By Chris Seiter

Published on December 14th, 2023

So you’re there, chilling, trying to figure out the latest level on your favorite video game or planning a night out with the squad, and boom – your phone lights up. It’s your ex-girlfriend, and she’s just asked you to dinner. Wait, what? Your brain’s doing somersaults trying to figure out what this means. Is it a catch-up, a reconciliation, or something else?

Lots to consider, right? Quickly, here is my take on the topic:

If your ex-girlfriend has invited you to dinner, consider your current feelings and relationship status. If you’re comfortable and interested in reconnecting, it could be a good opportunity. However, if you’re uncertain or have moved on, it might be better to politely decline to avoid mixed signals.

Honestly, you need to understand much more before you can  accept an unexpected dinner invite.  Let’s figure out your next move.

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My Ex Girlfriend Has Asked Me To Have Dinner

The Dinner Invite: What Could It Mean?

  1. The “We’re Just Friends” Scenario: Maybe she’s genuinely looking for friendship. Perhaps she values the bond you guys had and wants to keep that part alive, minus the romance.
  2. A Trip Down Memory Lane: She might be feeling nostalgic. Dinners can be a way to relive the good old days without any strings attached. It’s like playing your favorite old song – brings back memories, but doesn’t change where you are now.
  3. The “Let’s Try Again” Angle: She could be thinking about giving the relationship another shot and wants to see if there’s still a spark between you two.
  4. Closure Dinner: Perhaps things ended abruptly, and she’s looking for a more formal closure. A dinner could be her way of putting a peaceful end to the chapter.
  5. Curiosity Killed the Cat: She might just be curious about where you are in life. An ex popping back into your life out of mere curiosity isn’t uncommon.
  6. The Ambiguity of It All: Sometimes, there’s no clear reason. It might be a mix of friendship, nostalgia, and just wanting to see how you react.

How to Navigate the Dinner Request?

  1. Gauge Your Feelings: How did you feel when you got the invite? Confused, excited, indifferent? Your initial emotional reaction is a big clue about what you really want.
  2. Set Your Expectations: Before you respond, figure out what you expect from this dinner. Are you thinking about getting back together, or are you over the relationship and see her just as a friend?
  3. To Go or Not to Go: If you’re curious or open to rekindling a friendship (or more), why not? But if you’re still healing from the breakup or you’re in a different place in your life, it might be best to politely decline.  This is particularly the case if you are in a period of No Contact.
  4. Clear Communication is Key: If you decide to go, it’s okay to ask her what the dinner is about. A simple, “Is this a friendly catch-up, or is there something specific you wanted to talk about?” can give you a clearer picture.
  5. The Friend Zone Disclaimer: If you’re open to being friends, make sure that’s clear. Setting boundaries from the get-go can save a lot of awkwardness later on.
  6. Prep for All Scenarios: Go into this dinner prepared for any outcome. She might want to get back together, be friends, or just say a final goodbye.  Hopefully, you have followed your coaching Game Plan and have laid down the work to create value and attraction.
  7. The Post-Dinner Reflection: After the dinner, take some time to reflect on how it made you feel. Was it comfortable, awkward, enlightening?

What You Shouldn’t Do?

  1. Don’t Go with Unrealistic Expectations: If you’re secretly hoping for a romantic reunion, be careful. You don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment.
  2. Avoid the Past Drama: This dinner isn’t the time to rehash old arguments or blame each other for what went wrong. Keep the conversation light and forward-thinking.
  3. Don’t Ignore Your Gut: If something feels off about the invitation, listen to that feeling. Your intuition often knows what’s best for you.
  4. Avoid Using It as a Rebound Platform: If you’re seeing someone new, respect that relationship. Don’t use this dinner as a way to make your current partner jealous or as a rebound.

A Closer Look At What Your Ex Really Wants From Her Dinner Invitation

Your ex-girlfriend asking you to dinner is like a scene straight out of a sitcom – it’s got potential for laughs, drama, and unexpected twists. The key to navigating this situation is to be honest with yourself about what you want and what you’re ready for.

It’s also about understanding that people change, and what you had in the past might not be what you’ll have in the future – whether that’s friendship, romance, or just two ships passing in the night.

Alright, so let’s break it down. Your ex hitting you up for dinner – it’s like stepping onto a set where the script hasn’t been written yet. It could be chill, awkward, or even a total plot twist. But the big question is, what’s she really looking for with this invite?

