, but you never actually push to have things back as they were.

Keep your cards close.  If you make a move too soon, too aggressively, you might just blow right out of the game.

So your aim is to keep things fun and keep thing light.

Remember, we are trying to rebuild trust.  Trust leads to your ex gf having nice thoughts about you.

Compliment her (but not too often).  Surprise her with random acts of kindness to complete strangers.

She is use to you zigging, so what you do is zag.

She may not even know what to do with this “new you”.  You are so agreeable.  There are no fights.  You are not controlling.  You are open to all her ideas.

Heck, you might even find you like some aspects of the “new you”.

What you are trying to accomplish is to bring some trust,  joy and happiness into the relationship.

If you are just getting back together from a break-up, you are in a VERY vulnerable position.

Many break-ups are followed by a brief period of reconciliation, then another break up occurs promptly.

This off and on relationship cycle can continue indefinitely.

You don’t want that.

If you really want this girl back in your life, you may have to play the “Yes Game” so that you do not become a victim of the cycle.

And guess what often happens when you play the Yes Game?

Your girlfriend will mirror your behavior and want to play the game herself, so the control and personal power switches back to you.

Careful though, don’t take too much of her bait.

Eventually, for the relationship to work in the long run, you both will need to strike a balance.

You will both need to have equal measures of personal relationship power.

		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter

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225 Comments on "How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Think About You Constantly"

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Luke
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Could use some advice- Me & my ex were in a serious relationship for 3 years. Talks of moving in together and marriage as late as a few days before the break up. She had wanted us to move in together for a long time but she was working on her PHD and I asked her to focus on school and when she finished or got close to finishing we would move in together. She spent those 3 years neglecting her school & not really taking it seriously & working a part time job. The last year of the relationship… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
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EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Luke,

It’s hard to say if she will go or not but if she does, just be civil and polite around her

Max
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hello, my gf and i broke up 2yrs back n we wer in realtionship from 3 yrs.after breakup we used to meet it was a casual breakup.i tried to convience her to come back but she got irritated all the time so i left such converstation and started to be with her as much as i can.then 1yr before she went to another part of country for work and stopd to talk in call and then text i tried all the times to be connected but slowly slowly she stopd msging me as she got bzy.before 4 months i went… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
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EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Max,
Do you want to try the no contact rule?

Ravin
Guest

During the 3rd day while I was on my no contact period she sent me a message wishing for my future. And she asked me not to keep any hopes on her but since this article suggests to be kind to her I wished best of luck to her as well.. do now?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ravin,

it meant being kind after nc or if you can’t help but bump into her during nc.. but during nc you shouldn’t initiate nor reply nor greet her in her birthday.

jay
Guest
My Gf of 2 years just dumped me saying that she will never be able to have the life she really wants with me because, I am finishing college in degree which she thinks is wrong for me. I only picked it because i wanted to start a life with her ASAP and this degree was the quickest. I was hardly ever working and she began resenting me and losing respect for me she said because she was paying for alot of things since she is graduated and has a full time good payying state job. We fought so much… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jay,

Are you still in nc now and how active are you in improving yourself

Andre jones
Guest

Hi can you help me some tips how to improve myself during nc i really want to be a good fit for myself and to her

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if she doesn’t want you back, you don’t want her to think you’re ganging up with her friends to make her want to. So, avoid doing that. Use her friends in a way that they too see you’re moving on and improving. In short, don’t ask them to help you out and don’t talk to them about her. If they start to, just be casual. Check this one:
How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Chase After You

John Ibbestson
Guest
I have to say from experiences of myself and others ,most of these websites are loring you men whom are crushed and feeling devasted that there is a chance or hope . Both arent good signs, once a girl has screwed you over she lost respect for you , especially if you contact her afterwards, trust me if you never beat her or cheated and she done you dirty it isnt you no matter what she says, shell say anything because words mean nothing to her towards you, and if she was to get back 9 3/4.of the time out… Read more »
Andre jones
Guest

Is it okay to talk with her close friend and ask something about her or make some good impression(flanking manuever) ( during or after the no contact)?

Ankit Ranjan
Guest

I really need your help. please reply back. I don’t want to show it publicly

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Ankit,
All comments are public..if you want, you can email at [email protected]

Jennifer D
Guest
Hi me and my fiancé’ been together for 11months and engaged for 4months. On the 25th of July 2017 we where on the phone and she asked what was my best friend talking about her other friend from school. I told her that I had ask your best friend a question saying,”Do you think the two friends at school got something to do with what is going on between me and your best friend?” She replied only with,”Why are you throwing them under the bus weren’t you all friends?” I was like I am not throwing them under the bus… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

actually you should posting your activities.. because you should be improving yourself and conveying that you’re moving on and you have your own life.. Your posts are you indirect way of showing that.. so, don’t caption the post of anything that relates to feelings or break ups.

