By Chris Seiter

Published on December 18th, 2023

Oftentimes, a breakup can leave you shrouded in memories and uncertainties. The question “Should I move on or try to get her back?”  is probably haunting you. Making this choice isn’t just a matter of following your heart or your head, but a blend of both.

It involves a deep dive into your web of your emotions and eventually surfacing with honest assessments of your past relationship, and a thoughtful consideration of the potential that lies ahead. Weighing the scales of reconciliation against the freedom of moving on requires more than just introspection; it demands courage and a readiness to embrace whatever outcome the future holds.

If you need an immediate Answer to the question consider this:

Deciding whether to move on or attempt to rekindle a relationship hinges on a careful evaluation of the past relationship’s health, understanding the reasons behind the breakup, and assessing your own emotional readiness. While the allure of rekindling old flames is strong, it’s crucial to balance this with a focus on personal growth and healing, ensuring any decision leads to a healthier, more fulfilled you.

Nevertheless, the reality is that there is no quick answer that will satisfy every situation.  So I encourage you to read on and get up to speed on how you may want to approach this difficult decision.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

The Enigma of Deciding: To Rekindle the Relationship or to Move On

The Decision Dilemma:
Deciding whether to pursue reconciliation or to move on is not black and white. It involves weighing the depth of your feelings against the practicality and potential of the relationship. Ask yourself: Was the relationship healthy? Did it bring out the best in both of you? Understanding why the breakup happened is crucial. If it was a matter of circumstance or a misunderstanding, there might be room for repair. However, if fundamental differences or recurring issues led to the split, it might be time to consider moving forward separately.

The Approach:
While you ponder getting back together, it’s essential not to lose sight of your personal growth and healing. This period should be as much about introspection and self-improvement as it is about winning her back. Use this time to reflect on your own needs, goals, and areas where you can grow. Personal development not only makes you a better partner but also ensures that if the relationship does get a second chance, it starts on a stronger, healthier foundation.

Final Breakup Advice on Fighting For Your Ex or Moving On

Embarking on the journey to potentially rekindle a relationship is akin to crossing into a no man’s zone; it’s filled with hope, but also requires a pragmatic approach. The decision to fight for your ex should come from a place of love and understanding, not just a fear of being alone or a reluctance to accept change. It’s about carefully considering why the relationship ended and whether the issues can be resolved in a healthy, constructive way.

Understanding the Dynamics:
Begin by reflecting on the relationship’s dynamics. What were the underlying reasons for the breakup? Were they issues of compatibility, communication, or perhaps external pressures? Understanding her perspective and the intricacies of your past relationship is key. This isn’t about assigning blame, but rather gaining a nuanced understanding of the relationship’s challenges.

Open Communication:
If there’s a chance for dialogue, communicate openly with your ex. Discuss what you’ve learned from the breakup and how you’ve grown. This communication should be respectful and devoid of pressure. Remember, it’s about expressing your feelings and understanding hers, not convincing her to come back. This process can take some time and may even involve a period of no contact before you attempt to text or contact your ex in some other way.

Exploring Every Avenue:
In your quest to win her back, explore every avenue that could lead to a healthy reunion. This could mean couples therapy, taking time to work on personal issues, or simply giving each other space to grow. However, be mindful that your efforts to reconcile are met with openness, and not resistance.

Self-Care and Personal Growth:
Parallel to your efforts in reviving the relationship, invest in your personal growth. Engage in activities that nurture your well-being, such as hobbies, exercise, or spending time with friends and family. Focus on aspects of your life that bring you joy and fulfillment independent of your relationship status. This is a time to strengthen your sense of self and ensure that your happiness doesn’t solely hinge on the relationship.

Realism and Hope:
Approach this path with a balance of hope and realism. While it’s important to remain hopeful, it’s equally crucial to prepare yourself for any outcome. The process of trying to win her back should be undertaken with the understanding that it may not lead to reconciliation, and that’s okay. It’s a part of your journey towards personal growth and future happiness, whether that includes her or not.

Advantages of Repairing the Relationship

1. Deeper Understanding and Stronger Bond:
Efforts to repair a relationship can lead to deeper understanding and stronger connections. Overcoming challenges together can fortify your bond, making it more resilient to future issues.

2. Continued Shared History and Growth:
There’s a unique beauty in growing with someone who has been part of your journey. If the relationship has been fundamentally positive, rebuilding means you get to continue growing together, drawing on your shared history and experiences.

3. Addressing Unresolved Issues:
Attempting to fix a broken relationship provides an opportunity to address and resolve issues that might have been overlooked. This can lead to a healthier dynamic where both partners feel heard and valued.

4. Mutual Effort and Commitment:
The process of getting back together can reinforce the mutual effort and commitment required in a relationship. It’s a testament to the belief that what you have is worth fighting for.

Advantages of Moving On

1. Personal Growth and Independence:
Moving on opens doors to personal growth. It allows you to rediscover your individuality, explore new interests, and develop independence.

2. Opportunity for Healthier Relationships:
Sometimes, a breakup is a stepping stone to finding a relationship that’s more aligned with your needs and goals. It can lead you to a partner who is better suited for you.