Decoding the Dinner Invitation

  1. The “Let’s Be Friends” Pilot Episode: She might be channeling those vibes where you guys switch from being an ‘us’ to just two people who know each other’s embarrassing stories. It’s like, “Hey, we didn’t work out romantically, but maybe we can laugh about that time you tripped in front of everyone at that party.”
  2. The Nostalgia Rerun: Maybe she’s been scrolling through her camera roll, came across some old pics, and now she’s missing the connection. It’s less about rebooting the relationship and more about replaying some of the greatest hits.
  3. The Romantic Reboot: On the flip side, maybe she’s been thinking about what went wrong and wondering if you two deserve a second season. This dinner could be her way of testing the waters to see if there’s still a spark.
  4. The Plot Twist – Seeking Closure: Perhaps things ended on a cliffhanger, and she’s looking for that final episode that gives closure. It’s about turning the last page of your story together so she can start a new chapter.
  5. The Spin-Off Series – She’s Changed: People evolve, and maybe she has too. This dinner might be her way of showing you who she is now, which could be way different from who she was when you were together.
  6. The “Just Checking In” Cameo Appearance: Sometimes, it’s as simple as her wanting to know you’re doing okay. Like a cameo appearance in a show – brief, but meaningful in its own way.

Unpacking the Intentions

When your ex-girlfriend asks you out to dinner, it’s like she’s handed you a mystery box. You won’t know what’s inside until you open it, but you can guess based on past episodes.

Has she always been the type to stay friends with her exes? Was your breakup the dramatic season finale or more of a quiet fade-out?

Please don’t go into this blind.

The Reality Check

Now, let’s get real. It’s crucial to take a step back and think about what you’re diving into.

Are you over the drama? Are you ready to sit across from her and not fall back into old patterns? Or, are you kinda hoping this might be a second chance?

Remember, this dinner is just one scene in the bigger picture of your life. It could be a one-time thing or the start of something new (whatever that ‘new’ might be).

Just make sure you’re not walking into it expecting a certain outcome. Like all good sitcoms, the unexpected often makes the best episodes.

Your Move

So, you’ve got the invite, and now it’s your move. Whether you decide to go for the dinner and see what’s up, or politely decline and keep flipping through your own chapters, remember to stay true to your storyline.

You’re the main character in your show, after all. Keep it real, keep it honest, and above all, keep focused on what’s best for you. And who knows? This dinner could just be the unexpected twist that leads to something awesome (or at least a good story to tell your friends later).


An invitation to dinner from an ex-girlfriend can stir up a whirlpool of emotions and questions. Whatever you decide, it’s a decision that should be based on where you are in your life and how you feel about her now.

It’s about balancing the nostalgia of the past with the reality of the present. Whether you choose to walk into that restaurant or politely decline the invite, ensure that your decision is aligned with your emotional health and life journey.

Remember, life’s a journey with unexpected stops, and this dinner invite is just one of them. Whichever route you take, make sure it’s one that adds to your story in a positive way.

The Expert’s Corner: 12 FAQs About Handling a Dinner Invitation from an Ex

  1. Why would my ex-girlfriend suddenly ask me out to dinner?
    • It could be for several reasons – from seeking friendship or closure to exploring the possibility of rekindling the relationship, or simply out of nostalgia or curiosity.
  2. Should I go to dinner with my ex-girlfriend?
    • It depends on your emotional state and what you’re hoping to gain from the experience. If you feel it could be positive or provide closure, it might be worth considering. However, if you’re still healing from the breakup, it might be better to decline.
  3. How do I prepare for this dinner?
    • Go in with an open mind and minimal expectations. Reflect on what you want to say and how you’ll handle different scenarios, from casual conversation to more serious discussions.
  4. What should we talk about at dinner?
  5. Is it okay to ask her why she wanted to have dinner?
    • Yes, it’s reasonable to ask for her intentions. A straightforward question can help clear the air and set the tone for the evening.
  6. What if I still have feelings for her?
    • Acknowledge your feelings but also be aware of her intentions. If she’s just looking for friendship and you want more, it could lead to emotional complications.
  7. What if the dinner brings back old memories and feelings?
    • It’s natural for a meeting like this to stir up old emotions. Take time after the dinner to process your feelings and consider what they mean for your current emotional state.
  8. Should I tell her about my current dating life?
    • Only share this information if you’re comfortable and if it comes up naturally in conversation. Be mindful of how this might affect her and the dynamic of your meeting.
  9. How do I turn down the dinner invitation if I’m not ready?
    • Be honest but polite. A simple response like, “I appreciate the invitation, but I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of meeting,” is respectful and clear.
  10. What if she wants to get back together?
    • If you’re not interested in rekindling the relationship, be honest about your feelings. If you’re open to the idea, discuss it openly but cautiously.
  11. Can this dinner be a step towards becoming friends?
    • Yes, it’s possible to transition to a friendship, but it requires clear communication and mutual understanding of each other’s boundaries and expectations.
  12. What are the signs that this dinner was a bad idea?
    • If the dinner leaves you feeling confused, upset, or longing for the past, it might indicate that you weren’t ready to meet up. Reflect on these feelings to understand your readiness for such interactions.	

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