Lucas
Guest
Hi me and my ex girlfriend have been on and off for 6 years i the final month I really got tired of doing On and off and just wanted us to be together forever without all of that. We would argue a lot and sometimes because of me and my insecurity’s, I would get angry and say some things I don’t mean to her that hurts me in the long run. In the last argument before our break up I kicked her out of my house then quickly realised I went too far to do that to the woman… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi lucas,

Yeah.. Increase your chances by focusinf in improving yourself and in posting..instead of thinking about her posts..

issac
Guest

so first i was in a ldr and she broke up with me after 9 mths. I want her back. we still msg but not as before ( obviously) . I did NC for 4 days. spoke for 3 i went silent for 1 now i message again. what should i do?? Advice?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Do nc at least 30 days.
Be active in improving yourself and in posting

Russel
Guest

Do these rules apply if she has a new boyfriend ? She started dating this new guy less than 2 months after we broke up. I did no contact when I found out about it. Started talking to her a bit after. She was receptive and super engaged at first. Then she grew a bit cold. So I haven’t contacted her in a month. We are now almost 5 months after the breakup.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Yup you can try it

Ashwin
Guest
So my ex broke up with me a few months ago but we kept going back and forth. So a few days ago we got into another fight in which no interaction was made. So I am currently in the NC, day 4 to be exact of 21. The reason I decided to go with 21 is because her ex boyfriend is in the picture, still, which makes this very difficult. They are on instagram and interacting with one another whilst I am not on social media with her on any platform. And I know they are interacting because I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you have to make a real account and make the posts public

Jack
Guest

I have a question, shall i remove all my pictures with her and songs devoted to her or at least make it that only 1 can see it and or make it not seen for relationship, she broke me with 1 month ago i made few mistakes since then, now i am trying NC rule.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

No need to do that. But it’s ok if you already did

Casmir
Guest
Okay 6months ago my ex broke up with me. We were in no contact for two months and suddenly she contacted me to check up on me, our conversation went well. we talk once in a while until she told me she wanted to meet up with me. Okay she came along with a friend I know and our meeting was okay. we talked normally, nothing personal, she was happy and comfortable around me. So when she left I texted her but I got no reply. whenever we chat, her replies are blunt and all that. The problem right now… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

What were the type of texts ever you sending?

Kyle
Guest
Hey there – I find myself in an interesting situation. I started dating a girl in mid-January for about seven weeks and it was going extremely well. During the course of dating I did everything by the book,: wasn’t needy, let her initiate more of the communication but was responsive and generally had a great time and were extremely attracted to each other. Some of the things she said during the relationship when talking about past flings or more serious was “how can any girl leave this?”, said I was the most attractive man she has ever dated, noticed she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kyle

it was good that you did nc..but it wasn’t whwen you said you’re just there if she’s ready before doing it.. it sounded like you’re just waiting and always available…

but right now, I think you should try if you could rebuild rapport while continuing to improve yourself

Kyle
Guest

Thanks for the advice. I figured after 4 days of not talking I was taking the high road and showing that I wasn’t into games. Basically this is what you took a step back from. Probably could have worded it better, but I think it was certainly better than being needy.

pfs
Guest
Hi. I have a problem with my GF who i was with for 4 months, we were very happy and very intimate with each other. She had not been with anybody for 15 months before i met her. Basically we split up around 1 month ago because i lied to her about a few things. Thing is when we first met i had a cut on my nose which i got attacked by 3 men over a taxi cab, i told my GF the next day when i met her that i did it at the boxing gym. She was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Pfs,

why not try the no contact rule?

pfs
Guest
I tried the no contact rule for 4 weeks as i quoted here above ” I have been avoiding her at the gym and ive not seen her for 4 weeks now, however when i was in my car on saturday last week she noticed me and pulled up beside me and waved at me. She did not have to do this because i was looking the other way in my car, she could have just drove on and i would never have seen her, yet she pulled up as she was driving out of the gym and waved and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

oh sorry.. I misunderstood.. I thought it just happened to be that 4 weeks passed and then you bumped into her.. If that was your intended no contact, and you were active in improving yourself and in posting in social media, inititae contact to slowly build rapport..

