By Chris Seiter

Published on January 22nd, 2024

So, you’re in a spot where you’re thinking about getting your ex-girlfriend back, but she seems to have moved on. Tough situation, right?   But hey, challenges can be exciting and just because your ex says they are moving on, doesn’t necessarily mean all is lost.

If you are looking for a brief answer, I have that for you.

To win back an ex-girlfriend who has moved on, focus on personal growth, re-establish contact gently, and show genuine change. Apologize for past mistakes, respect her space, and be patient. However, it’s crucial to understand her reasons for moving on and to respect her decision. Ultimately, your approach should be grounded in sincerity, respect, and an acceptance of whatever outcome may come.

So there you go.  You have a bit of a plan.  But quite honestly, you need to educate yourself much more and have a Game Plan that is more sophisticated and strategic.

Let’s dive into some strategies that might just tilt the odds in your favor.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

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14 Tactics to Increase Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back If They Claim To Have Moved On

These 14 tactics for increasing your chances of getting your ex back, especially if they’ve moved on, are thoughtfully crafted to respect both your growth and your ex’s.  Make sure you seek to do all of these things before your turn to more risk and creative approaches which I will discuss further below.

  1. Reflect and Improve: Self-improvement is a journey, not a destination. Look into the reasons behind the breakup – were there communication issues, unmet expectations, or personal habits that contributed? Work on these areas actively. It might involve reading self-help books, seeking therapy, or simply practicing new behaviors. Remember, this improvement is primarily for you.
  2. Re-establish Contact Slowly: Initiating contact should be done with sensitivity. Start by acknowledging a significant event in her life, like congratulating her on a professional achievement or wishing her well on a special occasion. This shows you’re thoughtful and aware of her life, without immediately delving into personal territory.
  3. Show Your Growth: Demonstrating personal growth can be subtle – sharing a new hobby you’ve taken up, talking about books that changed your perspective, or simply exhibiting new behaviors in your interactions. Let these changes be visible through your actions and attitudes.
  4. Common Interests Reboot: Rediscover the shared passions that brought you together. Propose an activity that aligns with these interests but make sure it’s casual and non-threatening. For instance, if you both enjoy art, suggest visiting a new art exhibit.
  5. Be a Good Listener: Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and then remembering what is being said. Practice this in your conversations with her. This not only shows that you value her words but also that you’re invested in understanding her perspective.
  6. Support Her Ambitions: Take genuine interest in her goals and dreams. Ask her about her career aspirations or personal projects and encourage her. This shows that you respect her as an individual outside of the relationship.
  7. Apologize Sincerely: A heartfelt apology goes a long way. Acknowledge the specific things you did wrong and express genuine remorse. Avoid justifications for your actions in your apology – focus on acknowledging her feelings and the impact of your actions.
  8. Stay Positive: Keep your interactions light-hearted and positive. Avoid dredging up past arguments or issues. This creates a pleasant atmosphere and opens the door to new possibilities.
  9. Rebuild Trust: Restoring trust is a slow process. It involves being consistently honest, punctual, and reliable. Keep your promises and show through your actions that you can be trusted.
  10. Respect Her Space: It’s important to respect her independence and personal boundaries. Don’t pressure her for meetings or responses. Understand and accept her need for space – this respect can go a long way.
  11. Be Patient: Patience is key in potentially rekindling an old flame. Don’t rush things and don’t expect immediate results. Give the process the time it needs to naturally unfold.  And if you do not have a well thought out Game Plan, then get one.  We can help you with that. Indeed, you may want to have a Breakup Coach.
  12. Show Consistency: Be consistent in your behavior and in your efforts to show you’ve changed. Inconsistencies can make you appear unreliable or insincere.
  13. Romantic Gestures: Depending on how your re-connection is progressing, consider small romantic gestures like sending her favorite flowers or a book she’s been wanting to read. However, gauge her comfort level with such gestures carefully.
  14. Be Prepared for Any Outcome: Finally, it’s crucial to understand and accept that she might still choose not to re-enter the relationship. Be prepared for this possibility and respect her decision. Remember, the ultimate goal is mutual happiness, whether together or apart.

Why Your Ex May Have Chosen to Move On

Understanding why your ex moved on is crucial. It gives insight into what didn’t work and what you might need to change.

  1. Need for Personal Growth: She might have felt the need for personal space to grow.
  2. Different Life Goals: Perhaps your visions for the future diverged too much.
  3. Emotional Needs Not Met: She might have felt that her emotional needs were not being adequately met in the relationship.
  4. Felt Undervalued: It’s possible she didn’t feel appreciated or valued in the relationship.
  5. Desire for a Fresh Start: Sometimes, after a breakup, people want to completely start over, which includes new relationships.
  6. Unresolved Issues: Persistent unresolved issues can be a big factor in moving on.
  7. New Love Interest: She may have developed feelings for someone else, which is a natural course of action post-breakup.

Creative Ways to Get Your Ex to Reconsider If They Have Moved On

If the traditional tactics don’t seem to work, here are some creative ways to get your ex’s attention. Remember, these should be used with respect for their feelings and boundaries.  Don’t push and prod such that your ex becomes exasperated with you.

