What are you to do if you dump your girlfriend, but then later realize she was the best thing you had going for you?
Should you simply call and tell her you made a huge mistake, praying she will take you back?
Um mm…..this ex recovery strategy probably won’t get you too far.
Imagine how you would feel if you got dumped by your ex. In most cases your girlfriend is not going to simply forgive you and trust that it won’t happen a gain.
I know you miss your girlfriend but if you dumped her and now want her back, you will need to broaden your approach and think strategically.
The fact is that after being dumped by you, you sent her trust and disappointment levels to new all time lows. Face it, you have a lot of work ahead of you and will need to deal with relationship fallout you probably never imagined. She is not going to be too keen in just letting it all slide, welcoming you back with hugs and kisses.
That is a fairy tale.
So forget about quick solutions. They usually make it worse.
I understand you are missing her. If she is as amazing as you think she is, then it sounds like your girlfriend is a keeper. Who wouldn’t miss such a person if she has been the best woman you ever had.
So the real question is how do you get out of your girlfriend’s doghouse? You are going to need a kick ass Ex Back Action Plan.
How do you navigate through these choppy waters of being the “dumper” and dealing with her lack of trust in you. After all, you ended it.
Now you might think you have the upper hand because you initiated the breakup. You might think, “Oh, but I have leverage.”
But it’s seldom that easy. Perhaps you handled it poorly. Maybe you dumped your girlfriend hastily, leaving her disillusioned about what happened and how she severely misjudged the real person you are. Yep, that is very likely how she is going to be processing things.
What you need is a well conceived strategy.
Lucky for you, that is what I do here at this website. I help guys win back their girlfriend, particularly if they screwed things up.
I came up with an entire Program on how to do it. It’s called, “The Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro Package“. It is loaded with content to help you through this process and trust me – the post breakup period is full of pitfalls if you don’t know what you’re doing.
So guess what? I have some Tips for you.
7 Tips You Should Consider After Dumping Your Girlfriend
We can all use a little help in figuring out how to handle things after a breakup. It is a complicated playing field. So if you are one of those guys that dumped your girlfriend and are now wondering if you should take her back, read up on what I am about to share because I am going to try to get you to the finish line with your pride and dignity restored and hopefully your girlfriend back on your arm.
Tip One: Evaluate If You Are Really Sure You Want Your Girlfriend Back
So sometimes we do things hastily in our love life. And just maybe you got rid of your girlfriend when in reality she was good for you. But it is also possible you got rid of your girlfriend for all the right reasons, except now you may be filled with uncertainty.
Those little self doubts can creep right into your mind so easily. And it doesn’t help that your routines have been interrupted and you are feeling a bit confused and out of place.
If you think you acted hastily and are dealing with self doubt and regret, it may be time to pull back and give yourself time to sort through it all. The last thing you want to do is turn into one of those hot/cold boyfriends who can’t make up their mind about what they really want.
Traveling down that path can often cause more harm than good for both of you.
So don’t be in a rush to reconcile as later you may feel rather foolish, particularly if it turns out that the breakup was for all the right reasons.
Tip Two: Consider Keeping the Channels of Communication Open If the Right Factors Are In Play
So if you are pretty sure that you are still holding on to some special feelings for your girlfriend, it would be best to keep the communication and social media channels open.
Of course, it is very possible she will be in no mood to talk with you yet. But when she cools down, having the ability to connect with you may lead to some progress or a little thawing out.
So it pays not to block or completely ignore your girlfriend if the right factors are in place. Things may not be as bad as you think. Maybe just a little quiet space for each of your for some time is the right medicine. As I said above, you need to figure our with some certainty what you really want from her.
So why not keep your options open. There may be other tactics you can employ rather than defaulting to the No Contact Rule, which by the way can be a very effective strategy.
I am not saying that you should not employ No Contact for your situation. Depending on the circumstances and many other factors, No Contact may be the most sensible approach.
I am just saying that sometimes there are other ways you can manage the post breakup period without completely shutting down communications if your were the instigator of the breakup. It is a complicated conversation to be honest. So if you need some coaching, just reach out to me.
Tip Three: When Necessary Apply A Shortened Form of the No Contact Rule
You may have to pull back to give her more room because she may still have some bad memories about you breaking up with her.
So if all paths are leading her farther away from you and if she seems to be fed up with the many ups/downs in the relationship, then you both may need a clean break. This wouldn’t be the first time that a girlfriend has shut down after getting the news their ex no longer wanted them.
That is a hurdle you are going to have to get over.
So if this is how things are moving post breakup, then implementing a shortened form of No Contact may be a suitable Ex Girlfriend Recovery Plan.
Then again, it may be more appropriate to go with a longer, traditional No Contact period of thirty days – more or less. It depends on the circumstances of your case.
Think of it this way. You just let her down and right now her trust in you is low. Getting back with you may be the last thing she wants. You might be better off by giving her some space and letting her know you want to take some time to get your head together.
NC is an adaptable principle and comes in all shapes and sizes. So in some situations it would perfectly fine to employ a shortened No Contact period or a limited form of No Contact. It may even be appropriate under certain circumstances to leave some room for some brief communications under certain select scenarios.