Jennifer
Guest
Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have had some emotional issues to deal with, she kept up saying I need counselling. I found out my godson has brain cancer which I took really hard. I snapped a bit but not harshly. She goes to therapy every week and because of what happened she says I need therapy. I told her not everyone who is having an emotionally hard time needs therapy. Well I had a disagreement with her about an idea she had. She did not like my opinion, and the next morning broke up over text… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jennifer,

I think there’s still a chance.. Maybe she’s still emotional..are you going to do the no contact rule?

George
Guest
Hi, With my girlfriend and I broke up three weeks ago. To 01.28.2017 we were in contact all the time, but now I would like to start NC (the same 30 day NC is for how to get over your LOVE so am scared that she will get over me and i will lose her forever). I wonder just how I will be able to get her back (the reason for broke up was my jealousy). I’m scared also because I think she is going for a date with a man which was the reason for our brakeupe. We were… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi George,

she broke up with you, that means she started moving on before that and then decided to finalize it when she did.. I think it would be better to think that she has moved on and now the goal is to reattract her..

George
Guest

She only say that she need one who she can talk so i rly want her back and don’t know where to start am reading the book from Chris and i hope that is gona help me get her back.
How can i reattact her?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Try to do the no contact rule and focus in improving yourself..

Harry
Guest

Hi
Recently me and my girl friend broke up it was kinda mutual she asked for a break and I didn’t see it getting any better so I told her I would let her go. I regret this we are amazing together. She can’t get over my past I had a relationship with a first cousin and she said since I’ve told her that the feelings have faded and there is nothing left there for me now. Do you think I can get her back?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Harry,

you have to stop talking with your first cousin.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

Zack
Guest
So, I’ve been dating this girl for 2 years and it’s been 4 months since our breakup. I had no idea this advice even existed when she broke up with me. So the story is, I trusted her to go see a guy friend in a different state and she started developing feelings for him. She broke up with me when she came back. I had no idea she had feelings for the guy and even started a budding relationship with him so I tried everything I could to get her back with me. But I did it all wrong.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Zack,

try the no contact rule first
If it doesn’t work, then you can move on..

Chris
Guest
Hi I’ve read the instructions above + a few more, but I believe my sittuation is a little diffrent so I’d like to get some of the confusion out of the way and ask a couple of questions. My girlfriend broke up with me a couple of days ago. It was after being together a month and twelve days . She said it’s because she doesn’t feel the same thing for me as I do for her, but that she likes me more than other guys (she seemed to feel a little sorry for me). I see her point, I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Chris,
both of you are 16? I think you still have a chance.. if youre5 going to do no contact, do just 21 days

khurram
Guest
we broke up after 3 years of relationships as she refused me to marry with me as she thinks i am materialistic and i don’t love her but i love and i told her many times but still she dos not believe.now she refused me to marry and i blocked her to see my activities and photos on facebook but still friends on facebook. after one day she message me at 3 am and in angry way asked me why u blocked me if you love me then why you do this.i replied her in positive way and again ignored… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Khurram,

you broke up 3 yeara ago but you kept talking to each other as friends?

Kaden
Guest
My ex broke up with me in April of 2016 after 2.5 years together. We were long distance, (me in LA she in Canada), but we saw each other all the time (at least once or twice a month), and I even spent 6 months in Canada with her. We were in the process of working on the Visa for her to come to the States, but I lost my job (I worked at movie studio as a film coordinator). She stood by my side for a few months after that job loss, but the relationship devolved when she lost… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Kaden,
it would be better to finish 30 days but if you already initiated, just take it slow with her

Vic
Guest

My gf of a year and a half broke up with me for another guy. After snooping I’ve come to a conclusion they are not together and I’ve seen her like quotes about exs and how you need to move on for the better. I’ve been doing NC for 15 days since the day after we broke up. I have also started send improvement and dropping hints that I’m doing fine. I really think she had a bad case of GIGS but dont know if she’ll come back, how should I make her think about coming back?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Vic,

don’t send your improvements directly to her.. that’s like chasing.. just improve yourself and then make your posts your indirect way of showing it.. she has to think you’re moving on and improving

Zack
Guest
Hi Guys, My girlfriend has broke up with me few days ago. The reason she decided to broke up was due to she feel stress regarding to her career, eventually she feel stress on her current situation due to she is doing part time studying too and now she want to pay full efforts on it. However, this is not the main reason to cause us separated. She told me that she realize that she haven’t recover from her previous relationship because it’s hurt her too much. She suddenly feel that not so ready to step into a relationship and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Zack,

If you’re going on a no contact rule, then you have to cancel the trip or do the no contact period after the trip

