My Stubborn Ex Girlfriend Won’t Text or Contact Me

So let’s say you and your ex girlfriend are just not connecting on any level anymore. You probably knew you were in trouble when she told you she never wanted to hear from you or speak to you again.   No doubt, your ex girlfriend is bitter. To say she is treating you coldly and is nasty to you would be an under statement.

Now you don’t even hear a peep from your ex. The thought of her contacting you or talking to you again seems like a long shot. It’s like you are a ghost and she can neither see you or read anything you might send her way.

Some ex girlfriends can be this way. They can stubbornly rub you out of their life without any chance of reprieve.

Such is the depth of your ex’s grip on her refusal to text you back or acknowledge your existence.

But you probably already knew this was coming because after all you ended up on this post because you are looking for solutions on how to handle a stubborn ex girlfriend fixated on wiping you clean from her world.

So let’s break this down so you can understand why its happening and what you can do to thaw out that cold, calculating choice your ex girlfriend made to turn you into the invisible man.

Today we are going to talk about two main things

  1. Why Your Ex Girlfriend Is So Stubborn About Contacting You?
  2. How Do You Overcome Your Ex Girlfriend’s Stubbornness and Get Her To Respond To Your Texts?

What Makes Your Ex So Stubborn and Pig Headed That She Won’t Text or Contact You

hiding from me

You have to remember that when you and your ex broke it off, it was likely she was very hurt by the who episode.  She might not have showed you at the time, but by now it is probably becoming very apparent to you that your ex girlfriend has dug in her heels and it’s going to take a lot to get her to open up with you.

Now I do have ex girlfriend recovery plans which you can lean more about here that can help you thaw out your ex girlfriend.  Trust me, its not likely she is going to hold this screw up you might have made over your head forever.   There is a way out.

So think of your ex as being on lock down.  Everything about you is probably a big turn off.  To understand what she might be thinking right now, it is best to capture what kinds of crazy breakup thoughts might be running through her mind.  By my count, it could be as many as 10!

So are you ready!  Here are the 10 reasons why your ex girlfriend is ignoring your texts and every other method you have employed to get her to talk.

1. Your Ex is To Headstrong and Obstinate About Contactng You Because She Has Always Had a Stubborn Streak In Her

Some girls are this way.  You say yes, they say no.  You want to go right, they want to go left. For all the things you might love about your ex girlfriend, such as their looks, sexuality, personality, risk taking attitude; the one vice she possesses could be that stubborn independent streak and no matter what you do or say, she is going to do it her way.

2. There Is No Amount of No Contact You Can Employ to Turn Her Stubbornness Around Because She Is a Princess

Well, at least in her own mind she is a Princess.  You can bend over backwards and play Mr. nice guy for however long you want, but some women are not going to give in.  You can try all the tricks to get her to forgive and forget, but sometimes you will run up against a brick wall.

In your ex’s mind,  you hurt her and she will shun you for the rest of her life. The good news is that this act is just that for most women.  They will put up stiff resistance to all your efforts to text her, but usually over time this hurt you imposed on her will dissolve away and she will start remembering some of those fun times you each had together.

3. Your Girl Is Giving You The Silent Treatment Because She Is Very Bitter About Something You Said or Did

silent treatment from ex

Whatever it is you did or said, you got your ex girlfriend pissed off at you and that anger has turned into bitterness.  So you aren’t going to get a reply from her while she is feeling this way.  So you have two choices.  Either you soften the blow of what you said or did by revealing something to her about your motivations that will help her look at it in a different way. Or you simply let enough time go by so some of that bitterness goes away. Meanwhile, just get use to being on your ex girlfriend bad side because she is not likely to give in for awhile.

4. You infuriated Your Ex Girlfriend By Messing Around With Another Girl Which Is Why She Has Shut You Out and is Acting So Jealous

So you really messed up haven’t you. It should be no surprise that she wont talk to you and is stubborn to a fault about even giving you a chance to explain yourself.  With some women, even the whisper of another girl in the picture can set them off and suddenly not only are you in the dog house, she won’t ever let you forget about it.  So now she is your ex and she may be still so mad at you that the notion of contacting you is the farthermost thing from her mind.

This may be the case even if you have sent her a beautiful bouquet of flowers, serenaded her, or executed any other clever “forgive me” ploy you came up with. If you are facing this kind of breakup problem, it is probably best to take your lumps and let her slowly unwind this anger before you even think of texting her.  And please, don’t resort to begging and pleading for forgiveness.  It’s just going to make her more mad at you.

