By Chris Seiter

Published on December 26th, 2023

Have you ever wondered whether your ex-girlfriend thinks about you sexually. It actually happens more often than you realize.

It’s natural to wonder about this aspect of your past relationship.

Research suggests that about 60-70% of people think about their ex-partners sexually after the breakup in some form.It’s common for ex-partners to think about each other sexually post-breakup, often reflecting on intimate moments shared. This can be due to physical memories, emotional connections, or a combination of both. However, such thoughts vary greatly among individuals and don’t necessarily indicate a desire to reconcile.

But why do exes reflect on their sexual history with a past lover?  And what does this mean for the potential of getting back together, and how should you process these thoughts?

Let’s dive into the nitty gritty!

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Does My Ex Think About Me Sexually? How Often and Other Sexual Reflections

The frequency of sexual fantasies or thoughts about an ex-partner can vary significantly between individuals, influenced by personal circumstances, the nature of the past relationship, and individual psychological traits.

However, general trends suggest some differences in how men and women experience these thoughts post-breakup.

For men, studies indicate that they are more likely to have sexual fantasies about their ex-girlfriends. This tendency can be attributed to a combination of factors.

Men often process emotional experiences differently and may revert to physical or sexual memories as a way of coping with the loss or change. The visual and physical aspects of past relationships can play a significant role in their post-breakup reflections, leading to more frequent sexual thoughts or fantasies about their exes.

Women, while they also experience sexual thoughts about their ex-boyfriends, might do so with different emotional underpinnings. These thoughts are often interwoven with emotional aspects of the past relationship.

For women, the sexual fantasies or thoughts might be more closely linked to the intimacy, emotional closeness, or security they felt in the relationship, rather than purely physical attraction.

Overall, while both men and women will often have sexual fantasies or thoughts about their exes, the frequency and nature of these thoughts can be influenced by gender-related emotional processing styles. It’s important to note that these are general trends and individual experiences can vary widely based on personal factors.

Frequency and Nature of Sexual Thoughts Post-Breakup

  1. Commonality of Sexual Reflections:
    • It’s quite common for ex-partners to think about each other sexually. These thoughts can be fleeting or more persistent, influenced by the nature of the relationship and how it ended.
  2. Variety of Sexual Thoughts:
    • These reflections can take various forms. Some might have dreams or fantasies about their ex, while others might reminisce about past sexual encounters. The intensity and frequency can vary greatly.
  3. Doesn’t Always Imply Reconciliation:
    • Importantly, just because an ex thinks about you sexually doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together. These thoughts can be purely physical without emotional intent.
  4. Normalcy in Sexual Nostalgia:

Why Exes Think About Each Other Sexually?

  1. Familiarity and Comfort:
    • Sexual thoughts often stem from familiarity and comfort. You’ve shared intimate moments, and it’s natural for the brain to revisit these experiences, especially if they were enjoyable or fulfilling.
  2. Physical Connection:
    • If the physical aspect of your relationship was strong, these memories might hold a significant place in her mind, leading to sexual thoughts.
  3. Emotional Bonding:
    • Sexual relationships often involve a deep emotional connection. Post-breakup, as she processes her feelings, sexual thoughts can be intertwined with emotional reflections.
  4. Unresolved Sexual Tension:
    • If the relationship ended abruptly, there might be unresolved sexual tension or curiosity, which can manifest in her thoughts.
  5. Comparing with Current Experiences:
    • If she’s dating again, she might compare her current sexual experiences with those she had with you, leading to reflections and thoughts.
  6. The Role of Nostalgia:
    • Nostalgia plays a big role in post-breakup thoughts. The brain tends to glorify the past, which can include sexual experiences.

Different Ways Exes Think About Each Other Sexually

  1. Dreams:
    • Dreams can bring up past sexual experiences or create new scenarios with an ex. They are often subconscious reflections of her thoughts and feelings.
  2. Fleeting Sexual Thoughts:
    • These are brief, passing thoughts that might pop up randomly. They can be triggered by something that reminds her of you or your intimate moments.
  3. Fantasy Thoughts:
    • Sometimes, these thoughts can be more elaborate fantasies. They might be a way of exploring desires or experiences that were unfulfilled in the relationship.
  4. Remembrances of Past Encounters:
    • Reflecting on past sexual encounters is common. These memories might be cherished and thought of fondly, especially if they were significant or particularly enjoyable.