Zack
Guest

I think I will do no contact rule after the trip. But now what should I react during the trip? Should I treat her as good as previously when we are still in relationship or treat her as normal friend? Wish to have further suggestion from you guys. Many thanks.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Nope, just be casual with her. Make it like a preparation for the no contact rule. Be polite but don’t initiate. If she does, give short direct polite replies.

yogesh
Guest
HI, I been dating a girl for 4 months as the things went good at the beginning.but later on i went too needy and passive and jealous as she 21 and m 26 she likes to hangout more with her friends.so we had a few arguments and fights and we decided to breakup and she accpeted the break up.but later on i begged her for last chance and she gave me a chance but we ended up again with the fights as she says m playing a mind game with her and she dose not trust me any more and… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Yogesh,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Tharshan Umakanthan
Guest
Hi, Me and my girlfriend broke up with me on Sunday, I flew up on the Monday to Germany (I live in London) to try and convince her to give it another chance, she was stubborn and rock solid with her choice to break up. So we tried NC, I failed it a few times and contacted her till today (Thursday), now I’m on full NC and just gonna try disappear from her life to see if she misses me. she told me the reason we broke up was because, she wasn’t sure about her feelings, didn’t think she was… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tharshan,

with all your effort, I think she’ll realize that later on and miss you..but right now you have to stop making efforts and be distant..she has to realize she could lose you if she doesn’t value you

Nicholas Fleenor
Guest
So me and my girlfriend broke up just over a month ago and she was in a new relationship with-in a few days after she had told me that it was weird they didn’t know each other and then all of a sudden they clicked he moved to our town with in the next week and she moved in with him. I have not done the no contact yet because she had two kids coming into the relationship and i had accepted those babies as my own so I’m actually going to see the kids tonight with her permission of… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Nicholas,

jumping right in is chasing, so don’t do that. There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, but it’s still better than doing nothing and waiting.. Because you have to be active in improving yourself during and after the no contact rule.. If you still want to see the kids during it, that’s ok.. Just as long as you only talk about the kids..

Malier
Guest
Hi there guys, I and my ex broke up a month ago. We are from different countries and before we breakup I was in my country for a few months withouth seeing her, only talked with her by phone. I came to visit her in her country after that for a week, which by the way we lived for a few years there together. We breakup after that week. It was an emotional breakup where we memorised and I couldn’t hide some cry together with her… I usually didn’t cry. I came back to my country, making a trip of… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Malier,
if you’re in no contact, yes, dont answer her but why did you break up?

KARAN2111
Guest
Me and my recently become ex girlfriend got separated almost 2 months back ….I am in love with her for last 10 years and for last 4 years she was in serious relationship with me ….I proposed her in 2006 when she was 16 years old and I was 25 years old …but after I found she was chatting whole night with someone , one of her classmates …I shouted on her in a hotel and slapped her …she separated and focussed on study ….later in 2008 again we reunited with the help of her elder sister …this time she… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Karan,

we dont guarantee that you will get your ex back but you need to work on yourself first.. you need to see a therapist because it’s not healthy to be obsessed with someone

Sebas
Guest
Hi! I’ll make an abstract of my story. I started dating a girl some months ago. and a week ago she broke with me. Basically because I was very controlling during almost the whole time, for example not giving her enough space to be with her friends, and as you mentioned in this article, she didn’t like that and decided to stop the dating, and be just friends (I never actually became her boyfriend). I just got to notice how uncomfortable it was for her after the breakup. Yes, I’m a stupid. She said she had waited for me so… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor
Hi Sebas, There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work and in your case, it’s not going to be a full contact. It means you’re going to stop initiating talks and stop being around her as much as you can.. If she does initiate talking to you, be civil, be polite, answer her but don’t be engaging.. Answer her directly in a nice way.. Basically, it’s like you just stopped making her special and that you’re starting to have your own thing. You’re interacting more with your other friends, busy with an activity, join a club, join sport,… Read more »
Jake
Guest

Hey, I have a quick question. I successfully completed no contact, and we have seen each other twice. They both went amazing, I could tell she still really loved me. It was like flirting before we first got together. But few days later I made her upset through texting trying to end the conversation, and she hasn’t replied since. What should I do to initiate communication again?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jake,

just rest for a few days, 5 days to a week, to let her cool down and then initiate again

Rajat Agarwal
Guest
Hi, Can I just vent out my feelings after my breakup recently? It’s okay if nobody replies or anything but I just want some place where I can vent out my feelings. I met this girl from my workplace an year ago and we liked each other and we started hanging out. Only she was in a relationship of 6 years old. But we hanged out anyway and I finally told her that I love her like shit and does she love her boyfriend? She said she doesn’t know and that he’s cheated on her thrice in the 6 years.… Read more »
Roy
Guest

Hey i need your advice,

I heard from one of her friend that she is enjoying time being a single, and she said i better move on coz she wants to be single and i better find someone new.