5. Your Ex Girlfriend May Be Playing Victim Because She Accused You of Acting Distant

sad girl and alone

It’s possible your former lover has turned off communications because you have been showing repeated signs of pulling away from her and acting distant.  These little cues she picks up (or imagines) from you can accumulate over time, until it finally takes a huge toll on her psyche and she becomes convinced you don’t care.

As a result of all this, she will shut down because she feels it’s futile to carry on a loveless relationship.  When your ex gf doesn’t feel loved, there are hardly any words she will want to speak to you because she feels so rejected.

6. You Were Rude and Obnoxious To Your Ex and Now She Is Going To Make You Pay

There is only so much a girl can take and if your girlfriend is independent of mind and prides herself on being an empowered woman and then you treat her rudely, look out.  You are going to get tossed aside because in her mind, she doesn’t need you and certainly is not going to tolerate your ugly behavior towards her.

7. Your Ex is Incensed With You Because She Believes You Were Nasty and Mean

If you are wondering why your ex is treating you so coldly, refusing to accept your calls or stubbornly refusing to respond to your texts, it could be because you lacked good manners in a very important situation.  Whatever you did, it got her attention as being in very poor taste and she is not going to tolerate it.  So get ready to get ghosted because she may be on the edge of getting rid of you.

8. Your Girlfriend of No More is Declaring She is Through With You Because She Says You Are a Heartless Person

If your ex sees you as person who has no empathy and doesn’t care about her feelings and does things to undermine her, you should not be surprised that she has put up a wall and is not letting you in.  So take a step back and take stock of what kinds of things you have been doing to cause her to perceive you this way, otherwise you could be an untouchable for some time.

9. Your Ex May Be Having Serious Second Thoughts About the Direction the Relationship is Taking

Your girlfriend may be using No Contact on you because she isn’t sure anymore if you are the right guy for her. So she has cut off all communications with you.  No more texts.  No more following you on Social Media.  No phone calls.  From your perspective she is being stubborn and unreasonable.  But for her it is part of a concerted plan to take a hard look at just how important you are to her life.

10. This Recent Silent Treatment From Your Ex Gf Could Be Part of a Cycle of Acting Nice Then Mean

It could be that she is really mixed up and this recent shunning of you is part of a larger picture of her sometimes feeling drawn to you and missing you, then deciding she doesn’t need you. Then changing her mind again.  So if this kind of thing is going on, then you need to take a step back and ask yourself if you want to be part of such a relationship.

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How Do You Overcome Your Ex Girlfriend’s Stubborn Streak

walking away from you

Seldom is there on surefire tactic you can rely on to get your ex to start talking to you.  She is probably stubborn about speaking to you for a number of reasons and if you don’t back-off and let her have some room, it’s just going to get worse.

So here is what you should do to get past her stubbornness and insistence to block you from her life:

  1. Start with re-evaluating your expectations.  If you think you are going to suddenly changer her mind, reset your expectations. It’s not happening.  Consider this to be a long term process.
  2. Stop trying to contact her so much.  It is probably aggravating her and lessening your chances of hearing from her.
  3. If you have not done so already, institute the No Contact Rule.  It will give her time to heal and reconsider her response to you when you finally do reach out again.
  4. Focus less on her lack of response to your efforts to get her talking and get centered on your own self recovery needs.
  5. Make a plan to get her back and the first step on your plan is try NOT to get her back.  Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes those who you want badly will come to you when you show less interest.
  6. Empathize with what your ex girlfriend is going through.  She may have dug in and re-fortified her position for a good reason.  Try to understand her perspective, then let her know you understand, then give her space.
  7. If your ex has put up a big wall and is not allowing your texts to be received or any to go out, then when it’s time to reach out, do so in an incredibly ingenious and creative way which I actually talk about here in some of my innovative product offerings.
  8. She is probably not blocking you on social media because she is stubborn about contacting with you.  It could be that the pain of the breakup has caused her to try and put a blanket over anything that reminds her of you. So diffuse her anxiety and reach out to her and assure her you will respect her privacy and space.  Showing this kind of empathy could later pay off in spades.
  9. Sometimes you need to pull out the stops and try something out of the box.  I call it the Message in the Bottle.  That’s right.  Get a beautiful wine bottle.  Got to the trouble of having merchant put on a personalized label of your choosing.  Include a simple and short message simply telling her something nice, then arrange for it to be delivered.
  10. Outwit and outlast your ex girlfriend.  Someone has to win this battle.  Make sure she thinks she is having her way, but in the end you win if you can get her talking.
		

Written by EGR team mate

Chris Seiter