By Chris Seiter

Published on January 1st, 2024

Sometimes, you might get the vibe that your ex-girlfriend wants you to chase her, even after things have ended.   i

It’s crucial to approach this situation with a blend of keen observation and rationality. Far too often I have seen our coaching clients chase when they should have laid back. But make no mistake, if you read the signs correctly you may be presented with an opening.

But how do you even know what telltale signs to look for?  What are the main things you might notice to clue you in?

In short, Some of the KEY SIGNS include your ex is consistently sending mixed signals, like being hot and cold; initiating contact but then pulling back; showing jealousy or interest in your dating life; making nostalgic references to your past; and seeking your attention through social media. They may also show up at places they know you frequent.

But there are many more things that may transpire to clue you in that your ex wants to play the chase game.

Here are 15 signs that you should take notice of.  Be reminded that you should cautiously navigate these waters.  It can get a tricky interpreting what might be going on.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

What Are The Signs That Your Ex Wants You To Notice and Chase

When trying to decipher if your ex-girlfriend wants you to chase her, it’s essential to read between the lines and understand the subtleties of her actions. As always, make sure that whatever action you take is in accordance with your Ex Recovery Game Plan and the things your Breakup Coach has advised you to do.

Here’s an expanded look at the signs and how to tactfully handle them:

1. Increased Social Media Activity:

  • This heightened presence can be a tactic to stay on your radar. Her posts might be more frequent, more glamorous, or even emotionally charged to elicit a response from you.
  • What to Do: Maintain a stance of observation without immediate engagement. Reacting impulsively might not be in your best interest, especially if this is the sole indicator of her interest.

2. Deliberate Appearances in Your Social Circle:

  • It’s no coincidence if she starts showing up at places where she knows she’ll bump into you. This can range from social gatherings to your favorite coffee shop.
  • What to Do: Stay courteous during these encounters. If she initiates a conversation, engage politely but without giving signals that you’re overly interested or available.

3. Casual Texts and Calls:

  • The seemingly casual “just checking in” messages or calls about inconsequential matters could be her way of keeping the lines of communication open.
  • What to Do: Respond with brevity and neutrality. Engaging in long conversations might give her the impression of lingering interest on your part.

4. Bringing Up Happy Memories:

  • She might reminisce about the good times as a way to remind you of what you had together, possibly rekindling feelings.
  • What to Do: It’s okay to acknowledge these memories, but pivot the conversation back to current, neutral topics. Dwelling on the past can cloud judgment.

5. Subtle Jealousy:

  • Noticeable discomfort or snide remarks when you mention new people in your life can be a sign of unresolved feelings.
  • What to Do: Avoid sharing details about your dating life. If she becomes jealous, gently steer the conversation elsewhere.

6. Mutual Friends Bringing Her Up:

  • Friends mentioning her more often could be a sign that she’s been talking about you to them, possibly in the hope that her messages will reach you.
  • What to Do: Listen to what they have to say but maintain objectivity. Friends may unintentionally become conduits for her to gauge your interest.

7. Sudden Interest in Your Life:

  • If she’s suddenly curious about your personal life, it might be a sign she’s trying to stay connected or relevant to you.
  • What to Do: Share updates about your life without going into too much detail. Over-sharing can create unnecessary emotional entanglements.

8. Remorseful Talk:

  • Talking about regrets or what went wrong could be her way of opening a door to reconciliation.
  • What to Do: Listen and acknowledge her feelings, but avoid delving into emotional discussions about the past. Keep the interaction balanced and forward-looking.

9. Change in Physical Appearance:

  • A significant change in her style or appearance when you’re likely to see her can be an attempt to catch your eye and spark renewed interest.
  • What to Do: A compliment can be polite, but ensure it doesn’t lead her to believe you’re pining for a reunion.

10. Openness About Her Single Status:

  • If she’s conspicuously highlighting her single status, it might be a nudge for you to consider reigniting the romance.
  • What to Do: Recognize the information but don’t act on it unless you’re sure you want to explore the relationship again.

11. Suggesting Casual Meet-ups:

  • Invitations to ‘accidentally’ meet or catch up can be her way of testing the waters to see if there’s still a spark.
  • What to Do: If you agree to meet, keep the atmosphere friendly and avoid romantic settings. It’s crucial to set the tone for what these meet-ups signify. But don’t meet up unless your Game Plan calls for it.  It might be too early in the process.

12. Lingering Communication:

  • If she’s drawing out conversations, it’s likely she’s seeking more of your time and attention.
  • What to Do: Politely end the conversation when it feels like it’s dragging. Setting time boundaries is important.

13. She Recalls Inside Jokes or Personal Details:

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz
  • Bringing up these intimate tidbits can be a subtle flirtation or a reminder of your shared past.
  • What to Do: A light-hearted acknowledgment is fine, but don’t linger on these topics. It’s important not to let nostalgia dictate your actions.

14. She’s Curious About Your Relationship Status:

  • Inquiring about whether you’re seeing someone is a pretty direct indicator of interest.
  • What to Do: Be honest yet guarded. Sharing too much might give her false hope or encourage further pursuit.

15. She’s More Touchy-Feely Than Usual:

  • Increased physical contact can be a way to re-establish a connection.
  • What to Do: Be aware of your boundaries. If you’re uncomfortable, subtly but firmly establish your physical space.

Navigating the Signs with Caution and Clarity

If these signs are cropping up, it’s essential to take a step back and assess the situation holistically.