  1. Write a Letter: A handwritten letter offers a personal touch in a world dominated by digital communication. It allows you to express your thoughts and feelings in a reflective and heartfelt way. Discuss your personal growth since the breakup, your understanding of why things didn’t work out, and your current feelings. Be sincere and avoid placing any blame. This approach is intimate and shows thoughtfulness and effort.
  2. Create a Personalized Playlist: Music has a unique way of evoking emotions and memories. Compile a playlist of songs that either hold special memories for both of you or resonate with your current feelings. Accompany it with a note explaining your choice of songs. This gesture shows that you remember and cherish those shared experiences and feelings.
  3. Plan a Surprise Event Related to a Shared Interest: Organize an activity or event based on a hobby or interest you both share. It could be as simple as a virtual movie night with a film you both love, attending a virtual concert, or even a small outdoor gathering for stargazing if you both enjoy astronomy. The key is to choose something enjoyable and non-pressuring, allowing for a relaxed and enjoyable experience.
  4. Collaborative Project: Suggest a collaborative project that is light and enjoyable. It could range from a fun DIY task to working on a community project or a shared hobby. This gives you a chance to work together on something positive and non-stressful, fostering a sense of teamwork and camaraderie.
  5. Memory Scrapbook: Creating a scrapbook filled with memories of your time together can be a touching reminder of the happy moments you shared. Include photos, ticket stubs from movies or concerts, and other memorabilia. This thoughtful gesture can evoke feelings of nostalgia and remind her of the good times.
  6. Sincere Social Media Post: A well-crafted, sincere post on social media that either reflects on the positive aspects of your past relationship or shows your journey of personal growth can be a subtle way to catch her attention. Ensure that it’s respectful and not an overt attempt to win her back. It should be more about sharing your journey or appreciation rather than making a direct appeal to her.
  7. Mutual Friends Gathering: Organizing a casual get-together with mutual friends can be a great way to reconnect in a low-pressure environment. It allows for interaction in a group setting, which can be more comfortable and less intense than one-on-one meetings. Choose an activity that is relaxed and enjoyable for everyone involved.

The Expert’s Corner – Insights From Chris Seiter

12 FAQs on Getting Your Ex-Girlfriend Back After She Has Moved On

  1. Is it possible to get my ex back after she has moved on?
    • It’s possible, but not guaranteed. It depends on many factors, including the reasons for the breakup, the current dynamics between you, and her feelings. Focus on personal growth and respectful communication.
  2. How long should I wait before trying to get her back?
    • There’s no specific time frame, but it’s important to give her and yourself enough time to reflect and grow. Rushing might backfire, so ensure that any approach is well-timed and considerate.
  3. Should I contact her directly or give her space?
    • Start by respecting her space. Sometimes, lots of it. If you decide to reach out, do so gently and without expectation. Gauge her response and proceed accordingly.
  4. How can I show her that I’ve changed?
    • Demonstrate your growth through actions, not just words. Engage in new activities, improve your lifestyle, and if you get a chance to communicate with her, let these changes be evident in your behavior.
  5. What if she’s already seeing someone else?
    • If she’s in another relationship, it’s important to respect her choice. Trying to intervene can be disrespectful and damaging. Focus on your own growth and well-being.
  6. Can mutual friends help in getting her back?
    • While mutual friends can offer support, avoid using them as a means to reconnect. It’s important to maintain direct and honest communication without putting friends in an uncomfortable position.
  7. How do I deal with the fear of rejection?
    • Understand that rejection is a possibility and part of the process. Prepare yourself emotionally and remember that your self-worth doesn’t depend on the outcome of this situation.
  8. What are some mistakes to avoid when trying to get her back?
    • Avoid pressuring her, over-communicating, bringing up negative past experiences, and making grand gestures that aren’t in line with her comfort. Respect her boundaries at all times.
  9. Should I write her a letter or talk in person?
    • This depends on your comfort level and the dynamics of your past relationship. A letter can be a thoughtful way to express your feelings, while a conversation allows for more immediate interaction. Choose based on what feels most sincere and appropriate.
  10. What if she doesn’t want to communicate with me?
    • If she’s not open to communication, it’s crucial to respect her decision. Continuing to pursue her against her wishes can be harmful and counterproductive.
  11. How can I emotionally cope if it’s clear she has moved on for good?
    • Focus on self-care and engage in activities that promote your well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and consider professional help if you’re struggling to cope.
  12. Is it a good idea to try to make her jealous?
    • Trying to make her jealous is not advisable. This can lead to negative feelings and can further damage the possibility of a healthy relationship in the future. Genuine connections are built on trust and respect, not gamesmanship.


Disclosure: I am the Author and Creator of this content. My aim is to provide you with original, well structured and authoritative content about this ex recovery topic utilizing my experience and expertise. I have endeavored to produce content that is high quality, relevant, informative, accurate, and reliable. In doing so, I have used an AI tool to some extent to assist me in generating useful content for my readers. This assistance may include topic research, the development of outline structures, phraseology for titles and headings, content curation, narrative expansion, grammar usage, and optimizing readability. All of this is done for the purpose of adding value to the post that I have produced. I personally “proof” every quality post I write for accuracy, completeness, textual flow, fine-tuning purposes, inclusion of relevant media, and inclusion of helpful internal links to further assist the reader. I do not allow for any clutter that would distract from my content or confuse my readers.

Signed By Yours Truly, Chris Seiter, Founder of Ex Boyfriend & Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

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Chris Seiter	

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