By Chris Seiter

Published on January 2nd, 2024

 So, you messed up, and now your ex-girlfriend has blocked you. Ouch! It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a reality check about the consequences of our actions.

In brief, If your ex-girlfriend blocked you due to poor treatment, respect her decision and use this time for self-reflection. Avoid trying to contact her and focus on personal growth. Understand that this is a consequence of your actions, and an opportunity to learn and improve. Apologize sincerely if necessary, but then continue with the No Contact rule.

Let’s dive into her mindset, your next moves, and the delicate art of self-reflection and healing.

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Why She Blocked You: Understanding Her Perspective

Understanding why your ex-girlfriend blocked you requires empathy and a deeper insight into her perspective.  You may have really hurt your ex in ways you don’t fully understand. Here’s a view of her possible thought process:

  1. Seeking Emotional Safety: When a person feels mistreated in a relationship, their primary need becomes emotional safety. By blocking you, your ex is taking a step to protect herself from further emotional harm. It’s a self-care action that’s about more than just cutting off communication; it’s about creating a peaceful, safe space for herself where she is not constantly reminded of the pain or discomfort that the relationship might have caused her. This act is about prioritizing her mental and emotional health, something that she might have felt was compromised during the relationship.
  2. Drawing Boundaries: Blocking is a definitive way of drawing boundaries. It sends a clear message that she is no longer available to be treated in ways that she finds disrespectful or hurtful. It’s her taking control and asserting that she has the right to decide who gets to be a part of her life and in what capacity. This boundary-setting is an essential part of her asserting her self-worth and signaling that she will no longer tolerate behaviors that are damaging to her.
  3. Healing Process: Healing from a relationship, especially one where she felt mistreated, often requires space and time away from the person who caused the hurt. Blocking you can be a crucial step in her healing journey. It’s a way to eliminate distractions and focus on herself, her feelings, and her well-being without the interference of past dynamics. This disconnection isn’t necessarily about animosity; rather, it’s about her needing a clean break to process her emotions, to understand what she went through, and to start rebuilding her life without the shadow of the relationship looming over her.

What To Do Once You’re Blocked

  1. Respect Her Decision: Understanding and respecting her decision to block you is fundamental. It’s a clear indication that she needs space and boundaries. Any attempt to circumvent this blockade, such as reaching out through friends or creating new accounts, is disrespectful and counterproductive. Acknowledge her right to establish these boundaries and use this as an opportunity to reflect on the importance of respecting others’ emotional space.
  2. Self-Reflection: This is a critical time for self-analysis. Reflect on your behavior and its impact on the relationship. Be honest with yourself about your mistakes and the reasons behind them. Understanding what went wrong and why is essential for personal growth. This reflection isn’t about self-flagellation but about gaining insights into your behavior and its effects on those you care about.
  3. Implement No Contact: Adhering to the No Contact rule is crucial, and it serves a dual purpose. For her, it’s about respecting her need for space. For you, it’s an opportunity to focus on self-improvement without the distraction of ongoing communication. Use this time to break old patterns, heal from the breakup, and develop healthier emotional habits.
  4. Seek Personal Growth: View this period as a chance to grow and improve yourself. Engage in activities that foster personal development, like therapy, meditation, fitness, or learning new skills. Focus on aspects of yourself that you’d like to improve or change, be it your communication skills, emotional intelligence, or any other area you feel needs attention.
  5. Apologize If Necessary: If upon reflection, you recognize that your actions caused harm, a sincere apology may be in order. However, since direct communication isn’t an option, consider writing a letter of apology without the expectation of sending it. This can be a therapeutic exercise to articulate your understanding of the harm you caused and your remorse. If there ever comes a time in the future where an apology is appropriate and can be delivered respectfully, you’ll be prepared.
  6. Focus on Emotional Healing: Use this time to heal emotionally. Understand that moving on from a relationship, especially one that ended on a negative note, requires time and effort. Engage in activities that support your emotional well-being and help you process your feelings in a healthy way.
  7. Plan for the Future: Begin to envision a future that focuses on your well-being and personal growth. Set goals for yourself that are independent of your past relationship. This helps in creating a path forward that is about your development and happiness.
  8. Resist the Urge to Find Loopholes: It’s important not to look for indirect ways to keep tabs on her, such as through mutual friends or social media. Respecting her decision means also respecting her privacy and her journey.

What NOT To Do If You’re Blocked

  1. Don’t Stalk or Harass: Absolutely do not try to contact her through other means. Stalking, harassing, or pressuring her in any way is not only disrespectful but potentially harmful.
  2. Don’t Play the Victim: Avoid self-pity or portraying yourself as the victim. This situation is a result of your actions, and owning up to them is key.
  3. Don’t Rush the Process: Don’t be in a hurry to get unblocked or fix things immediately. Healing and change take time, both for you and her.
  4. Don’t Badmouth Her: Speaking ill of her to mutual friends or on social media is a big no. Maintain dignity and respect, regardless of your feelings.