She said she already close with someone else, but she thinks she is not ready yet for a new relationship.

She unblocked me already and i am now still in my 2 weeks of no contact period.

Any advice how do i convince her that i have changed and i got better version of me?

Appreciate it.

Gus
Guest
Hi Chris, I’ve read through most of your suggestions and have been reading your book and it has been really helpful in this whole process. Short story of what happened to me: Was in a relationship for about 3 and a half to four years, and last one got really bad because of distance (we started working in different states) and her increasingly thinking of the negative parts of the relationship in that last year (jealousy, trust issues, and past arguments and fights that she couldn’t let go of even if they were from years past and were already addressed… Read more »
Shubham Sharma
Guest
I was continuously active on this site but got off from here .My gf who cheated me 3 months back now she is saying sorry and all guilt stuff and she wants me to forgive her ?. She messaged me 3 days back through her friend phone coz i have blocked her from all possibleplatforms .Now i have unblocked her to see that will she say something more again. And i want to ask to you that does she thinks about me. I want to get her back with the love we used to have in 4 nd half years.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi Shubham,

are you back together?

Shubham Sharma
Guest

No mam we are not she just said me sorry for she cheated on me but she didnt said to come back she is with other guyz and happy in her new college

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

oh ok.. why not slowly build rapport with her?

Sean
Guest
So I’ve been going out with this girl for 3 months and been seeing her for six, Even in that short period of time I loved her and she told me she loved me the problem I face is she has said her fellings have changed and sees me as a friend sub consiously and I have done nothing wrong and its all her and shes been thinking about it the past weeks, I did not reply to that and shortly later that night she texted me saying she is sorry, I didnt reply to that either. Two days onwards… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hi Sean,

hmm.. I think it would be repetitive if you just meet.. she would still break up with you.. but since you told her to message for coffee anytime, you have to undo it.. you can tell.her that you understand her decision now and you’re taking time off to heal and once you are, you’ll reach out to continue the friendship… but don’t tell you’re doing nc and don’t tell for how long

Sean
Guest

But I have already started nc for almost a week , dont really wanna restart, I think it would seem weird to tell her that after thsis time aswell. How long should I do Nc for? And how should i approach it , what else other than meeting? thank you

Sean
Guest

I’ve already told her in away I understand her decision see

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

ah I see.. coz I thought she can message you during nc and then you’ll break it to meet her everytime she asks..

Sean
Guest

No I think I’ll ignore her if that happens just say I’ve been busy once nc is finished if she does ask. How shall I approach when going to contact her?

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

use a topic she always loves talking about and check this post :How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

T
Guest
Hey Chris, what do you think about this? She broke up with me, she is a coworker, I am one week into No contact. She texted me 2 days after she broke up with me to “check up on me” then the next day at work we made a brief eye contact, then she asked a friend of mine a bunch of questions like have I even said anything about it all. Yesterday at work, she made sure she was in my path then smiled and said “hi” I returned a smile and said hi, then continued past her. Glad… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi T,

yes it does.. she’s missing you

Tee
Guest
At 21 days into NO CONTACT I decided to text her. I just asked a simple question about what flavor popcorn we had once and she replied immediately! After her responses I texted it’d be good to keep in touch. She said she agreed. Then I waited another day to text her again. Ended it by saying “Hope all is well.” She replied immediately again, then I said “We should chat sometime.” She said “Yeah of course” then 🙂 ! I then said call me if you get a moment this weekend. She said I will try :-). I’m hoping… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Tee,

that’s good.. well, you only suggested it.. so, that’s ok.. engage to talking when she initiates! Take that opportunity to build rapport.