3. Breaking a Cycle of Unhealthy Patterns:
If the relationship was fraught with issues or this wasn’t the first breakup, moving on can be a way to break a cycle of unhealthy patterns. It’s a chance to learn from past mistakes and not repeat them.

4. Emotional Healing:
In cases where the breakup was initiated by her and she feels strongly about ending things, moving on can be a path to healing. Clinging to hope in such situations can prolong emotional pain and hinder the healing process.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

The Expert’s Corner

Insider Insights From Chris Seiter: FAQs on “She Broke Up With Me: Should I Move On?”

1. How do I know if I should try to get my ex back or move on?
Decide by reflecting on the relationship’s health and reasons for the breakup. If issues were due to misunderstandings or circumstances that can change, it may be worth trying. However, if fundamental differences or repeated patterns led to the breakup, moving on might be healthier. Listen to both your heart and mind, and consider your well-being.

2. What steps should I take if I decide to try to get her back?
Start with self-reflection and understand what went wrong. Have a Game Plan which means you might want to work with one of our Breakup Coaches. When it is time to communicate, do so strategically.  Once you create a communication opening, build on it.  Eventually you will be able to communicate openly with your ex about your feelings and any changes you’ve made. Be patient and respect her space and feelings. Remember, the goal is not just to get back together but to build a healthier relationship.

3. How long should I wait before trying to rekindle the relationship?
There’s no set time, but it’s important to wait until you’ve both had time to reflect and heal. This could be weeks or months. The key is to ensure you’re not acting on impulse but from a place of genuine understanding and growth.

4. Is it possible to remain friends after a breakup while hoping to get back together?
Remaining friends can be complicated, especially if you have ulterior motives such as wanting much more from the relationship If you choose to stay friends, be honest with yourself about your intentions and be prepared for the possibility that the friendship may not lead back to a romantic relationship.

5. How can I focus on personal growth while trying to get my ex back?
Balance your efforts to win her back with activities that promote your personal development. This can include pursuing hobbies, improving your physical and mental health, and expanding your social network. Personal growth will make you more attractive as a partner and enrich your life, regardless of the relationship’s outcome.

6. What are some signs that I should move on instead of trying to get her back?
If the breakup was due to fundamental incompatibilities, if you’ve broken up multiple times before, or if she’s expressed a clear desire to move on, these are strong indicators that it’s healthier to let go and focus on your journey.

7. How do I deal with the uncertainty of not knowing if we will get back together?
Embrace the uncertainty as a part of life and focus on what you can control – your personal growth and happiness. Find peace in the unknown and trust that whatever the outcome, it will lead to personal development and new opportunities.

8. If we do get back together, how can we ensure the relationship is healthier this time?
Open communication, setting boundaries, and continuous efforts in understanding each other’s needs are crucial. Consider couples therapy to address unresolved issues. Both partners must be committed to the relationship and willing to work on the challenges together.

9. How can I heal from the breakup if I decide to move on?
Allow yourself to grieve, seek support from friends and family, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Focus on self-care and consider professional help if you’re struggling to cope. Remember, healing is a process, and it’s okay to take your time.

10. What lessons can I learn from this breakup, whether I move on or try to get back together?
Every relationship, whether it ends or continues, teaches valuable lessons. Reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself, your needs in a relationship, and how you communicate and handle conflicts. Use these insights to grow as an individual and as a partner in future relationships.


Whether to fight for a lost love or to embrace the path of moving on is a deeply personal decision, one that requires introspection and honesty. If you choose to pursue getting her back, do so wholeheartedly, but with an awareness of your own needs and growth.

This journey, irrespective of its outcome, is as much about understanding yourself as it is about understanding the relationship. On the flip side, choosing to move on is not a defeat; it’s an act of courage. It’s about recognizing when to close a chapter and open yourself to new beginnings.

Both paths have their merits and challenges. Rebuilding a relationship can lead to a stronger, more understanding partnership, while moving on can pave the way for personal growth and new opportunities.

Whatever path you choose, let it be one that leads to a healthier, happier you. Remember, each relationship, whether it continues or ends, is a stepping stone in your journey wherever it may lead you.


Disclosure: I am the Author and Creator of this content. My aim is to provide you with original, well structured and authoritative content about this ex recovery topic utilizing my experience and expertise. I have endeavored to produce content that is high quality, relevant, informative, accurate, and reliable. In doing so, I have used an AI tool to some extent to assist me in generating useful content for my readers. This assistance may include topic research, the development of outline structures, phraseology for titles and headings, content curation, narrative expansion, grammar usage, and optimizing readability. All of this is done for the purpose of adding value to the post that I have produced. I personally “proof” every quality post I write for accuracy, completeness, textual flow, fine-tuning purposes, inclusion of relevant media, and inclusion of helpful internal links to further assist the reader. I do not allow for any 3rd party advertising that would muddy up my content or distract my readers.

Signed By Yours Truly, Chris Seiter, Founder of Ex Boyfriend & Ex Girlfriend Recovery.	

Related Articles