Remember, acting on these signs should align with your personal Ex Recovery Game Plan and the guidance of your Break-up Coach.

These signs, especially in isolation, are not definitive indicators of a desire for reconciliation. It’s crucial to look for a consistent pattern or an accumulation of signs before considering any response.

Moreover, ensure that any action you take aligns with your personal feelings, goals, and the mutual understanding of what a renewed relationship would entail. Deciphering these signals requires a balance of emotional intelligence, patience, and a clear understanding of what you truly want moving forward.

The Expert’s Corner:

Insider Insights By Chris Seiter: 11 FAQs On the Topic of “Signs Your Ex Girlfriend Wants You To Chase Her” 

  1. How can I tell if my ex-girlfriend’s increased social media activity is a sign she wants me to chase her?
    • If her posts seem tailored to catch your attention, like sharing memories you both cherish, or if she’s more active in commenting or liking your posts, it could be a sign. However, look for consistent patterns over time rather than a few isolated instances.
  2. What does it mean if my ex-girlfriend keeps appearing at events or places I frequent?
    • This could indicate she wants to stay in your orbit and possibly provoke interaction. If these appearances feel too coincidental to be random, especially if they’re at places she didn’t usually go to when you were together, it might be a deliberate effort.
  3. Should I respond to casual texts and calls from my ex-girlfriend?
    • If you’re comfortable, respond briefly and politely if you are no longer engaged in No contact. However, maintain boundaries and keep conversations light. Frequent and trivial communication might be her way of keeping a connection alive.
  4. Why would my ex-girlfriend bring up happy memories from our relationship?
    • She might be reminiscing to evoke nostalgia and remind you of the good times, possibly to reignite feelings or gauge if there’s still an emotional connection.
  5. How should I interpret signs of jealousy from my ex-girlfriend?
    • Jealousy can be a sign of unresolved feelings. If she reacts negatively to mentions of your dating life or seems bothered by you moving on, it could indicate she’s not ready to let go.
  6. What if mutual friends start mentioning her more often?
    • This could mean she’s talking about you to them, possibly hoping they’ll relay messages or gauge your interest. Be cautious about reading too much into it and maintain an objective perspective.
  7. Is showing interest in my personal life a sign she wants me back?
    • It could be, especially if this interest is new or has increased post-breakup. However, it might also be a sign of her wanting to maintain a friendship. Look for other signs before drawing conclusions.
  8. How should I handle conversations where my ex-girlfriend expresses regret about the breakup?
    • Listen and acknowledge her feelings, but avoid delving into emotional discussions or giving false hope. It’s crucial to keep the conversation balanced and focused on the present.
  9. What if my ex-girlfriend changes her appearance significantly?
    • A significant change in appearance might be an attempt to draw your attention and show what you’re missing. Compliment her if it feels natural but avoid implying any deeper interest.
  10. Should I act on the knowledge that my ex-girlfriend is single and hinting at it?
    • Proceed with caution. Her being single and making it known to you could be an invitation, but don’t rush into anything. Reflect on why you broke up and whether those issues have been resolved.
  11. How do I handle increased physical touch from my ex-girlfriend?
    • Be mindful of your comfort level. If you’re uncomfortable with increased physical contact, gently establish your boundaries. If you’re open to rekindling things, look for more signs before moving forward.


      Reflecting on the top five signs – increased social media activity, deliberate appearances, casual texts and calls, bringing up happy memories, and subtle jealousy – it’s essential to approach each with a blend of insight, empathy, and cautious optimism.

      The increased social media activity and deliberate appearances might seem like a beacon, beckoning you back. Yet, it’s vital to understand that these actions could stem from a variety of emotional places, not necessarily a desire for reconciliation. Casual texts and calls could simply be her way of dipping toes in the water of your past relationship, testing the temperature.

      When she reminisces about the good times, it’s natural to feel a tug at your heartstrings. However, nostalgia is a seductive liar; it often glosses over the reasons why things didn’t work out in the first place.

      Subtle jealousy, perhaps the most direct of the signs, is a clear indication of unresolved feelings. But unresolved doesn’t always mean wanting to resolve things in the form of a relationship. It could just as well be a part of her emotional process of moving on.

      It’s crucial to view these signs through a lens of cautious clarity. If these signals are pointing you towards considering a reunion, weigh them against the backdrop of why you broke up and whether those core issues have been addressed.

      Consult with your breakup coach, and follow your ex recovery game plan. Remember, the decision to re-engage in a past relationship should be grounded in thoughtful consideration, emotional readiness, and a clear understanding of both your needs and hers.


Disclosure: I am the Author and Creator of this content. My aim is to provide you with original, well structured and authoritative content about this ex recovery topic utilizing my experience and expertise. I have endeavored to produce content that is high quality, relevant, informative, accurate, and reliable. In doing so, I have used an AI tool to some extent to assist me in generating useful content for my readers. This assistance may include topic research, the development of outline structures, phraseology for titles and headings, content curation, narrative expansion, grammar usage, and optimizing readability. All of this is done for the purpose of adding value to the post that I have produced. I personally “proof” every quality post I write for accuracy, completeness, textual flow, fine-tuning purposes, inclusion of relevant media, and inclusion of helpful internal links to further assist the reader. I do not allow for any 3rd party advertising that would muddy up my content or distract my readers.

Signed By Yours Truly, Chris Seiter, Founder of Ex Boyfriend & Ex Girlfriend Recovery.	

Related Articles