Think of it as a balancing act. Sometimes having some space is a good thing for both of you. But you need not always halt all communications indefinitely. Indeed, doing so can potentially cause more harm than good depending on your history with your ex, the type of breakup and what you think you really want out of the relationship.
Nevertheless, nor should you just rush right back into the relationship. Her belief in you has been torn away and so its going to take time to repair that. And being in her face or in her ear may not be the smart move.
Tip Four: Become a Better Man and Let Her See That You Are Evolving
If your girlfriend is going to believe in you again, you need to show you are working toward being a better man. I am sure she is not completely happy with you and how you have behaved in the relationship.
No relationship is perfect. Maybe you pulled the trigger on ending the relationship, but perhaps she had been thinking about it too. So take time to become the better version of yourself. You want to pave the way for your girlfriend to see that you are worthy of being trusted again and becoming attracted to you again.
By showing her from afar that you are doing the right things, it will only add to the chances of the relationship coming back together. Now on the other hand, if your ex girlfriend sees that you are partying it up and flirting and dating every girl in sight, you will just dig a deeper hole.
You need to demonstrate that you are going through a period of introspection. You want her to see that you want what is best for her and are willing to make sacrifices to be a better guy. Think of this as a process which is another reason why one never wants to rush back in.
Tip Five: Beware of Situations in Which Your Girlfriend Wants You Back Too Quickly
While it may be tempting to jump right back in at the first clear sign that your girlfriend has forgiven you, just know that seldom are things that easy. Beware of simplistic solutions and imagined outcomes after you have unceremoniously dumped her.
You should ask yourself if you want someone back who is so keen on forgiving you. If she is desperately pleading for you to come back and you agree, just know that it is likely some splinter still remains in her mind.
So what do I mean by that?
Essentially, one part of your girlfriend really wants you back. And you may want it all back too. But there is a good chance that she has not worked through things. She may still be carrying little resentments or even doubts about what happened and what is best for her. Her friends and family could be telling her all sorts of thing, further clouding her mind.
More often than not, these kinds of things, if not properly dealt with, can crop up later and sabotage both of your efforts to get the relationship off the ground.
Agreeing to rush back into a relationship that you yourself ended is seldom the smart move. If you are coming back, you want your partner to be really sure that you are worthy and that she is ready and vice versa.
No matter how much you want to hold her again, if you are simply wanting back in because her hormones and your hormones are firing in the same direction and you feel you have to have her – then you are going back for the wrong reasons.
It’s better to think in terms of little steps – little moves when deploying your ex recovery strategy.
Allow time for the respect and trust to fully form and over time the attachment will be stronger.
Tip Six: Don’t Rush Into Asking Her To Forgive You
Sometimes after you dump your girlfriend, you may later realize it was a horrible mistake. In such situations, you may come under the spell and temptation to immediately rush back and ask for a do over.
Sometimes your efforts may work, though as I explained above it is often a poor idea to try restart a relationship from a foundation in which trust and resentment still lingers.
Now I know that if you are reading this you may have come to realize that you made a big mistake. Sometimes we don’t realize how important someone is in our life until they are gone.
But the fact is that she may be so over you right now that the thought of reconciling is the farthest thing in her mind. Indeed, she may be dating again or has told you to stay out of her life.
These feelings of wanting her back at all costs, coupled with the realization that she is slipping away, can cause a guy to say and do desperate things.
The more you show yourself as a weak, needy person, the less she will want you. The more you beg for a second chance, the more she will resist. This is just the way the forces of Push and Pull operate.
So you need to think about the importance of holding on to your personal power. You will look diminished in her eyes if you act foolishly. What you need is a longer term plan to impress upon her that you are somebody worth having back – someone of value. And you need to have a strategy that allows her time to recover from the shock and anger of being dumped.
A part of your girlfriend may feel like she wants to give you another chance. But there will often also be this curtain of self pride and self preservation that holds her back. Those forces are strong.
So if this in in play, don’t be in a hurry to start all over again.
Tip Seven: Utilize the Ex Girlfriend Recovery Program I Developed To Win Her Back
What I do here at this website is try to help both guys with getting back with their ex girlfriend. I also help them with moving on if that is the right thing to do.
So if you find yourself in a place in your life where you let the best thing in your life get away by self destructing the relationship you had with your girlfriend, then you are going to need a sensible, comprehensive and Strategic Ex Recovery Plan.
That is what I specialize in. So take a look at the link above to learn more about how to win back your girlfriend after dumping her.
Regaining your girlfriend’s trust and cooperation is not going to happen overnight. Indeed, if things come back together that quickly, then I would be concerned as to whether you are both coming back into each other’s life for the right reasons.
Far too often I have seen breakup couples part ways, then quickly throw themselves back at each other thinking all was well. But oftentimes there are some leftover bad feelings that have not been dealt with.
So an ex recovery plan is going to usually require that sufficient time to elapse so you both can find your bearings. And once you are back together, the work does not end. You will need to use some of the Relationship Toolbox I provide to keep things running smooth.
Just remember, when you start moving toward each other in an effort to make it work, it should take the form of small steps – almost like you are seeing and dating each other for the first time.
It is like a rebuilding project, one brick at a time.