Tee
Guest
Thank you for the insight. I texted her late last night (when I thought she was asleep) that I “Been thinking about you, miss being around you”. She texted me today saying “Good morning,I was passed out when this message came in” Then I replied, “What message? Good morning” Then she sent me a screen shot of my message to her. I proceeded to ask about her weekend and have small talk. Then she said she’d call me tonight. Do you think she wanted to talk about my “miss you” text? I pretty much ignored her bringing it up. Was… Read more »
Tee
Guest
The conversation my ex and I had on the phone that night was small talk, some laughs and some catching up. I skipped a day of contact and then texted her about meeting up for coffee (specific day and time). She first said “Let me think about it” I sent a follow up text an hour later saying “Its just coffee, it’ll be a short and sweet quick meet up” then she replied “LOL Ok” So I’m meeting her tomorrow. I’m going to keep it fun and friendly, nothing about the past. My worry is what if she brings up… Read more »
Tee
Guest
So I met with her yesterday for coffee. We simply had small talk and caught up a bit, no mention of the past relationship. She was all smiles and there was lots of eye contact. The thing that totally thru me was that she wore this t-shirt, which was one of the things I got her for her birthday (which was a week before our break up). I wasn’t going to mention it, but she made sure to draw attention to it. I don’t know what to think about it. I don’t want to assume anything, but I don’t think… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

HI Tee,

how are things now?

Julio C
Guest
Hey I wanted to know if it was still possible to get my ex gf over 4 years back.. She broke up with me 6 weeks ago.. She said that I wasn’t prioritizing her and was taking her for granted. She asked me for space but it took me like almost a month to give it to her.. I did not contact her for 15 days and I sent her a message saying that I hoped she was doing well and hoped she found what she was looking for then she responded. “I’ve been meaning to tell you not to… Read more »
Julio C
Guest

*of over 4 years. Another thing is that she said she doesn’t hate me, she hasn’t blocked my number or off of social media

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Julio C,

that’s good that she doesn’t hate.. I think you can try to do no contact now and I think you should do 45 days.. concentrate on building a new routine and improving yourself and meeting new people, making new friends and going out with them.. focus on yourself only this time and make it seem like you’re moving on so that when you reach out again she won’t be defensive or protective because she won’t think you’re trying to get her back.

Julio C
Guest

Ok thank you! Do you think there is still a good chance? Seems like she is really concentrating on school so we won’t be getting back together anytime soon

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you said it yourself..as of right now,.it’s not the right time but someday soon it can be

Julio C
Guest

Ok so I found out yesterday that she was seen holding hands with a guy. It’s her best friends brother… Which she kind of grew up with… I’m guessing she’s going on the rebound? We haven’t been broken up two months yet… I know all her friends and that guy influenced her not to get back with me.. She can’t get over a 4 year relationship like that… So what should I do??

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

you can’t be too forward once you get to talking again and keep maintaining yourself even after nc.. start to date others too

JC
Guest
Nice guide there. Please help me, Me and my girlfriend broke up last May 20 2016, its almost 3 months now. We just had a nice meet up, did our regular thing, talked and had some coffee, but then after the fun conversation, the topic became unpleasant, she told me she will break up with me, NOT “WILL BREAK UP” – its a very one sided decision, of course I don’t wanna break up with her. SHE DID NOT GAVE ME A WARNING. its because she told me she was tired of fighting with me, she feels hurt everytime we… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi jc,

if she’s seeing you everyday and nothing changed with you, then she will probably not miss you much.. start to do new things now,meet new people, improve yourslef, go out and excel at school,make new friends and try to be out of her way as much as possible…don’t appear too much in places that she will probably see you

Colton
Guest
Hey Chris, Thanks for this insightful post. My girlfriend and I just broke up for the second time a week ago tomorrow. It was over a total misunderstanding on my part. I came clean as soon as I recognized it and apologized for it, but for some reason it just wasn’t enough for her. She told me she wanted a total split, because the first time this happened we sort of broke up in fragments, meaning we attmpted to stay friends, but were still hooking up, etc. It got messy. But I still don’t think we had a graceful ending.… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Colton,

talk to her first and then start nc after that if it doesn’t go well

Kyle
Guest
My girlfriend and I were together for a little under two years. She broke up with me because tensions between her family and I had reached a fever pitch. I had been living with them and her parents asked me to move out. I was in the process of doing so when she broke things off completely (it felt like she was looking for this as an excuse). She has agreed that if we both find ourselves in a healthy place we can talk about giving the relationship another shot. I have done my best with the no contact rule,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi kyle,

the improvements should really be continued after nc because it’s a lifestyle… otherwise she would just think you didn’t really change and just did that to get her back.. especially that you asked her too soon.. try to date others too now

geo
Guest
hi Chris right now me and my girlfried is still together but its uneasy and things have been rough. She’s stressed out about school and im stressed out because losing a family member. randomly she pulls the “I’m not sure about us card” the texts says her- “Im not even sure if its fair right now for both of us to be in a relationship I kind of just want to focus all my time on getting an internship and figuring out whats next i think this class is going to be awesome for u I think that maybe I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Geo,

are you in nc now? You should be active in improving yourself instead of worrying about her during it

Carlos
Guest
Good morning. My ex girlfriend broke with me at the beginning of February this year. I moved out of the country for academic reasons, will be back on August and have used this time to implement the No Contact rule. She has recently started contacting me but it’s always for favors, via whatsapp text and most recently one call. I don’t really when I should start texting her and what to talk about because at the moment I don’t feel we have anything to talk about. One other thing, her birthday is on July, and was planning to send her… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Carlos,

have you started to have a new routine, change up your look? Does it look like you’ve moved on with how you are today?