The Importance of No Contact During Times When You Are Blocked

  1. Emotional Detox: No Contact allows both parties to detox from the emotional turmoil of the relationship. It’s a period of cooling down and gaining perspective.
  2. Personal Growth: This time is crucial for personal development. It allows you to work on your flaws and understand the dynamics of healthy relationships.
  3. Respecting Boundaries: No Contact is a way of respecting her boundaries and showing that you understand the gravity of your actions.
  4. Healing: For many, No Contact is a path to healing. It helps in moving past the pain and negativity associated with the relationship.

Time Heals and Trust Can Be Rebuilt

  1. Patience Is Key: Healing takes time. It’s important to be patient and not rush the process of making amends or seeking forgiveness.
  2. Possibility of Rebuilding Trust: Over time, and with genuine change, it’s possible to rebuild trust. But this should come from a place of wanting to do right by her, not just wanting to get back together.
  3. Future Opportunities: If it’s meant to be, and if you’ve truly changed, there might be an opportunity in the future to reconnect. But focus on the change, not the possibility of getting back together.

Apologizing for Your Actions

  1. Genuine Apology: If your actions were truly out of line and hurtful, an apology is warranted. This should be about expressing remorse for your actions, not about seeking forgiveness or a response.
  2. Written Letter: Sometimes, a written letter or email can be a good way to express your apology without violating the No Contact rule.
  3. Return to No Contact: After apologizing, return to No Contact. This shows that your apology wasn’t a tactic to reopen communication but a sincere act of contrition.

The Expert’s Corner

Insider Insights From Chris Seiter:  14 FAQs About “Dealing With Your Ex Blocking You After You Treated Her Badly”

  1. Why did my ex-girlfriend block me?
    • She likely blocked you to create emotional distance. It’s her way of setting boundaries, especially if she felt mistreated. Blocking can be a tool for her to regain a sense of control and start healing.
  2. Is it okay to try to contact her through other means?
    • No, it’s important to respect her decision to block you. Trying to contact her through other means can be seen as intrusive and disrespectful of her boundaries.
  3. What should I do now that I’m blocked?
  4. How can I show her I’ve changed if she’s blocked me?
    • Focus on genuine self-improvement without the expectation of showing her. If the opportunity naturally arises in the future, she may notice your changes, but the primary goal should be your personal development.
  5. Should I apologize for my actions?
    • If you genuinely feel remorseful, writing an apology can be cathartic. However, respect the No Contact boundary and don’t send it unless an appropriate, respectful opportunity presents itself in the future.
  6. How long should I wait before trying to reach out again?
    • It’s best to wait until she unblocks you, showing she might be open to communication. Even then, proceed with caution and respect.
  7. Can we be friends after she’s blocked me?
    • Friendship after being blocked is possible but depends on the healing process of both parties. It should happen naturally and without pressure from either side.
  8. What if we have to interact due to shared responsibilities or friends?
    • In unavoidable interactions, be respectful and keep communication brief and focused on the matter at hand. Don’t use it as an opportunity to discuss your relationship.
  9. How can I move on when I’m still hoping she’ll unblock me?
    • Focus on your life and personal growth. Engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you grow. Accepting the situation and redirecting your energy can aid in moving on.
  10. Is it normal to feel upset about being blocked?
    • Yes, feeling upset is normal. It’s important to process these feelings, perhaps through journaling or talking to your Coach.
  11. How can I deal with the anger of being blocked?
    • Acknowledge your anger, but also reflect on the reasons behind her decision. Channel your anger into positive activities or seek professional help if needed.
  12. Will she ever unblock me?
    • That depends on her healing process and how she views the situation in the future. It’s something you have little control over, so focus on what you can control – your own growth and healing.
  13. Is there a chance we could get back together after I’ve been blocked?
    • While there’s always a chance, focus more on what you can learn from this experience. If reconciliation is meant to happen, it will come from a place of mutual understanding and growth.
  14. How can I make sure I don’t repeat the same mistakes in future relationships?
    • Reflect on what went wrong and why. Seek to understand your behaviors and work on improving them. Consider therapy or self-help resources to gain deeper insights and develop healthier relationship patterns.


Being blocked by your ex-girlfriend post-breakup, especially if it’s due to your actions, is a wake-up call.

Respect her decision, use the time to work on yourself, and understand that the path to healing and possible reconciliation is a journey, not a sprint.

Remember, every situation is unique, and while some relationships can be mended, others serve as lessons for our personal growth.  Talk with a Breakup Coach to help you with avoiding missteps.

Whatever the outcome, prioritize becoming a better, more empathetic person for yourself and for those you’ll form relationships with in the future.



Disclosure: I am the Author and Creator of this content. My aim is to provide you with original, well structured and authoritative content about this ex recovery topic utilizing my experience and expertise. I have endeavored to produce content that is high quality, relevant, informative, accurate, and reliable. In doing so, I have used an AI tool to some extent to assist me in generating useful content for my readers. This assistance may include topic research, the development of outline structures, phraseology for titles and headings, content curation, narrative expansion, grammar usage, and optimizing readability. All of this is done for the purpose of adding value to the post that I have produced. I personally “proof” every quality post I write for accuracy, completeness, textual flow, fine-tuning purposes, inclusion of relevant media, and inclusion of helpful internal links to further assist the reader. I do not allow for any 3rd party advertising that would muddy up my content or distract my readers.

Signed By Yours Truly, Chris Seiter, Founder of Ex Boyfriend & Ex Girlfriend Recovery.	

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