The Expert’s Corner

Insider Insights From Chris Seiter:  12 FAQs About Whether Your Ex Thinks About You Sexually

  1. Is it normal for my ex to think about me sexually after we’ve broken up?
    • Yes, it’s quite common. Post-breakup, people often reflect on intimate aspects of their past relationships, including sexual memories, due to emotional connections or physical nostalgia.
  2. How often do ex-partners typically have sexual thoughts about each other?
    • The frequency varies widely among individuals. Some may think about their exes sexually quite often, especially soon after the breakup, while others may seldom have such thoughts, particularly if it was a bad breakup.
  3. Do these thoughts mean my ex wants to get back together?
    • Not necessarily. Sexual thoughts can be purely physical and may not reflect a desire to rekindle the relationship. They’re often more about processing memories than indicative of current intentions.
  4. How do I know if my ex is thinking about me sexually?
    • It’s difficult to know for sure unless they communicate this directly. Assuming such thoughts without clear indications can lead to misunderstandings.
  5. Is it unhealthy to think about my ex sexually?
    • Not inherently. It’s a natural part of processing a past relationship. However, if these thoughts prevent you from moving on or cause distress, it might be beneficial to seek support.
  6. Should I tell my ex that I’m thinking about them sexually?
    • This depends on your current relationship with your ex and their current situation. In many cases, sharing such thoughts can complicate things and may not be appropriate, especially if either of you has moved on.
  7. What if my ex tells me they’ve been thinking about me sexually?
    • React in a way that aligns with your feelings and current relationship status. Be honest but considerate. If you’re not interested in rekindling things, communicate this gently.
  8. Can sexual thoughts about an ex impede my ability to move on?
    • If these thoughts are persistent and affect your emotional well-being or hinder new relationships, they might be an impediment. In such cases, addressing them through self-reflection or therapy can be helpful.
  9. How can I stop thinking about my ex sexually?
    • Redirecting your focus to personal growth, hobbies, and new social connections can help. If the thoughts are intrusive, seeking professional help like therapy could be beneficial.
  10. Is fantasizing about my ex a form of cheating if I’m in a new relationship?
    • This depends on the boundaries and expectations within your new relationship. Open and honest communication with your current partner about feelings and boundaries is crucial.
  11. Do men and women differ in how often they think about their exes sexually?
    • There can be differences, influenced by emotional processing styles and individual experiences. However, these are general trends and can vary greatly from person to person.
  12. Should I act on these thoughts and try to reconnect with my ex sexually?
    • Acting on these thoughts should be carefully considered, especially if either of you is in a new relationship or if the breakup was recent. Rekindling a sexual relationship without addressing past issues can lead to further complications.

Conclusion: Navigating Post-Breakup Sexual Reflections:

Understanding that your ex-girlfriend might think about you sexually post-breakup is important in processing your own emotions and expectations. It’s a common aspect of how individuals process past relationships.

However, it’s crucial not to over-interpret these thoughts as a signal for reconciliation or a lingering romantic connection. They are often just a part of the human experience of remembering and reflecting on a significant past relationship.

If you find yourself in a similar head space, remember that it’s normal and doesn’t necessarily dictate your future actions or decisions regarding the relationship. These thoughts are a natural part of the emotional and psychological journey following a breakup.

However, if you’re considering getting back together, or if these thoughts are causing you distress, it might be helpful to talk to a breakup coach  to gain a better understanding and perspective.



Disclosure: I am the Author and Creator of this content. My aim is to provide you with original, well structured and authoritative content about this ex recovery topic utilizing my experience and expertise. I have endeavored to produce content that is high quality, relevant, informative, accurate, and reliable. In doing so, I have used an AI tool to some extent to assist me in generating useful content for my readers. This assistance may include topic research, the development of outline structures, phraseology for titles and headings, content curation, narrative expansion, grammar usage, and optimizing readability. All of this is done for the purpose of adding value to the post that I have produced. I personally “proof” every quality post I write for accuracy, completeness, textual flow, fine-tuning purposes, inclusion of relevant media, and inclusion of helpful internal links to further assist the reader. I do not allow for any 3rd party advertising that would muddy up my content or distract my readers.

Signed By Yours Truly, Chris Seiter, Founder of Ex Boyfriend & Ex Girlfriend Recovery.	

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