Daniel
Guest
Hey, so I’m nearing the end of my 11th year in high school. I was with my girlfriend for close to a year and a half and it was a wonderful time. We were always enjoying ourselves and everybody said we were a great couple. She really brought my personality out and made me a much better person throughout the relationship. I was always the shy and quiet kid who never really talked, and had little to no confidence. She really cared for who I was and she really did love me, she showed it all the time and I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Daniel,

you have a good plan, I just think you should do longer than two weeks, and don’t initiated to greet her.. try to keep distant as much as possible, but if she initiates just reply politely direct. Don’t be too engaging for a conversation and keep busy in improving yourself..

Naman Jawaid
Guest
Hello, So I started dating this girl last year in Feb and she was unreal, genuinely perfect. I was 23 years old then and she was my first girlfriend or even the first dater ever as I never wanted a relationship or anything prior to this, Everything was amazing. From about October 2015 she wasn’t that happy in our relationship but she NEVER voiced her concerns to me ever. In Jan 2016 she told me she is taking anxiety and anti depression tablets. Prior to this I used to get annoyed at her as she use to never make effort… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Naman,

proceed to no contact and improve yourself during no contact.. do new activities and meet new people.. be active in posting in social media so she will see.. try 30 days and then after that compile interesting topics for her that you could use a first contact text.

Phenomenal 13
Guest
It’s been about 5 weeks since she dumed me and I moved out. I begged for a couple weeks after. Tried no contact it last for about 12 days she contacted me. We exchanged a few txt ans talked on the phone but everytime she seems to just be angry with me. Last txt she told me to no longer call or txt her son. We were together for about two years. She ended the relationship because of some things I said and did. I jokingly said I wouldn’t marry her and she took it to heart I also started… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi,

Are you being active during no contact?

Jared
Guest
Hey I bought your e-book, I read it all, I’ve been doing my best to implement your tactics. She told me she was done for good in a non violent or bashful way and said I can do whatever I want and I agreed. Around day 20 of nc (was planning on 30) I posted a picture of me and a girl on the back of my street bike on Facebook, within 10 minutes she sends me a mean bashful text saying that she’s completely cutting ties with me and I’m a piece of sh#t for having a random girl… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hi Jared,

sorry for the late reply.. How is everything now?

Jared
Guest
She messaged me back the other day asking how I am doing, and I replied back and said, “I’m doing really good, how about you” she said “not bad (smiley face) I just wanted to check in on you” after not speaking for three weeks. She didn’t seem too emotionally invested, the conversation died out a little, but I left while I was on top and if ended pretty good, I’m really confused on how to connect with her again to try and get her to open up, I don’t want to be pushy and push her away but I… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

YOu have to rebuild rapport first before she opens to you…that’s normal.. It’s good that she checked up on you. It’s like starting over and making her become a close friend again and attracting her back.

IAMBACK
Guest
Hello Recovery Team, I while ago i explained that my girlfriend who is 12 years younger than i decided to broke over a 1,5 Year LDR. She is a bit inmanture and learned next to me what is love and how to become a better person. As an entrepreneur i went trough a very hard fase where i was not in a good mood and that’s my fault… I many times let her know that she would be better without me as she is having some stress not good for her, so after telling her that foor the third time,… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

if you can talk it out that’s better…if not, prove to her you’ve changed whenever you see her and text her

IAMBACK
Guest
Hi EGR TEAM, I sent there a message saying that i would like to meet her and explain, i know that all the signal she sent me where in a way to being open, i recently saw on her instagram that she made after breaking ( before she was addicted to it and i advised her to stop living into that fake world ) that she is like talking about a new guy and she threw some bad messages about me without saying who i am like some people are egoistic etc…i know that she must want to fill a… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

sorry.. I didn’t catch it.. yiu asked her to meet you, did she meet you? Was the instagram post after you asked her?

IAMBACK
Guest
Hi Amor, I Asked her to meet and since then no reply, its about 5 days + – . The messages on instagram were about 2 weeks ago, since then i suppose things have gone for better but now no reply… She is going out and taking care of her life which is great for her but now no communication at all. I wrote you and talked about my story a time ago, she cut in cold way by email avoiding any exchange, but because she is young and do not want trouble…and if i remember well she did that… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Ok Ghazi, so basically the last time you told her you think her signals means she’s being open but now she’s not talking to you.. and you haven’t done nc right? If not, now’s the right time to do it.. and also after nc, it will be like a restart… Rebuild the connection.. Don’t ask her to get back with you right ahead..

IAMBACK
Guest
HI Amor, Yesterday we spoke after a few days, she said she was quite open and its was nice to hear her it was also fun. She feels like a bit afraid right now and i understand her as she doesn’t want to feel hurt, but we had a coll conversation for an hour and said she would be open to come to meet me in the next 3 weeks…. We had an open and as always friendly conversation and she also said some magical words we are used to say to each other… I must fix everything and show… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

hmm if there is a place there that she wanted to go but haven’t go there.. if not, go somewhere you know she would love and surprise her

IAMBACK
Guest

So we decided we shall meet in the next weeks,
In the meantime she very rarely sends me a sweet night, good morning etc…
I do not know if its good i keep on communicating with her as i do not see any sense on talking without going deeper in our feelings etc…
What should you suggest, to have more patience, or avoid to get back to her till she have more interest ?
Thank you

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I suggest to build more attraction through your texts.. It’s ok that she’s not initiating.. what’s more important is how you end it.. and also the goal of texting is to lead to calls, to build more attraction.. initiate interesting texts for her.. and then end in high point politely.

IAMBACK
Guest
Hi EGR TEAM, So its almost 2 months since we broke. And she sent me from time to time good mornings, good nights etc… We spoke once and she said that it was a good thing that we were speaking and that she would be open to try to fix things. She also told me that she needs time and that she said she hopes i am not mad at her because she need to go through the process slowly and she said that even if she looks cold and unfriendly she has feelings for me and she is sorry… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

I think you’re doing the right thing of not always texting, but when you text make it interesting for her, so when you stop she’ll miss it and also continue on being productive with yourself.. because you’re right.. if you’re just there and being the same person as before, you might get friendzoned

Greg
Guest
My story is kind of complicated so here it goes: We broke up a year ago but kept being “friends” on and off after and hooked up once in a while till that kind of blew up and with her blocking me. Then we didn’t talk or did I attempt to reach out for 3 months. She then hit me up out of the blue and all of sudden we ended up seeing each other again. She then wanted to start dating again which we did for a month, but I was very skeptical of why she would come out… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Have you tried calling now? Maybe go that steo first before asking for a meet up. And it’s valentines, it’s ok if you want to give her flowers anonymously

Greg
Guest
Thanks for the response! I haven’t tried calling yet. I feel like it’s only about the last week or so that I’ve actually been getting some positive responses, instead of just neutral. This week just have kind of texted one day, yesterday, and she was answering positively. Although I can still feel like some hesitancy from her where she is still holding back a little, probably expecting me to act the same as before which i understand. Also I’m not sure if she’s potentially dating somebody casually, which of course could be since it’s been 2 months. I’m also casually… Read more »
EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

nope just cut back a little.. go back to texting.. you don’t have to start nc over again

Greg
Guest

Also forgot to ask, what should I say if she asks me if it was me or texts me asking if I sent that? I don’t wanna make a big deal about it and I don’t want to make it seem all intense or more than it is, come on too strong.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Hmm, answer casually. Tell her it’s a token of appreciation..

Greg
Guest
Thanks for your replies so far, been great. Your books have also been very good. So little update: Sent the flowers which she received and asked if i sent them, which i answered i did and kept it casual. she then said this: “Lol i had a feeling. That was very thoughtful but i don’t think it’s really appropriate to send a gift like that to a friend. Thank you so much for thinking of me but please understand where i am coming from”. So yea not the best answer. i just answered “haha just a token of appreciation, but… Read more »
Greg
Guest

Also was thinking probably good to create some jealousy at some point like u guys suggest. think she probably thinks she has me when she wants. i’m kind of dating a bit but just thinking of a tasteful way to create some jealousy. I don’t want to make it too high schoolish you know? Thanks again

Greg
Guest

Any thoughts? I’ve just started a mini NC again. Kind of confused on what to do.

EGR Team Member: Amor
Guest
EGR Team Member: Amor

Actually all of your previous plans was good.. relax..